How children deal with the lost of their mother and how teachers can help. bereavement counseling

1. Loss grief and bereavement counseling
Teachers Information Session: How can
we help?
3/31/2015Tanecia Stevens 4th year BA G&C1
Effects of Death on children: Losing
a Mother

2. What is loss (Death)
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 Loss: This is the feeling of grief after losing of
someone or something of value.
 Death: Death is defined as the cessation of all
vital functions of the body including the heartbeat,
brain activity (including the brain stem), and
breathing.

3. What Mother Represents
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 The person who gave
birth: Life source
 Life support
 Head of the house
 The provider of
physical and
psychological needs
 Only source of
security

4. Ways child can lose his/her
mother
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 Accidental death
 Perlonged or Acute illness
 Homicide
 Suicide
 Childs birth
 Abandonment
 Sudden mental illness

5. Terms To Describe lost of The mother
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 Maternal Orphant
 Mother-less
 Maternal Deprivation

6. How the child feels?
3/31/2015Tanecia Stevens 4th year BA G&C6
 Sadness , anger, guilt and confusion,
accompanied by the grieving process. These are:
1. Denial: Disbelief or thinks she is sleeping.
2. Anger/Blaming: Rage and blame others
3. Bargaining: An ultimate promise if she comes
back.
4. Depression: Numbness, loss of appetite, shuts
out others, unable to function.
5. Acceptance: This can take months or years for
some children.

7. Behaviours to expect
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 Behavioral patterns may
change with losing a mother.
Some expected are:
 Irritable
 Crying with Temper
tantrums
 Eating habits may change
 Stomach aches
 Headaches

8. Behaviours cont.
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 Reversion to baby habits (thumb sucking, comfort
blanket etc.).
 They may suddenly be afraid of the dark, suffer
periods of sadness, anger, anxiety.

9. How can teacher help the child?
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 Never have child believe you don’t care.
 Listen carefully to what the children say about
things. Sometimes their grief is not obvious.
 If the children are very young you may not realize
that they are suffering badly, but in a different
way, from the loss.
 Try to encourage children to express their grief. It
may be by drawing pictures of their mother; it may
be by talking about death.

10. Teacher’s help continue
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 Home visit
 Encourage class participation; don’t allow child to
feel left out because mother is dead.
 If other children wants to, you can allowed to
participate at the funeral (with permission)
 Provide love and emotional support.
 Be a role model
 Make sure children understand that all sickness
does not end in death. Fears and fantasies
should be dealt with.

11. When to refer the child?
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 Teachers as soon as you know that the child’s
mother dies you must refer the child to the
guidance counselor or school psychologist
because they are specialized in that area. You will
help the child in whatever way you can but you
must be careful because some children may
become attached or tries to use you to replace
their mothers. If behaviors persist or get out of
control the guidance counselor or school
psychologist will refer to the appropriate area of
specialist.

12. What does the child needs?
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 These children need a secure, stable
environment.
 Try to keep to the normal routine.
 They will need attention and love.
 Children need to know that death is nothing like
sleeping.

13. Inform the father of caregiver
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 Tell the father or the present caregiver to contact
the child's principal, day care supervisor or
school teacher so they can be alert to any
problems facing the child.
 If worrying behavior or distress persists get
professional help and support. Some fathers or
relatives will just say the child is missing the
mother and allow situation to escalate into bigger
problems.
 Children need to know that death is nothing like
sleeping. The think they are helping to tell the
mommy is sleeping.

14. References
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 Human Development and Family Science
www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife
 Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
http://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html