Health Commission of Australiahas found in 2004:• 56 children under 4 on anti‐depressants• 728 children aged between 5‐9 on anti‐ depressants• 4,689 aged between 10‐14 on anti‐ depressants• Nationally prescriptions for people under 19 topped more than 250,000
Some Facts for Kids• 3 % of all 3 year olds have severe tantrums• 10 % of all parents of children 2‐5 years ask for help with behavior problems• Anti‐social behavior accounts for 30‐40% of referrals to child mental health services
What has disappeared?• Gentle touch and games• Fairy tales• Being “present” not just in the room• Playing real hands on games• Games in the car• Human conversation with real people• Simple toys that don’t cost money• Less parent direction
Terrifying Truth• I am the decisive element in the life of a child.• I create so many souls like me.• I have tremendous power to make a child’s life joyous or miserable.• I can be an agent of change.• Pakistan can become a better or worse place because of me.• My Mission Correlates with that of the PROPHETS.
What tends to be your goals ordesires in parenting?• Goals: _____________________• Desires: ____________________
What are your greatest strugglesin parenting?!Answers:• ___________________________• ___________________________
Longer term consequences of not intervening early • Poor relationships with others • Low resilience • Poor qualifications and work history • Low frustration tolerance • Easily upset and see “threat” everywhere • Greater involvement in antisocial behaviour and drug misuse • Families who feel let down, upset, angry or powerless.
10 Characteristics of Great Parents 1. Mindful parent (vision for their children) 2. Authoritative parenting style 3. Understand child temperament 4. Involved in child’s life 5. Think Win‐Win with their children (rules) 6. Co‐parent well 7. Consistent 8. Avoid harsh discipline 9. Explain decisions 10. Respect
Traits of Authoritative Parents • Clear limits and boundaries • Be firm but flexible • Good communication • Do many fun things together • Let child be an individual
Principles of Discipline • Have a few clear rules • Speak simply • Be “blasé” • Be the boss • Be warmly involved • Give only one warning • Don’t get into power struggles • Set expectations and outcomes prior to events/challenges
Positive Parenting • Parent with a plan • Parent in freedom, not fear • Parent with affection, but not softness • Parent with authority, but not coercion • Parent by being an awesome person
There is a mass ofresearch todemonstrate that themore touch a child getsin childhood, the calmerand less fearful he islikely to be inadulthood....
Link child to Allah Ta’alaوإِذۡقال لقمـن لبٱبۡه ۦ وهو يعظهۥ ۥ يـبنى ل َ ّ َ ُ ٰ َ ُ ُ ِ َ َ ُ َ ِ َِ َ َ ُ ۡ َ ٰ ُ ِ ن۬تشركۡببٱللهّنِإ ۖن ٱلشِّرك لظلم عظكيما ٌ ِ َ ٌُۡ َ َ ۡ ّ ُِ ۡ ِ ِ ّ ِ إ Raise according to Quran and Sunnah Be right role model Provide Islamic environment Paint right picture of Allah Ta’ala Stories of Rasulillah (SAW) and Sahabah Ultimate Authority is Allah Ta’ala
Early ChildhoodMedical Behavior Discipline Tarbiya Specific IssuesEating habits Sibling Rule setting Choosing Rivalry schoolsIllness Developing Reasoning Fears SkillsPreventative Reading Positive strokesMeasures Writing Communication Simple Chores
Activity• In groups of three or four prepare a case study or story that you faced and now fit it with the parenting style.