Masterclass handout - Dealing with people you cant stand

1. Know what to do when…

2. 1. Expectations
2. First attempt
3. The test
4. Tools & insights

6. Discovery Dream
DesignDestiny
Definition
Appreciating
the best of
what is
Envisionin
g what
could be
Sustaining
what will be
Co-
constructing
what should be

7. Recognize
and value the
best in
people
Help them to
move
towards their
potential

8. What is/was
working well, that
you need to do
more of?
Explore
Discover

9. Learn to fail,
or fail to learn
Tal Ben-Shahar

10. Others
Yourself

11. Content
Process
Relationship
Personal Program
Emotions

12. Rational
phase
Anihilation through self sacrification
Anihilation of enemy
Limited damage doing
Threathening
Damaged self image
Image and coalitions
Deeds
Debate
Toughening
Emotional
phase
Battle
phase

20. Task Focus
P
a
s
s
i
v
e
People Focus
A
c
t
i
v
e
Normal
behavior
Whiner
No
Nothing
Nothing
Yes
Maybe
Tank
Professor
Sniper
Sniper
Grenade
Fake Professor

21. ✓Goal: Command respect
✓Strategy:
1. Hold your ground.
2. Interrupt the assault.
3. Immediately go back to the
core.
4. Aim for the outcome and fire.
5. Peace with honor.

22. ✓Goal: Uncover the Sniper
✓Strategy:
1. Stop, look, track back.
2. Use search light questions.
3. Use Tank Strategy if needed.
4. Go on a blame patrol.
5. Propose a civil future.

23. ✓Goal: Control the situation
✓Strategy:
1. Grab attention.
2. Aim for the heart.
3. Reduce intensity.
4. Allow time for good behavior.
0. Grenade prevention.

24. ✓Goal: Open for new ideas
✓Strategy:
1. Be prepared and know your case.
2. Track back respectfully.
3. Mix with their doubts and desires.
4. Present indirectly.
5. Make the Professor a mentor.

25. ✓Goal: Disarm the bad ideas
✓Strategy:
1. Give some personal attention.
2. Clear up the details.
3. Tell how it (really) is.
4. Be soft on the person.
5. Interrupt the pattern.

26. ✓Goal: Get real commitment
✓Strategy:
1. Make honest through safety.
2. Be honest.
3. Help the person (learn to) plan.
4. Create commitment.
5. Improve the relationship.

27. ✓Goal: Help (learning) to chose
✓Strategy:
1. Create a comfort zone.
2. Clarify conflicts and options.
3. Use decision making proces.
4. Put at ease.. and then move on.
5. Improve the relationship.

28. ✓Goal: Seduction to talk.
✓Strategy:
1. Plan for enough time.
2. Pose expecting questions.
3. Make/keep it light.
4. Guess.
5. Show the future.

29. ✓Goal: Move to problemsolving
✓Strategy:
1. ‘Go with the flow’.
2. Use the person as resource.
3. Leave the door open.
4. Polarize and flip it around.
5. Recognize and note the good
intentions.

30. ✓Goal: Problem solving alliance
✓Strategy:
1. Listen for main themes and core.
2. Interrupt and make specific.
3. Shift focus to solutions.
4. Show the future.
5. Draw a line.

31. Gustaaf.Vocking@Power2Improve.com.