This presentation gives all of the consideration needed in order to develop a mentorship system with the church or in the community

1. MAKING THE MOST OF
BEING A MENTOR &
SETTING UP A SYSTEM
Presented by Janel P. Phillip – BSc, MSc.

2. Mentor Workshop Objectives
o Define the purpose of
mentoring.
o Prepare the mentors for the
realities of the mentoring
experience.

3. Mentoring Purpose#1
“Mentoring is about the
FUTURE. It is about changing
the world by opening it up
(increasing the awareness) for
young people.”

4. What is Mentoring? :
 Mentoring is a relationship with its
primary focus on the mentor, along
with the parents, providing friendship,
support and guidance for the mentee.
 A mentoring relationship can take
many forms. In the best relationships,
the mentor helps the mentee establish
and achieve his/her goals.

5. The Bible on Mentorship
 Proverbs 22:6Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old
he will not depart from it.
 Titus 2:3-5 ESV /Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not
slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so
train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-
controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own
husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
 Proverbs 27:17 ESV /Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
 Psalm 145:4 ESV /One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
 1 Peter 2:1-2 ESV / So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy
and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual
milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation
 1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV / Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ
 See http://www.openbible.info/topics/mentoring for more bible references
on mentoring

6. Why Do Youth Need Mentors?
 Faith & Spirituality
 Sex and Gender
 Child
Abuse/Violence
 Depression &
Suicide
 Lack of Proper
 Nutrition & Health
Care
 Substance Abuse
 School Safety &
Violence
 School & Time
Management
 Future
Expectations

7. BENEFITS OF MENTORING
 46% less likely to begin using
illegal drugs
 27% less likely to begin using
alcohol
 53% less likely to drop out of
school
 33% less likely to be violent in
school

8.  personal issues with
relationships; low
self-esteem; poor
parenting skills;
STIGMATIZATION
of communities and an
undesirable
relationship
between the
police and their
communities.
Why Do Youth Need Mentors?

9. Why Do Youth Need Mentors?

10. Why Do Youth Need Mentors?

11. Why Do Youth Need Mentors?

12. Calling all Christian Mentors!
 “Compared to atheists and agnostics,
Protestants are less knowledgeable about the
teachings, history and figures of major world
religions, a new survey reveals”. -
www.christianpost.com
 Researchers from the Pew Forum on Religion
and Public Life polled more than 3,400
people. They were asked questions about the
Bible, Christianity and other world religions.

13. Calling all Mentors

14. Calling all Christian Mentors
 Only 49% of White and Black
Evangelicals believe Golden Rule, “Do
unto others as you would have them do
unto you,” is not one of the Ten
Commandments
 Only 43% of black evangelicals knew the
four Gospels of the NT
 Only 9% know that black Protestants
teach salvation through faith

15. The Teenage Brain

16. The Teenage Brain

17. Test Your Brain

18. Test Your Brain

19. Neuroplasticity

20. Neuroplasticity
 Neuroplasticity is a process that
reshapes and fine tunes (both
strengthening & pruning) the more
than 100 trillion neural connections
(synapses) that exist in the human
brain. Each single neuron can receive
signals from 5,000 – 10,000 other
neurons through dendrite
connections:

21. Neuroplasticity

22. Neuroplasticity
 A single neuron has only one axon to
transmit signals, so it tends to “listen”
to input from many of its dendrite
connections before sending a signal
of its own. Neuroplasticity is the
biological method for how the brain
responds to its environment –
learning the skills and adaptive
behavior necessary to survive.

23. The Teenage Brain
Listen to more music: Stanford
University researchers found
that it helps me better organize
chaos, pay attention, make
predictions, and update
memory.

24. The Teenage Brain
Memory starts
declining at around 27!
Even though my ability
to function doesn't start
deteriorating until as
early as 45, we will
start losing some of my
cells in your 20s.

25. Types of Mentoring

26. A Mentor is…
A mentor is an adult who will
humbly offer his/her
experiences (Successes and
Failures) to uplift and enhance
a child’s life.

27. A Mentor is…
 1 Peter 5:5-7 ESV / Likewise, you who are
younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe
yourselves, ALL OF YOU, with humility
toward one another, for “God opposes
the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the
mighty hand of God so that at the proper
time he may exalt you, casting all your
anxieties on him, because he cares for
you

28. Qualities of Successful Mentors
 Strong Interpersonal
Skills
 Organizational
Knowledge
 Personal Power and
Charisma
 Are Flexible and Open
 Patience and Risk
Taking
 Respect Young People
 Empathize Actively
 Listen

29. The Role of Mentor
 Providing opportunity for
Social Experiences
 Providing Academic
Assistance
 Provide Career and Talent
Exploration Assistance
 Provide Emotional
Support
 Provide spiritual guidance
 Helping with growth in
Ministry
 Girdle protégé with prayer
 Develop Assets

30. Mentors Wear Many Hats!
 Coach
 Role Model
 Advocate
 Delegator
 Motivator
 Guide
 Friend
 Brother
 Companion
 Supporter

31. A Mentor is Not…
 A Parent
 An ATM
 Social Worker
 Professional
Counselor
 Parole Officer
 Cool Peer
 Savior

32. A Great Mentor…
 Must have
Character
 Must be Available
 Must be Dedicated
 Must be Humble
 Must Pull & Push

33. What do you have to offer?
 Write down three things you think
you have that will be valuable to a
young person
1._________________________
2._________________________
3._________________________

34. A Protégé is…
 A Protégé is someone
who is faced with
different obstacles
and is need of a
positive influence to
help guide his/her life
in a positive and
productive direction.

35. Role of the Protégé / Mentee
 Respond to the
mentor’s call or visit
as quickly as
possible
 Be Open and
Honest LISTEN!!!
 Set realistic goals.
 Accept responsibility
for HIS decisions.
 Understand the role
of the mentor.

36. Benefits to the Mentors
 Mentoring promotes
deeper understanding of
teen and societal problems.
 Mentors gain recognition
from peers.
 Mentors gain improved
interpersonal skills.
 Mentoring focuses the
mentor outside of himself.
 Mentors gain personal and
professional satisfaction in
helping a youth.

37. Parents’ Role in Mentoring
 Parents play a major role by
supporting the mentor-protégé
relationship.
 Parents are:
 Confidants
 Advisors
 Disciplinarians
 Teachers
 Friends
 Decision Makers

38. Benefits to the Protégé
 Exposes youth to a positive
role model.
 Fosters increased self-
esteem and confidence.
 Helps to focus youth on their
future and on setting
ministry, academic and
career goals.
 Exposes youth to new
experiences.
 Encourages social,
emotional and spiritual

39. Mentoring Purpose #2
Mentor Commitment
 Can You Commit?

40. Effective Mentors…
 Commit to be effective and consistent.
 Commit to involve youth in deciding how both
of you will spend their time together.
 Commit to keeping the relationship alive.
 Commit to respecting youth’s point of view.
 Commit to separate their own goals from those
of the youth.
 Commit to focus on the positive aspects of the
youth

41. Effective Mentors
IDEAL REALITY/ Sample

42. Stages in Mentoring
Relationship
 Birth – Engage - Sustain - Transition
Birth
Engage
Sustain
Transition

43. Birth Stage

44. Building Rapport

45. Use Empathy

46. EMPATHIC STATEMENTS

47. Engage Stage :

48. Sustain Stage

49. Guidelines for Feedback

50. Transition Stage

51. Mentoring Purpose #3
“Unless we think of others and do
something for them, we miss one of
the greatest sources of happiness”. ~
Ray Lyman Wilbur

52. Is Mentoring For You?
 Questions to Consider Before You Start???
◦ Do you enjoy spending time with young people?
◦ What is it that you want to get outof mentoring?
◦ Are you prepared for the necessary time commitment?
◦ Can you remain consistent to your commitment?
◦ Are you prepared for the challenges of mentoring?
◦ Are you a good listener?

53. Mentoring for You?
 Are you excited about helping a youth
explore life’s options.
 Can you set clear and consistent
boundaries?
 Can you help youth set clear and
realistic expectations?
 Are you prepared to help youth define
the individual meaning of success?

54. Mentoring for You?
 Can you empathize with youth, not
sympathize with them?
 Are you prepared to become an
advocate for youth?
 Can you walk the talk?
 Are you prepared for the necessity of
ending a mentoring relationship?

55. Ten Tickets to Mentoring
 1. Believing that mentoring
is building a relationship.
 2. Acting as a role model
for your mentee.
 3. Talking to your mentee
about right and wrong.
 4. Projecting wholesome
values to your mentee.
 5. Taking satisfaction from
mentoring because you
believe you have
something important to
offer to the right young
person.

56. Ten Tickets to Mentoring
 6. Doing everything
you can to develop
trust.
 7. Telling your mentee
that you care about
him.
 8. Pointing out the
right behavior for
certain situations.
 9. Helping your
mentee develop
goals.
 10. Listening to
whatever your
mentee wants to talk

57. Put It All Together
 Have a plan.
 Never promise more than you can deliver.
 Do not try to be all things to your mentee.
 Communicate what you are trying to do.
 Find people to support your efforts.
 Build Partnerships.
 Concede small points to accomplish the larger
goal.
 Believe in what you are doing and stay
focused.

58.  Mentors are required to make at least 4-6
hours of contact with their mentors each
month.
◦ Determine a Routine
◦ Confidential
◦ Deal with Emotional Shut Down
 Any meetings not planned by or held at
the church may require permission of the
parents and notification to the Mentor
Coordinator.
Put It All Together

59. Finally…
“Mentoring is a journey, a road you and
your mentee travel together to
prepare the young person for the
journeys that lie ahead. And when the
times come for your paths to diverge,
you will carry with you the profound
satisfaction of knowing you have truly
earned a young person’s
unconditional regard.”