5. • Predicts higher work performance (three times
better than I.Q)
• Leadership is largely an emotional intelligence.
• All interaction can be gauged along a continuum
from emotionally toxic to nourishing
• Two-thirds of workers say communication
problems are the leading cause preventing them
from doing their best work.
• E.Q. Is one of the best predictors of divorce and
marital satisfaction
• From Goleman & Gottman’s books
6. WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI)?
The capacity for recognizing our own
feelings and those of others, for motivating
ourselves, and for managing emotions well
in ourselves and in our relationships.
8. And who shun the more heinous sins and
abominations; and who, whenever they are
moved to anger, readily forgive; (42:37 )
9. And do not turn your face away from
people in contempt, nor go about in the
land exulting overmuch; surely Allah
does not love any self-conceited
boaster;(31:18)
10. :
The Prophet (may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him)
said, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother
what he loves for himself.”
(narrated by both Sahih Al Bukhari and Muslim).
11. • Not much emphasis on hereditary
intelligence (IQ) but focus on emotional
intelligence (EQ)
• An acquired skills which could be learnt
and practiced by everyone
• A true measure of success in practical
life.
12. IQ EQ
Intellectual interest and
Socially poised
abilities
Ambitious and
Outgoing and cheerful
productive
Not prone to fearfulness
Predictable
or worry
Untroubled by concerns Able to commit to people
about himself and causes
Critical and
Has ethical outlook
condescending
Uneasy with sensual
Sympathetic and caring
experiences
Unexpressive, detached
and emotionally cold
13. Past
No control (Autopilot)
Present
Total control (Alive time frame)
Future
No control yet (Shoot for it)
18. My Boundary The more I know
myself, the stronger will
be my boundary.
Emotions
Ideas
Intellect
Decision Making
19. Door Window
Emotions
Ideas
Intellect
Decision Making
How my Boundary works
• We open for people we are comfortable with.
• Its our choice…….. We own it…….
20. Door Blurred
Window
Emotions
Ideas
Intellect
Decision Making
Holes
Emotional drain
• We suffer… feel exhausted…. Have guilt
• Revenge: Taking past into present
22. Environment 0% Control
Ownership or
Full Responsibility
My Boundary
100 % My Control
My Territory
My Responsibility
My Resources
23. Independence
Person Person
A B
One way
Interdependence
Two way
Co-Dependence
Joint
Relationship
24. Independence
Emotions Emotions
Ideas Ideas
Decisions Decisions One
way
Interdependence
Two way
Short Term Or Long term
Intimacy Co-Dependence
Unhealthy
Healthy
Emotions
Ideas
Double Big Decisions
Boundary Commitment
30. • Your attitude is the primary measure of
emotional intelligence
Gratitude Optimism
Self
Adaptibility
Awareness
31. • The emotionally intelligent person can
take charge of his or her emotions.
• Emotions ebb and flow naturally unless
you sustain them with your thoughts.
• Managing how you think or talk about
your feelings can extend or reduce the
intensity of the emotion.
33. Focus
• on changing yourself and not the other
person.
Disengage
• from antagonistic relationships
Conflict Resolution
• Use better communication or conflict
resolution techniques
34. • Decision
Making
Identify
Strong
Components
Boundary
Work on Total
Controllable Integration
35. How to Solve an Emotional Problem?
Break the Let Go Focus on Anger
Problem Decision
Making
36. • Break The Problem Into
Two Parts:
Stress
Failure
38. I see the limit of what I
Own, Control and am
responsible for!
?
This belongs to me too!
It shouldn’t be this way!
I should get what I want
Me Stressed! Why is it not going the way I want?
The way it SHOULD go?
40. Close the door
Close the Door
when people do
on Stress destructive
things
Me Happily
connecting with
a friend
Person
connecting
Open the door when people constructively
do constructive things
• We open for people we are comfortable with.
• Its our choice…….. We own it…….
47. • Anger Builds on
Anger Love
and
– Anger is never Mercy
without a reason, but
seldom a good one
(Benjamin Franklin) Rage
– Rage rush vs. and
Anger soothed by Anger
merciful thought
48. Those who spend [in His way] in time of plenty
and in time of hardship, and hold in check their
anger, and pardon their fellow-men because
God loves the doers of good; (3-134)
49. The ‘Cycle of Violence’ that bring
Negative Momentum to your life
Anger
Anger
Aggression Agqression
Hurt
Hurt
50. And if you take your turn, then retaliate
with the like of that with which you were
afflicted; but if you are patient, it will
certainly be best for those who are patient.
(16-126)
51. Signal
Courage
Anxiety
Worry
Impulsiveness Complaint
Martyr - Think
52. O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed
to you as it was prescribed to those before
you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint (2-
183)
53. And for such as had entertained the fear of
standing before their Lord's (tribunal) and had
restrained (their) soul from lower desires, Their
abode will be the Garden.
(79-40, 41)
55. A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed
each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and
shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing
home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home,
he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his
walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny
room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. "I
love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just
been presented with a new puppy.
"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my
room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how
I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.
"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up.
I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I
have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed
and be thankful for the ones that do.
