How to do better parenting and be a role model to children

1. Parenting &
Role Model

2. 
“The best way to help children is to help
parents. If parents do not like what their
children do, it is not the children alone
who must change”
Thomas Harris
I am OK, you are OK

3. 
Islam considers children to be an amanah
(trust) given to the family and says it is
fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a
child in a righteous manner.
Amanah

4. 
1.Accompanying
2.Sowing
3.Catalyzing
4.Showing
5.Harvesting
Techniques

5. 
Making a commitment in a
caring way, which involves
taking part in the learning
process side-by-side with the
learner.
Accompanying

6. 
Mentors are often confronted with the
difficulty of preparing the learner before
he or she is ready to change. Sowing is
necessary when you know that what you
say may not be understood or even
acceptable to learners at first but will
make sense and have value to the mentee
when the situation requires it.
Sowing

7. 
When change reaches a critical level of
pressure, learning can escalate. Here the
mentor chooses to plunge the learner
right into change, provoking a different
way of thinking, a change in identity or a
re-ordering of values.
Catalyzing

8. 
This is making something
understandable, or using your own
example to demonstrate a skill or activity.
You show what you are talking about,
you show by your own behavior.
Showing

9. 
Here the mentor focuses on "picking the
ripe fruit": it is usually used to create
awareness of what was learned by
experience and to draw conclusions. The
key questions here are: "What have you
learned?", "How useful is it?".
Harvesting

10. 
Which to use?
1.Situation
2.Mindset
3.Teachable moments
4.2 Types – Formal & Informal
Techniques

11. 
1. Cloning model is about the mentor trying to
"produce a duplicate copy of him or her self."
2. Nurturing model takes more of a "parent figure,
creating a safe, open environment in which mentee
can both learn and try things for him-or herself."
3. Friendship model are more peers "rather than being
involved in a hierarchical relationship."
4. Apprenticeship is about less "personal or social
aspects... and the professional relationship is the
sole focus".
Models

12. 
1. Accessibility
2. Patience
3. Sensitivity
4. Respectfulness & Respect
5. Flexibility
6. Knowledge
7. Confidence
8. Attentiveness
Attributes

13. Who? How? Why?

14. 
Child development

15. 
 Childhood – 0 to 7 (Playmate)
 Adolescence – 8 to 14 (Mentor)
 Adulthood – 15 to 21 (Friend)
Childhood to Adulthood
Stages

16. 
 Biological Transition
 Cognitive Transition
 Social Transition
 Psychological Transition
 Emotional Transition
 Economic Transition
Time of “Storm & Stress” ~ Stanley Hall
Transitions

17. 
 Puberty
 Change in Physical Appearance
 Reproductive Development
 Growth Spurt
Biological Transition

18. 
 Change in how people think
 Teens start thinking more profoundly & abstractly
 Result of maturation
 Growth in Brain – not in size but in definition of
creases
 Frontal lobe
 Educational motivation
Cognitive Transition

19. 
 Childhood to Adulthood
 Underage – Minor – Adult
 Societal perception change
 Society Gives More Responsibility
 Relationship change – House/Parents –
School/Friends
 Family to Peers
Social Transition

20. 
 Relationships
 Attractive & Confident
 Ugly & Self-conscious
 Healthy, Positive & Balanced strokes/charges
 Attention & Counseling
Psychological Transition

21. 
 Protected & Caring to Exposed & Bold
 Attention seeker
 Peer recognition
 Extrovert or Introvert
Emotional Transition

22. 
 Money Matters
 Friends
 Lifestyle management
 Reality check
 Finance Management – best time to train
Economic Transition

23. 
 Peer
 Media
 Food & Health
 Parents
 Home
Influencers
 Select good friends & say NO to bad
company.
 Movies, Games, Music, Internet, Social Media.
Pornography, chats & timewasters
 Healthy eating/exercise. Breakfast/Sleep and
personal timetable
 How are they? Healthy, Emotional, Mental &
Spiritual Contributor – open communication
 Stable, secure, orderly & clean

24. 
 Recreation
 Romance
 Emotions
 Sexuality
 Structure
Influencers
 Compensate the restriction. Arts & Crafts.
Hobbies & Skill Development
 Parents role/communication. Emotional
experiments.
 Increasing diagnosable mental disorder. Self
determination (decision making)
 Strong emotional family ties. Learning about
sex from friends/media. Pornography/Arts
 Timetable. Study Time, prayer time, a clear
daily schedule. Homework

25. 
CHILD EGO
CC RC
AC
LP
NC

26. 
Parenting Styles
CONTROLLING UNDEMANDING
WARM AUTHORITATIVE PERMISSIVE
COLD AUTHORITARIAN UNIVOLVED

27. 
 Argumentativeness
 Indecisiveness
 Finding fault with authority figure
 Apparent hypocrisy
 Self-consciousness
(everyone is thinking about me)
 Assumption of vulnerability
(no one understands what I am going through)
(David Elkind-1984)
Immaturity in Teens

28. Physiology

29. 

30. 

31. 

32. 

33. 
Office stress
Personal stress
Missing salah with soul
Bringing down stress after Asr
Missing Magrib
Talk less after Isha (except remembrance of
Allah/Deen)
How?

34. 

35. 

36. 
Eye Contact
Smile
Touch
Hug
Hold
Play
How?

37. Questions, Ideas, Answers