Sally catches up with a friend, reminiscing about how her cat Tom is getting older and slower. She reflects on how her daughter Tamara has grown from a sweet little girl to a teenager, making Sally feel old. Though the changes are hard, Sally acknowledges that time continues to pass for all.

1. Hi! It’s you! And it’s me too! That means it’s us! Wow!
…Did that distract you from the fact that it’s been an awful long
time since the last update? And that today’s cover has nothing to
do with anything? No?
Well, it was worth a try. Alas, I have far less time to Sim now,
since my work schedule has changed. You wouldn’t think an extra
hour a day would make a difference, but it really does.
Our story, which is Already in Progress, will resume after this
brief message.

2. Today’s episode of Goldberg & Silent Lady is brought to you by
“Puddles of Blood” by gwillewyn.
(in one of those rapid undertones used for the “small print” in all
the best commercials) “Puddles of Blood” is also available in “Oil
Slick” and “Green Goo.” Despite manufacturer’s claims to the
contrary, this puddle does not mop up, at least not on Macs.
Available from Mod The Sims. Basegame compatible. gwillewyn
is in no way aware of this endorsement.
And now, let’s rejoin our story: Already in Progress…

3. Now, I remember that I promised you a look at Oliver once he was
presentable. Well, he is now more than presentable, thanks to
dustfinger’s shirts and Phaenoh’s facial hair, both available from
Mod The Sims. I thought I’d take a nice family portrait to share
with everybody.
From left: Chant’s mother, Oliver, Chant, Oakapple, and Chant’s
auntie.

4. The garden is looking particularly nice just now, with lots of
happy, healthy plants. Chant, Saigon, and Fantine do most of the
yard work, since they are always up for being out in the sun.
The garden signs are also available from Mod The Sims, and the
minute I saw them, I knew that I needed them.
Not for aesthetic reasons, but because I have been known to forget
what’s where and end up planting an entire garden in peppers.

5. The business is also doing very well. Chant’s mother recently
earned her Gold Sales badge, and has taken over Restocking to
work on that badge instead. The job keeps her busy, as the farm
stand makes a thousand simoleons a play session -- or would, if I
didn’t keep reinvesting the profits in making the place look nicer --
and is now at Level Four.

6. Chant has stopped Restocking for the moment and is working on
his Sales skills instead. Cousin Phoebe -- daughter of Oakapple’s
brother Old Adam -- seems to be swayed by his enthusiasm.
Phoebe comes from Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop
Challenge, available in the “Officially Wacky Challenges” forum
on Boolprop. If you haven’t checked it out yet, I highly
recommend it. [/shameless self-promotion]

7. Oakapple is still a failure as a Grilled Cheese Sim. He could quite
readily keep himself in platinum, but left on Free Will, he chooses
to make chili con carne instead of grilled cheese.
Or hamburgers.
Or chef salad.
Anything but grilled cheese, really.

8. He and Oliver are still made of win, though.
OLIVER: Oh, here’s a recipe for you: lemon cream cheese and
mozzarella with spinach and tomato on a whole wheat wrap.
OAKAPPLE: I like pasteurized… processed cheese food… on
white bread.
OLIVER: Well, it gets really boring. And constipating. You should
try something else.
OAKAPPLE: Why are we… still talking about… this instead of…
kissing?
In their own one-Nice-point-between-them way.

9. MURAKAME
Hey buddy. You busy?
MURAKAME
Would you mind coming down here for a bit? I could
use your opinion on something.

10. Buttercup and Albert suffered sartorially after I pulled my clothing
equality mod last rotation. Albert got the red Family Fun Stuff
outfit, which is just plain out of character. Poor Buttercup ended up
with Olive Specter’s dress, which is really just cruel and unusual.
Here you can see their new outfits.
“But wait!” (I hear you cry.) “Who is that in Jo’s arms?”

11. Watch closely.
JOESPHINE: Aaaaaaaaaaugh! Aaaaaugh aaaaaugh aaaaaaugh!
Eeeeeeeeyowwwwww!
PHOENIX: Jo, keep it down! Everyone else is still -- Ezz! Is it the
baby?
JOESPHINE: I will kiiiiiiiill you if I survive thiiiiiiis! (begins
Lamaze-style breathing, far too fast)

12. And thus Penelope Wren joined the family.
I was thinking of naming her “Jenny Wren,” but that’s just too
twee. On the other hand, “Penny” rhymes with “Jenny” and isn’t
twee at all. Penelope it is.

13. The rotation opened with this lady letting herself into the house
and proceeding to have opinions on the residents.
JAQUELINE BRANSFIELD: Esme, is he fugly!
Jacqueline, you may recall, was once a stylist at Louise’s business,
although she was terrible at it and had anger management issues.
She is also a member of the Garden Club, and all I can really say
about her is that it’s a pity the asylum’s already full.
The first asylum chapter is up, by the way. [/shameless self-
promotion]

14. BUTTERCUP: I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing in
my house, but I recommend that you leave. I would hate to have to
call my husband’s client list.
JAQUELINE BRANSFIELD (sarcastically): Why? Who’s on it?
Ernie the Spoon?
BUTTERCUP: Not now that he’s institutionalized, no.
JACQUELINE BRANSFIELD: …I’ll just see myself out, shall I?

15. (Albert actually got fired that same afternoon for refusing to break
the law -- why bother when there are so many nice loopholes that
are perfectly legal? -- but we won’t tell Ms. Bransfield, okay?)

16. Fortunately, Buttercup’s business is still doing just fine.

17. Skye is doing well in school, and has started to make friends with
Bryan Littledragon. They’re about the same age, I think, and they
get along pretty well. They decided to go swimming after school
even though it was really too cold out.
SKYE (calls): Timle!
BRYAN (anxiously): Don’t tell her where I am, okay, Mrs.
Shankel? (calls) Torneau!
BUTTERCUP: I don’t think I need to say anything, kiddo.
Buttercup is lifeguarding, of course.

18. And Phoenix, like many Romance Sims, is a great parent.
PHOENIX: Are you ready for some skin-to-skin time with Daddy,
sweetheart?
PENELOPE: blup
“Skin-to-skin time” is holding a baby against the parent’s bare
chest. It has multiple health benefits for the baby and encourages
bonding.* Some modern fathers engage in this practice, and it’s
okay for anyone close to the baby to do so.
*Source: Toronto, Ontario. “Holding your baby skin-to-skin” (2011), available
from http://www.toronto.ca/health/breastfeeding/skin_to_skin.html, accessed
20 May 2012.

19. GOLDBERG
What’s with the wings?
MURAKAME
Exactly.
GOLDBERG
They’re supposed to go floppy after death. Are you
sure this one’s dead?
MURAKAME
Well, alive people tend to have their blood on the
inside. And they usually have heads.

20. Charlie and Louise are doing quite well. They generally keep
themselves amused and happy, and are still full of enthusiasm
about pretty well everything.

21. And yes, Charlie still enjoys a nice bath two or three times a day.
They have even upgraded the tub for her.

22. There’s really only one problem, and that is the business.
Louise’s cashier was Lexi Rossi, who you may or may not
remember, either from back in the day or from the spin-off story
Snap!. (Although the latter is unlikely, as I don’t think anyone
reads it.) At any rate, Lexi has Moved On, and Louise has hired a
replacement for her, as well as for the crazy former stylist.

23. The problem is that Louise neglected to assign either woman to her
new job. That means that when customers go to the lot, there is
nobody to help them find things and nobody to accept payment for
their purchases.

24. Needless to say, the customers are not very happy about this.

25. It got pretty ridiculous, actually.

26. The good news is that Louise was able to assign the two slackers to
new jobs.
The bad news is that she then had to close the business and ring up
the stragglers herself, since the family bank balance was at a
whopping $18.
If your family is ever too rich, buy a business, hire a lot of
employees, and send your other playables there to shop. End of
problem, guaranteed.

27. Louise spent the remainder of the rotation digging for treasure. The
total haul was two rocks, one bone, one map of Three Lakes, and
one busted water main.
Good thing Charlie got promoted, or they wouldn’t be able to
afford groceries…

28. NERGUI
Sorry. I can’t help you.
GOLDBERG
But your girlfriend has been murdered!
NERGUI
It’s not murder if you’re a snitch.

29. Eddie picked up the flu somewhere, although I don’t remember
where… if I ever knew in the first place.
Naturally, he stayed home from work so as to not get other people
sick too. I bought him a chess table, and he spent the day happily
playing right hand against left, except for when he had to run to the
bathroom.

30. Celeste had a touch of the flu as well, but she recovered quickly
and spent most of her time doing outdoor-type things so as to not
become reinfected.

31. Eddie didn’t recover for just over twenty-four hours -- an
especially long time -- and so Celeste’s birthday was a very
subdued affair.
EDGAR: Celeste, you look amazing!
CELESTE: I know. I always do. What are you doing out of bed?
EDGAR: But I wanted to share your birthday with you! And
besides, it’s boring being in bed all day. (daringly) At least when
I’m alone…
CELESTE: Not until your fever breaks, bub. Back to bed, and I’ll
bring you a mug of tea and some ibuprofen.

32. I rarely get this reaction to the traditional post-birthday makeover.
“Meh” or even a good old-fashioned raspberry are much more
common.
Obviously, Celeste is the only one of my Sims who has any taste.

33. Also worth noting is that Eddie and Celeste’s house was visited by
a burglar.
Although Eddie is Mr. Way Too Nice, he isn’t Mr. Idiot. The
burglar alarms went off immediately, and the cops were there
within seconds.

34. Unfortunately, Officer Micelli appears to be related to the
gardener.
OFFICER ABHIJEET MICELLI: What are these things?
They’re stairs.
OFFICER MICELLI: What do I do with them?
You go up and down them to get from one floor of the house to
another.
OFFICER MICELLI (wonderingly): Whatever will they think of
next?

35. Fortunately, Officer Stupid -- I mean Officer Micelli -- is also
apparently Officer Ten Body Skill Points.
OFFICER MICELLI (severely): You shouldn’t break into people’s
houses and take things. It’s against the law. And it’s not nice.
These people are going to be very unhappy now.

36. Which was quite true, but perhaps not in the way Officer Micelli
anticipated.
EDGAR: Nothing was taken, and nobody was hurt. A needlessly
punitive system of justice does no service to anyone and doesn’t
address the underlying motivations and many ways in which
society has failed this young lady. Really, Your Honor, I think that
leniency is the best course. (anxiously) What do you think? Will
the judge go for it?
CELESTE (fondly): You really are way too nice for your own
good, Eddie.

37. GOLDBERG
I don’t get it. Everybody knows that she knew
something. Everybody knows what it was she knew,
even. And knowing what she knew is apparently okay if
you keep your mouth shut. But what did she know? And
who did she tell it to?

38. Okay, I admit to being just a teeny bit bored with Dante and
Samantha. They are just so darn functional! Sam is knocking those
Toymaking badges out like there’s no tomorrow.

39. Sure, Dante got demoted from Investigative Journalist, but he
always gets demoted from that level -- it doesn’t matter what
option I pick on the chance card. I think he just doesn’t want to do
investigative journalism, but he’s far too Nice to turn down a
promotion when his supervisors seem so happy to be able to give it
to him.

40. Mr. Fuzzypants has become an Elder, but just like his sister and
brother, you really can’t tell by looking.
And you’d never know that this family has nearly $93,000 in liquid
assets, either, would you? That wall has been unfinished for a very
long time.

41. As has this entire room. (Seen here while the ghost of Jack
Rackham was possessing the lamp.) Frankly, the whole “middle-
of-nowhere” challenge is no longer challenging for this family,
since the only thing they’re lacking are wall and floor coverings. I
started decorating this room for Perry and Amy -- and their
granddaughter is now an Elder! At this rate, by the time I finish
their room, their granddaughter will be a grandmother, if not dead.

42. Plus, the house is just too large. This one floor would be too big for
two Elders and a cat, and there are two more floors just like it. I
think it’s time to move on.

43. Fortunately, Don’s sister provides excellent motivation.

44. DANTE: So, what would you think about moving in with my
sister?
SAMANTHA: In that little place? Why don’t they just come here?
DANTE: Actually, I was thinking of somewhere else that would be
more “just right.” Not “too big” or “too small.” It would be good
for both of us, I think. And it would help them out financially.
SAMANTHA: We’re not going to take on their debt, are we?
DANTE: Of course not. Just being somewhere the right size will
help them out a lot with that.
SAMANTHA: Well, I guess…
We’ll see how well that works out next time.

45. PUDDIN TAME
What are you askin’ me for, man? I don’t make the
stuff. I don’t make it. I just sell it. It’s not
illegal. It isn’t. Not illegal. Nuh-uh. Can’t get me
on that.
GOLDBERG
So if you don’t make it, where to you get your stock?
PUDDIN TAME
Ain’t tellin’.

46. Hi Sally! Er… Is that such a good idea?
SALLY: What’s wrong with splashing in puddles? I have dry
socks upstairs.
Yes, but during a thunderstorm?
SALLY: Meh, I’ll be fine.
…Why don’t you come inside and tell me how life’s been treating
you?
SALLY: Okay.

47. SALLY (V.O.): So Tom got older, of course. (sigh) I’ve had him
since I was Tamara’s age; it’s hard to think of him as old now.
I’m sorry. He still looks good.
SALLY (V.O.): Oh, sure! He looks great, and he does the same
stuff as ever. Just more slowly now. And he’s more inclined to curl
up in your lap for a snooze now.
That’s always nice.
SALLY (V.O.): Yeah. But time keeps on going, I guess.

48. SALLY (V.O.): Take Tamara, for instance. (reminiscently) It
seems like only yesterday she was a sweet little girl. Kissing her
daddy goodnight…

49. SALLY (V.O.): …And falling on her butt every time I took her
skating.
She’s not sweet anymore?
SALLY (V.O.): Oh, she’s still as sweet as she ever was.

50. SALLY (V.O.): But she’s not little anymore.
She’s very pretty, though. She looks like her mother.
SALLY (V.O.): Now you’re just trying to make me feel better.
It’s true!
SALLY (V.O.): Well, that’s as may be. But now I’m old enough to
have a teenage daughter. How did that happen?
We all get there eventually…

51. MURAKAME
It’s a list of addresses. With a sticky note pointing
to one of them. (reads) “Start here. S.L.” “S.L.”?
GOLDBERG
“Silent Lady.”
MURAKAME gives GOLDBERG a funny look; GOLDBERG
shrugs.
GOLDBERG
What? I don’t know her name, and I can’t call her
“hey you” forever. Which one did she mark?

52. Now that Bryan is in school, Adam has gotten a job as an EMT. Its
main attraction are the hours, which keep him busy while his wife
and son are out of the house.

53. Sure, the cat is still home, but she recently turned Elder and sleeps
even more than she used to.

54. But it’s all good. The evenings are for spending time with the
family: helping your son raise his Fun meter…

55. …helping him with his homework…

56. …and attempting to convince his mother that she wants another
one just like him.
ADAM: Oh, come on! Just one more?
AMY: What’s your LifeTime Want, Adam?
ADAM (promptly): Have Six Grandchildren. Oh, crap.
AMY: That one’s up to Bryan, so the shop is closed. Unless you
just want some plain old woohoo…
ADAM: I’ll take it!

57. Amy is doing well at work, and has been promoted -- although
since the uniform is the same, you can’t really tell. And she doesn’t
have to have any more babies either.
But somehow, she’s managed to get herself stuck in both the chair
and the table several times already. Once, she was stuck in both
chairs and the table, all at the same time! (I still have no idea how
she managed that one.) Last time this kept happening, I had to
completely redo the dining room. We’ll have to wait and see, I
suppose.

58. GOLDBERG
We just busted a major manufacturer. How’d you know it
was that warehouse?
SILENT LADY smiles.
GOLDBERG
No, really, how’d you know?
SILENT LADY’s smile grows broader.
GOLDBERG
Come on, you can tell me! What tipped you off?
SILENT LADY turns and leaves, grinning ear to ear.

59. Tirtha may have decided to leave the business to Dmitri, and may
have begun training him on the necessary functions, but he’s away
at college now and somebody has to run the register.
Unfortunately for the customers, that somebody is still Tirtha.
TIRTHA: Um… Is it this key? (presses it) Uh-oh. I think I just
charged you again for that…

60. But some things can’t wait until Dmitri comes back from college.
TIRTHA: Trixie, we’ve been good friends for a long time, right?
TRIXIE: Of course we have! Why?
TIRTHA: Because I need you to do something important for me.
TRIXIE: As long as it’s not loaning you my husband for grown-up
purposes, you’ve got it.
TIRTHA: Frammit!

61. TIRTHA: But seriously, will you please hold the flower shop in
trust for Dmitri?
TRIXIE: Sure, but --
TIRTHA: Great! Here’s the deed. I’ve filled his name in. And I’ll
pass along my wholesale contacts to you for him too.
TRIXIE: Okay, but --
TIRTHA: Whatever it is you’re going to ask, ask it fast. We don’t
have much time.
TRIXIE: What do you mean, we don’t have much time? What’s
going to happen?

62. TIRTHA (V.O.): At our age? Just about anything, at any time.
GRIM REAPER: M.s. ..ill…? ..er.’s so…ne .ho’. rea… ..pa..ent
t. .ee .ou.

63. Tirtha (Couderc) Phillips, 80 years old. Tirtha was the twin sister
of Nirel (Couderc) Littledragon, if any of you remember him, but
she outlived him by a good long while. She was mostly quiet,
notoriously gullible, and a great double act with Trixie. In fact,
they were so much of a double act, she forgot which child was hers
and which wasn’t. (Along with everyone else.) Both Ariadene and
Dmitri are surely mourning her now.
Rest in peace, Tirtha.

64. TRIXIE: Leonid, I need you to take the flower shop in trust for
Dmitri. And I’ll pass along the wholesale contacts to you, too.
LEONID: Zaika, why are you doing this? (concernedly) You are
not goink to be doing anythink drastic, are you?
TRIXIE: Don’t be ridiculous! But I’m older than Tirtha, and
anything could happen at any time.
LEONID: But you drank wery large amounts of Elixir of Life! You
are having years yet! And you are not going to have any more
babies -- I could get you more…
TRIXIE: Better safe than sorry. Now, are you going to let me pass
on this wholesale stuff or not?
LEONID (meekly): Yes, zaika.

65. Fortunately, Trixie’s predictions were wrong. The only thing that
happened for the remainder of the rotation was her missing the car
pool and having to take the family car to work.
When the family car is this nice, that’s not exactly a hardship.
Which is as good a stopping place as any, yes?

66. Notes, etc.
Zaika means “bunny” in Russian, and is a term of endearment for
one’s wife or daughter. Russian vocabulary courtesy of Yousei,
who writes I’ll Be There for You, available on Boolprop.
The Grim Reaper said “Mrs. Phillips? There’s someone who’s
really impatient to see you.”

67. The Goldberg and Silent Lady sections used a lot of custom content and
poseboxes. All custom content is from Mod The Sims unless otherwise
indicated. In addition to the pool of blood advertised at the beginning, I used:
“Timeless Office” set by jgwoods
“Condemned” décor set by mustluvcatz
“Hacked Coat Hook” by Mary-Lou and Numenor
Fox ears and tail by Atreya
“Custom Modeling Poses Hack V2 w/Facial Overlays” by decorgal21572
Multiple game animation boxes by Jaydee from www.jd-movies.com
“Aziraphale” hair by Ambular
“Iridescent Wings” by Lucia Carlota
Age conversions of clothing by extremely talented people at MTS who really
deserve to have me remember their names…