The document discusses difficult conversations in the workplace. It provides tips for having constructive difficult conversations, including developing perspective, being aware of your state, always having the conversation, taking responsibility for your perceptions and feelings, creating team rules, finding new ways to address issues, making process reviews regular, asking for help from a third party, and staying adaptable. The overall message is that difficult conversations will define businesses and addressing issues directly can help avoid common startup failures.

1. Welcome Back
Please move seats so
that you are sitting
with people other than
those you work with.
Thank you!

2. Difficult Conversations
Paul Kenny

3. EXPLETIVE
DELETED
****

4. So what makes a
conversation difficult?

6. What makes a
conversation difficult ?
Standards
Impediments to progress
Perspective (clash of)
Emotionally difficult to process
Ego depleting

7. Perceived
lack of effort Promises
Priorities Performance
& Reward
Technical
Differences
Zones Of
Control
Unpopular
Tasks

8. Perceived
lack of effort Promises
Priorities Performance
Technical
Differences
Zones Of
Control
Unpopular
Tasks
Customer
Demands
Work
Style
Stress
Personal
Loyalties
Opinions
Clash of
egos

9. The web of human
interactions in your
business is the most
complex issue you will
face.
The answers to all
your product and
customer issues begin
here.

10. “Coding is the
easy part”

11. Why difficult
conversations will
define your business

13. Guns‘N Roses

14. The Rolling Stones

15. “It was the beginning of the ‘80s when
Mick started to become unbearable”
Keith Richards “Life”

16. Difficult
Conversations
can help to avoid
common start up
failures
Fortune 2014

17. The Fish
“The fish
always rots
from the brain”
Eastern European Proverb

18. Molehills become mountains……..
People really do make mountains of
molehills

19. Unspoken
conversations,
the situation
rarely gets
better it just
gets later…

20. Unresolved issues
divide staff and
create cliques

21. But it’s not just about avoiding the bad stuff

22. Zone Of
Uncomfortable
Debate

23. Everything was fine but now it’s not…..
2009 2012 2013

24. Difficult Conversations are often a
“Leadership Moment”

25. Why we fail to have the
right conversation

26. Task Process

27. Our colleagues are our friends

28. Time
TIME TALENT

29. Emotion Logic

30. So what to do?
The big list of tactics for difficult
conversations

31. 1. Develop Perspective

34. Below The Line
Wisdom Sage
Stress Warrior
Creativity Magician
Balance Steward
Clarity Visionary
Anxiety Politician
Fear Casualty
2. Be aware of your state

35. 3. Always have the conversation
(never procrastinate)

36. 4. Remember you
can only change
behaviors

37. 5. Take responsibility for your
perception and your feelings
What I noticed
What I believe
How I feel

38. A Friendly Word!
• Behaviour
• Consequences
• Options
• Next Steps

39. 6. Create team rules

40. 7. Find Interesting new ways to
address contentious issues

41. 8. Make process reviews as
regular as progress reviews

42. 9. Don’t be afraid to ask a third
party to help

43. 10. Stay adaptable
(position vs. principle)
Courage is what it takes to stand up and
speak; courage is also what it takes to sit
down and listen.
-- Winston Churchill