This document discusses youth mentoring and outlines key aspects of developing a successful mentoring relationship. It defines mentoring as helping a young person through a transitional period in their life. A successful relationship is built on mutual trust and respect, allows the mentee to learn and grow at their own pace, and benefits both parties. The mentor's role evolves over time from being supportive to providing more challenge as the mentee gains confidence. Adhering to a written contract, sustaining presence, focusing on the mentee's goals, and seeking support from other organizations can also help foster a successful long-term mentoring relationship.

1. 2014
Stephen Hollywood
Effective Practice in
Youth Mentoring

2. Contents:
 What is Youth Mentoring?
 Benefits of Youth Mentoring
 A successful Youth Mentoring
relationship
 Designing a Mentoring Programme
 Developing a Mentoring a
Mentoring approach
 Mentoring Skills, Roles & Qualities
 Guidelines for Mentors
 Ending the Mentoring Relationship

3. What is Youth Mentoring?
From my experience, Youth Mentoring is complex. It
is somewhat different from coaching, teaching,
tutoring or lecturing. It can vary from one situation
to another. It is important that the purposes and
intentions of a mentoring programme are set in a
particular context. A mentor is basically someone
who helps another person through a transitional
period of their lives, for example, someone leaving
care, as a consequence of a custodial sentence,
personal growth or the development of a chosen
career path etc....
Youth Mentoring is not a one-size-fits-all concept.
Every young person who enters into a mentoring
programme has different needs, issues and barriers
which hinder his/her personal progression. A
successful Youth Mentoring programme is flexible to
meets the needs of the young person which will
allow them to flourish.
The traditional form of mentoring is one to one
although it is important to recognise that this is only
one form of support. ‘Mentees’ can also be
supported by friends, parents, community groups,
community/voluntary sector agencies,
teachers/tutors/lecturers, employers etc...It is also

4. imperative that the mentor collaborates effectively
with the aforementioned to ensure the mentee
realizes his/her full potential. Other forms of
mentoring include:
Group Mentoring (One or more adults working
with a group of young people.)
Peer Mentoring (Caring youth, working with other
youth)
Team Mentoring (Several adults working with
groups of young people)
E – Mentoring (Mentoring via email or online)
Co – Mentoring ( A relationship between two
people that is non-hierarchical which is mutually
reciprocated and benefits both parties)
Benefits of Youth Mentoring
Young people
Young people from all walks of life can experience
mentoring programs which enhances and develops
varying aspects of their lives. Programs are
designed using a person-centered approach with
the focus entirely on the goals and aspirations of
the young person who may be:
• Disengaged or at risk of disengaging from

5. the education system
• Seeking to make the transition from school
to work or further education
• Involved in or seeking to transition from the
justice system
• Socially isolated, for whatever reason
• Young parents
• Seeking to connect or reconnect with
cultural identity
• Keen to increase their career options
Young people who are involved in mentoring
programs are likely to experience:
• Improvements in their relationships with
family and peers
• An increase in their overall communication
skills with others
• Reduced feelings of isolation
• A reduction in risky behaviour
• Enhanced social and emotional development
• Increased options and opportunities for
participation
• Increased resilience
Mentors
As a mentor, you are likely to feel an enormous
sense of reward and satisfaction in making a
difference to a young person’s life. Mentoring a
young person will also make a mentor reflect on
their own lives, hopes and aspirations and will value

6. the opportunity to give something back to society
and community. Through engaging in mentoring,
mentors will also develop new skills, meet new
people and add variety to their life experiences.
Community
Mentoring has a very positive impact on local
communities via the influence of positive
relationships and a increased sense of an
integrated, connected community. Mentoring can
also help build a strong community through
collaborative partnerships with a range of
public/community/private sector agencies and
contribute to the development of society as a
whole.
A Successful Youth Mentoring Relationship
A successful Youth Mentoring relationship is based
upon building a special connection between two
or more people. Its foundations are built upon
mutual trust and respect – on openness and
honesty. I believe it to be a relationship in which
learning and experimentation can occur through
analysis, examination, re-examination, reflective
practice, problems, mistakes & successes (of both

7. mentors and mentees) to identify areas of self-
improvement. Youth Mentoring is essentially helping
a young person grow in confidence; enhance self-
esteem, self worth and in developing
independence, autonomy and maturity which will,
ultimately lead to a young person becoming a fully-
functional member of society. A successful
mentoring relationship will allow a young person to
grow in a safe and protected environment.
In my experience, the early stage of the relationship
is critical in how successful the relationship will
ultimately become. Usually, the mentee will
relatively quiet, despondent, lacking in
confidence/self-esteem and could be dependent
on you as the mentor. (Although this is not always
the case) It is important that a mentor adopts an
approach of a friend – being supportive, positive,
helpful, non-judgemental and encouraging in order
to build trusting and respectful relationship which
will allow the mentee to learn and grow. Ask
questions of the young person’s interests and
hobbies, their hopes and aspirations and past
achievements and focus entirely on these in the
embryonic stage of the mentoring relationship. If a
mentor isn’t fully conversant with aspects of a
mentee’s hobbies/interests/hopes/aspirations then
research them meticulously. This will provide a
useful tool for future conversations and in

8. developing a mutually respectful relationship.
Praising past achievements can also be a very
motivating factor in developing the confidence
and self-esteem of a young person which, in turn,
can further enhance that crucial trusting and
respectful relationship.
Another fundamental at all times in the mentoring
relationship is, but especially so in the early stages, is
how a mentor communicates with a mentee. It is
important to communicate in a way of equality,
that you’re entirely the mentee’s equal and not a
person of superiority. It is crucial to be diplomatic,
friendly, positive and tactful.
However, the time will come when the relationship
will take a different direction and subsequently the
mentor’s role will change course. As the mentee
becomes more confident and independent and
the mutually respectful and trusting relationship has
been consolidated, a good mentor will need to
challenge, stimulate and encourage reflection. Too
much challenging and stimulation in the early
stages of a mentoring relationship can be de-
stabilising, overawe and alienate the young
mentee. It may also lead to a hostile relationship
which is not good for a relationship to succeed. Too
little challenging/stimulation later on in the
relationship can stifle learning and the relationship

9. could end without total fulfilment and without the
young person realizing their full potential.
A successful mentoring relationship must not
become a chore for either parties, or an excuse for
a socialising or chat session. I firmly believe that a
successful mentoring relationship is a two way street
– with both parties gaining much from each other.
It should be non-hierarchical which is mutually
reciprocated and benefits both parties. It is
essential that both mentor and mentee operates as
equals and contributes freely. The age of the
mentor and mentee is irrelevant.
A successful mentoring relationship also provides for
adhering and continually reflecting upon a written
contract - usually drawn up at an initial meeting
with a mentee. Both mentors and mentees
contribute to this contract and should outline: rules,
times, procedures, confidentiality, boundaries, full-
co-operation, dedication, hopes & aspirations,
goals and outcomes.
A mentoring relationship can take place in a wide-
range of settings which include: The workplace, a
learning setting, the community, faith-based
organisations or a juvenile corrections setting.

10. Other ways in which mentors of young people can
sustain a successful relationship include the
following:
1) To continually sustain a presence in a young
person’s life. This means that adhering to a
drawn up contract and showing up for
scheduled meetings on time, or when this is
not possible, endeavour to let the young
mentee know in advance to avoid
disappointment. A phonecall or email is
suffice, when face-to-face isn’t possible. It is
not recommended that a young person can
follow a mentor on Twitter, Facebook or
other forms of social media.
2) A successful mentoring relationship MUST be
person (mentee) centered. A good mentor
will focus on the mentee’s needs and
enhance the personal development of the
young person – whilst respecting their
personal circumstances. It is vitally important
not to have a dogmatic persona or impose
personal beliefs or values on the young
mentee.
3) Get to know the young mentee’s family
without getting overly involved. A young
person’s family may provide a useful
sounding board when trying to get

11. information. A good mentor will understand
that they are not substitutes for family.
4) It is also important to seek out the help of
various public/community/voluntary
organisations which will provide specialist
support which will be of great help in
ensuring the young person realises his/her
potential.
When mentoring young people, I’ve always
maintained that mentors should adapt 4 key
principles when developing a successful mentoring
relationship. These are called the C.O.R.E.
principles:
C-Commitment
O-Organisation
R-Responsibility
E-Excellence
Although motivation is an essential ingredient when
getting the best from young people, I believe that
obtaining commitment is far more important.
Motivation is fleeting and based upon feelings.
If you're a life-saving surgeon and you've got five
operations a day, and you work on motivation, you
may be motivated for the first four, but the fifth one

12. patient needs their life saved just as much, so you
have to be committed to the cause. The same
goes for our daily work life when sometimes we can
be unmotivated by the monotonous repetition of
routine – but we are committed to provide for
ourselves and our families.
Once commitment is achieved from the young
person, the mentor meticulously organises a plan
for the young person to reach their full potential
and to improve progression in becoming the very
best they can be.
It is then the responsibility of the young person to
act, with the support & encouragement of the
mentor, in realizing their potential. All good mentors
will provide young people with all the tools,
environment, high-performance focus & attention;
they will provide them with the best support
specialists from community/voluntary/public sector
etc....and mentors will studiously manage that.
All these factors will allow the young person to
flourish to a level of excellence. I’ve often said to
young people I’ve personally mentored: ‘I will put
the crown on your head; it’s up to you to be the
King of your own destiny.’

13. Designing a Mentoring Programme
Designing a mentoring programme is a key element
in delivering a successful outcome with the
individual you are mentoring and to ensure that
you have the tools and resources at hand should a
particular need occur. A mentoring blueprint should
not be exhaustive and is subject to change due to
particular circumstances i.e – Young Person’s goals
have changed, barriers have been
eradicated/reduced, etc...
When designing a mentoring programme, it is
important to take note of the following:
1) The characteristics of the Youth you will
serve i.e – Outgoing, gregarious
disposition, low self-esteem, offender
etc...
2) The mentoring programme goals and
expected outcomes.
3) When and how often you will meet.
4) The purposes of your mentoring
programme i.e – Social integration,
rehabilitation, job/career guidance.
5) Other stakeholders i.e – Community
groups, employers, etc...Effective
collaboration with other relevant
agencies.

14. 6) The best way to evaluate the progress
and success of your programme.
It is important that a mentoring programme is well-
managed. A well managed programme ensures
efficiency and will enable you, as the Mentor, to
gauge progress effectively and identify areas of
improvement.
Developing a Mentoring approach
In the tables overleaf I’m going to identify a
simple model of mentoring which operates on
a three-stage basis – Building the
relationship/Negotiate agreements,
Developing the mentee & Evaluation/Ending of
relationship. The tables focus on the main
strategies and methods required of the mentor
and young mentee.

15. Building the relationship/Negotiate agreements
Strategies Methods
Take the lead Listen
Pay attention to
relationship & develop
it
Ask open questions,
be encouraging &
positive
Clarify aims &
objectives
Negotiate an agenda
& Contract.
Identify needs,
barriers. Support &
Counsel
Research relevant
support agencies
Online, Community
groups etc..
Developing Mentee
Strategies Methods
Support & Counsel Listen & Challenge.
Give constructive
feedback
Ask open & closed
questions
Mentor and
demonstrate skills
Recognise skills,
strengths &
weaknesses
Recognise past
achievements
Praise accordingly
Establish Priorities

16. Give information &
advice
Share experiences &
tell stories
Examine options for
action and their
consequences
Encourage new and
creative ways of
thinking
Help make decisions
and solve problems
Evaluation/End relationship
Strategies Methods
Monitor progress and
evaluate outcomes
Has agreed
goals/outcomes been
achieved
Has barriers been
eradicated
Identify areas of
improvement
Negotiate and agree
action plan
Extract positive
outcomes from
relationship.
Recognize
achievements & be
appreciative. Prepare
ending.
Approach end with
sensitivity, tact and
diplomacy.

19. Mentoring skills, roles, and qualities
Mentoring skills can be categorised into
organisational and interpersonal skills. To be an
effective Youth Mentor see the skills needed in
the table below:
Organisational Skills Interpersonal Skills
Planning
Contracting
Recording
Time Management
Session Structuring
Scheduling
Assessing
Evaluating
Report Writing
Boundary maintenance
Action Planning
Prioritizing
Facilitating
Negotiating
Influencing
Listening
Constructive
feedback giving
Intervention measures
Supportive
Motivating
Encouraging
Self-awareness
Reflective practice
Understanding
Positive
Non-judgemental
Non-prejudicial
Throughout the duration of a Youth Mentoring
relationship a good mentor will most probably fulfil
most, if not all, of the following roles:

20.  Confidante
 Counsellor
 Motivator
 Facilitator
 Advocate
 Supporter
 Friend
 Advisor
 Critic
 Guide
 Sounding Board
 Devil’s Advocate
 Planner
 Problem Solver
 Catalyst
 Energizer
 Taskmaster
 Role Model
 Protector
 Target Setter
At the beginning of a Youth Mentoring relationship,
the mentor will need to develop a secure and safe
environment and advocate, support and guide the
young Mentee but as the young person begins to
enhance his own confidence and becomes less
dependent, an effective Mentor will need to adopt
more of an analytical, reflective and challenging
role.

21. Good youth mentors offer a long-term view for the
young person. They should be influential in helping
a young person realize their full potential and in
reaching their goals/aspirations. They adopt a
person-centered approach and empower the
young person via participation, to make right
decisions for them. They should genuinely care for
the young person and their needs and not feel
threatened by a young person equalling or
surpassing them nor a young person detecting their
shortcomings or weaknesses.
Research undertaken by Leeds Metropolitan
University, identified the following characteristics
required of a mentor and prioritised them in
groupings as follows:
Characteristics Priority Rating
Wants to be a Mentor 10
Non-judgemental 9
Empathetic 8
Good Listener/Open/Honest 7
Positivity/Sense of humour 6
Challenging 5
Trustworthy/Caring/Life
experience
4
Good
questioner/Achiever/Reliable/
Organized/Confidentiality/
People Person
3

22. Patient/Optomistic/Confident 2
Past experience/Assertive/
Time management
1
Interseting/Couselling skills/
Interviewing skills
Sensitivity
0
In the table below, see further qualities of a good
mentor and the characteristics of a good mentee
which will ultimately enable them to benefit from a
mentoring relationship.
Qualities of Mentor Characteristics of a
Good Mentee
Interpersonal Skills
Objectivity
Flexibility
Peer Respect
Competence
Good attitude
Open Minded
Approachable
Sincerity
Warmth
Advocacy
Committed
Able to provide
objective assessment of
progress
Willing to learn and
develop
Participation
Ambitious
Keen to succeed
Patient
Committed
Conscientious
Communication skills
Organised
Adaptable
Willing to accept a
challenge
Able to receive
constructive feedback

24. Guidelines for Mentors
Personal Health & Safety
It is highly unlikely that your young mentee would
pose a physical threat to you, however, it is
imperative that you use common sense at all times
during the tenure of your mentoring relationship.
The mentor should arrange sessions via his/her
employers/voluntary agency or be provided a
mobile phone to arrange sessions directly with the
young person. It is not appropriate to use a
personal telephone number.
As a mentor, you can of course reveal different
aspects of your life, which is important in
developing the relationship, without getting too in
depth. Depending on the nature of the relationship,
a mentor shouldn’t disclose details of where they
live – particularly so during the early stage of the
relationship and definitely not until the relationship
has been established – should the need be
absolutely necessary.
When you arrange sessions with your young person,
choose a place which is safe, convenient and
accessible to you both and that you inform

25. someone of your whereabouts and time session
commenced/ended.
Confidentiality
Disclosures and other information which is passed
between you and the young mentee should be
treated as strictly confidential and you may need
to reassure the young person of this. However, there
may be certain circumstances in which you may
need to break this confidentiality bond. Where:
 You are at risk of harm
 Your young person is at risk
 Someone else is at risk
Should any of these circumstances arise you will
need to inform your young person that in your
opinion, as the mentor, that you will need to break
confidentiality. In situations where you are not sure
then you should seek help from your immediate
superior, project staff or designated confidentiality
worker. If the issue is highly sensitive you should only
disclose sufficient information that will allow project
staff to deal with your issue effectively. Project staff
will also respect confidentiality, except in the
circumstances detailed above.

26. Boundaries
It is extremely important for mentors to set
appropriate boundaries with their young mentees.
Though there isn’t one set of boundaries that can
be applied to all mentoring relationships, some
minimums are absolutely clear:
 Violence in the mentoring relationship in
NEVER ok.
 Romantic relationships are completely
unacceptable.
 Mentors or mentees should never knowingly
be placed in danger.
If you are mentoring through a voluntary agency or
community project, they should provide very clear
guidelines about regarding boundaries. However,
sometimes they don’t help when you’re ‘In the
moment’ or when you face a very specific
situation. Below you will see 4 points you need to
consider when confronted with situations you’re not
sure is acceptable or non-acceptable.
1) Is it legal? Is it safe? Is there potential for
harm? (physical, emotion, social)
2) Is it within the guidelines established with your
mentoring organisation/project.

27. 3) Has your young person’s parents informed
you what they will accept or not accept,
and is it within those guidelines?
4) Are you comfortable with the situation and
does it meet the expectations of the
mentoring relationship.
If you answer ‘no’ to any of the above this may be
a sign of a boundary conflict. It is essential you
weigh up the pros and cons of such a situation and
decide if the benefits outweigh the potential
negative consequences. If you have concerns or
are not sure then follow up with project superiors,
young person’s parents or the young person to gain
clarity on ambiguous areas.
Beyond the basics, there are other situations which
are less clear and ultimately depend on the type of
mentoring relationship you will undertake. Think, for
example, the following questions in your mentoring
relationship.
1) Would you spend time at home with your
young person?
2) Would you bring your young mentee to an
‘R’ rated movie?
3) Would you talk with your young person
about sex?
4) Inform the young person of your own
experiences regarding drugs/alcohol?

28. Some answers may be obvious and some not but it
is important that mentors know who they can turn
to for clarification purposes.
It is also imperative, during negotiating a contract
with your young mentee, that boundaries are
researched, set and adhered too during the tenure
of the relationship.
Problems and complaints
Sometimes things can go wrong with the
relationship with your young person or your
involvement with the project itself. Your personal
circumstances may change which deems it
necessary that you can no longer commit to a
mentoring relationship, or that you feel that you’re
not a good match for a particular young person.
You may even feel you’ve taken the young mentee
as far as you can without the young person
reaching desired goals/objectives. In such cases
you should let your immediate superiors know as
soon as possible to enable them to allocate
another mentor in your place. It is your right to
withdraw from a mentoring relationship or be asked
to be allocated another mentee should an
unsatisfactory situation develop. Should you have a
complaint about project staff, it should be dealt

29. with promptly and treated seriously. The same goes
for the young person you’re mentoring.
Ending the Mentoring Relationship
In many cases, a mentoring relationship will
conclude to a natural end: Goals/aspirations have
been achieved/reduced, one or other of the
parties involved has voluntarily dissolved the
relationship or an agreed time limit has been
reached. There can be strong emotions involved
when bringing a mentoring relationship to an end
but it is essential for a young person’s growth and
their continual development in becoming an fully
functional member of society.
A good ending to the mentoring relationship
includes:
 A review and evaluation of the mentoring
process and the relationship.
 Outcomes of learning and achievements.
 A celebration.
Insofar as possible it is important to try and:
 Speak with the young person in a tactful,
sensitive and diplomatic way and agree that
the relationship is nearing its end. Rehearse
what you will say and get advice from

30. project staff/superiors, if possible and
prepare specific examples.
 Always extract positive outcomes from the
relationship. Recognize what each has
gained from the relationship and be
appreciative.
 Converse about what went well but you may
want to relay areas of improvement which
the young person could work on.
 Engage in reflective practice of your own
contribution. Could you, as the mentor, do
anything differently to make a mentoring
relationship more effective?
 Always provide feedback and complete
relevant paperwork to your project superiors.

32. Useful Contacts
Start 360.....02890 435810
Include Youth.....02890 311007
Youth ActionNI.....02890 240556
Bytes Project.....02890 288810
Youth Link.....02890 323217
FASA.....02890 803040
Challenge for Youth.....02890 236893
Northern Ireland Youth Forum.....02890 331990
Upper S/field Development Trust..02890 236677
Greater Shankill Partnership.....02890 311455
Lighthouse Project.....02890 755070
Alternatives Belfast.....02890 311420
East Belfast Mission.....02890 458560
Ashton Community Trust.....02890 742255
Counselling 4 Youth.....02890 731571
Voypic.....02895 632641