Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________ Peer Editing: Compare and Contrast Essay 1. First, read the writer's introduction all the way through then respond to the following: a. Highlight the attention getter. Does the first sentence "hook" the reader into the paper? Explain. b. Number the preview of points. Does the introduction correctly state that the paper will discuss “types of work”, “forms of rebellion”, and “types of abuse/punishment”? Explain. c. Underline the thesis. Does the thesis confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what the paper is about? Explain. 2. Next, read the writer's body paragraphs all the way through then respond to the following: a. Underline the topic sentence for each paragraph. Do any of the topic sentences confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what that paragraph is about? Does that topic sentence directly relate to the thesis statement? Explain? Topic Sentence #1: ____________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence #2: ____________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence #3: ____________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence #4: ____________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence #5: ____________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence #6: ____________________________________________________________________ b. Make check marks next to the writer's supporting evidence in each paragraph. Does each piece of support evidence relate to the topic sentence in that paragraph? Explain. If it does not, put an “X” next to that sentence rather than a check. c. Does the writer use transition words and phrases to contrast the subjects and to provide a smooth flow from one paragraph to another? If not, show where the writer needs more of these by writing “TRANSITION” in all capital letters. Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________ 3. Read the writer's conclusion all the way through then respond to the following: a. Underline the restated thesis statement. Does the conclusion restate the thesis in a DIFFERENT way than it was stated in the introduction? Explain. 4. Re-read the writer’s entire paper ALOUD as it is written. Read it all the way through very slowly as you look and listen for errors in grammar and mechanics. Grammar/Mechanic Question Y N 1. Does each sentence start with a capital letter? (Circle all letters that are not capitalized.) 2. Does each sentence end with a period, or appropriate punctuation? (Insert a period whenever necessary) 3. Are there sentence fragments? Does it sound choppy and incomplete when you read it aloud? (Label sentence fragments in the margin.) 4. Are there run-on sentences? Do you not have time to take a breath when you read it aloud? (Label run-on se ...

1. Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s
Name: _______________________________
Peer Editing: Compare and Contrast Essay
1. First, read the writer's introduction all the way through then
respond to the following:
a. Highlight the attention getter. Does the first sentence "hook"
the reader into the paper? Explain.
b. Number the preview of points. Does the introduction
correctly state that the paper will discuss “types of
work”, “forms of rebellion”, and “types of abuse/punishment”?
Explain.
c. Underline the thesis. Does the thesis confuse you, or do you
know EXACTLY what the paper is about?
Explain.
2. Next, read the writer's body paragraphs all the way through
then respond to the following:
a. Underline the topic sentence for each paragraph. Do any of
the topic sentences confuse you, or do you
know EXACTLY what that paragraph is about? Does that topic
sentence directly relate to the thesis
statement? Explain?

2. Topic Sentence #1:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
Topic Sentence #2:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
Topic Sentence #3:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
Topic Sentence #4:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
Topic Sentence #5:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
Topic Sentence #6:
_____________________________________________________
_______________
b. Make check marks next to the writer's supporting evidence in
each paragraph. Does each piece of support
evidence relate to the topic sentence in that paragraph?
Explain. If it does not, put an “X” next to that
sentence rather than a check.
c. Does the writer use transition words and phrases to contrast
the subjects and to provide a smooth flow

3. from one paragraph to another? If not, show where the writer
needs more of these by writing
“TRANSITION” in all capital letters.
Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s
Name: _______________________________
3. Read the writer's conclusion all the way through then respond
to the following:
a. Underline the restated thesis statement. Does the conclusion
restate the thesis in a DIFFERENT way than
it was stated in the introduction? Explain.
4. Re-read the writer’s entire paper ALOUD as it is written.
Read it all the way through very slowly as you
look and listen for errors in grammar and mechanics.
Grammar/Mechanic Question Y N
1. Does each sentence start with a capital letter? (Circle all
letters that are not capitalized.)
2. Does each sentence end with a period, or appropriate
punctuation? (Insert a period whenever

4. necessary)
3. Are there sentence fragments? Does it sound choppy and
incomplete when you read it aloud?
(Label sentence fragments in the margin.)
4. Are there run-on sentences? Do you not have time to take a
breath when you read it aloud?
(Label run-on sentences in the margin.)
5. Are there any spelling errors? Correct the spelling to the
best of your ability by writing the
correct form above the incorrect form.
6. Is each paragraph indented?
7. Are there 8 complete paragraphs?
Final Comments:
Readers Name: Ahmed Al HinaiWriters Name: Abdullah Al
KashriTopic Sentence 1: Men and women worked as salves in
the fields for planting crops moreover thousands of them have
worked as skilled crafts . (clear and does relate to the thesis
statement). Topic Sentence 2: In the southern colonies
specifically in the agrarian societies, most of the slaves’ women
were utilized in fields and for domestic sphere for some
household chores. (clear and does relate to the thesis statement.
It also tells that this paragraph will focus more on discussing

5. female slaves type of work).Topic Sentence 3: Although women
and men both rebelled as they were being exploited by their
masters and were treated brutally for which they need to take
quick action to get rid of being used any more (clear and does
relate to the thesis statement)Topic Sentence 4: Perhaps both
men and women played the different role in the form of
rebellion (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)Topic
Sentence 5: The different forms of punishment were received by
women slaves and men salves as well in the southern parts in
the 19th century (clear and does relate to the thesis
statement)Topic Sentence 6: Contrary to this woman slaves have
also received severe punishments in which their heads were
slashed brutally (clear and does relate to the thesis
statement)Readers Name0: Ahmed Al HinaiWriters Name0:
Abdullah Al KashriChkBox: OnChkBox0: OffChkBox1:
OnChkBox2: OffChkBox3: OffChkBox4: OnChkBox5:
OffChkBox6: OnChkBox7: OffChkBox8: OnChkBox9:
OnChkBox10: OffChkBox11: OnChkBox12: OffTextfield: The
only suggestion that I have is to improve attention getter
because it seems that you immediately went to discuss the
content of the essay rather than gradually moving from general
to specific. Overall, the paper looks solid.
Experiences of male and female’s slaves in 19th century South
1
Abdullah Al Kashri
HIST 172
Professor Jane Dabel
January 16, 2018
Although in the 19th century particularly in the regions of
South men and women have experienced enslavement alike.
Nevertheless, there is the significant difference in the
experience of slavery as genders were different, so they were
treated differently by their owners or masters. For example,
related to work men and women were assigned different kind of
tasks certainly men were given heavy responsibilities however

6. women were assigned household kind of chores mostly.
Moreover, they both have played the role of rebellion
distinctively. Also, both men and women were abused
differently considering their genders they were punished in
different ways by their masters. This paper mainly is identifying
the similarities and differences in the experiences of men and
women slaves in 19th century in Southern regions. Comment by
Ahmed Nasser: A. I believe that the attention getter is fine and
will hook the reader to read the essay. However, there is still a
possibility to improve it because it seems that you immediately
went to discuss the content of the essay rather than gradually
moving from general to specific. Comment by Ahmed Nasser:
1)B. The introduction properly state that the paper will discuss
types of work, forms of rebellion, and types of
abuse/punishment. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 1)C. The
thesis statement is clear for me and it tells me that the paper
will illustrate the similarities and differences in the experiences
of men and women slaves in the South.
Men and women worked as salves in the fields for planting
crops moreover thousands of them have worked as skilled
crafts. In the year 1770 half of the white families of Virginia
owned one slave either men or women. Perhaps men were used
for the variety of work for mostly the job which required
massive skilled capability the men slaves was used. George
Mason has recorded that the men slaves of his father’s mainly
were sawyers, coppers, spinners. Some of the slaves worked as
blacksmiths; they also worked as tanners as well as the
shoemakers. In addition to it, some of the men slaves were also
utilized in the fields for planting the crops[footnoteRef:1].
Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#1: clear
and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed
Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph [1:
Locke, J. (1988). Two treatises of government. California:
Cambridge University Press.
]

7. In the southern colonies specifically in the agrarian societies,
most of the slaves’ women were utilized in fields and for
domestic sphere for some household chores. Quite specifically
women slaves in southern regions worked for planting in the
area, cook, dairymaids, personal servants, and dressmakers.
This kind of chores was explicitly given to them as they found
to be skilled in all these kind of tasks, so they have been given
the work in which they played their skills. Men were mainly not
treated as cooks as they were given heaving kinds of the task as
per their capacities. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic
sentence#2: clear and does relate to the thesis statement. It also
tells that this paragraph will focus more on discussing female
slaves type of work. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting
evidence are provided in this paragraph
Although women and men both rebelled as they were being
exploited by their masters and were treated brutally for which
they need to take quick action to get rid of being used any more.
To gather followers most of the salves have beaten drums so
that to collect the slaves at one place. In this way, they have hit
white, and by combined efforts, they have killed thousands of
whites. Men have murdered white people who were mainly
exploiting them. The slaves have enhanced the population of
salves to generate the stronger community to encounter the
white masters. In addition to it, they have mostly stopped the
plantation system so that to be less used as planters (Douglass,
1845). Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#3:
clear and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by
Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this
paragraph
Perhaps both men and women played the different role in the
form of rebellion. In the year 1739 slaves group in southern
California have seized the opportunity of being rebelled. They
had restored weapons and started playing the rebelled attempts
in the region. Female slaves have also supported men slaves
being rebellion they played their significant part. Females have
burned the farms destroyed the crops of their masters out there

8. so that to damage their valuables. Moreover, they used to add
poison to the food of their master and killed many through this
way specifically all of those who were supporting the system of
injustice were poisoned. In addition to it, they used to steal
food when nobody seems around. In this way, they have played
their significant role by standing with men slaves side by side.
Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#4: clear
and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed
Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph
The different forms of punishment were received by women
slaves and men salves as well in the southern parts in the 19th
century. Perhaps the men slaves were getting severe sort of
punishments for their mistakes from their masters. They were
probably damp to the ground; they were also punished through
uncovering their head and kneel down in the extreme cold
weather. Additionally, the men slaves were mostly being killed
in case they attempt anything beyond the rules by their masters.
Furthermore, the men slaves were tied with ropes and moved to
jails where they were beaten badly where they get wounds and
extremely injured. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic
sentence#5: clear and does relate to the thesis statement.
Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Supporting evidence are
provided in this paragraph
Contrary to this woman slaves have also received severe
punishments in which their heads were slashed brutally.
Particularly the treatment of women slaves varied as per the
time and place they were treated brutally and disgraceful
manner. The women slaves were beaten on their back until
blood came out of their backs and it became intensely injured.
Along with that, the women were tied up for 4 to 5 hours.
However, men and women both were punished distinctively by
the masters, but women were specifically used for sexual abuse
whipping and raped by their masters[footnoteRef:2].
Comment by Ahmed Nasser: 2. Topic sentence#6: clear
and does relate to the thesis statement. Comment by Ahmed
Nasser: Supporting evidence are provided in this paragraph

9. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: Good use of transition words
[2: Douglass, F. (1845). Narrative of the life of Fredirick
Douglass. Boston: Cornhill.
]
In conclusion, women and men enslavement and their
experiences have been highlighted in the above paper. They
both were treated brutally in the 19th century but have faced
different experiences as discussed above. Regarding work, the
men were given the tasks such as tanners, shoemakers, and
blacksmiths whereas women worked as a cook, dressmakers,
and dairymaids. However as per the rebellion role men killed
the whites, they have ended the plantation system. Contrary to
these women have burned the farms, they also used to add the
toxin to the food, and they snatch food when nobody is around.
Last but not the least as per the forms of abuse and punishment
that masters use to give in which men were getting killed, tied
in ropes and women on the other side were beaten and tied for
hours. All this shows that men and women were mistreated as
slaves. Comment by Ahmed Nasser: The thesis Statement has
been restated. Could be improved tho
References
Douglass, F. (1845). Narrative of the life of Fredirick Douglass.
Boston: Cornhill.
Locke, J. (1988). Two treatises of government. California:
Cambridge University Press.