Advising and Supporting

1. Resident Assistant Training:
Conflict Resolution
Created by: Paige Guardiola, Jordan
Thompson and Ying Yan

2. 8:30 AM: Welcome breakfast available
9:00 AM: Learning Objectives/Icebreaker
9:20 AM: Conflict Introduction
9:40 AM: Conflict Mediation/
De-Escalation Presentation
10:10 AM: Break
10:25 AM: Video
10:45 AM: Brief Assessment
11:00 AM: Lunch
Image: https://www.pitara.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2002/12/old-analogue-clocks.jpg
Morning Training Schedule

3. 12:30 PM: Check-In
12:45 PM: Conflict in Res. Life
1:15 PM: Behind Closed Doors
3:15 PM: Break
3:30 PM: Behind Closed Doors
Debrief
3:55 PM: Writing Unbiased Reports
4:25 PM: Teambuilding
4:45 PM: Assessment & Wrap Up
5:00 PM: Dinner
Image: https://www.pitara.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2002/12/old-analogue-clocks.jpg
Afternoon Training Schedule

4. Students will be able to:
● Recognize the appropriate verbal and nonverbal language to resolve
a conflict in the residence halls.
● Demonstrate how to handle conflict on-call by participating in a series
of “Behind Closed Doors” roleplay.
● Determine the difference between a biased and unbiased incident
report following this training.
Learning Objectives

5. Ice Breaker: Move your Feet
● Stand in a circle with one person in the
middle
● The person in the middle will ask their peers
to “move your feet” after they list a fact,
hobby, interest, etc. about themselves
● If the fact applies to you, switch places with
another person who identifies with that fact,
hobby, interest, etc. in the circle
● The person left standing without a place in
the circle starts the next round
● Examples: “Move your feet if you’re from
New England,”....if you have a sibling,” “....if
your favorite color is red,” etc.

6. ● Think back to the first conflict you can remember being in
either when someone confronted you, or you confronted
them.
○ What can you recall from the situation? What did you feel in that
moment?
○ Was the experience positive, negative, or neutral? Why?
● Keep this in mind as we continue to think about conflict
and how to mediate or de-escalate it in an appropriate
manner.
Conflict Discussion Activity

7. Conflict
Mediation and
De-Escalation

8. ● Some topics we will cover include:
○ Human interaction
○ Conflict Escalator
○ Effective Language
○ Types of Language
○ Short discussion
○ Confronting Behaviors
○ Empathy
Adapted from presentations by Alicia Lewis and Lee Brossoit
Conflict Mediation/De-Escalation

9. As told by George J. Thompson, PhD, in his book “Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of
Persuasion”:
● People feel the need to be respected.
● People would rather be asked than be told.
● People have a desire to know the ‘why’.
● People prefer to have options over demands and threats.
● People want to be given a second chance.
The Truths of Human Interaction

10. ● If not dealt with, conflict can escalate to dangerous levels. There is a typical
pattern to this escalation:
○ Situation
○ Embarrassed
○ Angry
○ Raised Voice
○ Screaming
○ Threatened
○ Physical
○ Big Trouble
● So how can we avoid this escalation before things reach dangerous levels?
Utilizing effective conflict resolution skills!
Conflict Escalator

11. ● I, We, & You
○ “I” statements are particularly useful when communicating something that
could be perceived negatively (i.e. I felt hurt when…).
○ When attempting to gain assistance from someone, or when you need to
work together utilizing “we” or “us” statements is most effective (i.e. It
would be great if we could meet to discuss…).
○ Lastly, when communicating something positive utilize “you” statements
(i.e. You’re really great at…).
Effective Language

12. ● Work to omit negative, judgmental language and tone
from your communications with others.
○ i.e. “you’re incredibly loud, very disruptive, totally wasted, being stupid,
etc”.
○ Try reframing things more positively: “I can see you’re upset about this,
but if you just agree to provide your ID and dispose of any alcohol in the
room we won’t have to call the pro-staff member on duty.”
Effective Language

13. Conflict Escalator
Conflict Escalator
● What are you doing? vs. I noticed that you removed a decoration
from the bulletin board.
● Why did you do that? vs. Help me understand the situation.
● You can’t do that. vs. We ask people to not burn candles in their
room as it’s a fire hazard.
● I can’t believe you did that. vs. I was surprised when I saw that . . .
● Calm down. vs. I can see that you are upset.
● Be rational. vs. Help me understand.
● I understand. vs. I want to help you.
Natural vs. Tactful Language

14. Does anyone have any examples of natural vs
tactful language they have used?
Image: http://www.meritbrass.com/mbleadfree/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/question.jpg
Question

15. ● What they are doing may be inappropriate or violating
policies, but it is important to remember that this does not
make them “bad” people. It does, however, provide an
opportunity to correct behavior and teach a lesson.
● Example:
○ Instead of saying “____, you’re keeping people awake by playing loud music”.
○ Try saying, “____, it is against community policy to play loud music after 11:00pm
because _____.”
Confront Behaviors, Not People

16. 1. Empathy does not mean that you agree with or condone
what the person has done or said, it means that you are
able to view the situation from their perspective.
● “I can see that you are upset…”
2. When you show empathy it can aid in gaining the other
person’s respect, cooperation, and help to absorb tension.
The Importance of Empathy

17. As told by George J. Thompson in Verbal Judo:
1. Allow the person to say what they want as long as they do what you
tell them.
● Focus on their behavior not their words.
● Though easier said than done, keep in mind that upset people often do
not mean what they say so don’t take it to heart.
2. Always go for a win/win
● They can have the last word, if you get the last action (their compliance).
You both “win”.
3. It is important to treat people with respect, even if you don’t approve
of their actions, even if they are not respecting you.
The Three Principles for Handling Combativeness

18. Questions or Clarifications?
Image: http://www.thebriancook.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/question1.jpg

19. Image from: https://salemnet.vo.llnwd.net/media/cms/CROSSCARDS/15344-take-a-break-cat.jpg
Break

20. Video

21. ● What is the focal point of the conflict?
● When you were a college student, did you encounter this
kind of conflict? What did you think at that time?
● How do you feel about what the RA did? Please give your
comment.
● Now, as a RA, when you meet this, what will you do to
handle the conflict?
Thinking Questions

22. ● On one side of the notecard:
○ Please name two new concepts or skills that you took away from this
morning session.
● On the other side:
○ Please write one concept or question you are still wondering about and
need clarification on.
● We will revisit these questions and comments after lunch
Brief Assessment

23. Image: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGGJ0g1UwAA3Lbm.jpg
Lunch

24. Image: http://haydonlearningblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/crop635w_college-choice-questions2.jpg
Check-In

25. Responding to
Conflicts On-
call

26. ● Why are you confronting the situation?
○ What did you observe or receive a call about? What
policy or community standard is potentially being
violated?
● What is the ideal outcome?
Step One: Assess

27. ● Always knock and explain why you need to enter.
● Make sure to introduce yourself and that they know you
are a Resident Assistant.
Step Two: Approach

28. ● State why you are there and be specific:
○ “I am here because when I was passing by the room I
heard bottles clinking and someone saying ‘Drink!
Drink!” as opposed to simply “Are you drinking in
here?”
● This satisfies the human truth of a desire to know the
‘why’ that we spoke about earlier today.
Step Three: Explain

29. ● Ask for what you need (compliance) and again, be
specific!
○ “Before I can leave, I’ll need everyone’s IDs…”
● If the situation necessitates, call in additional resources
(Prostaff, Campus Police, etc).
Step Four: Ask

30. ● Before you leave, let the residents know what the next
steps will be (incident report, conduct meeting, etc).
Step Five: Close

31. Behind Closed
Doors

32. ● Split into two groups:
○ One group will be Resident Assistants responding to incident
○ Second group will be individuals acting as residents that RAs are
responding to
● Utilize the skills learned thus far about conflict mediation
and de-escalation
● Professional staff will let you know what you did well and
what you can improve on
Behind Closed Doors Explained

33. ● Four behind closed doors scenarios dealing with:
○ Roommate conflict
○ Marijuana in the residence hall
○ Alcohol in the residence hall
○ Bias related conflict
● In the interest of time, we will run through one of these
exercises with you today!
Behind Closed Doors

34. Image from: https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2016/05/18/635992012554577559-567276485_takeabreak.jpg
Break

35. Debrief Questions:
● In what ways did the BCD activity challenge you?
● Were you surprised by anything during this exercise?
● What was something you learned about handling conflict
from this activity?
● Are there any lingering questions about handling conflict
on call?
Behind Closed Doors Debrief

36. Introduction to
an Unbiased
Incident Report

37. ● A document that is written to inform individuals
of events that impact a student or community
on-campus
● Define “unbiased”
○ “Free from all prejudice and favoritism”
● Do’s and Don’ts of writing an unbiased
incident report
Definition from: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unbiased
Incident Report definition adapted from:
http://www.oneskyservices.org/files/downloads/Incident_Rept_Guidelines.pdf
Image: https://www.kidcheck.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Incident-Report.png
What is an incident report?

38. Do:
● Take notes to be able to easily recall information
● Write in third person
● Report information in chronological order and include timing of events
● Check grammar and sentence structure
● Include as much detail as possible
● Include first, last names and titles of individuals involved
○ I.e. students, University Police, Resident Assistants, etc.
Adapted from: http://www.evergreen.edu/sites/default/files/housing/office/RA%20IR%20Writing%20Guide.pdf
https://apps.carleton.edu/student/housing/assets/duty_confrontation_crisis_management.pdf
Unbiased Incident Reporting

39. Why is this an exemplary example of an unbiased incident report?
Resource: http://ras.saintleoresidencelife.com/incident-reports.html
Unbiased Incident Reporting Example

40. Don’t:
● Include personal emotional reactions to events
● Neglect meeting with supervisors following
events
● Write one lengthy report of all the incidents that
occurred during your scheduled duty
● Forget to include all individuals that are involved
Adapted from: https://apps.carleton.edu/student/housing/assets/duty_confrontation_crisis_management.pdf
Unbiased Incident Reporting
Image: https://www.uaex.edu/business-
communities/apac-government-
contracting/images/Small%20Red%20No.jpg?ox
=

41. Why is this a poor example of an unbiased incident report?
Resource: http://ras.saintleoresidencelife.com/incident-reports.html
Unbiased Incident Reporting Example

42. ● An incident report is a legal document
● Submit incident report document
within 24 hours of event
● Follow up on incidents, as needed
Adapted from: http://www.evergreen.edu/sites/default/files/housing/office/RA%20IR%20Writing%20Guide.pdf
Image: https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/reminder-gm174030107-20053996?esource=SEO_GIS_CDN_Redirect
Important to Keep in Mind

43. Teambuilder

44. ● Lay two ropes on the ground parallel to each other, about 20 feet apart.
● Have the students line up on one side of the rope, and they are looking at the
20 feet gap between the ropes.
● The only way to get across is by using communication and conflict resolution
skills.
● Students will be given several pieces of paper, representing stepping stones,
to help get through the gap.
● One student must be touching each “stone” while passing through the gap or
they will “sink.”
● Students must work together to get across the gap using the paper while
communicating with one another.
Adapted from: http://www.ultimatecampresource.com/site/camp-activity/hot-chocolate-river.html
Teambuilder
Let’s do it.

45. Assessment and
Wrap Up

46. Take out another note card:
1. Referring back to your first conflict that we discussed this morning,
how would you handle the situation now after today’s training?
a. What skills would you use or refer to?
2. Do you feel prepared to handle conflict in the residence halls after
BCD? Why or why not?
3. What was your biggest takeaway from today’s training?
4. Do you have any lingering questions about any topic we have covered
today?
Assessment & Wrap Up

47. Image from: http://food.fnr.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/food/video/0/01/010/0100/0100475.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.616.347.suffix/1479432827410.jpeg
Dinner

48. Questions?