1. Symbols are Arbitrary and Ambiguous
• Words have different meanings in different
cultures
• Meanings of words change over time
• What they mean isn’t clear cut
• People have different understandings of words

2. Symbols are Abstract
• Not concrete or tangible
• “Cat” is not literally “A Cat”

3. Meanings Of Language Is Subjective
• Constructing meaning is symbolic
• Meanings of words are never absolute

4. Language Is Rule-Guided
• Being verbal is guided by generally understood
rules
• Communication rules: shared understanding
of what communication means
• Regulative rules specify when, where and with
whom you talk with about certain things.
• Constructive Rules say how to interpret diff.
kind of communication

5. Punctuation shapes meaning
• Helps define when interaction ends and starts
• Demand – withdraw Pattern:
– One person wants to talk intimately while the
other person avoids it
– Causes the demander to feel misunderstood

6. Symbolic Abilities
• The world is full of meaning and ideas

7. A Language Defines
• Language Shapes Perception
– Labeling will make you overlook other aspects
• Language Can Totalize
– Totalize is when we perceive one label is who
someone is
• Totaling is defined by a single aspect
• Stereotyping are multiple aspects of a group

8. Language:
• Affects relationships
– Pos. or neg. difference
• Language Reflects and Shapes Perception
– Things we like: focus on the positive, downplay
flaws and vice versa
• Language can be loaded
– Strongly influences meanings

9. Guidelines for Improving Verbal
Communication
• Engage in Dual-perspective
– Being person-centered to see their
side/perspective
– Use both your own and others perspective
• Own your Feelings and Thoughts
– Understand that the feeling is yours
– Blaming others for your feelings dismisses
personal responses

10. I language vs You language
• I language takes responsibility, You blames
others
• I language is more descriptive
• You language is accusatory and abstract
• I language provides concrete descriptions of
behaviors we dislike w/o directly placing
blame

11. • I language causes people to not be defensive
• You language can be effective when used as
praise
• I language is more honest
• I language is more empowering

12. Respect others Feelings
• Effective communicators don’t argue or
dispute people’s thoughts and feelings
• Don’t attempt to mind read

13. Strive for Accuracy and Clarity
• Be aware of Levels of Abstraction
– A consciousness of levels of abstraction improves
communication
• Abstract language allows us to generalize
• Abstract words work when both parties have
concrete knowledge of what is being
discussed
• Abstract can lead to misunderstanding when
talking about change

14. Qualify Language
• Assists in clear communication
• Qualify generalizations and descriptions
• Static Evaluation: assessment that says
something is unchanging or fixed
• Indexing: A reminder that our evaluations only
apply during certain circumstances

15. Language Organizes Perceptions
• The category we put someone in organizes our
perception of words

16. Language Allows Abstract Thought
• Abstract thoughts: Justice, Integrity, Love
• Furniture is concrete, the idea of furniture is
abstract

18. Language can Stereotype
• Abstract can distort thinking
– Stereotyping: Generalizing a group
– Classifying based on perceptions and overlook
differences (blue collar workers, athletes)
• Generalizing creates efficient cognitive thinking
– Placing people in categories is a tool for thinking,
but is not objective

19. Language Allows Hypothetical Thought
• We can think beyond concrete situations
– Hypothetical thought uses symbols
– Symbolize to remember and reflect on ideas
• We live in 3 dimensions of time
– Present is infused with out past and future
– Past and future affect our communication
• We can foster personal growth
– Hypothetical thinking helps us grow (present: college
future: degree)

20. Language Allows Self Reflection
• 2 Aspects to the self:
– I: Spontaneous, creative self
• Acts impulsively from inner needs and desires
– Me: Socially conscious self or the “I moderator”
• Me analyzed the I to self reflect

21. Self Reflection Allows Communication
Monitoring and to Manage our Image
• Monitor ourselves and adjust communication
to be effective communicators
• We work hard to be perceived in certain ways

22. Some sort of fucking conclusion I
guess
• The end