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Parenting & Role Modelling guide to parents
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- 2. “The best wayto help children is to help parents. If parents do not like what their children do, it is not the children alone who must change” Thomas Harris I am OK, you are OK
- 3. Islam considers childrento be an amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a child in a righteous manner. Amanah
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- 5. Making a commitmentin a caring way, which involves taking part in the learning process side-by-side with the learner. Accompanying
- 6. Mentors are oftenconfronted with the difficulty of preparing the learner before he or she is ready to change. Sowing is necessary when you know that what you say may not be understood or even acceptable to learners at first but will make sense and have value to the mentee when the situation requires it. Sowing
- 7. When change reachesa critical level of pressure, learning can escalate. Here the mentor chooses to plunge the learner right into change, provoking a different way of thinking, a change in identity or a re-ordering of values. Catalyzing
- 8. This is makingsomething understandable, or using your own example to demonstrate a skill or activity. You show what you are talking about, you show by your own behavior. Showing
- 9. Here the mentorfocuses on "picking the ripe fruit": it is usually used to create awareness of what was learned by experience and to draw conclusions. The key questions here are: "What have you learned?", "How useful is it?". Harvesting
- 10. Which to use? 1.Situation 2.Mindset 3.Teachablemoments 4.2 Types – Formal & Informal Techniques
- 11. 1. Cloning modelis about the mentor trying to "produce a duplicate copy of him or her self." 2. Nurturing model takes more of a "parent figure, creating a safe, open environment in which mentee can both learn and try things for him-or herself." 3. Friendship model are more peers "rather than being involved in a hierarchical relationship." 4. Apprenticeship is about less "personal or social aspects... and the professional relationship is the sole focus". Models
- 12. 1. Accessibility 2. Patience 3.Sensitivity 4. Respectfulness & Respect 5. Flexibility 6. Knowledge 7. Confidence 8. Attentiveness Attributes
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- 15. Childhood –0 to 7 (Playmate) Adolescence – 8 to 14 (Mentor) Adulthood – 15 to 21 (Friend) Childhood to Adulthood Stages
- 16. Biological Transition Cognitive Transition Social Transition Psychological Transition Emotional Transition Economic Transition Time of “Storm & Stress” ~ Stanley Hall Transitions
- 17. Puberty Changein Physical Appearance Reproductive Development Growth Spurt Biological Transition
- 18. Change inhow people think Teens start thinking more profoundly & abstractly Result of maturation Growth in Brain – not in size but in definition of creases Frontal lobe Educational motivation Cognitive Transition
- 19. Childhood toAdulthood Underage – Minor – Adult Societal perception change Society Gives More Responsibility Relationship change – House/Parents – School/Friends Family to Peers Social Transition
- 20. Relationships Attractive& Confident Ugly & Self-conscious Healthy, Positive & Balanced strokes/charges Attention & Counseling Psychological Transition
- 21. Protected &Caring to Exposed & Bold Attention seeker Peer recognition Extrovert or Introvert Emotional Transition
- 22. Money Matters Friends Lifestyle management Reality check Finance Management – best time to train Economic Transition
- 23. Peer Media Food & Health Parents Home Influencers Select good friends & say NO to bad company. Movies, Games, Music, Internet, Social Media. Pornography, chats & timewasters Healthy eating/exercise. Breakfast/Sleep and personal timetable How are they? Healthy, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual Contributor – open communication Stable, secure, orderly & clean
- 24. Recreation Romance Emotions Sexuality Structure Influencers Compensate the restriction. Arts & Crafts. Hobbies & Skill Development Parents role/communication. Emotional experiments. Increasing diagnosable mental disorder. Self determination (decision making) Strong emotional family ties. Learning about sex from friends/media. Pornography/Arts Timetable. Study Time, prayer time, a clear daily schedule. Homework
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- 26. Parenting Styles CONTROLLING UNDEMANDING WARMAUTHORITATIVE PERMISSIVE COLD AUTHORITARIAN UNIVOLVED
- 27. Argumentativeness Indecisiveness Finding fault with authority figure Apparent hypocrisy Self-consciousness (everyone is thinking about me) Assumption of vulnerability (no one understands what I am going through) (David Elkind-1984) Immaturity in Teens
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- 33. Office stress Personal stress Missingsalah with soul Bringing down stress after Asr Missing Magrib Talk less after Isha (except remembrance of Allah/Deen) How?
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