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To understand the roots and causes of conflict


       To understand the potential of conflict
                           for ill or for good

           To learn how to deal with conflicts
               through personal peacemaking

           To learn how to deal with conflicts
             through mediated peacemaking

              To follow God’s principles when
                  conflicts cannot be resolved
Dealing with Conflicts


      Common
     “Reflexes”
In times of conflict
Dealing with Conflicts
• Fight
  – e.g. Cain, Gen 4:1-16
• Flight
  – e.g. Jacob, Gen 27:41-28:9
• Freeze
  – e.g. Joseph’s brothers, Gen 37:1-11
• Form alliances
  – e.g. Potiphar, Gen 39:1-20
Dealing with Conflicts


    The Right
Biblical Response
Dealing with Conflicts
• Face it (Galatians 2:11-14)
  This can only happen if you’re goal is to glorify God
  by…
  Pursuing the will of God
  Practicing the grace of God
  Preserving the truth of God
Dealing with Conflicts

Two kinds of peacemaking
General Guidelines

• Glorify God, not yourself (Colossians 3:1-4)
• Remove the plank in your own eyes first
  (Matthew 7:3-5)
• Personally speak with the person whom you
  have conflict with (Matthew 18:15-17)
• Be reconciled with that person as soon as
  possible (Matthew 5:23-24)
• Get rid of all negative feelings (Eph 4:31-32)
The Seven A’s

1.   Address the person concerned
2.   Avoid “if”, “but” and “maybe”
3.   Admit specifically (not generally)
4.   Acknowledge the hurt you caused
5.   Accept the consequences
6.   Alter your behavior
7.   Ask for forgiveness
Clarifying the Issue

1. Tangible Issue
   An issue pertaining to differences.
   This must be handled through
   negotiation.
2. Relational Issue
   An issue pertaining to offenses. This
   must be handled through
   peacemaking.
Negotiating Differences
The PEACE Process
Problem behavior

Emotions involved

Assessment of motives

Confession and forgiveness

Encouragement for the future
4 Promises of Forgiveness

1. I will not dwell on this incident anymore
2. I will not bring this incident up and use it
   against you
3. I will not talk to others about this
   incident
4. I will not allow this incident to stand
   between us or hinder our relationship
The PEACE Process
Problem behavior

Emotions involved

Assessment of motives

Confession and forgiveness

Encouragement for the future
Dealing with Conflicts

Group Discussion:
• What are your observations about
  the PEACE process?
• What are the challenges of this
  process?
• How can these challenges be
  overcome?

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The pursuit of peace (session 3)

  • 1.
  • 2. To understand the roots and causes of conflict To understand the potential of conflict for ill or for good To learn how to deal with conflicts through personal peacemaking To learn how to deal with conflicts through mediated peacemaking To follow God’s principles when conflicts cannot be resolved
  • 3. Dealing with Conflicts Common “Reflexes” In times of conflict
  • 4. Dealing with Conflicts • Fight – e.g. Cain, Gen 4:1-16 • Flight – e.g. Jacob, Gen 27:41-28:9 • Freeze – e.g. Joseph’s brothers, Gen 37:1-11 • Form alliances – e.g. Potiphar, Gen 39:1-20
  • 5. Dealing with Conflicts The Right Biblical Response
  • 6. Dealing with Conflicts • Face it (Galatians 2:11-14) This can only happen if you’re goal is to glorify God by… Pursuing the will of God Practicing the grace of God Preserving the truth of God
  • 7. Dealing with Conflicts Two kinds of peacemaking
  • 8. General Guidelines • Glorify God, not yourself (Colossians 3:1-4) • Remove the plank in your own eyes first (Matthew 7:3-5) • Personally speak with the person whom you have conflict with (Matthew 18:15-17) • Be reconciled with that person as soon as possible (Matthew 5:23-24) • Get rid of all negative feelings (Eph 4:31-32)
  • 9. The Seven A’s 1. Address the person concerned 2. Avoid “if”, “but” and “maybe” 3. Admit specifically (not generally) 4. Acknowledge the hurt you caused 5. Accept the consequences 6. Alter your behavior 7. Ask for forgiveness
  • 10. Clarifying the Issue 1. Tangible Issue An issue pertaining to differences. This must be handled through negotiation. 2. Relational Issue An issue pertaining to offenses. This must be handled through peacemaking.
  • 12. The PEACE Process Problem behavior Emotions involved Assessment of motives Confession and forgiveness Encouragement for the future
  • 13. 4 Promises of Forgiveness 1. I will not dwell on this incident anymore 2. I will not bring this incident up and use it against you 3. I will not talk to others about this incident 4. I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our relationship
  • 14. The PEACE Process Problem behavior Emotions involved Assessment of motives Confession and forgiveness Encouragement for the future
  • 15. Dealing with Conflicts Group Discussion: • What are your observations about the PEACE process? • What are the challenges of this process? • How can these challenges be overcome?