102721, 940 PM Week Five Essay My Positionhttpsonli

10/27/21, 9:40 PM Week Five Essay: My Position
https://online.valenciacollege.edu/courses/123618/assignments/
3319768 1/2
Position Essay Rubric
Criteria Ratings Pts
Introduction/Thesis
Statement
10.0 pts
A: Well
developed
introduction,
providing an
engaging
hook.The thesis
clearly takes a
position.
Sentence
transitions are
smooth.
8.0 pts
B:The
introduction
provides a hook,
and the thesis
clearly takes a
position.
Sentence

transitions are
smooth.
6.0 pts
C: The
introduction
provides a
hook. The
thesis
statement
contains the
topic being
argued, but not
a clear position.
May lack fluid
sentence
transitions
4.0 pts
D: Thesis is
unclear or
misleading. Hook
is either missing
or unclear.
0.0 pts
F: The
introduction
does not
contain a thesis
statement or a
hook.
10.0
Body Paragraphs

20.0 pts
A: All of the
evidence and
examples are
specific,
relevant and
explanations
are given that
show how each
example
supports the
author's
position.
Paragraphs are
well-developed
and are divided
logically.
16.0 pts
B: Most of the
evidence and
examples are
specific,
relevant and
explanations are
given that show
how each
example
supports the
author's
position.
Paragraphs are
well-developed
and are divided
logically.

12.0 pts
C: Some of the
evidence and
examples are
specific and
relevant, while
others may be
redundant or
irrelevant.
Paragraphs
may need to be
developed
further and
some may need
to be divided
logically
8.0 pts
D: While a few
examples may be
used, paragraphs
are generally
lacking relevant
evidence, while
others may be
redundant or
irrelevant.
Paragraphs are
undeveloped and
may not be
divided logically.
0.0 pts
F: Ideas
presented in the

paragraphs
have little or
nothing to do
with the thesis,
and/or are
poorly
developed.
20.0
Overall
Organization
25.0 pts
A: Logical
progression of
details with a
clear and
effective order
that enhances
the argument as
presented in the
thesis
statement. The
essay provides
appropriate and
effective
transitions.
20.0 pts
B: Logical
progression of
details with a
clear and
effective order.
Transitions are

present, but
they do not
enhance the
overall
effectiveness of
the paragraph.
15.0 pts
C: Organization
is clear. Some
transitions are
present, while
others are
either
inappropriate or
missing.
10.0 pts
D: The flow of the
essay from detail
to detail is difficult
to understand or
implies that
important
information has
been left out.
0.0 pts
F: No
discernible
organization.
Transitions are
not present.
25.0

Total points: 100.0
10/27/21, 9:40 PM Week Five Essay: My Position
https://online.valenciacollege.edu/courses/123618/assignments/
3319768 2/2
Position Essay Rubric
Criteria Ratings Pts
Style (flow, tone,
word choice)
25.0 pts
A: Writing is
smooth, skillful,
and coherent.
Sentences are
strong and
expressive with
varied structure.
Consistent and
appropriate
tone, word
choices, and
transitions used
throughout the
essay.
20.0 pts
B: Writing is
clear and
sentences have
varied structure.

There is
consistent tone
and word choice
is appropriate
with fairly good
use of
transitions.
15.0 pts
C: Writing is
clear, but
sentences may
lack variety. The
tone is
inconsistent and
word choice,
while adequate,
could be better.
Transitions may
be missing a
few areas.
10.0 pts
D: Writing is often
unclear, and
sentences lack
variety. The tone
is inconsistent
and word choice
is often weak.
Transitions are
missing
throughout essay.
1.0 pts
F: Writing is

confusing and
hard to follow.
Contains
fragments
and/or run-on
sentences. The
tone and
purpose is
inconsistent and
difficult to
determine. The
word choice is
inadequate.
25.0
Mechanics
15.0 pts
A: No consistent
errors in
punctuation,
spelling,
grammar, or
capitalization.
12.0 pts
B: A few minor
consistent errors
in punctuation,
spelling,
grammar, or
capitalization,
but they do not
detract from the
overall meaning

and
effectiveness of
the paragraph.
11.0 pts
C: A few regular
errors in
punctuation,
grammar,
spelling, and
capitalization
that. while
distracting, the
meaning and
intent of the
paragraph can
still be
discerned.
8.0 pts
D: The overall
presentation of
the essay
displays a lack of
proofreading and
attention to detail.
While the essay
MIGHT be
readable, it is
uncomfortable
and
unprofessional.
0.0 pts
F Distracting
and major

errors in
grammar,
punctuation,
spelling, and
capitalization.
15.0
MLA format
5.0 pts
A: Perfect MLA
formatting;
paper is a
minimum of 800
words.
4.0 pts
B: 2-3 errors but
paper is
recognizable as
MLA; paper is a
minimum of 800
words.
2.0 pts
C: 4+ errors
and paper is
hard to
recognize as
MLA. Paper
less than 800
words.
1.0 pts
D: 5+ errors and

paper does not
show evidence of
MLA formatting,
though it is typed
clearly. Paper
less than 800
words.
0.0 pts
F: MLA
formatting not
evident at all.
Presentation
makes it difficult
to read. Paper
less than 600
words.
5.0
Total points: 100.0
Research Plan on Correctional Issues
Bryan Reitsma
Columbia Southern University
Introduction
The research aims at examining the deteriorating mental health
of prisoners and its impact in the rehabilitation process.
Some prisoners come out of prison as hardened criminals, others
try committing suicide while in prison, while others put their
life in danger as they try devising ways to escape from prison.
Research questions:

Why is prison causing mental challenges to prisoners instead of
helping crime offenders to change for the better?
What professional help prisoners should be offered to ensure
they sustain physical, mental, and emotional health despite
going massive restrictions and changes in life?
According to American Psychological Association (apa);
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/10/incarceration, over half of
prisoners in the United States have recorded to develop a mental
illness after imprisonment and cases have only become severe
as the jail term progresses. Many of the prisoners that
excessively bully others have proven to suffer from mental
challenges which compromise their mental ability and hence act
in the worst behavior they can think of (Armstrong, Winters, &
Jaggers, 2018). It is evident that prison environment has been
made unbearable even the work of correctional officers
becoming tough and demanding due to increasing mental cases
of prisoner.
2
Research Method
The applicable method of this research is quantitative
Quantitative research for this study is that it would help identify
the number of prisoners affected by mental conditions and the
number of those that never benefited from imprisonment time
allocated to them due to mental illness.
The method as well shows the number of those that have
succumbed because of mental issues such as depression.
To answer the question, the study would provide explanation
accompanied with figures to make it comprehensive
When conducting a research, one can make use of qualitative

methods in the case the information needed in descriptive in
nature. One can also make use of quantitative method in the
case statistical data is required to analyse the situation on the
ground. In this case, to make the situation clear and demonstrate
the importance of the issue, it is important to address the issue
in terms of numbers instead of descriptions only (Semenza, &
Grosholz, 2019). Moreover, even where data is present,
descriptions are also applied.
3
Approaches to be used
The research can engage prisoners through one-on-one
interviews and prison warders since they have a clear glimpse
of the issue.
The second approach is conducting surveys that would bring
people in one team and investigate the issue in an in-depth
manner.
The last approach is the use of literature review .
The first approach would help in gathering relevant and
uncompromised information and more so allows the research
team to carefully select participants so as to gather relevant and
reliable information (Semenza, & Grosholz, 2019).
There are a lot of real life case studies and news that have been
reported that can be used to address the issue from past cases.
This is important as the second approach would help in laying a
proper and reliable foundation on the issue since there is a lot
of news available about prisoners suffering from mental cases.
The last approach is the use of literature review where past
researches that addressed the same issue can be used to shed
light and support arguments raised in this research. Literature
review can also be used to demonstrate the validity of
arguments being shared currently.

4
Hypothesis
Null Hypothesis: The rate of mental health effect among
prisoners is not determined by gender or age. All prisoners are
vulnerable (Bartlett, & Hollins, 2018). Nevertheless, the rate of
female prisoners rates higher than the number of male prisoners
despite the number of male prisoners in all prisoners
superseding that of female.
The study would hence find out that despite all prisoners being
possible victims of mental health while in prison, women due to
the role they play in their families and society are more affected
than men more so by General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) among
many others.
In the case the study happens to proceeds, a lot of observations,
investigations, and interrogations will take place. This is among
prisoners and wardens guarding the prisoners and it is expected
that the study would show that the challenges and hard life that
comes with imprisonment is a major effect to the mental health
of prisoners. Prison life whether one is in remand or already
serving a sentence, the uncertainties that comes with the life
exposes one to overthink and worry about one-self and close
relatives.
5
Incorporation of Ethics
The study would ensure that the target participants are first
briefed about the study in order to understand the concepts and
the role they are expected to role.
The second way is by ensuring that the participants are engaged
in an ethical manner where there rights would be protected.
The third way would be through using collected data for the
right purposes and also granting the participants a chance to get

to know the results of the research.
The study is a professional study that would ensure that ethics
are upheld and applied in the best way possible. There are
various ways that ethics would be incorporated in the proposed
study. One of these ways is by first seeking consent from the
target participants.
It is only those that would volunteer to take part that would be
issue with the consent form for signing before they can be
allowed to take an active part.
With the second way, it means that no single interviews or
interrogations would be done as long as the participant is not
willing to share the information
6
Standard Institutional Review Board
As a researcher, I would expect the standard institution review
board to make improvement in the research proposal by
highlighting some areas that could be omitted and would go a
long way in gathering detailed information about the research.
from the knowledge and experience they have in research, they
can share insights on do’s and don’ts thereby making the
process more professional and ethical a study that would meet
the institution’s standards in terms of quality.
The standard institutional review board is an important body
when it comes to going through a professional and ethical study
7
Use of Literature Review
There are lots of reports across the world that prisoners serving

their various jail terms in varying correctional facilities have
been suffering intensely with the major impact being on their
mental faculty.
Some available literatures shares critical insights that should be
used in making the right amendments in order to make prisoners
a place for rehabilitation and positive behavior change instead
of the current times place of isolation, loneliness, and torture.
The American Psychological Association (apa) have been vocal
on the issue raising alarm that a lot of challenges continue to
face prisoners leading to their deteriorating mental health while
as only limited actions have been taken by responsible bodies to
contain the situation. The issue has attracted attention of
massive researchers with intentions of understanding the
reasons behind prisoners deteriorating mental health, the impact
that situation has in them and possible amicable solutions.
8
Use of Literature Review Cont’d
Life in prison is completely different from an ordinary free life
that people are normally used to live as free citizens.
Prison is a place with total freedom and privacy taken away
(MacDonald, 2018).
With increased rates of crime in the society, prisons faces
overcrowding challenge which is the basis of other issues
leading to deteriorating mental health of prisoners.
Mental health of prisoners remains completely threatened
(Semenza & Grosholz, 2019)
As a result of high number of prisoners, the overall focus is
diverted to how they feed and fit in the society. It is up to the
prisoners to fight for their space and adapt to the hard life. The
challenge is that with high number of prisoners, the situations
easily get out of hard. Some hardened criminals take advantage

of the situation through bullying other prisoners to make their
life comfortable (MacDonald, 2018).
Thousands of prisoners hence live in constant fear and worry of
the bullies that the prison warders do not even have the
intention of taming. At the same time, squeezed environment
makes the prisoners to start regretting their action and current
lifestyle. The fact that they are not issued any form of
counselling and support, they start getting mentally and
physically affected.
Prisoners health deterioration results from the challenges of
justice system where before judgment, individuals are
remanded. After judgment they are sent to the prison where
reality strikes. Separation from families, and friends attracts
loneliness and feeling of uncertainty which attracts stress tat
gradually piles up inot depression (Lee & Cain, 2020)
9
Use of Literature Review Cont’d
The feeling f loneliness is more common and has a higher
impact on female prisoners as compared to male prisoners (Lee
& Cain, 2020).
Prison is a place marked with strict rules and regulations that
must be observed by all without compromise
it is possible to solve the mental issues in prisons through
making the environment habitable, constant mental assessment
among prisoners, having guidance and counselling programs,
and ensuring that issues like overcrowding and malpractices
like bullying are addressed (Stringer, 2019)
the hard labor, limited resting time, poor and unbalanced meals;
and sometimes harsh punishments like being kept in dark
isolated tiny room for days for those in violation. Many of the
prisoners find the lifestyle completely unhealthy for them
leading to depression and other mental condition (Stoliker, &

Galli, 2019).
The challenge is that being taken in for medical attention while
in prison is a lengthy process and this denies the prisoners and
wardens a chance to take action whenever they detect one of the
prisoners have started developing mental challenges.
It is a fact stringer’s article has not provided clear information
on how all these recommendations can be put in place but have
proven how the implementation would solve the negative
impacts emanating from deteriorating mental health of
prisoners.
10
Data Analysis
Data will be collected with the use of:
Interviews: The interview will be structured with clarity on
gathering information concerning the deteriorating mental
health of prisoner and the impact it has on the rehabilitation
process America.
Questionnaire: The questions will be standardized and will
follow a scheme of order to obtain information on correctional
issues of mental health of prisoners in the rehabilitation
process. (Clark & Vealé, 2018)
A questionnaire will involve a form that has a series of written
or printed multiple choice questions that the informants must
mark. An interview will incorporate a formal dialogue in which
both the interviewer and the respondent participate in a
question-and-answer session. (Moser & Korstjens, 2018)
11
Data Sampling and Distribution
Only those with mental illnesses or substance use disorders will

be selected, and only combined jail and prison prevalence
estimates will be reported.
The samples will be chosen based on substance use, excluding
the high incidence of substance use disorders co-occurring with
mental diseases in jailed people.
The reason for this is that such a sample would not yield
accurate estimates of mental diseases in general.
Men, women, the general prison population, and several
particular prison populations are all included in the target
sample. The method of case ascertainment (e.g., through case
files or a specific screening or diagnostic equipment),
diagnostic classification system, and current vs lifetime
prevalence are all factors to consider.
12
Data Analysis
Statistics software to be used for the analysis will be SPSS
Statistical Package for the Social Sciences is a complicated
statistical data analysis program used by a variety of scholars.
SPSS includes procedures for analyzing, transforming, and
producing a distinctive pattern between various data variables.
Alternatively, the Microsoft excel spreadsheet might be used for
the recording and analysis of the statistical data. (Duan, Ge, &
Feng, 2020)
References
Armstrong, E. R., Winters, D. E., & Jaggers, J. W. (2018).
Mental health in prison populations: Policy, practice, and
challenges.
Bartlett, A., & Hollins, S. (2018). Challenges and mental health
needs of women in prison. The British Journal of
Psychiatry, 212(3), 134-136.
Duan, Y., Ge, Y., & Feng, Y. (2020). Pricing and personal data

collection strategies of online platforms in the face of privacy
concerns. Electronic Commerce Research, 1-21.
Haney, C. (2017). “Madness” and penal confinement: Some
observations on mental illness and prison pain. Punishment &
Society, 19(3), 310-326.
Lee, L. H., & Cain, D. S. (2020). Mental Health Policy for
Justice-Involved Persons: Exploring History, Perspectives, and
Models in the United States. Best Practices in Mental
Health, 16(2), 55-68.
MacDonald, M. (2018). Overcrowding and its impact on prison
conditions and health. International journal of prisoner health.
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/10/incarceration#:~:text=Wh
ile%20at%20least%20half%20of,or%20schizophrenia%2C%20th
e%20report%20finds.
Moser, A., & Korstjens, I. (2018). Series: Practical guidance to
qualitative research. Part 3: Sampling, data collection and
analysis. European journal of general practice, 24(1), 9-18.
Semenza, D. C., & Grosholz, J. M. (2019). Mental and physical
health in prison: How co-occurring conditions influence inmate
misconduct. Health & justice, 7(1), 1-12.
Stoliker, B. E., & Galli, P. M. (2019). An examination of mental
health and psychiatric care among older prisoners in the United
States. Victims & Offenders, 14(4), 480-509.
Stringer, H. (2019). Improving mental health for
inmates. Monitor on Psychology, 50(3), 46.
Clark & Vealé, 2018
Argument Paper, MLA Style (Hammond)
Jamal Hammond

Professor Paschal
English 102
17 March XXXX
Performance Enhancement through Biotechnology
Has No Place in Sports
The debate over athletes’ use of performance-enhancing
substances is getting more complicated as biotechnologies such
as gene therapy become a reality. The availability of these new
methods of boosting performance will force us to decide what
we
value most in sports—displays of physical excellence developed
through hard work or victory at all costs. For centuries,
spectators
and athletes have cherished the tradition of fairness in sports.
While sports competition is, of course, largely about winning, it
is
also about the means by which a player or team wins. Athletes
who
use any type of biotechnology give themselves an unfair
advantage

and disrupt the sense of fair play, and they should be banned
from
competition.
Researchers are experimenting with techniques that could
manipulate an athlete’s genetic code to build stronger muscles
or
increase endurance. Searching for cures for diseases like
Parkinson’s
and muscular dystrophy, scientists at the University of
Pennsylvania
have created “Schwarzenegger mice,” rodents that grew larger -
than-normal muscles after receiving injections with a gene that
stimulates growth protein. The researchers also found that a
combination of gene manipulation and exercise led to a 35%
increase in the strength of rats’ leg muscles (Lamb 13).
Hammond 1
Opening sentences
provide background
for Hammond’s
thesis.
Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and
effective writing.

Thesis states the
main point.
Hammond estab-
lishes his credibility
by summarizing
medical research.
Source: Diana Hacker (Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2007).
This paper has been updated to follow the style guidelines in the
MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers,
7th ed. (2009).
Source is cited in
MLA style.
Such therapies are breakthroughs for humans suffering from
muscular diseases; for healthy athletes, they could mean new
world
records in sports involving speed and endurance —but at what
cost to the integrity of athletic competition? The International
Olympic Committee’s World Anti-Doping Agency has become
so
alarmed about the possible effects of new gene technology on
athletic competition that it has banned the use of gene therapies

and urged researchers to devise a test for detecting genetic
modification (Lamb 13).
Some bioethicists argue that this next wave of performance
enhancement is an acceptable and unavoidable feature of
competition. As Dr. Andy Miah, who supports the regulated use
of
gene therapies in sports, claims, “The idea of the naturally
perfect
athlete is romantic nonsense. . . . An athlete achieves what he or
she achieves through all sorts of means—technology,
sponsorship,
support and so on” (qtd. in Rudebeck). Miah, in fact, sees
athletes’
imminent turn to genetic modification as “merely a continuation
of the way sport works; it allows us to create more
extraordinary
performances” (Rudebeck). Miah’s approval of “extraordinary
performances” as the goal of competition reflects our culture’s
tendency to demand and reward new heights of athletic
achievement. The problem is that achievement nowadays
increasingly results from biological and high-tech intervention

rather than strictly from hard work.
Better equipment, such as aerodynamic bicycles and fiberglass
poles for pole vaulting, have made it possible for athletes to
record achievements unthinkable a generation ago. But athletes
Hammond 2
“Qtd. in” is used
for an indirect
source: words
quoted in another
source.
Hammond uses
specific evidence
to support his
thesis.
Opposing views
are presented
fairly.
Hammond counters
opposing arguments.
themselves must put forth the physical effort of training and
practice—they must still build their skills—even in the murky

area
of legal and illegal drug use (Jenkins D11). There is a
difference
between the use of state-of-the-art equipment and drugs and the
modification of the body itself. Athletes who use medical
technology
to alter their bodies can bypass the hard work of training by
taking on the powers of a machine. If they set new records this
way, we lose the opportunity to witness sports as a spectacle of
human effort and are left marveling at scientific advances,
which
have little relation to the athletic tradition of fair play.
Such a tradition has long defined athletic competition.
Sports rely on equal conditions to ensure fair play, from
regulations
that demand similar equipment to referees who evenhandedly
apply the rules to all participants. If the rules that guarantee an
even playing field are violated, competitors and spectators alike
are deprived of a sound basis of comparison on which to judge
athletic effort and accomplishment. When major league baseball

rules call for solid-wood bats, the player who uses a corked bat
enhances his hitting statistics at the expense of players who use
regulation equipment. When Ben Johnson tested positive for
steroids after setting a world record in the 100-meter dash in the
1988 Olympics, his “achievement” devalued the intense training
that
his competitors had undergone to prepare for the event—and the
International Olympic Committee responded by stripping
Johnson of
his medal and his world record. Likewise, athletes who use gene
therapy to alter their bodies and enhance their performance will
create an uneven playing field.
Hammond 3
Hammond develops
the thesis.
Transition moves
from the writer’s
main argument to
specific examples.

If we let athletes alter their bodies through biotechnolo gy, we
might as well dispense with the human element altogether.
Instead
of watching the 100-meter dash to see who the fastest runner in
the world is, we might just as well watch the sprinters mount
motorcycles and race across the finish line. The absurdity of
such an
example, however, points to the damage that we will do to
sports if
we allow these therapies. Thomas Murray, chair of the ethics
advisory
panel for the World Anti-Doping Agency, says he hopes, not too
optimistically, for an “alternative future . . . where we still find
meaning in great performances as an alchemy of two factors,
natural
talents . . . and virtues” (qtd. in Jenkins D11).
Unless we are willing to organize separate sporting events
and leagues—an Olympics, say, for athletes who have opted for
a
boost from the test tube and another for athletes who have
chosen
to keep their bodies natural—we should ask from our athletes

that
they dazzle us less with extraordinary performance and more
with
the fruits of their hard work.
Hammond 4
Conclusion echoes
the thesis without
dully repeating it.
A vivid example
helps the writer
make his point.
Works Cited
Jenkins, Sally. “The First Item in a Pandora’s Box of Moral
Ambiguities.” Washington Post 4 Dec. 2004: D11. Print.
Lamb, Gregory M. “Will Gene-Altered Athletes Kill Sports?”
Christian Science Monitor 23 Aug. 2004: 12-13. Print.
Rudebeck, Clare. “The Eyes Have It.” Independent [London].
Independent News and Media, 27 Apr. 2005. Web.
28 Feb. 2006.

Hammond 5
Works cited page
uses MLA style.
Argument Paper, MLA Style (Zhang)
Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and
effective writing.
Source: Hacker Handbooks (Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s,
2010, 2007).
This paper follows the style guidelines in the MLA Handbook
for Writers of Research Papers, 7th ed. (2009).
Zhang 1
Amy Zhang
Professor Swain
English 101
23 October XXXX
Slow Down and Eat Better
If you drive on any highway in the United States, you’ll
find fast-food restaurants at every exit and service area. If you
walk through any supermarket, you’ll see prepared foods that

say “make it in minutes” and “ready to serve.” According to an
article by James Bone on the TimesOnline Web site, only one-
third of Americans cook meals from scratch, meaning with fresh
ingredients. Bone also writes that Americans spend only thirty
minutes cooking dinner, compared with 2½ hours in the 1960s.
And in his book Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser claims that
one-quarter of Americans eat in a fast-food restaurant each day
(3). Why are Americans eating so much fast food? The answer
is
simple: speed is more important than quality. While Americans
may be attracted to food that is fast and easy, they are missing
the benefits of slowing down. In fact, Americans’ obsession
with
fast food is hurting not only their health but also the quality of
their lives.
The main reason that Americans are getting takeout food
and heating prepared meals is obvious: they don’t have enough
time. In more than two-thirds of families in the United States,
two people are working (Bone). People with demanding work

schedules have little time for food shopping and cooking.
10/10_A
Zhang opens with
general observa-
tions to attract
readers’ interest.
Zhang states a
clear thesis at the
end of the opening
paragraph.
2010, 2007).
Zhang 2
A clear topic
sentence helps
guide readers.
An effective
transition links
the ideas in this
paragraph to those
in the previous
paragraph.
Zhang uses a
signal phrase and a
parenthetical

citation for facts
that support her
thesis.
Another reason that mealtime has become so short is that
many younger adults grew up in a fast-food culture. In the past
fifteen years, cell phones, the Internet, and e-mail have
increased
the speed of everyday communication. At the same time,
microwave ovens, drive-through restaurants, and frozen dinners
have changed the way Americans eat. Many people now like to
eat
quickly, even in their cars or in front of the television, instead
of
taking time to cook a meal and sit at the table. In this culture of
instant gratification, people don’t think food is important
enough
to spend much time on.
Even though Americans think that they are saving time and
improving their lives by eating precooked and prepackaged
food,
their obsession with fast food is causing the quality of their
lives

to go down. First, their health is suffering. As most people
know,
fast foods and frozen meals are generally less healthy than
foods
made at home. They have lots of preservatives, fat, sugar, and
salt to hide the fact that they are not fresh. If people do not eat
fresh foods that provide vitamins and minerals, they may
become
tired and sick, and they may miss out on opportunities to enjoy
their lives.
Another serious health problem is obesity. There is an
obesity epidemic in the United States today, especially with
young people, and it is related to the way people are eating.
According to Schlosser, “The rate of obesity among American
children is twice as high as it was in the late 1970s” (240).
Obesity can lead to many health problems, including diabetes,
heart disease, and cancer. The United States Department of
2010, 2007).

Zhang 3
Health and Human Services notes that “deaths due to poor diet
and physical inactivity increased 33 percent” in the 1990s, and
it
cites a study that concluded that “poor diet and physical
inactivity
may soon overtake tobacco as the leading cause of death” in the
United States. If fast food causes people to become obese, and
then obesity causes them to get sick or die, fast food cannot be
considered an “improvement” in Americans’ lives.
In addition to causing health problems, fast food hurts
people’s relationships with their friends and families. In an
online
interview, John Robbins, author of Diet for a New America and
The
Food Revolution, comments on the importance of mealtime:
Throughout history, eating has been a way of bringing
people together. It’s how parents stay in touch with
what’s going on in their kids’ lives. When people break
bread together, it’s an act of peacemaking, an act of

good will. . . . Dining together can be a deep biological
and sacred experience. When we eat, we are connected
to all of life. It’s a phenomenon found in every culture
in the world, except ours. I see the McDonaldization
of our food supply as the annihilation of our true
relationship to life. (qtd. in Lee)
While most Americans will not be able to cook full, fresh
meals every day, they can begin to improve the quality of their
lives by buying fresh foods when they can and by cooking fresh
food at least sometimes. For example, people can shop at the
farmers’ market for fresh local produce instead of buying
canned
or frozen vegetables. They will have a chance to buy foods with
No page number is
available for this
online source.
A long quotation
(more than four
lines) is indented;
quotation marks
are omitted. An
ellipsis mark
indicates that some

words from the
source have been
left out.
Zhang notes
the limitations
of her argument
but maintains
her position.
Zhang offers
readers some
suggestions for
better eating.
2010, 2007).
Zhang 4
more nutrients at the same time that they get to know people in
their community.
Also, if people slow down to make food with their friends or
family, they can enjoy the benefits of good nutrition while they
are building stronger relationships. An organization called Slow
Food, which describes itself as “an international organization
whose aim is to protect the pleasures of the table from the

homogenization of modern fast food and life,” encourages
readers
of its Web site to make pasta from scratch once in a while.
Friends
and family can cook meals together so one person isn’t doing all
the work. And people can try to cook family recipes from their
parents or grandparents.
Even though Americans may think they are saving time and
improving their lives by eating fast food, they will actually
have
healthier and more enjoyable lives if they change the way they
cook and eat. Making dinner from scratch is much healthier than
getting burgers and fries from a fast-food restaurant. And
people
get more than just a full stomach—they get more time with
family and friends and a good feeling from creating something
healthy.
The conclusion
reminds readers of
the essay’s main
point.

2010, 2007).
Zhang 5
Works Cited
Bone, James. “Good Home Cooking—Right off the Assembly
Line.” TimesOnline. Times Newspapers, 27 Mar. 2006. Web.
9 Oct. 2008.
Lee, Virginia. “The Common Ground Interview with John
Robbins.”
The Food Revolution. John Robbins, 2002. Web. 18 Oct. 2008.
Schlosser, Eric. Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All -
American
Meal. Boston: Houghton, 2001. Print.
Slow Food. Slowfood.com. Slow Food, n.d. Web. 18 Oct. 2008.
United States. Dept. of Health and Human Services. “Citing
‘Dangerous Increase’ in Deaths, HHS Launches New Strategies
against Overweight Epidemic.” HHS.gov. US Dept. of Health
and Human Services, 10 Mar. 2004. Web. 9 Oct. 2008.
The works cited list
provides references

for all the sources
Zhang uses in her
paper.

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