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1. Explode Your Charisma

2. One of the rules of "polite language" is
to never put anybody on the spot.

3. This is the reason we use the second
conditional when making polite
requests.

4. In case you forgot grammar school, the
"second conditional" is an "if-then"
form of a question that uses the past
tense, and "would," as it only speaks
to hypothetical situations.

5. Like, "If I saw a UFO, I would take a
picture," meaning that it's not likely,
but if it DID happen, I'd take a picture.

6. When we talk about things that are
likely, we use the first conditional.

7. Present tense and "will."

8. If it rains, I will get wet.

9. The reason we use hypothetical
language when asking polite
questions, is because it puts it off into
"pretend land."

10. For example, if I wanted to ask a
coworker to open the window, I could
say it not politely, "will you open the
window?" or politely, "Would you
open the window?"

11. If it's in the "will" form, it feels a lot
more "on the spot."

12. When starting conversations with
strangers, it's important to start off
with simple statements and questions
that also don't make them feel "on the
spot."

13. An easy way to do this is with "pacing
statements."

14. Say something about the environment
that is verifiably true.

15. Something that they have to agree
with. Something that's easy to agree
with.

16. The main purpose of any ice breaker is
to ease into a conversation.

17. Not to show off how clever you are or
to impress them with your wit.

18. Once you get them talking, and used
to you, you can then begin to peel
back the onion layers and ask more
penetrating questions.

19. Questions that will get them excited to
talk to you.

20. Questions that will get them thinking
in terms of their ideal future.

21. Start off easy, go slowly and within ten
or twenty minutes they'll be sharing
with you their biggest dreams and
goals and visions.

22. Not only that, but they'll also be
seeing YOU through that filter you'll be
helping them create.

23. Of course, this does take practice, but
if you start practicing today, pretty
soon you'll be a social super star,
making everybody feel fantastic
whenever you're around.

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