502 d grawitch cuddeback handout


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502 d grawitch cuddeback handout

  1. 1. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org What Do We Do When…? Training Volunteers to Lead Volunteer Groups Welcome, explain purpose of the session, opening activity (20 minutes) Purpose: learn about engaging and motivating volunteers during training Rules Icebreakers – everything flows if everyone knows a. Three things b. Continuum c. Look up, look down What does it mean “to volunteer”? (10 minutes) 1. Empower a. Address ―just a volunteer‖ syndrome b. Help volunteers discover new opportunities c. Be the vision: keep them excited by sharing what you are passionate about d. Be a cheerleader and over-recognize e. Be an advocate, smooth out processes (paperwork, tests, etc.) What do I do when…(30 minutes) 1. Probably the most asked question we get, so we thought we would work on the what-if’s in this section… 2. Facilitating a. Provide the structure – set the theme, introduce activities, debrief b. Help them understand each other c. Allow them to be who they are in a new role—about whole person a. Release your expectations - profound moments happen when they happen—in group, before or after, with everyone or with one 3. Managing conflict – conflict is not bad? How do you handle conflict (see list on handout ―Managing conflict‖) a. Typical scenario’s: have everyone pair off and each take a scenario and discuss how best to handle it. Similar situations are in their handouts and they can refer to those. Take 5 minutes to come up with a response, then round robin discuss each scenario and find out different approaches It’s personal: debriefing as self-care (15 minutes) 1. The debrief is one of the most important elements of working with volunteers, yet it’s the easiest one to overlook a. Closure activities - Reflect on the experience and make it meaningful—do this as group now i. What did we do today? (discuss) ii. How did it effect me? What did I learn, think, feel? (draw it) iii. How can I use this to help me in the future? (15 seconds around) b. Debrief reduces the risk of unfinished business after training Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  2. 2. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org Leading a Group Debrief Debriefing may serve as an opportunity to reflect on an experience and make it meaningful by identifying what we learned about ourselves and others. This technique of debriefing is useful for group members following the completion of an activity or event. As a facilitator, your job is to lead a thought provoking, safe discussion by asking meaningful questions in a pre-planned sequence. A mature group will often lead their own discussion with little prompting from a facilitator. A debrief usually follows this sequence: rules, what, so what, now what. Rules: Rules can help to develop a supportive, caring climate for people to feel safe and free to express themselves. If time permits, rules for the group's interaction should be developed by the group, preferably before the service project ever takes place. Otherwise, a list of the rules should be posted and discussed with a hand-raise agreement by those who will abide by them before the debrief. Suggested rules include: Honor confidentiality Give unconditional respect to self and others Participate as much as possible Speak only for myself, not others Be open and honest with group members Be silent if it feels right Stop the discussion if a rule is being broken and restate the rule What? This is the project report describing what happened during the entire project, who was involved, what was accomplished, what needs were met, etc. Techniques for leading this part may include: 1. Sharing photographs, 2. A "go around"* where each person says one descriptive word or sentence about the project, 3. The "memory game"* where one person begins to recount the project but can be interrupted any time by someone saying, "Hold it!" if they thinks of something to add to that part of the story, Questions to ask may include: 1. For the sake of refreshing our memories, will someone please describe (the project)? 2. We're going to go around the circle starting to my left. Would each person say one adjective to describe (the project) we just completed? So What? The "what?" questions generally lead quickly into the "so what?" questions. This is where the participants identify what they think or feel about or learned from the experience. If you look back at the original reasons for volunteering and selecting the project, you will be able to ask Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  3. 3. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org evaluative questions to see if the volunteers needs were met by doing the project. Techniques for this section may include: 1. "The whip" where you ask each person in the group to complete a sentence such as, "I'm glad that I...", or "When we were (doing something) I felt...";2. "Partner dialogue" where you ask participants to discuss a question and have one of the partners summarize their discussion for the group afterwards; 2. Journalizing can be a single sheet of paper with questions to focus reflections on or blank paper for recording free-flowing thoughts; consider writing poems, drawing pictures or having a community journal; 3. "Fish bowl" where half the group sits inside a circle and discusses the project surrounded by the other half of the group who observes and summarizes the inside group's discussion; or To ask about what was learned may include: 1. What do you know now that you didn't know before? 2. What attitudes and feelings do you have about the experience that you didn't have before? 3. Are you aware of any other changes that occurred in knowledge, skills, attitudes, or feelings as a direct result of this experience? If so, explain. To ask to evaluate the group may include: 1. What part of this project was most valuable for you? 2. How have you contributed to this group? 3. What are some things that would have made the group experience better for you? Now What? The "so what" questions should flow smoothly into the "now what" questions. These questions should take what was learned from the experience and apply that to future projects or interactions. Questions to ask may include: 1. What do you think you will remember or retain in other ways after the experience? 2. Can you explain why this might be so? 3. What will you probably verbally share with or demonstrate to others in the future? 4. Would you make any personal changes in how you will contribute in the future? 5. What are some things you appreciate about the members of this group? 6. What changes would you suggest for future group experiences? 7. Where does the group go from here? Reference: Lasting Lessons: A Teacher's Guide to Reflecting on Experience. Knapp, Clifford E. (1998) Courtesy of St. Norbert College, Leadership Service and Involvement Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  4. 4. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org Empowerment Anyone interested in the business field has probably run across an article or two on empowering employees. It seems leaders are truly realizing the benefits of training their subordinates how to handle situations and giving them the authority to do so. It may seem like a commonsense approach to success, so why haven't businesses picked up on this earlier? Well, like so many things in the world, it is not always as cut and dry as it may seem. Empowering others can take some creative work on the part of the leader. Some people like the idea of seeking approval for every minor step; that way if something goes wrong, they have someone to blame. Some people have not built up enough self-confidence to handle situations. Some leaders fear they will look unqualified, weak or indecisive if they seek input from other members. And sometimes leaders - for their own reasons - just don't feel comfortable relinquishing control to others no matter how much they trust them. If you are one of those leaders who cannot seem to let go - or you want to, but don't really know what this will entail - read on. Following are the various roles a leader can take in empowering others to develop leadership abilities and even some self-confidence along the way. Discoverer - It is important to note that there is no single "right way" to empower others. A leader's job consists of continually looking for new opportunities to accomplish the group mission. Are you always chairing the program committees? Do you lead the meetings as well as write up the minutes? Maybe it is time to recommend someone else for these duties. Not only does this empower others, it adds to your free time as well. As a discoverer, it is important to be a visionary and be flexible to change. Illustrator - As a leader, it is extremely important to remember - and remind others - about the goals, values and mission of the group. You can set a path towards accomplishing goals so that others may follow suit. As an empowering leader, you can inspire goal commitment - but in a way that doesn't equal demanding compliance. If you are committed to the group goals, let it be known in the way you approach opportunities or deal with obstacles. Encourager - In most organizations, the days of the leader's way being the only way are long gone. To empower others to take responsibility, be supportive: offer reassurance, recognize successes, believe in your members and take a vested interest in their achievements. You don't need to look the other way when failures occur, but dwelling on them accomplishes little. Acknowledge them, make improvements or suggestions for the future, highlight the successes and move on! Enabler - In some situations, enabling is viewed in a very negative light (i.e., substance abuse). In empowering leadership, however, enabling others can be very positive. In this sense, enabling involves offering a helping hand to boost chances of success. You might consider yourself to be a coach or team builder in this position, which would be accurate labels for the roles you are playing here. Smoother - Finally, an empowering leader needs to facilitate accomplishments to the extent possible. This means smoothing the way for others by providing them with necessary information Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  5. 5. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org to complete a task, networking with outside contacts to build positive relationships and serving as a resource. This is a critical step in the empowerment process; people need to know they have the support and resources they need to help them accomplish goals. The benefits to empowerment are numerous, not only to those being empowered, but to the leaders and overall organization as well. Aside from building self-confidence and increasing free time as mentioned earlier, take a look at some of the other potential benefits: To the followers: Increased motivation Higher degree of learning Improved tolerance of stress To the leaders: Increased organizational commitment Less role ambiguity Increased satisfaction with roles and the organization To the organization: More flexibility Better sense of community Requests/problems handled with increased speed Group coordination and development Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  6. 6. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org Managing Conflict Conflict is inevitable in any interpersonal relationship or among members of any group and can be a very positive experience, if managed properly. Why do we shy away from dealing with conflict? Many of us were raised to believe that conflict is something to be avoided, and is an experience of failure. However, conflict doesn't have to lead to failure, defeat, separation or termination of individual relationships. We all come to see the world in different ways, and we have different ideas about what's best for us and what's best for our group. It is actually a signal that change is needed and possible. The ability to manage conflict is probably one of the most important social skills an individual can possess. Competing - An individual pursues his/her own concerns at the other person's expense. This is a power-oriented mode, in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win one's own position. Competing might mean "standing up for your rights,‖ defending a position which you believe correct, or simply trying to influence others. Accommodating - The opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person; there is an element of self- sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person's order when one would prefer not to, or yielding to another's point of view. Avoiding - The individual does not immediately pursue his/her own concerns or those of the other person if he/she does not address the conflict. Avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation. Compromising - The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties. It falls on a middle ground between competing and accommodating. Compromising gives up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but doesn't explore it in as much depth as collaborating. Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position. Collaborating - The opposite of avoiding. Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both. It means digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find a solution which meets both sets of concerns. This is clearly the most effective approach of conflict management. Specifically it will produce the following results: 1. Both sides' needs are met 2. Satisfaction 3. Mutual respect 4. Both parties feel enriched rather than belittled 5. Continuing effort of both parties to work together Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  7. 7. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org All five styles of conflict management obviously have advantages and disadvantages. When dealing with conflict in personal relationships, any of these types may be useful in certain situations. The last style, collaboration, however, is highly recommended for dealing with conflict in student organizations. It results in something satisfactory to both parties. People often feel proud of themselves and feel a sense of personal power when they use this method. It's a sign of integrity and self-confidence when one is able to use this method with patience regardless of how difficult the situation may be. Two Issues Which You Might Have To Deal With When Confronting A Conflict: People who won't negotiate Some people refuse to negotiate because they want to protect their special interests or privileges. Here are a few steps to take in dealing with such people. 1. Start to negotiate anyway. 2. Explain why it is in their interest to negotiate, why it is worthwhile to deal with the problems existing between you. 3. Talk about problems how the collaboration will help them solve their problems or others' problems. Share the problem. For example, bring to their attention the joint image that you're two sub-groups for the organization. When trust is an issue Here are a few suggestions for this problem. 1. Be trustworthy. Do what you said you would do. 2. Find a higher value that you both agree on. For example, you both want to project a positive image. 3. Listen. 4. Make an agreement in such a way that you know when it is carried out. 5. Start small. 6. There are people who simply can't/won't trust you, but do your best anyway. Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  8. 8. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org Facilitation We think facilitation is: Open Discussion Challenging other participants and connecting with them Dialogue with diverse topics Safe environment for peoples views Drawing out diverse views Devil's advocate About learning/expanding ideas Leading the group in the correct direction Developing group dynamics Encouraging people to step outside of their comfort zone Being inclusive, open-minded, understanding, tolerant Interjecting only when necessary, just observing and listening Having fun, getting everyone involved Encouragement of personal reflection We do not think facilitation is: Imposing your own views on others Lecture Debate or confrontational About yourself, its for the participants Ganging up on others or taking sides Just a few people discussing Forcing people to speak or giving answers An excuse to dominate, or yell Allowing personal attacks Getting emotional Asking one person to represent an entire social identity Making people conform What do you do when someone makes an offensive comment? Give people an option to walk away Ask them a question to have them clarify comment, allows for reevaluation Re-visit ground rules Facilitators take a more active role in discussion Break into smaller groups for further discussion Pose an alternative point of view Discuss assumptions and intentions of comment If all else fails, call a small break and the facilitator has a personal talk with the person If it's between two people, open it up to entire group Don't get side tracked in a long discussion Ask the group to refrain from using offensive comments Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  9. 9. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org Be aware that people may react differently Be flexible and use your judgment to react How do you create a safe environment? Create common guidelines for the group to follow Icebreakers: finding commonalities Start with less sensitive topics to build trust Body language Diffuse tensions Drop your own reservations Give everyone a chance to speak, sit on the same level Anonymous question and comment cards Give people time for self reflection Silence is OK, give people an opportunity to pass Try to build a group bond, mix people together Identify reasons for people not participating Encourage different ideas Look happy, be enthusiastic Be mindful of diversity in the group and try to get to know everyone Be aggressive if you notice a potential problem How do you get people involved to engage with each other? Icebreakers, find similarities, introductions Finding conflicting opinions "Go Around" exercises with option of passing Splitting into pairs, or smaller groups and changing groups Getting paper to write down thoughts, distribute thoughts and comments Asking individuals to state something they like about group, be supportive Exercises that require asking each other questions Bring different view together into focus Start with easier topics to help move into harder topics Make sure questions stimulate discussion, not one word answers Make questions neutral so they invite different answers Source: The Empowering Leader: Unrealized Opportunities. Howard, A. (1996). Prepared for Kellogg Leadership Project: On-Line. Courtesy of the Illini Union, University of Illinois at Urban-Champaign Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW
  10. 10. Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice * 5110 West Main St. * Belleville, IL 618-277-1800 heartlinks@familyhospice.org So they never have to walk alone… Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice offers on-going grief support for children, teens, and families who have experienced the death of a loved one. As the only on-going support service available to grieving children in our six-county service area, Heartlinks staff and volunteers work hard to find innovative ways to provide outreach services to children and teens who cannot access our services at the center. The Heartlinks Grief Center at Family Hospice provides grief support and education to an average of 600 people annually. Heartlinks child and teen clients range in age from 2 – 21. Heartlinks also provides grief support for young widowed parents, parents grieving the death of a child, and anyone who is caring for a grieving child. Mobile programming is also offered at numerous local schools, as well as to summer camps and community centers throughout the service area (which includes the counties of St. Clair, Madison, Clinton, Washington, Monroe, and Randolph). Another service regularly available is community and professional trainings around grief issues. ONGOING SUPPORT GROUPS Little Bears (preschool) Rhapsody Group (preteen) Shooting Stars (elementary) Brat Pack Group (teen) Caregiver Group (adults caring for a grieving young person) Parenting Alone (young widows/widowers) Aching Arms (when a child dies) TAG (Teen Age Grief – in area high schools) Facing the Future (daytime group for grieving adults) Other programs including short-term groups, professional trainings, and one-day grief workshops available as needed. Please contact Kris or Diana for more information. CONTACT INFORMATION: Heartlinks is supported by Family Hospice and the St. Clair County Mental Health Board, as well as through donations and several small grants. For more information on Heartlinks services, to make a donation or to learn about volunteer opportunities at the Heartlinks Grief Center, please contact us at (618) 277- 1800 or heartlinks@familyhospice.org Kris Grawitch, LCSW, MS Diana Cuddeback, LCSW