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50 Tips on Excellent
Communication for Life
PART 6.
Presented By:
Tim Ervin
Counseling for Solutions, LLC
150 Tips on Excellent Communication for Life

40. Communicate Effectively through
Social Media
If you are living in the 21st century and you are
not aligned with Social media and the purpose
of the most popular channels involved in it:
then you are missing loads of massive
interaction going on around you. Here are some
highlights on how some popular type of social
media are classified:

The purpose and utility of
popular social media
channels

The purpose and utility
of popular social media
channels

Communicate Effectively through Social
Media
Proponents of social networking sites say that the online communities
promote increased interaction with friends and family; offer teachers,
librarians, and students valuable access to educational support and materials;
facilitate social and political change; and disseminate useful information
rapidly.

Communicate Effectively through Social Media
Opponents of social networking say that the sites prevent face-to-face
communication; waste time on frivolous activity; alter children’s brains
and behavior making them more prone to ADHD; expose users to
predators like pedophiles and burglars; and spread false and potentially
dangerous information.
However the masses who communicate over social media consider it an
indispensable channel, here are the figures:

Media
Every day, Face book manages 2.7 billion "Likes,” 300
million photo uploads, and 2.5 billion status updates
and check-ins. Twitter, the second largest social
networking site, had an estimated 107.7 million users
in the United States (as of Jan. 31, 2012) and 500
million worldwide users (as of Sep. 28, 2012).

Media
Pinterest is the third largest social network with
23 million unique visitors in July 2012, followed
by LinkedIn, Tagged, Google+, and MySpace.
59% of all Internet users use at least one social
networking site.

A funny and summarized
comparison posted on
selected Social Media

41. Be in the Right Frame of Mind
Being in the right frame of mind contributes to
successful assertiveness techniques such as:
Anticipate other people's behavior and prepare
your own responses.
 Role-play in your mind how things are likely to
happen.
Prepare other people to support and defend you.

“In adversary, remember to keep an even
mind.”
Horace
Great Roman lyric poet

Make it motivating for others to communicate
with you.
If you are under the pressure of a certain “Noise
Factor” make it clear so nobody misinterprets your
attitude.
42 . Make it Easy for Others to
Understand and Be Understood

Make it Easy for Others to
Take it easy on others if they are influenced
by any physical or psychological pressure.
Be logical and have down-to-earth
expectations that “Noise Factors” obstruct good
communication and in turn the willingness to
cooperate.

Make it Easy for Others to
Consequences motivate: People are
motivated by the consequences they
anticipate.
Match method to circumstances: when
people simply want to know, explain what
needs to be done and why.

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be
Understood
When others face ability-barriers don’t pressure them; try to offer any
support.
Jointly explore root causes. Take care to avoid jumping in with your own
solutions and conclusions. Empower others by allowing them to diagnose
the real cause and to come up with workable solutions. Ask: “What do you
think it’ll take?”

Make it Easy for Others to understand and Be
Understood
When others can’t identify all the causes or a problem, jointly explore the
underlying forces (Include yourself). Stimulate a brainstorming process by
including your own view of what some of the barriers may be.
Once you are finished with surfacing and resolving ability barriers, “pop
the question”. Check if others are willing to do what’s required once you’ve
taken steps to enable them.

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be
Understood
Search for the consequences that matter for the other person.
Finish well; wrap up the conversation by who does what and by when. Then
set a follow-up time.
Try to make commitment painless for people who communicate with you and
give them the enough time and space they need (considering their personality
type).

43. Use the FF Rule (be Focused
and Flexible)
Remember this tip: being focused and flexible
will help you move fast forward and getting
what you need. This Rule anchors on having
good listening and problem solving skills.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and
Flexible)
When new problems emerge, remain flexible enough
to deal with them – without losing focus.
Each time you step up to a problem it should be by
choice not by accident.
When people feel unsafe, step out of the discussion
bring the listener to a comfort zone, then slowly return.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible)
When people don’t deliver on a promise because “something came up” ,
deal with it and bring it to other’s attention that must let you know when
plans need to change as soon as possible in order to avoid having the recurr
again in the future.
Whenever a bigger problem emerges, step out of the original problem,
leave a bookmark so you’ll know where to return, and then start over with
the new problem.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible)
 Once you’ve dealt with the emerging problem return to the original
issue.
 When others become upset, retrace their path to action to the root
cause; talking about the facts will help you dissipate negative emotions
and will take you to the place where you can resolve the problem.

44. Seek Win-Win Problem Solving
Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes,
what’s in for him or her? What are their
preferences? ..and give this equal weight of
importance to your priorities as you are
communicating along.

45. Keep Your Promises
This is important to maintain the trust factor in
your experience, reputation and credibility and
to provide an anchor for a long-term
communication. Therefore you need to be
logical to promise only what you can deliver.

46. Meta-talk
"Metatalk" is talking about how to communicate -
i.e. cooperative discussion between partners
about their shared communication process. Use
this skill to describe your communication so you
can affirm what works, and improve what doesn't.

47. Use the “I” Message
Using "I" messages is part of effective
communication. It is proven that using "I"
messages will help solve situations, because
rather than blaming the other person, you're
simply telling them how you feel.

Use the “I” Message
1. Identify the situation or behavior you dislike.
What is bugging you?
2. Recognize and state how what you disliked has
stirred unwanted feeling inside you: e.g. “When I do
something for you and you don’t thank me I feel I
am unappreciated and this annoys me”.

Use the “I” Message
3. Ask for a solution. Simply ask for a solution! E.g.
“So next time I help you with fixing your equipment
I need you to simply smile and say thank You.
4. End your message with something like “I would
be happy if you didn’t take my time for granted and
motivated me to give you a hand”.

Summary Diagram
on using
“I Messages”

48. Use Mirroring Techniques
Is the behavior in which one person copies another
person usually while in social interaction with them.
It may include miming gestures, movements, body
language, expressions, tones, eye movements,
tempo, accent, attitude, choice of words or
metaphors, and other aspects of communication.

Use Mirroring Techniques
Mirroring is common in conversation. The listeners
will typically smile or frown along with the speaker.
Since people usually accept their mirror image with
ease, mirroring the person with whom one is
speaking generally makes them feel more relaxed
and encourages them to open up.

49. Remember Names
Repeat your listeners name/ nick name again
and again: people love hearing their names.
In case you are communicating with someone
for the first time here are ways to remember
his name:

Remember Names
Understand the importance of using another
person’s name: it’s a way of acknowledging
and valuing them.
Listen well to what the speaker’s name is. If
you missed it ask him to repeat it again

Remember Names
Trust yourself and don’t spread the news that
you’re not good at remembering names.
Write it down; on your hand , on the mobile
on a piece of tissue...whatever!

Remember Names
Repeat the person’s name again and again as you
address him while talking.
Associate the person’s name with the name of
another person you know well.
Study the person’s face well and mark something
about him/her you can remember well.

"There is no sound so sweet as the sound of
one's own name"
William Shakespeare
Great British Playwright

50. End on a Positive Note
It’s long been known that “First Impressions
last” but amazingly there’s a growing
awareness that “Last Impressions last even
more”. So no matter how the encounter
started; you as a professional communicator
need to land on a positive note.

50. End on a Positive Note
Say Thanks, for your communication partner’s
attention, support and time.
Smile
Shake hands or salute

50 Tips on Excellent
Communication for Life
Presented By:
Tim Ervin, LCPC

References and Resources
bbc.co.uk
Buinessballs.com
Cartoonstock.com
Dorazsays.wordpress.com
Ehow.com
Journeyanswers.com
Men come from Mars Women Come from Venus, John Gray
Readingbodylanguage.co.uk
Sfhelp.org
s.feedio.net
Utube.com
vi.sualize.us

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