This document outlines a process for using early childhood classrooms to promote societal acceptance of gay and lesbian families. It discusses exposing children to these family structures through changing the physical environment, language, and conversations to normalize their existence. The goal is for children to regard gay and lesbian families as naturally included in the definition of family without bias, by providing neutral exposure and opportunities for positive personal experiences with these families from a young age.

1. Promoting Societal Acceptance of Gay and Lesbian Families: The Utilization of the Early Childhood Classroom

2. ‘Children raised by gay or lesbian parents will grow up to be of homosexual orientation’ ‘Children raised by gay or lesbian parents will suffer from AIDS’ ‘Children of gay or lesbian parents will be exposed to sexual acts in the home and will be sexually molested’ ‘Gay and lesbian parents impose rigid sex roles on their children’ ‘Role models of the opposite sex are never present for the children of gay or lesbian parents’ ‘Men are entirely excluded in lesbian-headed families’ “Common Knowledge” about Gay and Lesbian Families

3. Due to these factors, the children of gay and lesbian parents: Never develop adequate social skills Struggle to form relationships with peers Do not form relationships with adults of both genders Fall behind in various domains of development Consequences

4. In truth, research shows that gay and lesbian parenting produces no atypical effects for the children in the family system. Children are not more likely to have homosexual orientations or to develop AIDS Children develop normal relationships with peers and adults of both sexes Children are at no increased risk for sexual abuse Children are typical in terms of emotional and behavioral abilities We therefore can come to acknowledge the families as a unique structure, not a detrimental one, and accept them. Myth or fact?

5. Gay and lesbian families, like all other families, are multidimensional. The parents’ sexual orientation does not erase characteristics such as ethnicity and socioeconomic status. The “Unique” Family Structure of Gay and Lesbian Families

6. Each subgroup of a gay and lesbian family, such as ethnicity or socioeconomic status, brings up yet another issue of stereotyping and generalization. Subgroups of Diversity

7. How, then, do we overcome our judgments to reach acceptance of gay and lesbian families?

8. The key to overcoming our underlying judgments is to consider each family on a strictly individual basis, utilizing only experience with the family rather than generalized knowledge acquired outside of that experience. Individualization

9. In the book Skilled Dialogue, a concept called Anchored Understanding of Diversity provides us with a method for individualizing our views of families: “Relationally anchored knowledge tells us what is true in this situation for this person and is derived from direct experience in that situation with that person. If we remain at the abstract unanchored level, however, we can choose relationship only with a generic reality (e.g., a generic male or a generic Hispanic) and will overlook or try to control the specifics that do not match the generic description… Although certainly valuable, such knowledge subtly warps perceptions and interpretations by disconnecting them from personal and experiential contexts” (Barrera & Kramer, pp. 54-55) “Anchored Understanding of Diversity”

10. Underlying thought processes and judgments will always exist. If we are searching for ways to be accepting and creating methods through which to find the ability for reception, then we are drawing attention to the fact that this acceptance is not naturally occurring within us. It is something contrived and is therefore not genuine or authentic. Is this practical?

11. How do we overcome our judgments to reach acceptance of gay and lesbian families? Returning to the question…

12. The core concepts beneath the process are exposure and experience If a child is neutrally exposed to gay and lesbian families in his or her classroom, and if that child has personal experiences with those families, the families will be regarded as ‘normal.’ We want the children’s definition of family to automatically include the gay and lesbian family structure without thought Using the Early Childhood Classroom: THE CONCEPT

13. The majority of Caucasian children grew up with a biased view of African Americans. They had never experienced African Americans; they had no exposure to them. Due to this lack of personal knowledge, they had preconceived notions about the qualities of African Americans. These notions caused the racism that later plagued our country, even after desegregation had taken place. The generation, as adults, could not overcome their childhood frame of mind. But consider the contrast of today. Segregation

14. These notions caused the racism that later plagued our country, even after desegregation had taken place. The generation, as adults, could not overcome their childhood frame of mind. But consider the contrast of today. Segregation

15. It is only logical that in order to create a societal change, we must start when a generation is young. To grow and mature with a given mindset provides a much different path of development than to attempt to alter one’s mindset later on in life. Focus on the Child

16. Keep in mind that in this process, no child should be forced to morally support the family structure We must remain respectful of religious and social beliefs of the families in our programs The primary promotion should simply be an awareness of the structure’s existence, along with exposure and experience to support the awareness Separating Acceptance from Endorsement

17. Now that we understand where we are headed, we can look at the steps that will help us get there... Using the Early Childhood Classroom: THE PROCESS

18. We must become aware of our inability to be fully and impartially accepting of gay and lesbian family structures Admit the presence of preconceptions and underlying thought processes We must recognize that our judgments may be directed towards gay and lesbian structures or any of the subgroups within these structures STEP 1: AWARENESS

19. We need to place our confidence in the current youth generation Just as our actions and beliefs are currently influential, their actions and beliefs will be influential in the future as well STEP 2: TRANSFER OF CONFIDENCE

20. Pictures Posters Puzzles Dolls Games Books STEP 3: CHANGING THE PHYSICAL ENVIRONMENT

22. Heather Has Two Mommies “A story of a little girl named Heather and her two lesbian mothers”

23. A Pet of My Own Gabe tells his dads, “I wish I had a pet of my own.” Gabe tries to decide on which pet he’d like to have.

24. “Take this paper home to your mom and dad” vs. “Take this paper home to your family” Songs Stories STEP 4: CHANGING THE LANGUAGE

25. Several accomplishments: The parents will be more open about revealing their structural composition The child will be more open about revealing his or her family composition Recognizing the Impact of the Environment

26. Not every classroom will have a gay or lesbian family structure Is it important, then, to inform the children in the classroom? Is it possible to provide exposure to the children in the classroom? What if these families are not in my classroom?

27. ADAM: You can have two dads or two moms. MICHAEL (teacher): How do you know? ADAM: I forgot the word. MICHAEL: Just describe it. ADAM: I can’t. JASON: A step-dad? ADAM: No. SANDRA: I know what a boy and a boy is when they get married… (She speaks loudly and distinctly)…Gay. MICHAEL (to Adam): Is that what you’re talking about? ADAM (nodding): Yes. MICHAEL: Uh huh. STEP 5:UTILIZING CONVERSATION

28. “These children in Michael’s class were not being ‘taught’ about gay and lesbian families, but rather encouraged to struggle with definition” (Casper, Cuffaro, Schultz, Silin, & Wickens, 1996, pp. 284-285) Effects of Conversation

29. We mostly have focused on exposure. Experience can occur in the classroom if a family of this structure is included in the program. But how can we give the children experience if there are no families with which to interact? How do we move to ‘experience’?

30. Due to the exposure within the classroom, children will be more open to interacting with these families when they do get the chance Underlying views of the families will not keep the children from interacting comfortably and openly with the families The effects of exposure

31. We are not the first to begin this process. The very fact that gay and lesbian families are currently the central focus of this presentation and of many societal dialogues represents a partial beginning that has already taken place, for it demonstrates a higher level of tolerance for these families in our society. Taking Action