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Breaking Up<br />Why she left me…<br />
Why do people divorce?<br />Infidelity – 21.6%<br />Incompatibility – 19.2%<br />Drinking/ Drug Abuse – 10%<br />Growing a...
What role do you think finances play in divorce?<br />
Young Marriages<br />
Young Marriages<br />Immaturity<br />Financial Resources<br />Perceptions of Being Tied Down<br />Poor reasons for getting...
Do Opposites Attract?<br />
Oppositions<br />Culture<br />Education<br />Intelligence<br />Attractiveness<br />Health<br />Commitment<br />Attitudes t...
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse<br />Gottman (1994)<br />
 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />
 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />Sati...
 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />Diss...
Save Your Marriage<br />Soften the start up<br />Focus on what you want, not on what you do not want.<br />Respond with op...
How We Break Up<br />Breaking Up – Part 2<br />
Duck’s Model of Breaking Up<br />
Intra-psychic Processes<br />
Dyadic Processes<br />
Social Processes<br />
Dark Side<br />Why can the social processes stage be the most detrimental to the relationship?<br />
Grave Dressing<br />
Resurrection<br />
Knapp’s Stages of Coming Apart<br />
What is the problem with Stage Models?<br />
Catastrophe Theory<br />
How do you break up?<br />How would you prefer your significant other to dump you?<br />
What about the kids?<br />Kids of divorced parents:<br />More likely to be depressed<br />Less satisfied with life<br />Ha...
Why are kids from divorced families more likely to divorce?<br />
Good News!<br />These differences are reduced when the divorced parents maintain a positive relationship <br />It is bette...
What are some other benefits to breaking up?<br />
The Final Exam<br />Two required questions:<br />Define IPC (contrast against other forms of communication, break down the...
The Final Exam<br />What I will grade on:<br />Accuracy (do you use the correct terms, do you understand the concept?)<br ...
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Ipc lesson plan 20 why relationships end

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Ipc lesson plan 20 why relationships end

  1. 1. Breaking Up<br />Why she left me…<br />
  2. 2. Why do people divorce?<br />Infidelity – 21.6%<br />Incompatibility – 19.2%<br />Drinking/ Drug Abuse – 10%<br />Growing apart – 9.6 %<br />Personality – 9.1%<br />Lack of Communication – 8.7%<br />Abuse – 5.8%<br />Loss of Love – 4.3%<br />Irresponsibility – 3.4%<br />Work Problems – 3.4%<br />
  3. 3. What role do you think finances play in divorce?<br />
  4. 4. Young Marriages<br />
  5. 5. Young Marriages<br />Immaturity<br />Financial Resources<br />Perceptions of Being Tied Down<br />Poor reasons for getting married in the first place.<br />To get away from family<br />40 % divorce rate for those married between 18-19<br />24% when married after 25<br />
  6. 6. Do Opposites Attract?<br />
  7. 7.
  8. 8. Oppositions<br />Culture<br />Education<br />Intelligence<br />Attractiveness<br />Health<br />Commitment<br />Attitudes toward Sex<br />
  9. 9. Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse<br />Gottman (1994)<br />
  10. 10.
  11. 11. 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />
  12. 12. 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />Satisfied couples complain about specific behaviors.<br />
  13. 13. 5 Complaints<br />Behavior<br />Personal Characteristics<br />Performance<br />Appearance<br />Meta-complaining<br />Dissatisfied couples complain about personal characteristics<br />
  14. 14.
  15. 15.
  16. 16.
  17. 17. Save Your Marriage<br />Soften the start up<br />Focus on what you want, not on what you do not want.<br />Respond with open-ended questions<br />Accept emotional bids<br />Express Appreciation<br />Repair Conversations<br />Establish rituals for connection<br />Accept influence <br />
  18. 18. How We Break Up<br />Breaking Up – Part 2<br />
  19. 19. Duck’s Model of Breaking Up<br />
  20. 20. Intra-psychic Processes<br />
  21. 21. Dyadic Processes<br />
  22. 22. Social Processes<br />
  23. 23. Dark Side<br />Why can the social processes stage be the most detrimental to the relationship?<br />
  24. 24. Grave Dressing<br />
  25. 25. Resurrection<br />
  26. 26. Knapp’s Stages of Coming Apart<br />
  27. 27. What is the problem with Stage Models?<br />
  28. 28. Catastrophe Theory<br />
  29. 29. How do you break up?<br />How would you prefer your significant other to dump you?<br />
  30. 30. What about the kids?<br />Kids of divorced parents:<br />More likely to be depressed<br />Less satisfied with life<br />Have poor relationships<br />More likely to divorce<br />Make less $$$<br />Poor Health<br />
  31. 31. Why are kids from divorced families more likely to divorce?<br />
  32. 32. Good News!<br />These differences are reduced when the divorced parents maintain a positive relationship <br />It is better for the kids to divorce than to stay in a bad relationship.<br />
  33. 33. What are some other benefits to breaking up?<br />
  34. 34. The Final Exam<br />Two required questions:<br />Define IPC (contrast against other forms of communication, break down the various parts)<br />Theory application.<br />Four essay questions out of several.<br />One question from each chapter, so know four chapters really well<br />
  35. 35. The Final Exam<br />What I will grade on:<br />Accuracy (do you use the correct terms, do you understand the concept?)<br />Answer depth (did you explain it in enough depth to demonstrate your understanding of the concept?<br />Application (do you use examples from specific real life experiences: you, a friend, a character in a film)<br />Cross Referencing (are you bringing in specific concepts from the text? A+ answers are able to connect multiple concepts and chapters)<br />

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