The document discusses the complexities of effective communication, emphasizing that it extends beyond simple expression to include observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs. It highlights the importance of clarity, directness, and congruence in delivering messages while considering body language and vocal elements. Additionally, it warns against contamination of messages and stresses the need for honest, relevant communication.

2. • Expression is a one-way transaction. Its quality and effectiveness
can be gauged by how well was the information or the emotion
delivered.
• One can think of communication as a series of expressions. I think
this view would be very incomplete.
• There is much more to high quality communication than an
exchange of high-quality expressions.

3. There are four categories of Expressions.All need different
vocublary and style:
• Observations:simple facts( from a subjective perspective)
• Thoughts: Conclusions, judgments and inferences.
• Feelings: Emotions
• Needs: Statements about preferences and utilities.

4. • Whole Message consist of :
• observations
• feelings
• thoughts
• needs or wants.

5. • Contamination takes place when your message are mixed or
mislabeled.
• For example, I might be contaminating, feelings ,thoughts,and
observations if I said to my colleague:

6. through introspection and analysis.
attentively analyse your audience
(being overheard raises the risk of
contaminated messages)

7. • You can practice communicating whole message by taking partial and
contaminated messages and adding the missing observations, thoughts ,
feelings and needs.
• Forexample:: you've reminded me four times, and I get the impression that
you think I'm stupid or irresponsible.I feel watched and it makes me
angry.Let me handle this myself,and we can talk about it if "I mess up".

8. • Directness:
Don't assume people know what you think/want.
Hints will get misinterpreted.
• Immediateness:
Negative things become irritants with time.Passive_aggressively slip into
communication.
• Clarity:
Completeness (whole Message)
Be clear about wants and feelings.
State underlying processes, not their results.
• Starightness:
The content of the conversation has to be it's purpose.
No hidden agendas

9. • You can communicate 55% of your message in your body language(mostly facial
expressions).
• The key to clear messaging is congruence.Become aware of yourself enough to
notice incongruences between your words, movements,internal states and
correct them.

10. Body language is learned and differs from culture to culture.Tune into someone else's body language to
help communication (understand what they imply).Body language illustrates and regulates
communication.
Highlight emotions and attitudes.
Can be made make arms and hands,also legs and feet(for example Read the book).
Relaxed breathing=open, straight
Posture=confident
Deep breathing can help to connect with your emotions and take action.
First deep breathing can Also help you to wake up.

11. • Intimate zone(when invaded,feel embarrassed or threatened)
• Personal (still possible to touch,for private discussion)
• Social (close & far sub_phases; interpersonal/dominant & loose/uncoercive yet
open)
• Public (close sub_phase for e.g.teacher_class settings & far for_ celebrities)

12. • Vocal component,pitch, resonance, articulation,tempo , volume and rythm
• Reveals a lot about who you are and how you feel
• An extra level of meaning is created through the choice of words, phrasing and
rhythm.
• "We like you Vs we like you ofcourse"(emphasis on "We" antagonistically
positions others and "ofcourse"implies a form of doubt).

13. • Pitch:moves with feelings(more extreme>more intense feelings)
• Resonance:deep= confident; thin=weak,
• Articulation: enunciation; precise and pronounciation
Slur/drwal
• Tempo:
Slow=thoughtful or indifferent
Fast=persuasive and unsettling
• Volume: loud=aggressiveness/ overconfidence
soft=care/trust or inferiority/unimportance
• Rhythm:emphases change meaning.
" Am Ihappy ! Vs Am I happy"

14. • Record yourself and listen to it.Get used to hearing yourself,get over it and analyse.
• Does your voice reflects what you want to say?
• Is it congruent with your words?
• Is there something you dislike?

15. • Goal:cut the bullshit,stop guessing intent and learn to talk straight.Get
conversation with relevant ,open and honest level.
• Repeat your message in your head and analyse.
• Say out loud what you think the message is.
• Ask if that's what they feel/ think.

16. If you have an agenda, it's impossible to be yourself because you constantly need to prove a point.
Such as
• I'm good
• I'm good (but you're not)
• You're good ( but I'm not)
• I'm blameless
• I'm tough
• I'm helpless,I suffer
• I'm fragile
• I know it all....
Agenda serves two functions:
• Build and preserve your existential position.
• promote ulterior motives and needs.