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2. Sometimes we feel pretty good about
ourselves, other times we don't.

3. While everybody's different, we all
have common areas where we're most
likely to feel "in the zone" or "in our
element."

4. For most of us, that's whenever we're
doing something familiar, something
that we've done well in the past.

5. If you've been playing the piano and
doing recitals since you were in grade
school, for example, playing a medium
difficult piece in front of strangers is
probably no big deal.

6. Other people would be terrified of
sitting down at the piano in a hotel
lobby and playing "chopsticks."

7. Once I was watching this TV show with
an old roommate of mine.

8. It was this guy trying to break some
record with the Rubik's Cube.

9. My roommate told me he could NEVER
perform like that in front of people,
even if it was something he did very
well.

10. He said all that attention and focus on
him would make it impossible for him
to perform.

11. This is also pretty common.

12. Something you're good at, but you've
never really done it in front of others.

13. This can be anything from cooking to
typing to balancing a broom on your
nose.

14. Most of us feel a lot more pressure,
and a lot less confident, when we're
the center of social attention.

15. Even the guy in the example above
who's comfortable playing the piano in
front of others might not feel so
comfortable giving a speech or riding a
unicycle while juggling in front of
others, or even walking up to and
talking to strangers.

16. There's something about being at the
center of social attention that makes
most of us shake in our boots.

17. There are basically two ways of getting
over this fear.

18. One is content based, one is
structurally based.

19. The content way is like the guy with
the piano.

20. Just practice whatever skill you want
to practice, and get plenty of practice
doing it in front of others.

21. You can do this with pretty much any
skill.

22. If you can find a way to practice that
skill in front of others, you'll do pretty
good.

23. Except it generally won't translate into
other skills that need to be done in
front of others.

24. Playing the piano in front of others
won't help you become a better
speaker.

25. Unless you attack this from a structural
level.

26. Instead of simply focusing on any
particular skill, just focus on feeling a
general sense of confidence in any
social group, especially unknown social
groups.

27. This is the great thing about our
brains.

28. It's very good at generalizing.

29. Once you learn to tie on pair of shoes,
you can tie all the shoes on Earth.

30. So when you learn to simply be
confident in social situations, anything
you choose to do socially (create
relationships, make sales, juggle on a
unicycle) will seem easy and familiar.

31. mindpersuasion.com/frame-control/