6. Active Listening - A Good
Listener is Like a Good Dancer
Pay attention
Show that you are
listening
Provide feedback
Defer judgement
Respond
appropriately
7. “Listening is a positive act: you have to
put yourself out to do it.”
David Hockney (Artist)
8. Why do we listen?
We listen to obtain information.
We listen to understand.
We listen for enjoyment.
We listen to learn.
Make it count!
9. 4 Levels of Listening
Ignoring
Superficial
Content-level
Empathetic
We retain approx 25% of what we hear
A Good Listener is like a Good DancerPay attention.Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Recognize that what is not said also speaks loudly. Look at the speaker directly. Put aside distracting thoughts. Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal! Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. “Listen” to the speaker’s body language. Refrain from side conversations when listening in a group setting. Show that you are listening.Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention. Nod occasionally. Smile and use other facial expressions. Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.Provide feedback. Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions. Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…” are great ways to reflect back. Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say…” “Is this what you mean?” Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically. Defer judgment. Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message. Allow the speaker to finish. Don’t interrupt with counterarguments. Respond Appropriately. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down. Be candid, open, and honest in your response. Assert your opinions respectfully. Treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated.
Ignoring – we spend most of our time ignoring the sounds around us that would distract us from our immediate task. Some one cutting the grass, the sound of the car engine when driving etc. Only when there is sudden change or a specific reason do we tune in.Superficial – we often listen at a superficial level and make sounds and affirmations that we have heard, when we haven’t. This is particularly true if we find some one boring but we don’t want to offend them. Content-level – when we are listening for content we tend to concentrate on the words rather than how they have been delivered.Empathetic listening involves taking into account all of the signals that the speaker is giving out. This includes their tone of voice and body language and any “hidden” messages that may be there. These can be displayed by non-verbal gestures such as displays of anxiety, anger, displeasure or fear.As your level or listening skills improve, you will be able to identify these more easily.