This document discusses the concept of forgiveness from multiple perspectives. It begins by defining forgiveness as both a behavior ("I forgive you") and an emotion (moving from anger to acceptance). Later sections explore correlates of forgiveness such as cognitive complexity and positive affect. The document also examines whether some people are more forgiving than others, and whether forgiveness is a trait or state. It outlines a three stage process for achieving forgiveness and four factors that can predict forgiveness. Features of transgressions that impact forgiveness are discussed. The best predictor of forgiveness is identified as the empathy one feels for the transgressor. The potential "dark side" of forgiveness is also noted.

1. Communicating Forgiveness

2. What does it mean to forgive?

3. Is forgiveness an emotion or a behavior? Both: Behavior = “I forgive you” Emotion = Moving from anger to acceptance

4. Why should we forgive?

5. Correlates of Forgiveness Cognitive Complexity (+) Positive Affect (+) Rumination (-) Vengeance (-) Hostility

6. Other Correlates: Anger, Depression, Anxiety, & Satisfaction

7. Are some people more forgiving than others?

8. State vs. Trait

9. State vs. Trait How we get to Forgiveness

10. State vs. Trait Our disposition to forgive across all situations

11. Heartland Forgiveness Scale 3 Domains of Forgiveness Self Others Situation Predicts about 22-44% of the variance

12. Stages To Forgiveness

13. Three areas of Forgiveness Cognitive Emotional Behavioral

14. Stage 1 – Impact of the Event

15. Stage 1 Cognitive – Our relationship is out of balance Emotional – Overwhelmed Behavioral – I want my partner to pay

16. Stage 2 Meaning Construction

17. Stage 2 Cognitive – Why did he do this to me? Emotional – I am in touch with my emotions Behavioral – I begin to collect information on the transgression

18. Stage 3 - Moving On

19. Stage 3 Cognitive – I can see beyond the transgression Emotional – I am no longer angry Behavioral – I know where the relationship is going

20. Four Factors to Predict Forgiveness Personality Characteristics of the relationship Characteristics of the transgression Socio-cognitive determinates of forgiveness

21. Features of the transgression

22. What are your Unforgivable Transgressions?

23. How should we apologize?

24. How would you want to find out about the transgression?

25. Disclosing the Transgression Unsolicited 3rd Party (friend told you) Red-Handed (caught him in the act) Interrogation (grill him till he confesses) Unsolicited Confession (he tells you) The Best Predictor of Forgiveness Yet… 43% reported that the discovery led to the termination of the relationship (higher for the opther three (Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001)

26. Negative Responsibility Attributions Social-Cognitive Model - Relational Quality - Forgiveness + + Empathy for Transgressor (Fincham et al., 2002)

27. The Dark Side of Forgiveness Why might the act of forgiving be detrimental to a relationship?

28. The Dark Side of Forgiveness Apology = humiliation Forgiveness = weakness

29. Next Class Chapter 15 Final Exam May 5  12:30 Pick up a Blue Book from the book store Open Notes, not Open Book Essay style. For preparation: Know three or four theories that we have discussed in class really well. Organize your class notes. You can also refer to the slides and lectures posted. Think application!