The document discusses the importance of feedback in software teams, highlighting its role in improving communication, trust, and collaboration. It outlines various types of feedback, challenges in giving and receiving it, and provides practical strategies for enhancing feedback skills. Additionally, it emphasizes the need for a feedback-positive culture initiated by leadership and suggests resources for further development.

1. Better
Fearless Feedback for
Software Teams
@eacarlson

2. Hello!
• Hi! I’m Erika.
• (I’m @eacarlson, too.)
• I’m a software developer.
• I work at Detroit Labs in Detroit,
Michigan.
• I train and coach software developers.

3. Introduction
• What is feedback?
• Why is feedback important to teams?
• Why do teams struggle with giving and
receiving feedback?
• How do we get better at feedback?
• How do I know?
@eacarlson

4. What is Feedback?
• A response to a person’s behavior
and/or performance, shared with the
person for the purposes of:
• Increasing his/her awareness
• Shaping his/her behavior
@eacarlson

5. Types of Feedback
• Affirmative
• Reinforce behavior & increase the likelihood that
it will be continued/repeated
• Constructive
• Re-shape behavior or deter it from being
continued/repeated
• Passive
• Devalue or condone behavior through inaction
@eacarlson

6. Why Does it Matter?
• Feedback is one of the best tools we have for
improving individual and team performance
• Feedback improves communication, builds
trust, and helps teammates to collaborate
more effectively, speeding problem-solving
• Feedback helps teams to solve problems
early, addressing issues before they become
toxic
@eacarlson

7. Why Is it Difficult?
• Teams struggle with feedback because people
struggle with feedback
• Giving and receiving feedback are both complex
skills
• Most people haven’t had the opportunity or
resources to develop good feedback skills
• Giving and receiving feedback effectively
requires openness, maturity, self-awareness,
courage, vulnerability, confidence, and trust
@eacarlson

8. Managing Fear
• Fears represent opportunities for growth
• Fears are real, but they are not an irrevocable part of who we
are
• When you’re feeling anxiety about giving or receiving
feedback, ask yourself the following questions:
• What am I afraid of?
• What’s the underlying fear?
• What steps could I take to overcome this fear?
• What could I gain by moving beyond this fear?
@eacarlson

9. Feedback 101
• Be specific, thoughtful, and direct
• Structure: Situation, Behavior, Impact
• In (SITUATION), when you did (BEHAVIOR), the outcome
was (IMPACT).
• Example (Affirmative): “On today’s phone call, when you
praised our demo, the team was inspired and motivated to
repeat that success.”
• Example (Constructive): “In yesterday’s client meeting,
when you interrupted and talked over me, I felt frustrated
and hurt.”
@eacarlson

10. 1. Listen actively.
• While you are receiving feedback, listen
intentionally
• Listen to listen, not to respond
• Be conscious of your body language
• If you are receiving constructive feedback, it may
be helpful to confirm understanding: “What I’m
hearing you say is that it’s disruptive to you
when I drop by your desk without asking first,
and that’s making you feel frustrated.”
@eacarlson

11. 2. Say “Thank you.”
• Accept positive feedback graciously,
without denying or minimizing
• Say “Thank you.”
• Accept constructive feedback without
arguing, pushing back, or getting
defensive
• Say “Thank you for the feedback.”
@eacarlson

12. 3. Respond (later).
• When you receive constructive feedback,
take some time to assess your emotions
• Try to complete this sentence: “I feel
_____ about this feedback”
• Sit with the feedback until you feel less
emotional about it
• Decide if and how to act
@eacarlson

13. 4. Assume the best.
• Always assume positive intent
• When you give constructive feedback, assume
that the other person was acting from positive
intentions
• When you receive constructive feedback, assume
that the other person is sharing that feedback
because they are invested in your growth
• Feedback is a gift for the purpose of helping you
grow
@eacarlson

14. 5. Be specific.
• Whether feedback is affirmative or constructive, it should
be specific
• Name actions and behaviors; quote directly if appropriate
• Generic: “Nice job. You did great!”
• Specific: “You were thorough but very easy to follow; I
really liked the story you told about Project X. I also
thought you were very enthusiastic, and that made it fun
to listen to you.”
• Don’t try to deliver too much feedback at once
@eacarlson

15. 6. Let it land.
• In order for critical feedback to effective, it
needs to be direct and unmitigated
• Delivering critical constructive feedback can
feel difficult and uncomfortable
• Attempts to “soften” the feedback can lessen
its impact
• The “compliment sandwich” can do more
harm than good
@eacarlson

16. 7. Be collaborative.
• Ask before delivering unsolicited
constructive feedback
• Give the other person options as to when (as
long as it’s timely) and how (as long as it’s
reasonable) they would like to receive
feedback
• Confirm understanding
• Follow up
@eacarlson

17. 8. Avoid anti-patterns.
• Don’t attack someone’s character
(Feedback is about what a person did,
not who they are)
• No retribution for feedback
• Don’t give constructive feedback in
public
• Avoid anonymous feedback
@eacarlson

18. 9. Lead by example.
• Good feedback culture starts with leadership
• Your team notices what you model
• Proactive steps: regular 1:1s, structured peer
feedback, all-team retros
• Use structure as scaffolding
• The ultimate goal is for feedback to happen
organically in the moment
@eacarlson

19. 10. Practice!
• The best way to get good at giving and receiving
feedback is to practice
• Practice with a teammate or friend
• Find a mentor (colleague, supervisor, or professional
coach)
• Organize a group of colleagues to facilitate peer
feedback
• Organize (or request) a feedback training for your
team
@eacarlson

20. Feedback Survey
• What are the first words that come to mind when I think of the term “feedback”?
• How do I feel about giving affirmative feedback?
• How do I feel about receiving affirmative feedback?
• How do I feel about giving constructive feedback?
• How do I feel about receiving constructive feedback?
• In which area(s) do I most need to improve?
• Am I receiving sufficient feedback from my team on a regular basis?
• Am I giving sufficient feedback to my team on a regular basis?
• Is there someone I’m actively avoiding giving feedback to right now? Who?
Why?
• What is one thing I could do this week to improve my feedback skills?
@eacarlson

21. Challenges
• Give a teammate specific, thoughtful, affirmative
feedback
• Ask a teammate (or supervisor) to tell you one thing
you do well and one thing you could do better
• Create a #thanks Slack channel (or other forum)
where teammates can acknowledge each other for a
job well done
• Bonus: Start a conversation with your team: “How do
you think we’re doing at giving and receiving
feedback? How could we be better?”
@eacarlson

22. Additional Resources
• Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and
Art of Receiving Feedback Well - Douglas
Stone & Sheila Heen
• The 5 Keys to Mindful Communication -
Susan Gillis Chapman
• Crucial Conversations - Kerry Patterson
• What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent
Communication - Ike Lasater
@eacarlson

23. Erika
Carlson
@eacarlson
erika@detroitlabs.com