Active Listening, attending and observing body language help to develop competence in listening. It's important to be self-aware to ensure we are not distracted, judgemental or biased when listening.

1. Listening
A much neglected competence

2. Listening
The ability to effectively listen is an essential
interpersonal skill. On the surface, listening is
simple, routine, requires little effort. But, we
are easily distracted and tend to listen only to
that which interests us (selective listening).
Hearing is not listening. Listening is active,
not passive; it requires skill.
Active listening is effective in improving
relationships and communications with others.

3. Listen like a professional
Carl Rodgers, a renowned psychotherapist described the process, with regard to one of his clients:
‘If I can listen to what he can tell me,
if I can understand how it seems to him,
if I can see its personal meaning for him,
if I can sense the emotional flavour it has for him,
then I will be releasing potent forces of change in him‘
(Rogers, 1961)

4. Active Listening
Attending is the process whereby you convey your full attention
and interest to the person communicating with you.
Gerard Egan defined the acronym SOLER to assist with the
process of attending:

5. Attending
S Squarely face the speaker to confirm you are paying attention

6. Attending
O Open posture conveys attention and interest. Avoid crossing your arms or legs as this
can be perceived as a defensive response
S Squarely face the speaker to confirm you are paying attention

7. Attending
O Open posture conveys attention and interest. Avoid crossing your arms or legs as this
can be perceived as a defensive response
L Lean slightly toward the individual to convey interest and attention. Leaning backwards
conveys disinterest.
S Squarely face the speaker to confirm you are paying attention

8. Attending
O Open posture conveys attention and interest. Avoid crossing your arms or legs as this
can be perceived as a defensive response
L Lean slightly toward the individual to convey interest and attention. Leaning backwards
conveys disinterest.
E Maintain eye contact but do not stare; avert your gaze every so often. Avoiding eye contact,
indicates discomfort or disagreement with what is being said.
S Squarely face the speaker to confirm you are paying attention

9. Attending
O Open posture conveys attention and interest. Avoid crossing your arms or legs as this
can be perceived as a defensive response
L Lean slightly toward the individual to convey interest and attention. Leaning backwards
conveys disinterest.
E Maintain eye contact but do not stare; avert your gaze every so often. Avoiding eye contact,
indicates discomfort or disagreement with what is being said.
R Relax and act naturally to enable the speaker to relax. This is conducive to effective
communication.
S Squarely face the speaker to confirm you are paying attention

10. Active Listening
Active listening requires effort to ensure we
interpret, understand and remember the
sender’s message. This skill is difficult to
master, as we generally begin to evaluate and
formulate a response well before the sender
has completed transmitting the message.
Questioning what is being said without
understanding the full meaning of the
message can lead to unnecessary debate, and
may frustrate the sender and prevent the
completion of the communication.

11. 3 parts to listening
✤ Observe the non-verbal behaviour of the
sender while listening carefully to what is
being said.
✤ Listen intently and strive to understand
what is actually being said.
✤ Be aware of the need to listen. At the same
time be conscious of your own internal
feelings about the topic being presented to
you.

12. Active listening seeks to achieve a greater understanding of the
content, intent and feelings
behind the message being transmitted.
behind the message being transmitted.
behind the message being transmitted.

14. Behaviour
Changes in facial expression, eyes moistening, frowning, narrowing of eyes or smiling are all
clues as to how the sender is feeling.

15. Behaviour
Changes in facial expression, eyes moistening, frowning, narrowing of eyes or smiling are all
clues as to how the sender is feeling.
Changes in eye contact are directly related to emotions. If the sender cannot maintain eye
contact and looks away suddenly, this may indicate difficulty with an emotional issue.
Conversely, if the sender gazes openly into your eyes they may be about to confide in you.

16. Behaviour
Changes in facial expression, eyes moistening, frowning, narrowing of eyes or smiling are all
clues as to how the sender is feeling.
Changes in eye contact are directly related to emotions. If the sender cannot maintain eye
contact and looks away suddenly, this may indicate difficulty with an emotional issue.
Conversely, if the sender gazes openly into your eyes they may be about to confide in you.
Changes in posture can signify changes in feelings. Leaning back indicates disengagement
from a stressful topic or relief that a stressful situation has passed. Leaning forward suggests
that the sender has strong feelings on the topic and cannot easily be dismissed. Turning away
indicates the sender wants to avoid further communication.

17. Behaviour
Changes in facial expression, eyes moistening, frowning, narrowing of eyes or smiling are all
clues as to how the sender is feeling.
Changes in eye contact are directly related to emotions. If the sender cannot maintain eye
contact and looks away suddenly, this may indicate difficulty with an emotional issue.
Conversely, if the sender gazes openly into your eyes they may be about to confide in you.
Changes in posture can signify changes in feelings. Leaning back indicates disengagement
from a stressful topic or relief that a stressful situation has passed. Leaning forward suggests
that the sender has strong feelings on the topic and cannot easily be dismissed. Turning away
indicates the sender wants to avoid further communication.
Involuntary body movements, leg movements, shifting stance, arm and hand movements all
‘leak’ strong feelings experienced by the sender.

18. A skilled listener is sensitive to the unconscious body
language of the sender and takes the appropriate action.
In western culture, nods and head shakes confirm positive
affirmation or negative rejection respectively. The degree of
movement indicates the strength of the feelings associated
with it.
Watch for uneasiness, getting up, walking around and
performing trivial tasks; these are significant and suggest
unease about the topic under discussion.
It is important to interpret accurately these non-verbal body
movements, taking care not to jump to the wrong
conclusions.

19. BEF Listening Model
To help transition from listening to active listening be aware of:
B Behaviour. What behaviour is being demonstrated and why?
E
Experience: Has the sender’s experience in the organisation affected them? It is
important to establish to what extent their behaviour is influenced by their experience
F
Feelings: If you can unearth the sender’s real feelings then you have unlocked the
key to really understanding them. This is significant and may be accompanied by an
unexpected emotional display.

20. Be Self-Aware
DIStract
ions

21. Be Self-Aware
DIStract
ions
Are you tired, sick, worried, over eager to help and thinking of
possible solutions? Are you recalling similar personal
experiences?
Be mindful of distractions so you can hear and understand the message fully

22. Be Self-Aware
JUDGEment

23. Be Self-Aware
Are you filtering what is being said through your own judgement?
Do you like or dislike the sender?
JUDGEment
Be mindful of being judgemental so you can hear and understand the message fully

24. Be Self-Aware
Bias

25. Be Self-Aware
Do you have prejudices?
These can relate to gender, age, religion, race, roles, etc
Bias
Be mindful of being biased so you can hear and understand the message fully

26. Listening Competency
✤ Make appropriate eye contact. This is the most reliable way to indicate you are listening.
✤ Use nods and facial expressions to acknowledge what is being said.
✤ Avoid distracting gestures or actions such was glancing at your watch, playing with a
pen, or shuffling papers.
✤ Ask questions for clarification. This assures the other person you want to understand
what is being said.
✤ Summarise the speakers points. Clearly indicates you have been listening and is an
excellent check for accuracy.
✤ Avoid interrupting - allow the speaker to finish before responding or asking questions.
✤ Avoid over talking.

27. Main Images courtesy of NUI Galway Stephanie O’Boyle