Bullying in schools is a serious problem that can have tragic consequences. It takes many forms including manipulative bullying, conditional friendships, and exploiting a child's vulnerabilities. When parents suspect their child is being bullied, they should talk to their child to get details, while remaining calm and validating the child's feelings. It is the school's responsibility to provide a safe learning environment, while parents can teach children confidence and kindness to help prevent bullying. Some schools are implementing anti-bullying programs focused on building empathy and community to address this issue.

1. Bullying in Schools: What Every
Parent Should Know
Colette Davis
With school approaching for many and for some already beginning, the concern for the
2012/2013 school year is “will my child be bullied?” It’s a new decade, and bullying has
been in the forefront of the media because of the tragedies is has created. A
massachusetts teen Phoebe Prince committed suicide in 2010 after being bullied-her
death was a result of a new era of bullies. Many times it can be difficult to control what
is happening to your child while they are in school. In fact they will most likely hide it
from you.
Plus bullying takes on several guises, which to the uniformed can easily be overlooked.
Manipulative bullying happens with children who are coerced by another into doing
things that they would not usually do. In many cases children with special needs have
been the victims here. Conditional friendship also happen, where a child believes that
the bully is their friend. When that “friend” is not happy the child will become the victim
bearing the brunt of the anger or maliciousness. Exploitive bullying another form of
bullying focuses on the child’s condition which is used to bully them either by other
classmates or via technology and social media networks.
When a parent suspects that their child might be the victim of a bully, it can be hard to
understand how to address it. First if you think that there may be something wrong with
your child confront the issue. Do not walk on eggshells or ignore the obvious, instead
talk with them. Sometimes the child will be not want to talk, they may be feeling like a
“snitch” or weak because they are unhappy. Tattletales are not the popular kids on the
playground-instead they are picked on even worse. So your child may think that
because they are talking about the problems that they are having in school-they will
automatically become a snitch. Be open and honest, listen to them! Keep the
conversation to a minimum level on your part talking and let the children talk.
After you have heard it all, get the details. Ask more questions about how your child
feels. These children have the right to feel safe in a school environment and you should
be addressing this with your child. It’s important to validate their feelings. Many parents
will be upset that this has happened to their child, it is only natural. Others may be
inclined to spout off angrily themselves. These actions are unwarranted, instead they
only show your child that emotional anger or actions are the way to solve issues. These
very same emotions are the kind that your child is experiencing being the brunt of a
bullies attitudes. Instead cooly nod, accept the information and log it. This way when
you address the teachers and school itself you will be able to let them know logically
what has happened.
You as the parent are responsible to make sure that your children are comfortable, and
it’s the job of the school to make sure that children are learning in the environment that
is provided to them. As a parent you can help to prevent bullying in schools by teaching
your children how to be strong and confident. Teach your children about the power of
kindness. Also instill in them the early warning signs that a person is a bully. Coach
your children that hitting, pushing and calling others names is not how we make friends.

2. Bullying is a serious problem and is common among children of all ages. Psychologist
Dorothea Ross Ph.D., author of Childhood Bullying and Teasing says “There’s an
attitude that we all go through it or even that it toughens you up.” Most parents are still
agreeing with this model, given the recent response on a national survey that stated
50% of parents believe that bullying is not a serious problem.
Why are some children bullies while others are not? The bully is going to hurt someone
who is less powerful, they will use physical and emotional abuse to get it done. Children
are not considered bullies until they are 4 or 5 though. Why? Before this age children
are believed to simply not have the capacity for maliciousness in a directed way.
There has been a lot of counteractive programming created recently to combat bullying.
A program developed in Norway back in the 1980s seems to have a lot of promise in its
applications to American schools. The principal behind it is to educate a culture of
community. In other words, to bring back kindness, peer to peer contact and teach
empathy in the schools and the home. Some schools like that of Gaston County in North
Carolina are taking control of the bullying situation. They have instituted a campaign
called Rachel’s Challenge, a nationally recognized program that was named after
Rachel Scott, the first Columbine tragedy victim. The program focuses on empowering
students to combat bullying with a culture of caring and empathy. Staff are trained and
school activities are created to focus on this mission. It also builds partnerships with
local organizations to help educate parents and locals about the role that a strong
community can have in preventing bullying.
Children today are more at risk of being bullied because the focus of the American
community has changed. In the past students were part of a deeply entrenched
community where neighbors were aware of each other, knew each others children and
kept an eye out for any issues. This culture of caring has been demolished and these
programs are trying to bring it back. If we as a society become vested in our
communities again, perhaps tragedies like Columbine will be averted.