UoL Mentoring training, by Elizabeth Cornish

1. Mentoring Skills

2. Mentoring is usually a relationship between people of different
statuses. The mentor is normally older or more experienced than
the mentee.
Mentoring is used to help people through times of change and
transition.
Mentoring is a way for two parties to share their experiences with
one another, benefiting both parties.
Mentoring is a learning process for both parties. You will learn
about yourself, your mentee’s, and about relationships.

3. Rules & Maintaining
Guidelines Contact
Encouraging Managing
Participation Meetings

5. Encouraging Participation
As a mentor, your role is to facilitate. This means encouraging your group
members to participate in discussion and activities to aid their
development and transition to UK life and education.
How can you encourage
participation?
By developing three important
skills we will cover:
•Questioning
•Listening
•Using Body Language

6. Questioning
There is a skill to asking the
right question. Correct
questioning is important in
encouraging involvement and
building an honest and open
relationship with your mentee.
Asking embarrassing questions
can have a negative effect on
the relationship.

7. How can I ask the right question?
The two main types of question are:
Closed Questions
Open Questions
Closed questions require a specific
Open questions are aimed at provoking
answer, usually answered by a yes/no
an extended response. They require the
or a single word. These types of
speaker to answer in the way they see
questions are limiting.
fit, with as much or as little information
as they feel comfortable disclosing.
They can be useful to:
•Verify information
Open questions enable you to:
•Confirm understanding of facts
•Establish a rapport and put the other
•Confirm agreement or commitment
person at ease
•Get a decision where there are only
•Encourage uninhibited feedback
two alternatives
•Help to explore opinions in more detail
•Create involvement and commitment
Example: Have you been to Wales?
•Check our understanding more
comprehensively
Hint: You should avoid asking too many
closed questions in succession because
Example: What do you enjoy about
this can be wearing and intimidating for
England?
the respondent.

8. Other types of questions to consider:
Reflective Questioning Justifying Questions
This is a method of rephrasing what These questions provide an
has been said and reflecting it back opportunity for further explanation of
to the other person. This can be reasons, attitudes or feelings. They
useful in testing your own can provide useful responses to a
understanding of what has been question, but they can also come
said, and it can encourage the other across as confrontational especially if
person to talk more. delivered in a challenging way.
Example: ‘So what you mean is …, am Example: ‘What makes you so angry?’
I correct?’ ‘You say this but are you sure?’
Hypothetical Questions
These are questions that pose a
situation or suggestion. These can be Probing Questions
useful if you want to introduce a new These questions build upon a previous
idea or concept, check that answer to gain more information or
implications of an earlier answer are clarification about what the speaker has
understood, or challenge a response said. These are often the most difficult
without causing offence. types of questions to ask and can be a
mix of open and closed questions.
Example: ‘What if…?’

9. Tips for questioning: Things to avoid:
•Develop your own style. Tone of •Avoid asking long-winded
voice, body language and the speed questions, they will probably be
you ask a question can all effect misunderstood.
how someone reacts to your •Don’t ask leading or loaded
question. questions; they usually only
•Try to ask clear, concise and demonstrate what you know rather
specific questions. than what the respondent knows or
•Pause to give time for responses thinks.
when you ask a question- 10 •Don’t use complex inappropriate
second rule. language; you simply want to be
•Avoid interrupting students understood.
answers. •Don’t assume the answer or jump
•Consider answers before to the conclusion that what you
responding. hear first is the complete answer.
•Check your understanding by
summarising and using reflective
questions.

10. Listening
‘There is an old saying
that God gave us two
eyes, two ears but only
one mouth so that we
could look and listen
four times as much as
we speak.’ (Parsloe 121)

11. There are three types of listening:
Apparent Listening:
This is the kind of
Peripheral Listening: listening we do most of
This is done on a the time. We look as if
subconscious level. For we are listening but in
example, you may be in a fact we are not really
busy restaurant talking to concentrating.
the people you are sitting
with, while also picking up
snippets of conversation
from another table. Active Listening:
This is the type of
listening we should be
doing. This involves
really concentrating on
not only what is being
said but how and why
it is being said.

12. Why is active listening important?
•It will help create good relationships with
the people you are listening to.
•It means you don’t miss any important
information.
Active listening is not easy! We are all guilty for switching off in
conversations at some point. It is important that you
concentrate on what someone is saying. Don’t try and
formulate an answer while another person is speaking. Focus
on listening.

13. How do you actively listen?
Response
From student
Interpretation
Respond What have you
heard?
Reaction
(Planning)
Based on Understanding
understanding and
evaluation you plan
a response Evaluation
What do you do
with this
information?

14. A process for efficient listening:
Stage 1: Carefully • Choose a quiet room or area free from the distraction of other people and
noise.
Select the • Arrange seating to avoid physical barriers such as a desk, but don’t sit too
close.
location • Remove or ignore any other distractions and shut the door if possible.
• Look interested and maintain eye contact without staring.
Stage 2: Create • Be patient- allow the person time to say all they want to say (within
reason).
the right • Always use their first name.
• Maintain a relaxed posture.
atmosphere • Be encouraging by leaning forward, nodding, putting your head to one
side and smiling when appropriate.
• Make listening noises like ‘Mmm’, ‘Yes’, ‘I see’.
Stage 3: Practise • Pause before responding to indicate you are digesting what has been said.
• Keep an open mind- do not prejudge or interrupt.
helpful listening • Be sensitive to mood, facial expressions and body movements to
understand the full meaning of what is being said.
behaviour • Use questioning techniques to seek more information, summarise and
check your understanding.

15. Understanding Body Language
Non-verbal communication can be just as, if
not more important than verbal
communication. Body language can be a good
indicator of people’s emotions about a
situation. It can also give you more information
than the person is actually verbally
communicating.
Being aware of your own body language as
well as your students’ body language is
important in creating a relaxed atmosphere.

16. Key Non-verbal signs:
Boredom can be Empathy can be
signalled by picking signalled by smiles,
imaginary fluff from open and positive
sleeves, pulling at gestures, standing or
ear, stifled yawning or Nervousness can be sitting close, eye
gazing around the signalled by contact or nodding
room. downcast eyes, hand and tilting the head.
over the mouth or
frequently touching
the face, shifting
Anger or aggression can weight or fidgeting.
A defensive or distrusting
be signalled by a rigid
attitude can be signalled
or tense body
if someone sits with their
posture, staring
crossed leg towards you
eyes, clenched fists or
while a willingness to
clasped hands, tightly
trust can be signalled if
folded arms, foot
the crossed leg is away
tapping and finger
from you.
pointing.

17. Be aware though! Body language is interpreted
differently in different cultures:
Islamic cultures
generally don’t
approve of any
touching between
genders whereas
this is more
In Western Cultures direct eye acceptable in the
contact is seen as positive. UK.
Meanwhile, Arabic cultures Many
make prolonged eye contact Mediterranean
because they believe this cultures exaggerate
shows interest and helps them grief or sadness
understand the truthfulness of while most
a person. Whereas in American men hide
Japan, Africa and parts of Latin grief or sorrow.
America it is viewed as
disrespectful to make direct
eye contact.

18. Managing Meetings
Hopefully you don’t come up
against any problems with your
group, but it is handy to know
how to deal with a problem if one
does arise.
Think about your responses to the
following questions:
•What will you do if your group
members don’t get on?
•What will you do if there is a
clash in opinion?
•What if one of your group
members is very overpowering
and doesn’t let anyone else
speak?

19. Intervention and challenging
Remember:
Protect students from interruptions, laughter If you are having
and louder voices. Don’t be afraid to step in if a problems with your
member is being overpowering, disrespectful to group or you feel
another member, or is bullying. uncomfortable, speak
to the coordinator.
If a conversation is getting
out of hand, try to take
control of it without If your group members are
interrupting, so it moves not getting on. Listen to their
forward and any differences problem and suggest ways it
are settled without conflict- could be resolved. Try to
Example: ‘Can we take stock remain objective and non-
and reflect on what you judgemental.
have said’.

20. How will you manage your group?
Although mentoring is more about facilitating
discussion and encouraging development than
leading, you should think about how you will
manage your sessions/meetings.
•How will you welcome people to your session?
•Will you get the students to introduce
themselves to each other? If so, how?
•How can you make the session feel
relaxed, enjoyable ad friendly?
•Will you negotiate ground rules for sessions?
•Will you use an ‘ice-breaker’?
•What will you do if students expect you to
teach them?
•How will you ensure that individual members
communicate with one another?
•Will you have anything prepared to discuss in
the first session?
From Transition Mentors -UCL

21. Commitment
• Make sure you make it to your
appointments on time and
prioritise your students.
• Reply to any emails, texts or
phone calls as promptly as
possible.
• Try not to agree to doing
anything you think you cannot
manage. This will lead to
disappointing your students
which could be damaging to
the relationship.

22. Maintaining Contact
Part of your role as a mentor is to make
contact with your students regularly to
make sure they are OK, and to check
whether they need anything.
You should arrange to meet with your
students once a week, but if a student
does not come to a meeting make sure
you contact them via phone or email to
follow up with them.
You might be nervous about contacting
your students, but they will be more
nervous about contacting you! Don’t be
afraid to send them a quick text to remind
them of a meeting or event, or just to let
them know you’re still there if they need
you.

23. Contact Details
It is suggested that you provide
your students with your contact
details (mobile number and email)
at your first meeting and make it
clear to them they can contact you
Your Contact if they need to.
Details Here
Don’t give up on anyone. If
someone isn’t responding there
could be a perfectly viable reason
for it. Even if they don’t come to
one meeting, invite them to the
next.
However, if a student is repeatedly
not responding/not attending
meetings let the Coordinator
know.