As museums adapt to an increasingly diverse society, they need methods for taking action against both individual and systemic biases. Rather than expect those who are targeted to effect change in isolation, the Ally Skills Workshop provides techniques for staff, management, and board members to join in shaping a more equitable and inclusive museum culture. Presenter: Dr. Sheila Addison, President, Margin to Center Consulting

1. Welcome to the Ally Skills Workshop
Please fill out a name tag & include your
pronouns!
Common pronouns:
 they/them/theirs
 she/her/hers
 he/him/his

2. Ally Skills Workshop
Dr. Sheila Addison
Margin to Center Consulting
http://www. drsheilaaddison.com/allyskills
CC BY-SA Frame Shift Consulting LLC, Dr. Sheila Addison,
The Ada Initiative

3. Dr. Sheila Addison, LMFT
 In private practice in Oakland, CA
 Clinical supervisor, trainer, consultant
 Faculty in various graduate programs in the Bay
Area since 2007
 Now “post-ac”
 Author
 LGBTQ couples
 Therapy with diverse couples
 Intersectionality in therapy Dr. Sheila Addison
She, her, hers

4. Format of the workshop
 30 minute introduction
 60 minute group discussion of scenarios
 10 minute break
 90 minute group discussion of scenarios
 5 minute wrap-up
~ 3.5 hours total

5. What is an ally? Some terminology first:
Privilege: an unearned advantage given by society to
some people but not all
Oppression: systemic, pervasive inequality that is
present throughout society, that benefits people with
harms those with fewer privileges

6. What is an ally? Some terminology first:
Target: someone who suffers from oppression (also
called "a member of a marginalized group")
Ally: a member of a social group that enjoys some
privilege that is working to end oppression and
privilege
Actions

7. Example
Privilege: The ability to walk into a convenience store
and have the owner assume you are there to buy things
Oppression: The self-reinforcing system of stories, TV,
news coverage, police, and legal system stereotyping
criminals, that benefits non-Black people and harms

8. Example
Target: Any Black person who wants to enter a
convenience store
Ally: A non-Black person who donates to legal system
reform organizations, actively objects to racist stories,
representatives to support police reform, and shares
this privilege

9. Example
Target: Any Black person who wants to enter a
convenience store
Ally: A non-Black person who donates to legal system
reform organizations, actively objects to racist stories,
representatives to support police reform, and shares
this privilege
Actions

10. Can you act as an ally?
Depending on the situation, you may have some unearned societal
advantages if you are:
 Ethnic majority
 Male
 Cisgender (more later)
 Straight
 Not disabled
 A legal resident or citizen
 Speak certain language(s)
 Specific ages
 Certain height/size/shape
 Not a mother or caregiver
 Educated
 Technically experienced
 Wealthy (can be earned)
 From an upper class family
 High caste
 And many more...

11. Intersectionality
 Oppression is not one-dimensional
 Dimensions of privilege and
oppression interact & intersect
 E.g. being a tall muscular man

12. Intersectionality
Most people have some privileges and some disadvantages
It is usually easier for us to notice when our disadvantages are “in play”
than our privileges
Example: A queer white Jewish cisgender man who has a slim build may
slim build may be more aware of instances of heterosexism and anti-
Semitism than he is of racism, transphobia, or sizeism

13. Why should allies take action more than targets?
"[...] Ethnic minority or female leaders who engage in diversity-valuing
behavior are penalized with worse performance ratings; whereas [ethnic
majority] or male leaders who engage in diversity-valuing behavior are not
penalized for doing so."
David Hekman, Stefanie Johnson, Wei Yang & Maw Der Foo, 2016
Does valuing diversity result in worse performance ratings for minority and female leaders?
http://amj.aom.org/content/early/2016/03/03/amj.2014.0538.abstract

14. Ally = ACTION
Dr. Karen Bradberry

15. Many efforts focus on
increasing diversity without
also increasing inclusion
Diversity & Inclusion

16. • Volunteer-run affinity groups
• Minority scholarships
• Advice books aimed at targets
• Volunteer-run mentoring
programs
• Recruiting outreach
• Conferences or discussion
boards for marginalized groups
Diversity & Inclusion

17. Most work is aimed at changing behavior of
targets
Less work is aimed at changing behavior of
targeters & allies
Diversity & Inclusion

18. Targets:
• Directly benefit from change and are more self-
motivated
• Are often more aware of oppression
• Are often lower status and easier to tell what to do
• Are seen as the cause of the problem
Avoids confronting feelings of guilt in
privileged people
Changing Targets’ Behavior

19. Targeters:
• Have “something to lose” if their behavior has to
change
• Are able to ignore others’ oppression
• Are often higher status and harder to tell what to do
• Are good at deflecting blame… and backed up by
institutional inertia
Calls for change make powerful people feel
bad
Changing Targeters?

20. What this workshop is not
 A certification, an apology, or a "get-out-of-jail-free
card"
 Representing anyone's employer or giving legal
advice
 Time to discuss whether oppression exists, is bad,
should be stopped, etc.
http://geekfeminism.wikia.com
https://flic.kr/p/97JC
CC BY Mark Strozier

21. Format of the rest of the workshop
 Short guide to terminology
 Discussion guidelines
 Basics of ally skills
 Group discussion of real-world scenarios
 Wrap-up

22. Terminology
Using the right words is important
ally work
See your handout before each
scenario for details
https://flic.kr/p/86hhuk
CC BY Steve Johnson

23. What if I make a mistake?
Apologize, correct yourself, and
move on.

24. Exception to "don't use" list of terms
Members of any marginalized group
can agree to call themselves whatever
they want
But outsiders should not assume they
can use the same terms

25. While you're trying to help one group, don't be:
 sexist
 homophobic
 transphobic
 racist
 ableist
 classist
 ageist
 body-shaming
CC BY-SA Alan Levine https://flic.kr/p/9dgohA
 Don't describe people as unattractive, undesirable, etc. to mock them!

26. Let's talk about "political correctness"
 This is a dismissive, hurtful, rude term invented by racist, sexist,
homophobic people who are part of the right-wing political
establishment in the United States
 Don't use this term unless you are putting it in "air
putting it in "air quotes"

27. Basics of ally skills
 Be short, simple, firm
 Don't try to be funny
 Play for the audience
 Practice simple responses
 Pick your battles

28. Help us create a safer space
 You may leave or return at any time, for any reason, without explanation
 Do not record!
 This workshop is designed to be voluntary
 Please anonymize if you repeat sensitive stories
 Share at the level of people you just met at a conference

29. Awkward...

33. DREADED GROUP CHOOSING TIME
 Form groups of 4 - 6 people
 Groups that are more diverse have better discussions
 Changing groups at breaks is encouraged
 Say your name, your affiliation/role, and your pronouns
 If everyone in the group has the same pronouns, tell the instructor

34. Preparing for group discussion
Choose a gatekeeper to interrupt people who are
speaking too much and ask people who aren't
talking as much if they want to speak
Feel free to gate-keep the gatekeeper
Choose someone to report out, and rotate this
person each scenario
CC BY TANAKA Juuyoh (田中十洋)
https://flic.kr/p/bVnHL6

35. A few more tips for group discussion
Avoid rules-lawyering: "But what if there was some specific highly unlikely
circumstance in which this situation was not actually bad?"

36. At a meeting you run, a person with moderate proficiency in English
makes a suggestion, but no one picks up on it. Later on in the meeting,
a person with high proficiency in English makes the same suggestion
and is given credit for it.

37. Tip: Effective and just meetings
Good meetings have the following roles:
● Facilitator
● Timekeeper
● Notetaker
● Gatekeeper
https://frameshiftconsulting.com/speaking/#meeting

38. Who is speaking in your group?
Who is speaking most in your group?
Is someone having difficulty being heard?
Are there patterns related to gender, race, age, or anything else?
How do these discussions compare to ones you have in other contexts?

39. You are eating lunch in the staff break area when a group sits down near
you. One person comments loudly “If I ate that, I’d be as big as a house!”
A higher-weight colleague is sitting nearby and can clearly overhear.

40. Tip: Weight discrimination at work
 Higher weight people face workplace discrimination (particularly
women), regardless of ability to do the job
 Gaps in hiring, pay, evaluations, responsibilities, promotions
 Body size is falsely equated with virtue: self-control, hard worker, in
good health
 Policing others’ bodies is invasive and infantilizing

41. Tip: Weight discrimination at work
 “Fat talk/diet talk” is seen as bonding but creates a hostile environment
for other people
 Like talking about sex: Do it on your own time, with people who
consent freely
 Workplace “health initiatives” often discriminate against higher weight
and disabled employees
 Why are your private activities like what you eat and how you spend
your leisure time the business of your colleagues or employer?
 If you want to encourage a culture of joyful movement and body love,
focusing on weight is NOT the way to do it

42. At a conference, you get to the room for a panel you’re speaking on, and
notice that the room is arranged with a table and microphones for the
panelists on top of a raised stage. There is no ramp to the stage, and you
know one of your fellow panelists uses a wheelchair.

43. Tip: Unpaid Labor of the Marginalized
 Mentor other marginalized people
 Contribute to “cultural fairs,” history months, diversity initiatives, “special
issues”
 Appear at recruiting events (general and targeted) to “represent our
diversity”
 Also – be visible on site, in marketing materials, on social media, to
administration, Be a representative for your marginalized group (look
good, smile, don’t complain)

44. Tip: Unpaid Labor of the Marginalized
 Offer feedback/critiques of
processes, documents, programs,
etc.
 Identify, advocate for, and provide
solutions to access issues

45. Tip: Who “owns” a problem?
 Get used to noticing systemic problems
(access, bias, absence, etc.) that don’t
affect you personally
 Addressing these issues is an ongoing cost
to marginalized people

46. Be persistent & patient
 Often it takes multiple conversations with multiple people to solve a problem
 Don't let someone shame or manipulate you into acting against your values
 What is the power structure? Who can take action?
 The reaction is more likely to be positive than you think if you are acting as an
ally

47. Beware…

48. On a professional mailing list you belong to, a colleague who came out as
a trans woman a few months ago starts a discussion. In the response
thread, another person repeatedly mis-genders her by using incorrect
pronouns (e.g. “He tried to argue X…”) and the wrong name

49. Tip: Charles' Rules of Argument
1. Don't go looking for an argument
2. State your position once, speaking to the audience
3. Wait for absurd replies
4. Reply one more time to correct any misunderstandings of your first
statement
5. Do not reply again
6. Spend time doing something fun instead
http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Charles%27_Rules_of_Argument

50. Tip: Read Captain Awkward
Advice blog that answers questions on social interaction from an awkward,
geeky perspective
Great for "How do I get someone to stop doing something without
upsetting anyone?" type of questions (hint: someone is already upset)
http://captainawkward.com

51. An administrator at your institution has complained that a Black museum
educator was “speaking too loudly” on a recent tour, and made
“aggressive” remarks when they asked the educator to quiet down. The
administrator also complains that the educator was making “angry, racist”
remarks about a collection item they were describing.

52. Hint: it’s not the women (POC, etc.)
"When we analyzed a sample of performance evaluations of men and
women across three high-tech companies and a professional services firm,
we found that women consistently received less feedback tied to business
outcomes. [...] 76% of references to being "too aggressive" happened in
women’s reviews, versus 24% in men’s."
Shelley Correll and Caroline Simard, https://hbr.org/2016/04/research-vague-feedback-is-holding-women-back

53. Tip: Reframing
 Often people frame discussions or questions in such a way as to leave
out the context of systemic oppression
 Learn to recognize when this is happening (often a gut feeling of "this is
wrong") and refuse to accept it
 Widen the context until systemic oppression is included and then
restate with the new framing

54. Tone policing/The "tone argument"
When people speak up in support of oppressed groups, it makes people in
the dominant group feel guilty and sad
A common response is to ask the people speaking up to not “hurt the
feelings” of the dominant group
Often this uses the word "angry" and especially "tone"
http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Tone_argument

55. Tip: Bias interrupters
3 step process from UC Hastings WorkLife Law Center
1. Use metrics
2. Implement bias interrupters
3. Repeat as needed
Detailed list of bias interrupters for workplace systems:
http://biasinterrupters.org/

56. A woman who works in your organization frequently rides the elevator with
men who work for outside companies. She tells you that they frequently
make “jokes” which rely on sexual innuendo, or demeaning comments
about their wives and girlfriends.

57. Why talking about sex at work is harmful
Strong pressure to "be cool" about sex
Double standard for sex for men and women
Double standard for straight sex and gay sex
Some racist stereotypes are about sex or genitals
Sex talk => objectification & harassment of women

58. Why talking about reproduction at work is harmful
Fertility, pregnancy, adoption can be highly emotional
Assumes parents are cis and straight
"Family size" talk can be racial, ethnic & religious stereotyping
Take-away: Save talking about sex & reproduction for
reproduction for outside of work

59. "Benevolent sexism" is also harmful
Belief that women need to be protected implies that women are weaker,
childlike, and subservient
Belief that women are ethically better or more socially skilled implies that
men are expected to and can be excused for doing wrong or being rude
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambivalent_sexism

60. "Paradox" of tolerance
 A tolerant society must be intolerant of one thing: intolerance
 Support free speech by suppressing speech that undermines the foundation of
free speech
Advocating for the removal of rights (voting, life, bodily integrity,
bodily integrity, etc.) based on identity undermines free speech
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance

61. Your institution is hosting a controversial exhibit on immigration that is
resulting in a lot of phone calls from members of the public. Offensive
graffiti has been found in the exhibit. You are thinking about one of
your colleagues, who is Latinx, and wondering what if anything you
should say to them.

62. How to support colleagues
 When being an ally, don’t make it about
yourself and your feelings
 Make sure your expression of support doesn’t
come wrapped in a request to do emotional
labor
 “Ring Theory”: Comfort in, dump out
(http://tinyurl.com/ringtheory)

63. How to support colleagues
 Sincere, other-focused comfort (e.g. “I’m thinking of you)
 Offer specific help in an unobtrusive way
 Don’t derail discussions about the topic
 Ask permission before approaching management
 Donate money in ways that help

64. A person you manage has returned from parental leave. You are
discussing which projects to assign to people, including one that is in
the new parent’s area of expertise and requires more travel than usual.
A colleague says, “they won’t want to do all that travel with the baby.”

65. What Works for Women at Work
By Joan C. Williams and Rachel Dempsey
Four patterns of subtle bias, varying by race, ethnicity,
appearance, etc.
1. Prove-it-again
2. The Tightrope
3. The Maternal Wall
4. Tug-of-war

66. Your institution’s donors include a person who is known to cross
boundaries with people of a particular gender. In preparing for an
upcoming event, a coworker who is a member of the targeted gender
mentions that they are worried this donor is going to be inappropriate with
them during the event.

67. Tip: Collective action
 Share information widely, anonymously if necessary
 Connect with other people who want to fix this problem
 Shun and avoid the problem person
 “Gossip” is what we call networking when done by lower power people

68. Myths about alcohol and bad behavior
The immediate physiological effects of alcohol are:
● Loss of coordination
● Sleepiness
● Difficulty multi-tasking
Everything else (violence, sexual advances, rude comments) is voluntary
and under conscious control:
http://www.sirc.org/publik/drinking4.html

69. How to counter cultural messages about alcohol
Don't serve alcohol at all (surprisingly popular!)
Serve high quality non-alcoholic beverages
Serve at same stations with same prominence
More tips on serving alcohol in an inclusive manner, by Kara Sowles:
https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/alcohol-and-inclusivity-planning-tech-events-with-non-
tech-events-with-non-alcoholic-options

70. Reframe the discussion
Assumption: Our culture welcomes everyone
Reality: Culture gets created by the people who
got there first. It’s often code for “people like
Reframe: "Actually, we could benefit from being
more welcoming to different kinds of folks."

71. Advanced ally skills
 Set specific goals for yourself for next week/month/year
 Treat ally actions as bare minimum expectations
 Follow and support leaders from target groups
 Follow your discomfort: if something makes you feel bad, find out more and
find out more and understand why before reacting
 When you make a mistake, apologize, correct yourself, and move on

72. How to get the workshop
 Pay for someone to teach it
 Attend a public workshop
 Attend a train-the-trainers
 Companies teaching this workshop:
Google, Square, Slack, and Spotify
Credit: David Balliol, Thomas Bresson

73. Give yourself applause!
https://tinyurl.com/WMASW10-
21-18
Dr. Sheila Addison
drsaddison@gmail.com