The document provides feedback on a lookbook for a clothing brand. The feedback notes that some aspects are unclear, like what is specifically being sold. It praises the rugged urban photography and descriptive captions. Minor grammar errors and unclear censoring of text are identified as areas for improvement. Overall, the reviewer understands the detective theme and likes the mysterious quality, but suggests making the purpose and theme more overtly clear upfront.

1. Feedback
By Fintan Sedgwick

15. 1. Can you tell what I am trying to sell to my audience and how? I am not entirely sure but it seems to be a lookbook of some
sort for a clothing brand? I feel this because of how you have described specifically what the ‘criminals’ are wearing while
also blanking out their faces which leaves more emphasis on the clothing.
2. Name some aspects you like and dislike and why? I love the rugged urban photography featured in the product as it gives a
real street vibe to the theme and fits in perfect with your detective style used. I also love the fact that the photos each
come with descriptions that tell the reader what exactly the models are wearing and the situation they were found to be
in. the only thing would improve is the grammar used in some text boxes.
3. Do you understand what the theme is and how, do you like the theme? I love the detective style of the project as whole as
it is a good way to convey photos to an audience with a descriptive piece of writing to accompany it. There is a sense of
mystery which pulls the reader/viewer in.
4. Name some improvements which I could make to better my work? It would help a lot if there was a tad more of an
introduction or clue as to what this work is exactly trying to show the audience. This would help the reader connect more
with the product and understand more. I also appreciate the fact that it was designed this way for a reason though.

16. 1. Can you tell what I am trying to sell to my audience and how? Yes I can clearly tell
what you're trying to sell by the consistent theme throughout your art work etc.
2. Name some aspects you like and dislike and why? I really like the design and
photography within your work, it all comes together really well. You have clearly
done your homework on the topic. The only thing I could think of as a change
would be change it up is the locations of where the image were taken. Make the
locations more fitting to the topic.
3. Do you understand what the theme is and how, do you like the theme? I do fully
understand the theme of your work and I can tell by how detailed your layouts
have been created with a very realistic style.
4. Name some improvements which I could make to better my work? I kind of feel
that the cartoon style doesn’t fit within the actually serious topic you were going
for but I understand that's how you have been able to add in more colours and
variety.

17. 1. Can you tell what I am trying to sell to my audience and how? Not really, I think it is a
clothing brand but im not certain, I think it looks really good in terms of the technical ability used to create
whatever it is being sold but I didn’t even realise something was being sold.
2. Name some aspects you like and dislike and why? I like the style of it in general with the
designs and colours over the faces, this is because it seems hard to actually create and it is changing quite a
lot however it is still easy to be able to tell what features they are. Something I didn’t like was the fact I was
confused by the random blocks in the text mid way through sentences, I didn’t really get what that was all
about and what I meant, id rather just know the end of the sentence.
3. Do you understand what the theme is and how, do you like the theme? I think the
theme is to do with breaking the law etc, I think the theme looks good and if that is the theme it is clearly
conveyed well by the use of things associated with this, like the people in the prison lineup mugshots.
4. Name some improvements which I could make to better my work? You could make it
clearer as to what you are actually selling and also remove the blocks which censor words.

18. Summary
• The main thing which I can take from this would be that some people do not like
the black boxes which I have put there on purpose because it probably makes it
more difficult to read what I have put down as I have blacked out clear words.
Besides this the other improvements would be the grammar which I have used in
some of my work. But the positives from the feedback are really nice and I agree
with pretty much all of them when it comes to creative style and how is quite
mysterious, also from the feedback they are quite clear on what the theme for
my project is. Also something which I can agree on would have to be that they
know what I am trying to sell my audience which could be clothing and crime in
the photos. From this feedback I know what I can improve and what I should
which is really helpful because I was previously stuck on what I should either add
or remove from my work so far.