http://www.flawlessconfidence.com/100-ways-how-to-build-confidence/ presents 100 Ways how to build confidence. After reading this you really have no excuse not to be confident!
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How to build confidence is a question that millions of people all around the
world ask themselves on a daily basis.
And confidence is an essential ingredient in the recipe of success, happiness, health,
better relationships, reaching your dreams etc.
Think about it, do you know any successful people who are not confident?
Fortunately, anybody can learn how to be confident. It’s just a matter of knowing
which steps to take and then taking action every single day to build your confidence
until you’ve reached the level where you want to be at.
Here are 100 ways how to build confidence.
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3. 100 Ways How To Build
Confidence
1.Martial Arts
Martial arts are a fantastic way to build confidence for a few reasons. It teaches
you how to defend yourself, it trains your body and pushes your limits and it
requires strict discipline (training your mind). I personally like Aikido but there
are countless forms of martial arts like Taekwondo, Karate, Capoeira etc. I’m
pretty certain that almost anywhere in the world you are able to find a dojo
with a teacher where you can learn a martial art.
2.Boxing
Boxing is a very technical sport that requires good physical condition and lots of
stamina. Again, boxing is good for building confidence because it trains your
body and releases endorphins, teaches you how to defend yourself and trains
your mind.
3.MMA
MMA stands for mixed martial arts and is a relatively new phenomenon. It
combines various martial art styles together with boxing so it is different from
the traditional martial art forms that have been around for hundreds or
thousands of years. MMA is a good way how to build confidence because it also
teaches you how to defend yourself, it’s very intensive physical training
(releasing those feel-good endorphin hormones) and it teaches you to be
disciplined.
4. 4.Gym & Weight-Lifting
Good old fashioned gym and lifting weights are a great way to build confidence.
Getting your body in good shape helps you feel more confident. It’s that age-
old saying of “look good, feel good”. When you look good, you feel more
attractive and sexy which instantly boosts your confidence and allows you to be
more comfortable around other people, especially the opposite sex. Besides
getting the “look good, feel good” benefit, exercise also releases stress and
produces endorphin hormones, allowing you to feel good for a long time after
exercising.
5.Dancing
Just dancing to your favorite song is a great way to lift your mood and boost
your confidence. However, it’s usually only temporary and wears off pretty
quickly. What does help to build lasting confidence is if you learn how to dance
really well. It doesn’t matter what style you choose, whether it be hip-hop,
crump or more classical styles, when you are able to dance well, you just feel
much more confident. It allows you to be yourself around strangers because
you experience that feeling of being in the spotlight when you dance in front of
strangers and you are comfortable with it because you are a good dancer.
6.Snowboarding
Snowboarding is a good way how to build confidence for a few reasons. It’s
physical exercise which releases those endorphin hormones, but mostly it gives
you a feeling of freedom like nothing else. It’s just you and the mountain, you
can go where you want, as fast as you want, as many times as you want. And
you can choose the level of difficulty of the slopes you go down. When you
become better at snowboarding, you can choose more difficult (dangerous)
slopes and doing difficult and challenging things like this really builds
confidence in yourself because if you have a lack of belief in yourself, you’re not
going to be able to go down those difficult slopes. This confidence you gain
from snowboarding carries through to other areas of your life.
7.Surfing
Just like with snowboarding, surfing also builds up confidence. It’s good
exercise, you’re out in fresh air, get sunshine, have the thrill and freedom of
riding the waves… and the better you get, the bigger waves you can ride. When
you become a good surfer and ride those big waves, it builds up confidence that
carries through to other areas of your life too.
5. 8.Sky-Diving
Jumping out of a plane with a small backpack and the faith that your parachute
will open is a great way to build confidence. Experiencing a successful jump will
make all other problems in life pale in comparison. You just jumped out a plane,
fell down to earth at a huge speed with the risk of turning into mush and landed
safely. Yeah… now you have confidence for whatever else you need to do in
your life.
9.Bungee Jumping
Just like sky-diving, bungee jumping is an equal way of building confidence and
it can be easier than sky-diving (it was for me personally at least). It’s actually
more scary to bungee jump because you are so much closer to the ground, and
you see it coming at you very fast before that elastic rope kicks in and halts
your fall. I did the highest bridge bungee jump in the world at Bloukrans in
South Africa. It’s a free-fall of 7 seconds (which feels like an eternity), but after
you’re safely back up on that bridge, every other problem you have in life
suddenly doesn’t feel big or scary anymore. Approaching total strangers? No
problem… I just dove head-first off a bridge with only an elastic cord around my
ankles.
10.Extreme Sports
I’ve already mentioned a couple like snowboarding, sky-diving and bungee
jumping, but extreme sports are a great way to build confidence. It’s simply
because there is a risk involved, and you really need to believe in yourself to do
the sport or else you will end up getting hurt. This belief in yourself to do the
extreme sport carries through into other areas of your life and thus makes you
a more confident person. (Of course extreme sports are risky and not suitable
for everyone).
6. 11.Public Speaking
A fantastic way how to build confidence is public speaking. You put yourself out
there on a stage or in a room full of strangers, either with a prepared speech or
an impromptu speech about a topic you’re not really familiar with. At first it will
be super uncomfortable (and possibly make you feel like you want to die) but
after time you will start to gain confidence, feel more comfortable in front of
people and believe in yourself more. There are clubs around the world like
Toastmasters which are perfectly suited for this.
12.Acting Class
Taking acting classes will help you build confidence much like public speaking
will. You get lots and lots of practice being in front of strangers having to act
out impromptu scenes, sometimes having to be totally silly and look like an
idiot. It makes you feel more comfortable with yourself and gives you more
confidence around strangers or being in front of people and this confidence
carries through to other areas in your life.
13.Marketing / Sales
A sales or marketing job is another good way how to build confidence. At least,
if you’re passionate about what you’re selling or marketing. You have to pitch
something to a total stranger, you have to convince them they need what you
are selling, and you can sell them on something better, or bigger. You have to
interact, you have to come across confident and you have to be social otherwise
you risk losing the sale. It doesn’t mean that you need to change your career to
sales, but if you’re serious about becoming confident maybe it’s worth a try to
shadow someone who works in this industry. Alternatively, try your skills on the
internet with a sales letter to sell a product (yours or someone else’s).
7. 14.Filming Yourself on Camera
It’s quite possible that you have no idea how you act, look or talk. You may
imagine it in a certain way, but maybe the rest of the world perceives you
differently. Get access to a camera and film yourself when you’re doing
something you normally do. And then watch it. Do you notice anything strange?
Are you slouching, not holding eye-contact, speaking weird, have a nervous
tick? Maybe you can find something about yourself that you never knew, and
change that bad habit, and suddenly become more confident?
15.Approach Strangers
There’s no way to build confidence like facing your fears head-on. One of the
scariest things that most people can imagine is to go up and *shudder*
approach total strangers. Like… start a conversation with someone you’ve never
met in your life. You might argue with me that you need confidence before you
can do this, but it is in fact one of the best ways to build confidence. My best
advice is to start very simple, like asking someone what the time is, and then
progressing to paying someone a compliment, and then having a small
conversation etc. If you do this with 5 people a day, every day for 30 days,
after these 30 days you’ll be a much more confident person.
16.Ask Someone Out On A Date
After you get comfortable with approaching strangers, the next step is to ask
someone out on a date (or ask someone to join you for an activity if that’s less
scary for you). When you start doing activities or going to places with people
you hardly know, it really does wonders for building your confidence. Again,
initially it will be scary, nerve-wrecking and horrible, but if you push through
then it will become much easier and more pleasant.
17.Solo Travel
Another fantastic way how to build confidence is to travel solo (and I’m
speaking from experience). This is because firstly it takes guts to travel solo
and you need belief in yourself that you’re going to be able to sort everything
out (travel arrangements, accommodation, possible problems etc.). Secondly,
when traveling solo you are forced to interact with people on a constant basis,
even if it’s only part of your basic travels (like asking someone for directions).
You’ll also find it much easier to speak to people because you’re in a more
relaxed vibe, and in another place (you have an excuse to talk to people) and
also the fact that you know you’re never going to see most of the people you
speak to again in your life. Solo travel is a super experience and you don’t even
need to be super rich to afford it. You can live in a place like Thailand for $500
per month!
8. 18.Say Yes To Something New
If you take an objective look at yourself, you’ll probably find that you decline a
lot of opportunities to go out, socialize or do something new. It’s probably
because subconsciously you are scared and it’s easier to say no and avoid a
potential situation for putting yourself out there, and that is exactly why you
don’t become more confident. There’s a very cool movie starring Jim Carrey
called Yes Man. I recommend watching it. And then for some time, try saying
yes to something you would normally decline. What have you got to lose?
19.Meditation
Meditation is a practice to help silence your mind. All those thousands of
thoughts running through your mind all the time, constantly fighting with you,
working against you, creating doubt and uncertainty. With practice, meditation
can allow you to get rid of all the useless thoughts in your mind and allows you
to focus on the things you want in life, thus helping you build confidence by
elimination of all those negative and useless thoughts.
20.Binaural Beats
Binaural beats are a recent technology with various purposes. They are
scientifically engineered sound tracks of very specific frequencies that are
proven to stimulate certain pathways and activities in your brain. Scientists
have discovered that every thought or emotion you experience creates activity
in very specific parts of your brain and emit brain waves of very specific
frequencies. By creating these sound tracks of specific frequencies, it’s possible
to stimulate the brain to experience and enhance emotions like… confidence.
And all you have to do is listen to these sound tracks in a quiet place with
headphones for 5-15 minutes a day and you should immediately notice a
difference in your confidence level. Learn more about binaural beats here.
9. 21.Self-Hypnosis
If you think that self-hypnosis involves swinging a pendulum back and forth in
front of your eyes combined with the words “you are getting sleepy, very
sleepy”, then you’re wrong. Self hypnosis is a recent technology (although it’s
been around for hundreds of years) that allows you to bypass the conscious
mind and reprogram your subconscious mind directly. This is so very effective
because you logically (consciously) have no ability to resist the change and
hypnosis, and it thus changes, removes or instills new beliefs in your mind in as
little as a single session, compared to weeks or months of conventional therapy.
There is so much to this topic that it’s impossible to fit into this post, but I
highly recommend self-hypnosis as a way how to build confidence. If you want
to learn more, check this out.
22.Find Your Purpose
Have you ever asked yourself what the meaning of life is? Or what you are
doing on this planet? My simple philosophy is that there is no meaning of life,
you’re just here and you have to make the best of it. You can do whatever you
want to do in your life, and you can become anything you want to be. But if you
don’t know what you want, then you’re going to find yourself lost, wandering
around and not finding much happiness in your day to day activities. Take some
time to reflect and decide what it is that you want to do with your life. Maybe
you want to make a difference to the lives of others, or build a fortune 500
company, or become a movie star… who knows. But find your purpose and it
will give you a lot more confidence.
23.Help Someone
When you’re feeling down, reach out to help someone. The same applies when
you lack confidence. If you help someone not only do you forget about your
own problems, but you’re doing something to make a difference. At the same
time, by helping someone it shows you that you’re not so useless or bad as you
think which is a good way to build confidence.
24.Set Goals
This is similar to finding your purposes. If you have no plan or don’t have any
goals, you’re wondering around aimlessly and not making good use of your
time and life. Make it a habit to set short-term and long-term goals because it
will give you a direction to follow at all times, which will build your confidence
because you know where you are going. Before I go to bed I always like to
make a list of things that I want to do the next day. This keeps me productive
and efficient, and lets me feel like I’ve accomplished something during the day
which helps boost and maintain a high level of confidence. When you achieve,
you feel good.
10. 25.Prioritize
After you set goals, the next important step is to prioritize. If you have a list of
10 things to do in a day, but only one is urgent or important, what do you think
is going to make you feel better: doing 9 unimportant things or doing the 1
important thing? My experience is that it’s the more important thing. When you
work and you always complete your most important tasks, it allows you to feel
confident because you’re never running behind or need to panic.
26.Learn From Your Mistakes
If you are human, you make mistakes. It’s part of life, and part of the process
of growing up. It can be minor mistakes like bumping your head or it can be
much bigger mistakes. There’s a saying that says “it’s not what you do, it’s
what you do next”. When you make a mistake, it’s not a problem. The problem
is how you handle the mistake. It’s usually a good idea to admit your mistakes,
and it’s a good idea to fix or replace something if you are able to. Some
mistakes are life-changing, but the best you can do is to learn from your
mistakes to become a better person. When you see mistakes as a learning
process, it allows you to be easier on yourself and thus be more confident with
whatever you do because you know that making a mistake does not mean you
are stupid or worthless.
27.Dress Stylish
Confidence should not depend on some external factor like what clothes you
wear, but an easy way to boost your confidence is to dress sharp. When you
look good, you feel good (just like when you have a good body you feel good).
If you always dress like a bum then chances are good that its subconsciously
affecting your confidence level when you’re out in public.
11. 28.Make Eye Contact
One thing that you’ll notice about confident people is that they’re very good
with making and holding eye-contact. Insecure and confidence-lacking people
will often avoid eye-contact and look around or stare at the floor. Make it a
habit to make eye-contact with people around you and not look away when the
look at you or when they talk to you.
29.Don’t Slouch
Your body language not only conveys to others how confident you are, but it
has a huge effect on your own confidence. A big rule if you want to be more
confident is to stop slouching. Sit up straight. Walk straight with your head
high. Just by changing your posture you’ll be able to become more confidence.
30.Stop Fluff-Talking
Stop making small talk and wasting words. Try for a while to only talk about
what is necessary. Communicate as directly as possible. This is something that
you may struggle with initially because you’re so used to saying hundreds of
words to get your point across, but if you master this skill it will make you a
more confident person. I highly recommend watching the movie “1000 Words”
with Eddie Murphy.
31.Speak Louder
If you’re lacking confidence then it’s likely that you speak quite softly. Do
people often ask you to repeat what you’ve said? Then it’s a sign that you
should speak louder. Try to raise your entire volume level with everything you
say. It doesn’t mean you should shout, but project your voice. Make sure that
people who stand 5 metres away can still hear you when you speak. It’s one of
my favorite ways how to build confidence.
32.Confident Body Language
I already mentioned how important body language is for feeling and looking
confident. By walking and sitting up straight, you’re already on your way to
confident body language but there are a couple of other things that you can do.
For example don’t cross your arms or legs, this is protective behaviour and
usually not of confident people. Don’t place yourself in corners of the room or
on the edge of a couch. Take up space, spread your arms, sit in the middle of
the couch even when there is nobody else there.
33.Do Everything With Intent
When you do something, anything, do it with intent. When you pick up a glass,
pick up the glass. When you walk somewhere, walk with intent. It comes down
to you knowing what you want, being sure what you want to do and then doing
it.
12. 34.Smile
They say that your brain cannot tell the difference between when you really
smile or when you fake it, and that either way you feel happy and good
emotions. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know, but I know that smiling
makes me feel good and not so serious about everything. And when you smile
you look good to others, and make a difference to their mood, and then they
start being more friendly with you, which boosts your confidence. So it seems
that there are a lot of good reasons to smile.
35.Gratitude
It’s amazing what a difference being grateful can make to your confidence level.
Gratitude allows you to appreciate what you have: the roof over your head, the
food in your fridge, the safety of not having people wanting to kill you, the
freedom of being able to walk around through your city without being arrested,
your family, your friends etc. Make a list of everything you’re thankful for and
look at this list from time to time.
36.Understand Your Insecurities
Everybody is insecure about something, whether it be your body, your
background or your life so far. But you may not be aware of what you are
insecure about and that could be a big contributing factor to your lack of
confidence. I suggest taking some time to reflect and understand what you are
insecure about. This will allow you to either take action to change what you are
not happy with (e.g. when you are overweight) or it will allow you to let go of
what you cannot change and move on (e.g. your height or skin-color).
13. 37.Love Yourself
This ties in with the previous point of changing what you cannot accept and
accepting what you cannot change. You are who you are and you should love
yourself. If you hate or despise yourself then you are not going to be very
confident. Love yourself for the person you are, but if there are things you don’t
like that you can change, take action to change these things (e.g. get a better
job to make more money, go to gym to lose weight, etc.)
38.Forgive Yourself
Everybody makes mistakes. I’ve already covered learning from your mistakes,
but what is also a very important part of building confidence is to forgive
yourself for mistakes you’ve made. You may have made some decisions in your
life that you really regret. You may have lost or destroyed things that were very
valuable to you because of stupidity or ego, but unfortunately what is done is
done. You cannot change the past, and if something is unchangeable, try to
forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. And then continue to be the best
person you can be and make the most of your life from this day forward.
39.Try To Understand
Try to understand why you lack confidence. What are the core reasons? Is it
something that happened to you in the past? Is it something you fear? Once
you understand what you fear or why you don’t have confidence, you are able
to make a plan to change that and start building confidence. (By following the
100 ways to build confidence that you are reading right now).
40.Eliminate Negative Thinking
One of the biggest contributing factors to lack of confidence and low self-
esteem is negative thinking. Every time you think a negative thought you’re
conditioning yourself to believe that it’s true. When you think “I can’t” or “It’s
not possible” enough times, then you actually start to believe that it’s true and
you don’t even try any more. Stop this negative thinking. Every time you have
a negative thought, consciously stop yourself and think of something positive or
constructive.
14. 41.Remove Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are similar to negative thinking yet there is a difference.
Negative thinking would be talking to yourself in ways like “You’re such an idiot”
or “Your life sucks” while limiting beliefs are things you’ve conditioned yourself
into thinking are true (e.g. “I’m not attractive” or “I am not smart enough to
make money). To remove limiting beliefs, first you need to know what they are.
I suggest making a list of everything you tell yourself you cannot do. Once you
have this list, you need to consciously be aware of every time these thoughts
enter your mind, and then you need to stop yourself from thinking them and
continue to replace the limiting belief thought with the positive side of it. (e.g.
“I’m not attractive” becomes “I am attractive”). Removing limiting beliefs is a
very good way how to build confidence.
42.Think Positive
Stopping yourself from thinking negatively will make a big difference to your
confidence level, but if you combine that together with thinking positively then
you’ll notice a world of difference in your confidence level. Be kind to yourself,
motivate yourself, cheer yourself on. Believe that you can do anything you set
your mind to.
43.Believe In Yourself
You are the shit! (my high school math teacher always told us to believe that
about ourselves, and no it does not mean that you are shit, it means you are
THE shit, as in you are awesome). Be your own best fan and have faith that you
can do whatever you set your mind to, even if it will take you many attempts or
a long time or cost a lot of money. Have unwavering belief in yourself and know
that you can count on yourself to get you through any situation. This belief is
crucial to becoming a confident person.
44.Learn To Say No
Learning to say no makes a very big difference to your confidence level. People
who lack confidence or who are low on self-esteem very rarely say no and
always end up doing things they don’t really want to be doing. Learning to say
no involves setting boundaries. You need to know what you want to do and
what you do not want to do. If a situation occurs that involves you having to do
something that will cross your boundaries then say no (e.g. your boss asking
you to work overtime without paying you for it). Don’t be afraid that you will
look like a jerk for saying no to something that crosses your boundaries. It’s
much better than being a wussy who lets others walk all over him.
15. 45.Be True To Yourself
Being true to yourself is similar to learning to say no to things that cross your
boundaries. It means that you should be doing everything because you want to
be doing it. Create your life in a way how you want to live it, don’t do
something because your friends, parents or family expect it from you. Don’t be
in a relationship with someone who you don’t really want to be in a relationship
with. Follow your heart and let it guide you. Once you stop living for other
people, you’ll start to feel more confident because your life aligns with your
heart and your desires.
46.Be In The Present
A common mistake people who lack confidence make is to dwell on the past or
dream in the future most of the time. The only time when you live, when you
feel, when you can take action is right now… the present moment. Reflect on
the past from time to time and use it to learn from, and dream in the future
from time to time to plan your goals and direction, but live in the present
moment. When your mind and body are present, it’s a lot easier to be confident
with everything that you do.
47.Let Go Of The Past
Living in the present moment as much as possible on its own is not going to
help you if your past is haunting you. If you’ve got something in your past you
really regret it can be a huge weight on your confidence level or even the sole
reason why you lack confidence. I already mentioned how you should forgive
yourself and how you should learn from your mistakes. Now it’s time to let go
of the past. You cannot change what’s done. Try to find a way to forgive
yourself or find closure, and stop letting the past weigh you down.
16. 48.Take Action
The single most important way how to build confidence it to take action. You
can read as much about building confidence as you want, if you don’t take
action to change your confidence level then it’s never going to happen. You
don’t just wake up one day and say “Hey, I’m a super confident person”. It’s a
gradual process that requires you taking small steps over an extended period of
time. But take small steps to improve your confidence every single day and
within a few weeks or months you can be a completely different person. A good
example is when you want to learn how to approach women – you’ll get better
with each approach.
49.Write About Your Feelings
A very good way to let go of the past or to forgive yourself is by writing about
your feelings. When you put your thoughts onto paper, it’s almost like you
transfer them from your mind onto that paper. They leave your body and open
up space inside you. Anger, hate, fear, worry, insecurity… once you really start
writing how you feel you’ll notice how the intensity of these emotions inside you
become less and less. And of course, the fewer negative emotions you have
inside you, the more confident you become.
17. 50.Start A Blog
A blog is a good way how to build confidence. Why? Firstly because it
incorporates the above point where you write about your feelings and inject
your opinion and personal life into your blog (how much you choose to reveal
publicly is up to you of course). Secondly, when you blog (and take it
seriously), you’re building a resource that thousands, potentially millions of
people will visit. This means you need to make it look good and make the
content on your blog interesting or valuable. This means you’re in front of a lot
of people, and although you’re not directly in front of an audience like you are
with public speaking, you still get lots of emails and contact requests with your
readers from all around the world. And as a bonus additionally to becoming
more confident by blogging, you also stand the chance to change the lives of
others or make money. So go out and start a blog right now, it’s really easy.
51.Learn Another Language
The majority of the world only speaks one language. So go out and learn
another one. It’s challenging and takes work but it’s also interesting. When you
are able to speak another language you just feel like you can do more than
your average person which helps with confidence building. After you have basic
knowledge of another language you can take this exercise even further by
visiting a country that speaks this language and then interaction with native
strangers to communicate your needs or just start a conversation. (This is a
super way how to build confidence because you’re combining learning another
language with solo travel with approaching strangers. Hardcore!)
52.Be Curious
Although curiosity killed the cat, being a curious person is a very good trait to
have. If you want more confidence, become more curious. Find that urge to
want to know how things work, or that urge to visit new place or learn more. A
strong sense of curiosity will help you move out your comfort zone and build
more confidence.
53.Get Feedback
Sometimes you don’t see the forest through the trees, meaning you’re so
involved in your daily life and person that you don’t see what you are doing
wrong or what your problems are. It’s a good idea to ask constructive feedback
from someone who is confident but who is also a good person. What you need
is hard constructive feedback, someone who is not afraid to tell you straight
(e.g. you slouch too much and don’t keep eye-contact) but at the same time
someone who doesn’t say stupid things like “you are an idiot”.
18. 54.Take Risks
When it comes to building confidence, you need to take risks. Maybe small
risks, but sometimes bigger risks. You may ask yourself what I mean by taking
risks, but the answers are already in this list that you are reading. Fore
example, when you go sky-diving to improve your confidence, you’re taking a
risk. When you start with public speaking, you’re taking a risk of humiliating
yourself. When you approach a stranger, you risk rejection. The key to taking
risks is to see it as a learning experience. If everything goes okay then you get
a huge boost to your confidence. If something goes wrong, see it as a mistake
to learn from and do it better next time round. (Unfortunately you don’t get
second chances if something goes wrong with sky-diving).
55.Motivate Yourself
When you set out on the journey to become more confident, it’s going to really
help you if you find ways to motivate yourself. I guarantee that there will be
times when you feel like giving up because you’re facing obstacles and failures,
and because you don’t seem to be making progress in your quest of gaining
confidence. If you give up, you go back to square one, being your old self with
no confidence. So, in times of need, you must turn to sources to motivate
yourself to keep going. I personally like to turn to quotes of people who I
admire, people who persevered and overcame enormous obstacles and
achieved huge success. Examples would be Michael Jordan, Lance Armstrong
and Will Smith.
56.Find Role Model
Another very good way how to build confidence is to find a role model (or more
than one). Find people who have achieved what you want to achieve, or who
are living a life you dream of living. Make it a project to find out everything you
can about these people, how they think, what they eat, how they work, what
their philosophy is. Study them and imitate them so that you can too achieve
what they achieved. If you want to be more confident, find someone who is
super confident and study their habits. What makes them so confident and how
can you apply their habits to your own life?
57.Admit When You Are Wrong
It can be a difficult thing to admit when you’re wrong, but learning to do this
will help you with becoming more confident. It prevents you from being so
protective of your ego and your pride, and it makes you a much more open
person. There’s nothing wrong in admitting you made a mistake. In fact, people
often respect you more for admitting you did something wrong than when you
try to deny it or cover it up.
19. 58.Relax
You are not a machine or robot. From time to time your body and your mind
needs a break. You need to relax, let go of your stress and worries and really
go back to being yourself. Sometimes a day off or a weekend is not enough, so
if you feel that you really need a break, take a week and go somewhere where
you can relax. Being in the wild or near nature is always a good idea to relax.
When you are relaxed you’ll find it easier to believe in yourself and have more
energy to go after the things you want.
59.Spend Time With Friends
Don’t underestimate the importance of friends in your life. Spending time with
friends can be a huge boost to your confidence, happiness and success in life
and you should from time to time get away and spend time with your friends.
However, it is important that your friends are people who support you ad who
challenge you to grow. Being friends with the wrong kind of people (negative
people and people who also lack confidence) is not going to help you become a
more confident person.
60.Do Something Silly
A great way how to build confidence is to do something silly or ridiculous on
purpose. Have people look at you, laugh at you and above all, laugh at yourself.
Take lipstick and write something on your forehead and go to the mall, wear a
funny costume and go out on the street, offer to tell people a joke for $1.
Whatever you can think of, just make it silly and go out with the intention to
have people laugh at you or look at you funny. You’ll see it’s not so bad as you
think it is.
61.End Negative Relationships
A huge drain of your confidence comes from negative influences or rather,
negative relationships. These are abusive and destructive relationships where
people just bully you, use you and don’t give anything back to you. It could be
a romantic relationship, a business relationship or just a friendship. If you feel
someone is taking advantage of you and only using you for their personal gain
without contributing to the relationship in an equal way to how you contribute,
either tell them off or just end the relationship. Don’t let other people use you
and put you down. You deserve better than that.
20. 62.Challenge Yourself
If something is too easy for you then you’re not going to grow and you’ll be
bored out of your mind. You’ll be stuck in your comfort zone and stay at the
same level that you’re at right now, lacking confidence. If you want to become
more confident you need to challenge yourself. You need to do things that push
you out of your comfort zone, things that you may feel nervous or anxious
about. You need to be doing something that challenges you, that forces you to
work harder or think smarter to be able to achieve it. A challenge can be
anything you want, from a sport to approaching strangers to even starting your
own business. It just needs to be something that forces you to push your
boundaries so that you can grow and become more confident.
63.Control Your Emotions
As you read earlier in this list, negative thinking is very bad for building
confidence. In the same way, negative emotions are very bad for building
confidence. Anger, hate, jealousy, depression etc. These emotions are very
strong and very powerful, and it’s easy to let these emotions control you. You
need to learn to control your emotions. By that I mean focus on positive
emotions and not give time or energy to entertaining negative emotions like
anger or hate.
21. 64.Follow Your Heart
In modern society we are conditioned to follow rules and orders. We are
conditioned to believe that the opinions of our parents, teachers and friends are
sacred and that they are ultimately what is the best choice for us. And as a
result we end up living lives where we choose jobs, partners, friends and even
apartments because other people think it would be best for us, while we are
unhappy and depressed yet cannot figure out why. If you are unhappy or
depressed and don’t know why, it quite simply may be due to the fact that
you’re living with choices that other people pushed you to make but that you
would not have made out of free will. It’s time to start listening to your heart,
because with every choice that you make, you know deep inside you whether it
feels right or not. Next time you have to make a decision, don’t do something
that doesn’t feel right inside you. Listen to your heart and let it guide you to
make decisions that align with it.
65.Simplify And De-Clutter Your Environment
I personally think that you cannot be your best self when your environment is
full of clutter, junk and unnecessary things. This weighs you down emotionally
and possibly even obstructs your confidence from being present. Make it your
mission to sift through your whole house. Whatever you need and is useful,
organize it neatly and give it a fixed place. The things that you don’t need or
don’t use, put them in storage, or better yet, sell them or give them to charity.
The simpler and more organized your environment, the easier it is for you to
concentrate on other things and add more emotional energy to those other
things, thus allowing you to be more confident.
66.Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
A very bad habit that most people have is to compare themselves to others.
This is not bad if it really motivates you to work harder or be a better person if
you know that your neighbor works hard and is a good person, but usually
comparing yourself to others makes you feel incompetent and like a loser. It’s
better to have role-models and look up to people and use their success to
motivate you than it is to be jealous of others who have more or who are better
than you. You are you, and not somebody else. If there are things about
yourself that you don’t like, then make an effort to change those things. For the
rest, stop worrying about what others have or what they are doing.
22. 67.Don’t Depend On Something You Cannot Control For Happiness
I know that this is much easier said than done. It’s really bad for your
confidence to depend on some external factor for your happiness. If you
depend on the mood of your partner, or the weather or the results of your daily
efforts for your happiness, then your mood is going to be up and down more
than a giant roller-coaster ride. And when your mood is so unstable, your
confidence really starts to be affected. Try to be happy because you are who
you are, you’re alive and you have the opportunity to create and achieve
something.
68.Realize That Confidence Brings Happiness
You may not be sure of the effects of confidence because you’ve lacked it for so
long. Confidence is a wonderful thing that allows you to have the best of many
aspects of life, and one of those aspects is happiness. When you are a confident
person, you are likely to be a very happy person. Think about super confident
people who you know in your life. Do they seem like happy people? Once you
realize that confidence brings you happiness, it may be a very strong
motivational factor to push you to want to become more confident.
69.Realize That Confidence Brings Success
If you lack confidence and wonder why you don’t have as much success as
you’d like to be having, maybe you don’t understand that a crucial ingredient to
the recipe of success is confidence. You need confidence to believe in yourself,
in your ideas and in your business. You need confidence to allow others to
believe in you and in your ideas. Without confidence, you’re likely to make less
sales and less progress in your financial situation. Understanding how important
confidence is as part of achieving success allows you to take action to become
more confidence so that you can achieve the success you want.
23. 70.Realize That Confidence Brings Better Relationships
Confidence is very good for relationships. It allows you to know what you want
and at the same time say no to the things that you do not want. Being
confident allows you to speak your mind to the person you are in a relationship
with, and as you may know, the better you communicate, the better your
relationships become. And if you learn how to approach women, you will have
many opportunities for new relationships!
71.Realize That Helps You Materialize your Dreams
As if you may not have enough reasons why you should work to become more
confident, here is another one: confidence helps you materialize your dreams.
You can dream about something all your life, but if you don’t take action to
make it come true, the dream will always remain a dream. But it can be scary
and risky to take action to make your dreams come true. And without
confidence, those risks and that fear are going to keep you from taking any
action to make your dreams come true. So go ahead and take action to become
more confident, because you’ll need it if you ever want to make your dreams
come true.
72.Read Books
Back when I was in school, there was a saying above the door of our library:
Read to Succeed. Pretty much everything you can imagine has already been
said or done by someone who walked on this earth in the last 2000 years.
Books can contain wisdom that has taken people lifetime’s to accumulate and
understand. The more you read, the higher your chances are of overcoming an
obstacle or problem you’re facing. If you want a great way how to build
confidence, it’s to read as much as you can about how to become confident. Of
course you have to combine reading with taking action, but you first need to
start with reading. Make it a habit to read a new book every week.
73.Attend Seminars
There are countless good self-help mentors and gurus around the world who
give seminars about a variety of confidence building techniques and personal
development tips. Steve Pavlina for example has some fantastic workshops that
you can attend. If you can afford the price and you have the opportunity, then
attend a seminar about building confidence. Who knows how much it can help
you out.
24. 74.Follow Courses
A simple search in Google about self-confidence courses will reveal hundreds of
results. There is a lot of junk out there, but there is also a lot of super useful
information. Do yourself a favor and buy a course or two about becoming more
confident, and then actually take the time to read the course and follow the
instructions. Once again, only reading is not enough, you actually need to do
the exercises and take action if you want to improve your level of confidence.
To save you time and money from buying junk courses, I personally
recommend this course for overcoming shyness and social anxiety, and
becoming a super confident person. Alternatively check out our confidence
training manual.
75.Watch Inspiring Movies
Movies are good for more than just entertainment. Many movies contain a
strong message, and have actors and actresses who play roles of very
confident, respectful and noble people. You can learn a lot from watching
inspiring movies. A good example would be the movie The Pursuit of Happiness
starring Will Smith. It shows how against all odds, a man with enough
determination to succeed will eventually succeed if he tries hard enough and
doesn’t give up.
76.Listen To Uplifting Music
Music is among the best things that life has to offer. A simple song can change
your mood even when you are angry or sad. Make a selection of uplifting songs
that you can listen to when you wake up, go to gym or even when you’re
driving in your car. Uplifting music can do wonders for your mood and when
you’re in a good mood, you feel more confident to do anything you want.
77.Break Bad Habits
This refers to changing habits that contribute to or are responsible for your lack
of confidence. It includes every bad habit you have ranging from bad body
language, to limiting beliefs to choosing to stand or sit in the corner or the back
of the room etc. Make a list of all your bad habits and start changing them one
at a time. The more bad habits you eliminate, the easier it will be to become
confident.
25. 78.Eliminate Crutches
Another great way how to build confidence is to eliminate your crutches. Now
you may be thinking, “I’m not disabled, I don’t have crutches”. I’m talking
about the metaphorical kind of crutches. Crutches that you rely on for support
or temporary confidence. Things like alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, a special watch,
your favorite shoes. You don’t need these things to be confident, and the
sooner you realize that you don’t need some substance or special something to
feel confident, the sooner you can really let your natural confidence out.
79.Create Something
For some reason it always brings me pleasure and joy when I create something.
It doesn’t really matter what it is, but the fact that my hard work created
something our of nothing always lifts my mood and boosts my confidence.
Think about making music, pottery, drawing, woodwork, building a shed…
whatever you enjoy doing, as long as it means that you create something.
80.Find A Mentor
I’ve mentioned finding role-models to help you become more confident. What’s
even better is to find a mentor, someone who will take you by the hand and
train you to become more confident. Someone who is quick to see what you are
doing wrong, and who can get you to push your comfort zone. Someone who
will stimulate you to build your confidence. You can look for a confidence coach,
or simply just find a friend or colleague who is super confident and ask him if
he or she is willing to be your mentor in return for something they want (money
or help or even you mentoring them at something they need help with).
81.Throw A Party
If it’s too scary to throw a party, just organize a small get-together with some
of your best friends. Tell you friends they can bring some of their own friends
too. Keep it simple, have some snacks and drinks, maybe organize a barbeque.
It will help your confidence because you’ll be the cool person who organized the
party, you’re responsible for other people’s fun. They’ll thank you for showing
them a good time. And you’ll meet new and interesting people who show up at
your party.
82.Have Fun
Some people are just too serious and forget how to have fun. Does this sound
like you? Make it a point to go out and do something dun every now and then.
Go to a club, go to a movie, go play a game of paintball. When you have fun
your mood becomes better, your stress and worries fade away and it’s easier to
be confident with other things in your life.
26. 83.Take Responsibility For Something
A good way how to build confidence is to be responsible for something or
someone. When you are responsible for something not only does it help you
grow up faster and makes you feel important, you need to believe in yourself
because you are the one who has to handle things, there is nobody to do it for
you. You could for example get a pet that you need to take care of, or you can
volunteer to lead a group or teach a class.
84.Start Over
Maybe it’s time to cut the loose ends, let go of your past, forgive yourself and
start over. Start a new life. Get a new job. Make new friends. Find a new
partner for a relationship. It can sound harsh, but if you feel that it would be
best for you and you know in your heart that you would be much better off with
a fresh start, then go for it. Don’t keep walking the same path if it’s been
making you unhappy and depressed all your life.
85.Make The Decision To Change
Have you consciously decided that you want to be more confident? That you
want to be SUPER confident? I know that you want to be more confident, and
kind of wish for it. But until you actively decide to change nothing will happen.
86.Visualize
If you spend a little bit of time focusing on your goals (in this case becoming
more confident) then you are in fact programming your subconscious mind with
your desires. Your subconscious mind can then guide you and help you make
decisions that will help you indeed become more confident. I’ve read a couple
of interesting biographies about successful people who attribute their success to
daily visualization of their goals. Napoleon Hill even talks about this concept in
great detail in his popular book Think and Grow Rich.
27. 87.Step Into Someone Else’s Shoes
A change of perspective can do wonders for your confidence level. Take some
time to imagine stepping into the shoes of someone else. Maybe shadow
someone for a few days, or if you have someone who trusts you and lets them
be you for a day, go for it. See what it’s like living the life of someone who is
confident, and realize that you can do exactly the same. You are confident, you
just don’t know it yet.
88.Remember What You’re Good At
People often make the mistake of focusing on their weaknesses and faults.
When you do this, you’re constantly destroying your confidence and self-esteem
and there’s no chance you’re going to be able to build confidence. I don’t care
what you say, there is something that you are good at. Think about what you
are good at, and focus on those things. You can pull a lot of confidence from the
things you are good at and apply it to other areas of your life.
89.Fix Something
There comes great pleasure from fixing something that is broken. And not only
does it bring joy, it also boosts your confidence enormously. It lets you see that
you are good at something, that you have skills, that you are valuable. And this
belief in yourself helps you build confidence. The stronger your belief in
yourself, the greater your confidence.
90.Post Sticky Notes To Remind Yourself
Are you forgetful or do you lose focus quickly? In that case it would be a good
idea to put sticky notes around your house, work and in your car to remind you
to be confident. You could write down points from this list on different sticky
notes and it will help you stay on track with building your confidence because
you’re constantly reminded of what you need to be doing (and what you do not
need to be doing).
91.Eat Healthier
Exercise is not the only way to get a good body. The food you eat and your diet
plays a huge role in how you look, how healthy you are and how you feel. And
of course, when you look good and feel good, your confidence automatically
becomes higher. So take a closer look at what you are eating. Switch to a diet
rich in fruits, vegetables and lean protein, while cutting out as many processed
foods, sugars and alcohol as you can.
28. 92.Cleanse Your Body
From time to time it can do wonders for your body if you do a cleanse. A
cleanse means exactly that, cleaning your body and ridding it from built up
toxins. There are various types of cleanses you can follow, one being The
Master Cleanse which is a special program where you drink only water, lemon
juice, maple syrup and some sesame seed husks. Another good way to cleanse
your body is to drink nothing but vegetable juice for 3-5 days, no solid food, no
processed food.
93.Stop Trying To Be Perfect
A big obstruction to being or becoming confident is perfectionism. When you
constantly try to be perfect you’re constantly being very critical of yourself and
you’re very likely going to be unhappy with yourself most of the time because
nobody is perfect. It’s good to do your best with everything you do and be the
best person who you can be, but let go of trying to be 100% perfect.
94.Stop Idolizing Others
Idolizing others is similar to comparing yourself to others. Stop putting other
people on a pedestal It just makes you feel inferior and makes you feel like you
are not good enough or worthy to be alive. You can look up to people and use
them as role-models or as inspiration for you to build confidence easier or
faster, but don’t idolize them.
95.Stop Asking For Permission
If you want to build confidence, stop asking people for permission. Do first and
ask for forgiveness later. This will teach you to believe in yourself and to believe
in your idea or your ability to make something work, because if it doesn’t work
you’re accountable for it. Of course if it comes down to something important
and you legally need someone’s permission, then it’s better to do that, but for
the smaller things, stop asking the permission of others.
96.Focus On Solutions Instead Of Problems
There are two sides to a problem: the problem and the solution. Many people
focus just on problems, and guess what… this is extremely negative and
destroys confidence very quickly. Try to focus on solutions, shift your energy to
finding a way to solve a problem rather than focus on the problem itself and
complain about how it’s making your life difficult.
29. 97.Realize You Are Not Alone
The state that you’re in right now, and your life situation is one that thousands
if not millions of people all around the world share with you. You’re not alone
with your fears, insecurities and lack of confidence, and this knowledge should
make you feel a lot more comfortable. The only question is that just because
others have the same problem as you, are you going to settle for staying in this
same situation or are you going to do whatever it takes to become more
confident and create the life you want to be living?
98.Put Fear Aside
Fear is a totally natural phenomenon. It’s designed by evolution to keep us safe
and protect us, but in today’s society we often allow fear to cripple us and hold
us down. Fears are often irrational (like the fear of approaching a stranger) and
serve no real purpose except to hold us back from growth and success. Try to
put your fear aside and do what you’ve always been afraid of doing.
99.Be Patient
Out of these 100 ways how to build confidence, being patient is the most
important one. Building confidence takes time, it’s an evolution. You don’t wake
up one day and become a super confident person. You need to take action,
small steps, for days, weeks and sometimes even months before you see a big
shift in confidence. Sure, you can get temporary boosts in confidence, but
before you truly become a confident person at your core, it takes time. So don’t
give up when you don’t see immediate results, or when you have a bit of a
relapse into lacking confidence. Just be patient and keep working hard at
building your confidence.
30. 100.Subscribe To FlawlessConfidence.com
If you really want to become a super confident person and as a result become
happier, more successful and more free in your life, then you should subscribe
to the email newsletter of this blog.
We will send you daily tips, advice and examples how to build your confidence
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