Make Your Class a
“Bully Free Zone”

Presenter:
Shannon J. Holden
www.newteacherhelp.com
Overview of Today’s Session
•
•
•
•
•

What is bullying?
Who are the bullies?
Bullying in your classroom
Bullying outside of your classroom
Cyberbulling
Overview of Today’s Session
•
•
•
•

What YOU can do about bullying
Why efforts to stop bullying have failed
The cost of bullying
Bullying resources
Stop Bullying at Your School!
• Check out a FREE lesson from my latest
online course for students and teachers
called “Bully Neutralizer”
• http://bit.ly/BullyLesson1
• This course educates students and teachers,
and protects administrators from lawsuits!
What is Bullying?
• Bullying can take many forms:
– Physical (pushing, punching, tripping, kicking)
– Irritation (flicking, poking, tapping, slapping)
– Humiliation (I took your stuff, slapped books)
– Pranks (elected SN girl to homecoming court)
– Words (name-calling, rumor-spreading, threats)
– Exclusion (I’m having a party…you aren’t invited)
– Cyber (texts, FB posts, embarrassing pics)

• It is difficult to stop because it can occur
anytime, anywhere
Who Are the Bullies?
•
•
•
•

It’s not just the big kid
Kids feel power in groups
The “Queen Bee” will attack when threatened
Kids will say stuff online they would never say
to someone’s face
• Younger kids put their hands on other people
as a form of communication (and they don’t
think of it as bullying when they are doing it)
Flickety-Slappy-Tap

• I wrote an article about how kids
communicate through touch called “FlicketySlappy-Tap”
• http://www.newteacherhelp.com/Flickety_Slappy
Flickety Slappy-Tap
• FST is difficult to deal with because students
really don’t think it is bullying
• The victim will sometimes do the same thing
to other kids, but report the treatment to their
parents when it happens to them
• Kids don’t understand the difference about
FST when they do it to kids that are NOT
their friend
“We Were Just Playing Around”

• Kids bully others, then give the excuse “We
were just playing around” when you call them
on it
• I wrote an article about this!
• http://www.newteacherhelp.com/-Just_Playing_A
• I love calling parents and they say “Johnny
said he was just playing around” as if YOU
are the problem for having the audacity to
interrupt their child’s play time
Bullying in Your Classroom
• The rule in your classroom should be this:
• “Do not touch anyone else, or their stuff”
• Students should not give their opinion of other
students, or the quality of another student’s
answers during class
• NEVER laugh when a student makes fun of
another student!
• You should tell students to THINK before they
speak
THINK Before You Speak
•
•
•
•
•
•

T – Is it true?
H – Is it helpful?
I – Is it inspiring?
N – Is it necessary?
K – Is it kind?
This is what you should tell your students to
do before they speak in your classroom
• Bring harsh consequences to those who
violate this policy
Bullying Outside of Your Classroom
• You may think that you have no control of
bullying that happens outside of your
classroom
• Make your classroom a “safe haven” for
victims
• Patrol the hallway during class changes to
spot hallway bullying and “Flickety SlappyTap”
Bullying Outside of Your Classroom
• Report incidents to the office immediately
• Speak to students (and their parents) if you
observe them bullying or “Playing Around”
Cyberbullying
• In the olden days, there wasn’t much school
officials could do about cyberbullying
• Many states have passed laws giving school
officials the power to punish cyberbullies if it
can be proven that the cyberbullying “caused
substantial disruption to the educational
environment”
• As an administrator, I have bullied students
print out the FB posts, texts, tweets, or emails
from the bully, and use it as evidence
What YOU Can Do About Bullying
• Don’t sit around and say “Stop, bullies!” like
everyone else
• DO something!
• Report bullies to administration
• Monitor students during class changes,
during class, and in the cafeteria
• Call parents of bullies to let them know how
their child is acting at school
• Let victims know that they can report to you
Addressing the “Culture of Silence”
• There is a culture in most schools that
discourages students from coming forward
• “Snitches get stitches”
• To become a “trusted” adult, you cannot
reveal who is giving you information
Becoming a “Trusted” Adult
• Once you achieve “Trusted” status, your
credibility in the building goes WAY up for
three reasons:
– Students know they can come to you
– You are aware of most of the things happening in
the school
– Students KNOW you know what’s going on

• I would say that you have “Street Cred”, but I
have been told that the term is no longer used
:)
How to Report to the Office
• If the school has security cameras:
– “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I
saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head
lock by Room 44 at 1:18 pm today.”

• If the school does not have security
cameras:
– “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I
saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head
lock today in between 5th & 6th Period. The victim
was Sam Jones. If you could keep his name out
of it he would really appreciate it.”
Addressing Parents of Bully
• NEVER tell a parent that their child is a bully
• They will not believe you, and they will not
listen to another word you say
• Tell the parent “Your child is being unkind to
other students” or “Your child is exhibiting
behaviors that could turn into bullying if we
don’t do something now”
Addressing Parents of Victim
• Tell parents that their child has to report to an
adult every time they are bullied, so
something can be done about it
• Bad advice parents give their kids:
– “Hit the bully back”
– “Carry a weapon for protection”
– “Don’t tell on the bully, it will just make it worse”
– “That school doesn’t do anything about bullying”

• Assure parent that something will be done
Why Efforts to Stop Bullying Have Failed
• We never focus on the bully!
• I find tons of products that target
– The Victim
– The Bystanders
– Parents of the Victim
– School Personnel
– The Community

• MY product targets the source of the
problem – the bully and his/her parents!
Bullying Resources
• “Bully Neutralizer” is a course that schools
are using to punish, educate, and rehabilitate
bullies (and their parents)
Advice For Victims
• Stay with your friends or in a group
– Try not to end up in the bathroom alone

• Walk confidently with your head held high
– Bullies target the weak and unsure
Advice For Victims
• Answer the bully in a calm way
– Don’t act like the bully is intimidating you

• Don’t let the bully see that you are upset
– The bully is trying for a reaction from you
– If you react, it will embolden the bully to keep
doing whatever it is that bothered you
Advice For Victims
• Avoid places where bullying happens
– Hallway that may not be supervised
– Empty classrooms
– Bathroom

• Don’t try to get even or carry a weapon for
protection
– Bad advice
– Will get YOU in trouble
– Takes the focus away from the bully and puts it
on you
Advice For Victims
• Tell an adult such as a teacher, parent, bus
driver, or neighbor
– Keep telling so that something can be done
– It is not “tattling”

• Walk away and ignore the bully
– The BEST advice
Advice For Victims
• Remind yourself that the bully has the
problem….not you
– You are not the only one this person is bullying
– Bullies will have problems in later life
Advice For Victims
• Don’t “Play Around” with others…even your
friends!
• If you are known as a person who likes to
push, poke, tap, slap other people – a bully
will do it to you and use “We were just playing
around” as an excuse
Advice For Bystanders
• Encourage bullied student to tell an adult
what happened
– Offer to go with the student to the office or nurse
– Explain that if it isn’t reported, no one can do
anything about it
– Explain that others will be tormented by the bully
if nothing is done
Advice For Bystanders
• Speak up and tell the bully to stop
– Try to say it in a way that doesn’t make the bully
mad, or think you are challenging the bully
– “You wouldn’t like it if someone did the same
thing to you”
Advice For Bystanders
• Refuse to be a part of the bullying
– Laughing at the actions of the bully lets people
know that you agree with what is being done
– Standing by and watching lets people know that
you agree with what is being done
– One day it may be YOU that is being bullied…
would you want people to stand around and
laugh as YOU are humiliated?
Advice For Bystanders
• Be friendly & helpful to the person being
bullied
– Offer to help pick up the books thrown on the
ground by the bully
– Offer to be a witness when they go to the office
– Offer to walk the victim to the nurse
The Cost of Bullying
• Numerous young people commit suicide
every year due to bullying
• This has led several states to strengthen their
stance on bullying
New State Laws
• Old laws (like Title IX) said that schools
could be held responsible for damages if
“they knew about the bullying and did
nothing”
• New laws in several states now say schools
could be held responsible for damages if
“they knew or should have known….and
did not take effective action” against the
bully
• A whole bunch of educators are about to get
sued when parents find out!
My Advice to Teachers & Administrators
• Take steps against the bully, and document,
document, document!
• My product is great because it shows you
took action against the bully and his/her
parents
Bully Neutralizer
• I make students who engage in bullying
behaviors take an online course I made
• The course contains lessons, PowerPoints,
videos, and online quizzes that the bully
must pass in order to satisfactorily complete
the course
Bully Neutralizer
• In extreme cases, I require a parent to take
the course with their child
• I document the fact that the child has taken
the course
• I keep this documentation in case the
parents of a bullying victim attempt to sue
me or the school for “not doing anything” to
stop the bullying
The Bullying Matrix
• Included in my ebook is a creation I call
“The Bullying Matrix”
• It is the actual matrix that I use to reduce
bullying behaviors at my Middle School in
Missouri
• I give the matrix to parents, and let them
know what level their child is on
The Bullying Matrix
• The matrix is a series of steps, each one
includes a more intrusive action against
the bully
• Each step includes a documentation piece
• Parents actually like the matrix because
there are no surprises
“Just Say No”
• Lots of celebrities are lending a hand to end
bullying
• Here’s what they do: “Bullying HAS to stop!”
• I admire their effort, but they have no idea
how to address this complex issue
• “Stop, bullies!” has solved our bullying
problem about as effectively as “Just Say No”
has solved our drug problem
My Attempt…
• I have written reproducible documents with
steps to help:
– Bullying victims
– The “bully”
– Parents of victims
– Parents of the bully
– School administrators
– Teachers
– Bystanders

• Print them out…hand them out!
For More Information
• If you need more information, or help with
implementing the “Bully Neutralizer”
program, contact me at
• shannon@digitallearningtree.com
• Put “Bully Neutralizer” as the subject of your
email, and I will send you the ebook for
FREE!

Bully Neutralizer

  • 1.
    Make Your Classa “Bully Free Zone” Presenter: Shannon J. Holden www.newteacherhelp.com
  • 2.
    Overview of Today’sSession • • • • • What is bullying? Who are the bullies? Bullying in your classroom Bullying outside of your classroom Cyberbulling
  • 3.
    Overview of Today’sSession • • • • What YOU can do about bullying Why efforts to stop bullying have failed The cost of bullying Bullying resources
  • 4.
    Stop Bullying atYour School! • Check out a FREE lesson from my latest online course for students and teachers called “Bully Neutralizer” • http://bit.ly/BullyLesson1 • This course educates students and teachers, and protects administrators from lawsuits!
  • 5.
    What is Bullying? •Bullying can take many forms: – Physical (pushing, punching, tripping, kicking) – Irritation (flicking, poking, tapping, slapping) – Humiliation (I took your stuff, slapped books) – Pranks (elected SN girl to homecoming court) – Words (name-calling, rumor-spreading, threats) – Exclusion (I’m having a party…you aren’t invited) – Cyber (texts, FB posts, embarrassing pics) • It is difficult to stop because it can occur anytime, anywhere
  • 6.
    Who Are theBullies? • • • • It’s not just the big kid Kids feel power in groups The “Queen Bee” will attack when threatened Kids will say stuff online they would never say to someone’s face • Younger kids put their hands on other people as a form of communication (and they don’t think of it as bullying when they are doing it)
  • 7.
    Flickety-Slappy-Tap • I wrotean article about how kids communicate through touch called “FlicketySlappy-Tap” • http://www.newteacherhelp.com/Flickety_Slappy
  • 8.
    Flickety Slappy-Tap • FSTis difficult to deal with because students really don’t think it is bullying • The victim will sometimes do the same thing to other kids, but report the treatment to their parents when it happens to them • Kids don’t understand the difference about FST when they do it to kids that are NOT their friend
  • 9.
    “We Were JustPlaying Around” • Kids bully others, then give the excuse “We were just playing around” when you call them on it • I wrote an article about this! • http://www.newteacherhelp.com/-Just_Playing_A • I love calling parents and they say “Johnny said he was just playing around” as if YOU are the problem for having the audacity to interrupt their child’s play time
  • 10.
    Bullying in YourClassroom • The rule in your classroom should be this: • “Do not touch anyone else, or their stuff” • Students should not give their opinion of other students, or the quality of another student’s answers during class • NEVER laugh when a student makes fun of another student! • You should tell students to THINK before they speak
  • 11.
    THINK Before YouSpeak • • • • • • T – Is it true? H – Is it helpful? I – Is it inspiring? N – Is it necessary? K – Is it kind? This is what you should tell your students to do before they speak in your classroom • Bring harsh consequences to those who violate this policy
  • 12.
    Bullying Outside ofYour Classroom • You may think that you have no control of bullying that happens outside of your classroom • Make your classroom a “safe haven” for victims • Patrol the hallway during class changes to spot hallway bullying and “Flickety SlappyTap”
  • 13.
    Bullying Outside ofYour Classroom • Report incidents to the office immediately • Speak to students (and their parents) if you observe them bullying or “Playing Around”
  • 14.
    Cyberbullying • In theolden days, there wasn’t much school officials could do about cyberbullying • Many states have passed laws giving school officials the power to punish cyberbullies if it can be proven that the cyberbullying “caused substantial disruption to the educational environment” • As an administrator, I have bullied students print out the FB posts, texts, tweets, or emails from the bully, and use it as evidence
  • 15.
    What YOU CanDo About Bullying • Don’t sit around and say “Stop, bullies!” like everyone else • DO something! • Report bullies to administration • Monitor students during class changes, during class, and in the cafeteria • Call parents of bullies to let them know how their child is acting at school • Let victims know that they can report to you
  • 16.
    Addressing the “Cultureof Silence” • There is a culture in most schools that discourages students from coming forward • “Snitches get stitches” • To become a “trusted” adult, you cannot reveal who is giving you information
  • 17.
    Becoming a “Trusted”Adult • Once you achieve “Trusted” status, your credibility in the building goes WAY up for three reasons: – Students know they can come to you – You are aware of most of the things happening in the school – Students KNOW you know what’s going on • I would say that you have “Street Cred”, but I have been told that the term is no longer used :)
  • 18.
    How to Reportto the Office • If the school has security cameras: – “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock by Room 44 at 1:18 pm today.” • If the school does not have security cameras: – “Just a heads-up in case you get a phone call – I saw Billy Zimmerman put another kid in a head lock today in between 5th & 6th Period. The victim was Sam Jones. If you could keep his name out of it he would really appreciate it.”
  • 19.
    Addressing Parents ofBully • NEVER tell a parent that their child is a bully • They will not believe you, and they will not listen to another word you say • Tell the parent “Your child is being unkind to other students” or “Your child is exhibiting behaviors that could turn into bullying if we don’t do something now”
  • 20.
    Addressing Parents ofVictim • Tell parents that their child has to report to an adult every time they are bullied, so something can be done about it • Bad advice parents give their kids: – “Hit the bully back” – “Carry a weapon for protection” – “Don’t tell on the bully, it will just make it worse” – “That school doesn’t do anything about bullying” • Assure parent that something will be done
  • 21.
    Why Efforts toStop Bullying Have Failed • We never focus on the bully! • I find tons of products that target – The Victim – The Bystanders – Parents of the Victim – School Personnel – The Community • MY product targets the source of the problem – the bully and his/her parents!
  • 22.
    Bullying Resources • “BullyNeutralizer” is a course that schools are using to punish, educate, and rehabilitate bullies (and their parents)
  • 23.
    Advice For Victims •Stay with your friends or in a group – Try not to end up in the bathroom alone • Walk confidently with your head held high – Bullies target the weak and unsure
  • 24.
    Advice For Victims •Answer the bully in a calm way – Don’t act like the bully is intimidating you • Don’t let the bully see that you are upset – The bully is trying for a reaction from you – If you react, it will embolden the bully to keep doing whatever it is that bothered you
  • 25.
    Advice For Victims •Avoid places where bullying happens – Hallway that may not be supervised – Empty classrooms – Bathroom • Don’t try to get even or carry a weapon for protection – Bad advice – Will get YOU in trouble – Takes the focus away from the bully and puts it on you
  • 26.
    Advice For Victims •Tell an adult such as a teacher, parent, bus driver, or neighbor – Keep telling so that something can be done – It is not “tattling” • Walk away and ignore the bully – The BEST advice
  • 27.
    Advice For Victims •Remind yourself that the bully has the problem….not you – You are not the only one this person is bullying – Bullies will have problems in later life
  • 28.
    Advice For Victims •Don’t “Play Around” with others…even your friends! • If you are known as a person who likes to push, poke, tap, slap other people – a bully will do it to you and use “We were just playing around” as an excuse
  • 29.
    Advice For Bystanders •Encourage bullied student to tell an adult what happened – Offer to go with the student to the office or nurse – Explain that if it isn’t reported, no one can do anything about it – Explain that others will be tormented by the bully if nothing is done
  • 30.
    Advice For Bystanders •Speak up and tell the bully to stop – Try to say it in a way that doesn’t make the bully mad, or think you are challenging the bully – “You wouldn’t like it if someone did the same thing to you”
  • 31.
    Advice For Bystanders •Refuse to be a part of the bullying – Laughing at the actions of the bully lets people know that you agree with what is being done – Standing by and watching lets people know that you agree with what is being done – One day it may be YOU that is being bullied… would you want people to stand around and laugh as YOU are humiliated?
  • 32.
    Advice For Bystanders •Be friendly & helpful to the person being bullied – Offer to help pick up the books thrown on the ground by the bully – Offer to be a witness when they go to the office – Offer to walk the victim to the nurse
  • 33.
    The Cost ofBullying • Numerous young people commit suicide every year due to bullying • This has led several states to strengthen their stance on bullying
  • 34.
    New State Laws •Old laws (like Title IX) said that schools could be held responsible for damages if “they knew about the bullying and did nothing” • New laws in several states now say schools could be held responsible for damages if “they knew or should have known….and did not take effective action” against the bully • A whole bunch of educators are about to get sued when parents find out!
  • 35.
    My Advice toTeachers & Administrators • Take steps against the bully, and document, document, document! • My product is great because it shows you took action against the bully and his/her parents
  • 36.
    Bully Neutralizer • Imake students who engage in bullying behaviors take an online course I made • The course contains lessons, PowerPoints, videos, and online quizzes that the bully must pass in order to satisfactorily complete the course
  • 37.
    Bully Neutralizer • Inextreme cases, I require a parent to take the course with their child • I document the fact that the child has taken the course • I keep this documentation in case the parents of a bullying victim attempt to sue me or the school for “not doing anything” to stop the bullying
  • 38.
    The Bullying Matrix •Included in my ebook is a creation I call “The Bullying Matrix” • It is the actual matrix that I use to reduce bullying behaviors at my Middle School in Missouri • I give the matrix to parents, and let them know what level their child is on
  • 39.
    The Bullying Matrix •The matrix is a series of steps, each one includes a more intrusive action against the bully • Each step includes a documentation piece • Parents actually like the matrix because there are no surprises
  • 40.
    “Just Say No” •Lots of celebrities are lending a hand to end bullying • Here’s what they do: “Bullying HAS to stop!” • I admire their effort, but they have no idea how to address this complex issue • “Stop, bullies!” has solved our bullying problem about as effectively as “Just Say No” has solved our drug problem
  • 41.
    My Attempt… • Ihave written reproducible documents with steps to help: – Bullying victims – The “bully” – Parents of victims – Parents of the bully – School administrators – Teachers – Bystanders • Print them out…hand them out!
  • 42.
    For More Information •If you need more information, or help with implementing the “Bully Neutralizer” program, contact me at • shannon@digitallearningtree.com • Put “Bully Neutralizer” as the subject of your email, and I will send you the ebook for FREE!