To have a positive understanding of human sexuality

2. Sexuality
The energy for life and communication
Ronald Rolheiser
Beautiful Gift,
Sacred Energy
Powerful Gift by God
Not a mere genital pleasure
Freud
Most powerful energy
Creative power / energy
Misunderstanding= Psychological disorders

3. Primary Sexuality
Genital Sexuality
Affective Sexuality
3 Aspects of Sexuality

5. Primary
Sexuality
Primarily one is male / female
Sexual Existence
Gender Identity & Acceptance
Genital
Sexuality
Sexual expressions,
sexual fantasy,
attractions, desires

6. Emotions, Love, Feelings,
Closeness,Warmth, Intimate
Relationships, Mutuality,
Friendship, Sensitivity, Other
centeredness
Affective Sexuality

7. Affective Sexuality
…..some forms of intimate relationship
(Primarily I am a Human person….Then Priest)
- Motivated to relate with everyone
- Closeness in personal and social
relationship
- For the service of others
- Creative persons ( Music, songs, books…)

8. Affective Sexuality
Mature expressions of one’s
feelings and emotions
Healthy integration of
sexual energy
Acceptance of one’s
own Sexuality – others
Relationship / Friendship is important
Person is important

9. Robert Stoller
There is an unconscious link
between sex and aggressiveness
This can Block the development of
Personality
Hostility, Revenge,
Arrogance, Violence

10. Affective Phenomena –
4 Possible Combinations
1. Emotions =
(Envy, Anger, Guilt, Sexual desire)
2. Sentiments = ( Love & Grief)
3. Moods =
(Being Cheerful, satisfied, Gloomy)
4. Affective Traits

11. Manage your Emotions
otherwise the Emotions
will manage U
Emotions = Result of thinking
Rationally or irrationally

12. Emotions = Shorter Time
Sentiments & Moods
= Hours, days, Weeks, Months
Properties are Pain and Pleasures
Affective Traits = Life Time
Felt Tendency towards anything
Intuitively Evaluated as Good / Bad
Tendency / Strong subjective response

13. Management of Emotions - 4 levels
Passive Dependent ….( I Loose….u win)
Aggressive: ( I Win….u Loose)
Passive Aggressive : ( I Loose…..u also Loose)
Assertive: ( I win….U win)
Heal the Emotions
- Become Aware
- Acceptance
- Regulating
- Expressing

14. Expressing the Emotions
Unhealthy ways
Push it to the unconscious,
Suppress it,
Repression…( keep quiet,
no reaction)
Acting out
Healthy ways
- Dialogue,
- Share with
your friend,
- Self-dialogue

15. Affectivity
A feeling or emotion as distinguished
from cognition, thought, or action
Affect is a felt tendency towards
anything which is intuitively
appraised as good / bad or
(beneficial /harmful)

16. Ability to feel one’s emotions and to
deal with it in a mature and prudent
way
Ability to deal with the negative
emotions of anxiety, anger, sadness
and fear without being overwhelmed
by them.
Affectivity

17. It is to know that I am a relational
being to relate to oneself, others and
with God
Three requirements for affectivity
a) self-awareness
b) The ability to canalize
c) self-esteem

18. Self acceptance and
Responsible for
Genuine Human Relationships. The
more friends we have, the happier we
are.
LKM
= LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION

19. RELATIONSHIP
PROBLEMS
a. Withdrawal
b. Over-dependence

20. Causes:
1. Cultural Background
2. Negative View of Women / others
3. Caste Barriers
4. Overstress on Talents
5. Low Self Esteem
6. Identity Crisis
7. Negative View of Sexuality
8. Narcissism

21. Relationship (superiors,
peers, inferiors) is
characterized neither by
dependence, nor by
independence, but by
interdependency

22. Relationships….
- Confusion
- Conflict
- Misunderstanding & Jealousy
Meaningful Relationship
- Spirit of dialogue
- Attraction,
- Admiration,
- Appreciation

23. Tensions
Flight
Fight
Face

24. SIGNS OF
AFFECTIVE
SEXUALITY

25. Capacity to face reality
and confront it, rather
than escape from it

26. Accept and integrate
one’s needs with
values and attitudes

27. Needs
- Human persons born with
needs
-They are innate / inherent
potentials
- if they are met then one will
be happy / sad
- 21 basic Needs by Murray

28. Positive / agreeing Needs
- Achievement
- Organization
- Affiliation
- Nurturance
- Counteraction
- Knowledge
- Domination
Negative / non
agreeing Needs
- Abasement
- Aggression
- Avoidance of failure
- Exhibition
- Harm Avoidance
- Sexual gratification
- Succourance
Neuter Needs
-Autonomy
- Acquirement
- Submission
- Playfulness
- Recognition
- Change
- Excitement

29. PHYSIOLOGICAL
SAFETY
ACCEPTANCE
ESTEEM
SELF- ACTUALIZATION
HIERACHY OF NEEDS

30. Capacity to tolerate others

31. Flexible and
service-mindedness

32. Expecting the other person for one’s
own security and gratification.
Love others for what they are, and
not for what they offer;
not with the anxiety of getting, but
with the creative love of giving.

33. A basic interior security

34. A basic trust towards others

35. AFFECTIVE
RELATIONSHIP

36. - Cheerful disposition
- Positive self – image
- Control over impulses
- Ability to cope with
stress and anxiety
- Sensitivity to others’
needs & feelings

37. - Capacity to tolerate
frustration
- Openness to corrections
- Sense of humour
- Spirit of endurance
- Ability to delay
gratification

38. Being
Doing
Having
In Relation with