This document summarizes information about bullying, including definitions, myths, characteristics of bullies and victims, and consequences. It discusses types of bullying like physical, verbal, emotional and cyberbullying. The summary also provides strategies for parents, children, and schools to address bullying such as communicating openly, establishing clear rules, increasing supervision, and intervening consistently when incidents occur.

1. Bullying is EverywhereNot just Over ThereMarcia M. Laviage, PhDClinical PsychologistMedical Staff – Texas Children’s Hospital281-242-2595marcylaviage@gmail.comwww.sugarbendcenter.com

2. OBJECTIVES To define what is/is not bullyingTo identify consequences of bullyingTo be able to engage in effective discussion with your child whether he/she is a bully or a victimTo be able to address the issue with your child without panic, fear, and/or anger

3. What IS Bullying?Repeated actions causing embarrassment, shame, fear, and/or anxietyPhysical, verbal, emotional/nonverbal, and/or cyber-bullyingIntentionalInvolves an imbalance of power or strengthIncidents last only a few secondsIn unstructured settings (hallways, playgrounds, lunchrooms, bathrooms)

4. What’s NOT Bullying? Fighting2 children of equal skillHumiliation and harm is not an important part of the processEarly elementary developmentVerbal emotional expression not yet developedCan appear aggressiveDoesn’t mean will grow up to be a bully

5. MYTHS ABOUT BULLYINGMost bullying now happens onlineBullies are bullies and victims are victimsBullying ends when you grow upBullying is a major cause of suicideWe can end bullying

6. Here’s the Upside…2009 StudySteps to Respect (elementary school program) teaching how to Recognize, Refuse, and Report bullying, be assertive, and build friendships – 31% reduction in bullyingOther reductions reported withParent TrainingIncreased Playground SupervisionEffective Disciplinary MethodsHome-and-School CommunicationClassroom ManagementTraining Videos

7. TYPICAL BULLY CHARACTERISTICSAverage to above avg self-esteemStrong need to dominateImpulsiveEasily AngeredOften Defiant toward adultsShow little empathyIf boys, typically stronger than boys in general

8. Did You Say Higher Self-Esteem?Children who bully more likely than peers to:Get into frequent fightsBe injured in a fightVandalize propertyStealDrink alcoholSmokeBe truant/Drop out of School

9. TYPICAL VICTIM CHARACTERISTICSCautious, sensitiveQuiet, withdrawn, shyAnxious, insecure, unhappy, LSELittle to no friends – relate better to adultsIf boys, physically weaker than their peers

10. BULLY VS NON-BULLYFalse DichotomyLabeling others and themselves as either a bully or a non-bully…AT ALL TIMESProblem – what happens when a non-bully (ie, gets good grades, participates in extracurricular activities) engages in bully behavior?Student dismisses anti-bullying messages as “not for me.”Teachers can make same mistake – miss viewing bullying as a problem in their schools

11. GIRLS and GOSSIP905 children ages 10-14Those rated as socially aggressive for spreading gossip or intentionally excluding others are more popular at young end of age rangePopular 5th graders who rated high in gossip – by 9th grade, popularity and likeability were negatively correlated to gossip

12. BUT CAN IT BE STOPPED?Study – recording of lunchtime chat of 78 middle-school studentsWhen child started to gossip, others responded encouragingly 80% of the timeOnce this happens, others rarely disagreedHOWEVER, IF someone countered the gossip immediately, others more likely to dissent

13. CONSEQUENCES OF BULLYING GIRLSGirls targeted in primary school 2 ½ times more likely to remain victims than boysGirls directly victimized at 6 years old significantly more likely to still be a direct victim at age 10 Bullying changes over age Direct victimization to relational victimization (spreading of gossip, withdrawal of friendships, social exclusion)

14. BULLY=POPULAR=LIKABLE?Increase Popularity = Decrease LikabilityPopularity = Social InfluencePopularity does not translate into who you want your child to become

15. SOCIAL STATUSResearch has CONFIRMED (February, 2011): Kids intent on climbing the social ladder at school are more likely to pick on their fellow studentsStatus increases Aggression

16. SOCIAL STATUS (cont.)98%Top 2%Aggressive behavior peakedWorking hard to get to the topAggression – physical attacks, verbal harassment, rumors, ostracizing peersHigher social status in Fall predicted higher rates of aggression in SpringDid not harass peersLittle left to gain by being meanPicking on others only made them insecure

17. Useful, but now what?Reinforces new direction for anti-bullying programsBYSTANDERSIf other students allow aggression to continue, reinforces what the bully is doing

18. CYBER-BULLYINGWillful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices…The Cyberbullying Research Center

19. CYBERBULLYING (cont.)2010 Study by The CB Research CenterN=4,441 Students ages 10-18Large Southern School District37 Schools2010 Research Study20% experienced CB20% engaged in CBTeenage Girls most likely to CB (21% vs. 18%)Girls – spread rumorsBoys – hurtful pictures/videosStudents who have experienced CB, 1.5x more likely to have thoughts of suicide

20. What Can Parents do?Do NOT take away…FACEBOOK, MY SPACE, EMAIL, TEXT, TWITTER, AIM, IM, …WHY?The #1 Reason teens do NOT talk to their parents? They do NOT want their computer, cell phone taken away!

21. BUT…Talk about Responsible BehaviorTalk about Reporting Irresponsible BehaviorMonitor Use – Time spent onlineSupervise – Gave up right to freedom when put life publicly on internetReport Behavior Yourself (to police, school)

22. Websites about CBCenter for Safe & Responsible Internet Usehttp://csriu.org/WiredSafety.org - http://www.wiredsafety.org/Steps to Respect – http:community.cfchildren.org/i-Safe America - http://www.isafe.org/Cyberbullying Research Centerhttp://www.cyberbullying.us

23. CONSEQUENCES OF BULLYINGFinnish Study – 2,540 boys at age 8 then again at ages 18-23Bullies - more likely to develop Antisocial Personality, Substance Abuse, Depression, and AnxietyVictims – more likely to develop only AnxietyBullies AND victims – more likely to develop Antisocial Personality and Anxiety D/O

24. CONSEQUENCES OF BULLYING (cont.)University of Illinois study – 10,060 10th graders in 659 public AND private high schoolsLooked at Verbal Harrassment ONLY1 out of 5 “often put down” by peersPsychologically hostile classroom - good students have difficulty learning; students who are behind have trouble catching upBoys experience verbal bullying more often than girls, particularly if in private schoolSmaller, private, and more affluent schools do very little to protect students from verbal abuse

25. CONSEQUENCES OF BULLYING GIRLSGirls targeted in primary school 2 ½ times more likely to remain victims than boysDecember, 2010 Univ. of Washington1,495 10th gradersIdentified link between bullying and substance use

26. CONSEQUENCES OF BULLYING (cont.)Low Self EsteemFeelings of FearSchool phobia/absenteeismNightmares, SleeplessnessDepression, AnixetyThoughts of Suicide

27. WEST JORDAN, UTAH6TH grader drafted hit list of 12 studentsMonths of taunting – beatings and having dog manure thrown in his faceOne of the bullies grabbed the list from him and gave it to a teacherWho got into trouble?

28. CAN WE GET TO THE GOOD STUFF ALREADY??

29. CAUSES OF BULLYINGNo Single CauseCharacteristics of…IndividualFamilyPeersSchoolCommunity/ReligionAll can place a child at risk

30. FAMILY RISK FACTORSOverly-permissive parenting – lack of limitsLack of SupervisionHarsh, physical disciplineModeling of bullying behaviorLack of warmthLack of parental involvement

31. MY CHILD…A BULLY?Not born to bullyCombination of learned behavior and genetic pre-dispositionIf they can learn it…They can unlearn itDepends on YOU

32. IF SO…Have a serious talk Clear and consistent rulesMODEL, MODEL, MODEL!!! Don’t be a bully!Spend more time with him/herIncrease supervision with friendsCommunicate with teacherConsult

33. WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED?Be aware of signsTorn or missing clothing, books, itemsResistance to going to schoolLost interest in schoolwork/decline in gradesSad, moody when comes home after schoolCommunicate directly to school staffDocument incidentsBe collaborative, not combativeModel positive behavior Avoid putting child in position of exclusivity

34. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD“What’s going on?” Who, When, Where, Why, How, How many times?Explain cliques in terms of power/control, not friendshipShare your own memories – empathyBrainstorm/Problem-solveThis too shall pass

35. HOW NOT TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD“What did you do to aggravate him/her?”“Just ignore him.”“Tease/fight back.”“Why did you handle it that way? That was a bad idea!”“Don’t be a tattle tale.”

36. WHAT CAN YOU DO?Don’t Stir the Pot!“Sugar and Spite and a Legal Mess Not Nice."

37. WHAT CAN THE CHILD DO?Always tell an adultIf told an adult before with no response, tell someone elseIf afraid to go alone, bring along friend/siblingTell adult: Who, When, Where, How Long, How it made him/her feelIf adult is at school, ask them how they will help stop the bullyingStay in a groupLess of an easy target

38. WHAT CAN THE CHILD DO? (cont)Assertive, not Provocative ResponsesStand Up to the BullyDoes NOT mean to FIGHT/BULLY BACK!Tell Bully (1) I don’t like it and (2) STOP, then walk awayUse a calm voiceAppear confident - Do NOT show distressed emotion

39. WHAT CAN THE SCHOOL DO?70% teachers believed that teachers intervene “almost always” in bullying situation25% students agreed 25% teachers see nothing wrong with bullying – intervene 4% of the timeStudents describe adult intervention isInfrequent, unhelpful, more harmful30% 3rd-8th graders say adults did little to nothing to help

40. SO…WHAT IS HELPFUL?Private talk with the student being bulliedPrivate talk with “innocent” bystandersPrivate talk with parents of both bully and victim

41. WHAT CAN SCHOOL DO (cont)Train all StaffModels for respectful behaviorResponse is consistentDiscipline is therapeutic, not punitiveEncourage reports of aggression rather than focusing on reducing “tattling”Do NOT blame the victim – send clear message to bully that he/she is fully responsible for actions

42. What Works in Schools?School-Wide environment that discourages bullying Student surveyTraining to recognize and respond to bullyingDevelopment of consistent rules against bullyingReview and enhancement of school’s disciplinary code related to bullying behavior

43. What Works in Schools?Classroom activities to discuss issues related to bullyingIntegration of bullying prevention themes across the curriculumInvolvement of parents in bullying prevention

44. WHAT DOES NOT WORK?Forced apologiesZero tolerance policiesConflict Resolution/Peer MediationNOT a conflict!; its victimizationNO negotiationGroup Treatment for BulliesFeed off one another

45. WE MUST WORK TOGETHER

46. Q & A

47. RESOURCESOlweusBullying Prevention Programwww.clemson.edu/olweusStop Bullying Now – HRSAwww.stopbullyingnow.comBack Off Bully – Stuart Twemlow, MDwww.backoffbully.comSAMHSAwww.samhsa.gov/library/searchreal.aspx (use search to find bullying)