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Warren Buffett’s verdict Stilted jargon and complex co.docx
- 1. Warren Buffett’s verdict: “Stilted jargon and complex constructions are usually the villains.” -- A Plain English Guide * MARKETING SPEAKS LIKE A HUMAN “… social media has meant that the world of separate internal and external messaging has disappeared. If a customer talks to your Customer Service department, they expect the same response they’d get if they talk to marketing, or sales, or engineering… If you want to build long-term relationships, you’ve got to have a consistent, human voice….” . NICK JOHNSON founder. useful Social Media William Shakespeare
- 2. to be or not to be to thine own self be true All the world’s a stage. What’s in a name? Out, damned spot! Out, I say. * WORD CHOICES HARD ENGLISH • Anglo-Saxon/Germanic/Nordic SOFT ENGLISH • Norman/French/Romance TECHNICAL ENGLISH • Greek/Latin
- 3. * WRITE WITH ‘HARD ENGLISH’ WORD POWER * Bed Cold Drink Father Friend House Kiss Mother Plant See Take Wrong Year ANGLO-SAXON OLD ENGLISH
- 5. * SOFT/TECHNICAL ENGLISH vs HARD ENGLISH * • Consumer-friendly portable receptacle for carbonated liquid HARD: __________________ SOFT/TECHNICAL * • Ligneous or petrous projectiles may have the potential to fracture my osseus structure but pejorative appelations remain
- 6. eternally innocuous. HARD: ____________________ ____________________ SOFT/TECHNICAL hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia HARD: ____________________ SOFT/TECHNICAL Fear of long words… * CREATE YOUR CHECKLIST OF ‘WARNING SIGNS’
- 7. * We hold the belief that our first and foremost corporate responsibility is to provide a synergistic suite of laser-targeted products and services that can be appropriately utilized by members of the medical profession as well as consumers. Hidden or Weak Verbs Abstract Phrases and Jargon Loose Writing CHECKLIST OF WARNING SIGNS: BUSINESS WRITER OR BUREAUCRAT? * We hold the belief that our first and foremost corporate responsibility is to provide a synergistic suite of laser-targeted products and services that can be appropriately utilized by members of the medical profession as well as consumers. Hidden or Weak Verbs
- 8. * We hold the belief that our first and foremost corporate responsibility is to provide a synergistic suite of laser-targeted products and services that can be appropriately utilized by members of the medical profession as well as consumers. Hidden or Weak Verb Phrases Abstract Phrases and Tired Jargon * We hold the belief that our first and foremost corporate responsibility is to provide a synergistic suite of laser-focused products and services that can be appropriately utilized by members of the medical profession as well as consumers. Hidden or Weak Verb Phrases Abstract Phrases and Tired Jargon Loose writing * Original text from Johnson & Johnson credo – considered one of the best from corporate America for more than 70 years… We believe our first responsibility is to the doctors, nurses and
- 9. patients, to mothers and fathers and all others who use our products and services. * 8 words = 100% 14 words > 90% 43 words > 10% COMPREHENSION • Declining attention spans • Computer vs. print reading * BREVITY • Average sentence length: 17 words • Syllables per 100 words: 140-150 *
- 10. Takeaway #3: TAKE THE BREATH TEST * We hold the belief that our first and foremost corporate responsibility is to provide a synergistic suite of laser-targeted products and services that can be appropriately utilized by members of the medical profession as well as consumers. * • added bonus • advance planning • general public • my personal opinion • still continues • true fact • unexpected surprise CHECK FOR REPETITION
- 11. * Consequently ___________ Constitutes ___________ Contains ___________ Construct ___________ Concerning ___________ Currently ___________ CHECK FOR TOO MANY SYLLABLES * CHECK FOR TOO MANY WORDS for the purpose of ___________ the majority of ___________ in order to ___________ to provide a service ___________
- 12. on a regular basis ___________ despite the fact that ___________ * C CHECK FOR VERBS WITH 3 OR MORE SYLLABLES Disseminate ______________ Endeavor ______________ Leverage ______________ Modify ______________ Synergize ______________ the classic: utilize ______________ the newcomer: ideate ______________ *
- 13. Your financial adviser should not be held accountable in the event that you experience a decline in investment income or a decline in total assets. * Your financial adviser should not be held accountable in the event that you experience a decline in investment income or a decline in total assets. Don’t blame us if you lose money. * Takeaway #4: AVOID ‘THOUGHT-STOPPERS’ Implement Facilitate Maximize
- 14. Optimize * This module generates grammatically correct, managerial- sounding text and full-length documents that mean absolutely nothing…. This module does for geeks what lorem ipsen does for designers. Currently supported meta words include… Verbs like: expedite, revolutionize, visualize, facilitate, and maximize. Lingua-ManagementSpeak-0.01 > * Takeaway #5 RUBIN’S SPIN ON THE 80-20 RULE 20% WORDS
- 15. 80% RETENTION * FIND PATTERNS TO BOOST RETENTION & PERSUASION * BABOONS AND PATTERNS - *
- 16. Reader’s Logic: Thought Process Does your structure…? • delay the message • get right to the point • beg questions • anticipate questions • raise problems • pre-empt reader objections • force re-reading • allow quick skim • create gaps • complete the pitch * Reader’s Logic: Symmetry Does your structure promote...? • clarity • brevity • retention bullets? subheads?
- 17. * Litmus Test: Can the reader stop after the first section ? USE ‘BLOT’ STRATEGY: BOTTOM LINE ON TOP * CREATE A MANTRA THAT CAPTURES YOUR MESSAGE • WORD • PHRASE • SHORT SENTENCE *
- 18. “Make Mantra” Video BLOT SET-UP FAMILIARITY BREEDS… • Resonance • Appeal • Memory * BLOT SET-UP IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION • Satisfies readers • Guides thought process *
- 19. . . * CHAPTER HEADINGS VS. BLOT SUBSTANCE * CHAPTER HEADINGS As follow-up to our phone conversation, this memo highlights the fundraising support our company offers. It explains our commitment to work with your local community in a win-win relationship. Grants ……… Database ………..
- 20. Marketing and PR ……… * BLOT SUBSTANCE Following up on our call, I’ll now highlight the steps our company will take to support your fundraising goals. We hope to: • Donate up to $50,000 in grants • Provide a list of potential contributors • Assist your volunteers with publicity An annual package of 20 scholarships -- $2,500 each ……… A database of 500+ names and telephone #s in Middlesex County ………. An on-site consultant for staff training and PR support ………. *
- 21. PROOFREAD WITH A CONTENT PATTERN • E + L + P = P • L o L x 3 = P • F + B + P = P MEMOS AND PRESENTATIONS F + B + P = P FACT + BENEFIT + PROOF = PERSUASION MEMOS AND PRESENTATIONS L o L x 3 = P 3 LAWS OF LIKABILITY= PERSUASION -- Adapted from The 11 Laws of Likability by Michelle Tillis Lederman LAW OF FIRST IMPRESSION LAW OF ASSOCIATION LAW OF RECIPROCITY WIIFM: Ask not what your reader can do for you. Ask what you can do for your reader. *
- 22. E + L + P = P CREDIBILITY + LOGIC + HOT BUTTONS = PERSUASION ETHOS + LOGOS + PATHOS = PERSUASION ALL-PURPOSE Discussion 10 – Topic; Industrialization Begin your answer like this: "Yes (No), the costs of industrialization outweighed the benefits for the following reasons:" First, (50 words or more) Source: (can be hyperlink or Author) Second, (50 words or more) Source: (can be hyperlink or Author) Third, (50 words or more) Source: (can be hyperlink or Author) Fourth, (50 words or more) Source: (can be hyperlink or Author) Background: This chapter highlights the major economic changes that would transform the United States from small, agricultural, rural society into an industrialized, urbanized power. The 1820s to the 1850s were the beginnings of an industrial revolution. The industrial revolution was caused by an increase in population, advances in transportation and communication, and technological development. Note how advances in technology and vast natural resources (most of them found in newly acquired territory) combined with a pro-business government
- 23. allowed American capitalism to expand at will. In addition, manufacturing was booming. Goods were being produced in mass quantities and a large labor force was needed. While many historians have lamented the passing of a simpler life on the farm and the emergence of harsh working conditions, it is also fair to point out that for many Americans economic growth translated into economic opportunities and social mobility. Bad as conditions were, young people left the farm willingly, and millions of immigrants from Europe understood that in America there was a much better chance of improving their lives than in the old country. This is an era when immigration was encouraged and virtually all immigrants came with permission – note that for many decades American business was a strong supporter of immigration because it wanted a large, cheap supply of labor. Also of interest is the growing dichotomy between North and South. Ask yourself why the South remained agricultural while the North became increasingly industrial? Was it a lack of resources, labor, or capital? Or was it the desire of the Southern power brokers to maintain their preferred lifestyle? Should we really fault the Southern aristocracy for seeking to avoid the materialist rat-race of Northern capitalists? Was the South correct in complaining that Northern industrialization was being paid for by the South because high tariffs, in effect, were indirect subsidization of northern businesses?