SlideShare a Scribd company logo
1 of 15
Download to read offline
Diffusing Tension in
the ESL Workplace
            Jim Scofield
                 &
         Ann Marie Groffner
   ELS Language Centers/San Diego
Diffuse vs. Defuse
Where does the tension come from?
Avoid the
 danger
  that
 has not
yet come
Set clear expectations
Choose the best place to talk
Things may seem worse than they
            really are
“I hope it just goes away…”
Take time to deal with the problem
Two heads are better than one
Know your sphere of influence &
  Take personal responsibility
Group discussion
1.Explain the situation causing tension
2. Gather information
    • What are the issues involved?
    • Consider how everyone feels
    • Meet with each party individually
3. Formulate a solution
    • Acknowledge the negative feelings
    • Find a common ground to bridge the gap
    • Find a compromise if possible & try it for
      a while
    • Revisit the problem if necessary
Take care of yourself
What will you do differently on
           Monday?
www.jimscofield.net/NAFSA2012

More Related Content

What's hot

Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. soriano
Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. sorianoCrucial Conversation by jennifer v. soriano
Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. sorianoJo Balucanag - Bitonio
 
Managing crucial conversations
Managing crucial conversationsManaging crucial conversations
Managing crucial conversationsTaesung Kim
 
Resolving conflict
Resolving conflictResolving conflict
Resolving conflictcenriquegf30
 
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...Smart, Savvy + Associates
 
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough Conversations
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough ConversationsDavidson Alumni Webinar - Tough Conversations
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough ConversationsMark S. Young
 
Crucial conversations in a nutshell
Crucial conversations in a nutshellCrucial conversations in a nutshell
Crucial conversations in a nutshellHoria Constantin
 
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla -  How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...Dilbert Versus Godzilla -  How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...mrvanbrink
 
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask Yourself
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask YourselfManaging Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask Yourself
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask YourselfBarbara Greene
 
Difficult conversation
Difficult conversationDifficult conversation
Difficult conversationGary Cohen
 
Making Difficult Conversations Easier
Making Difficult Conversations EasierMaking Difficult Conversations Easier
Making Difficult Conversations EasierMostafa Ewees
 
Our Class Discussions This Semester!
Our Class Discussions This Semester!Our Class Discussions This Semester!
Our Class Discussions This Semester!diannashank1
 
Dealing with difficult conversations at work
Dealing with difficult conversations at work Dealing with difficult conversations at work
Dealing with difficult conversations at work Richard Riche
 
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?What to do with the problems you cannot solve?
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?SQALab
 
Crucial Conversations PowerPoint
Crucial Conversations PowerPointCrucial Conversations PowerPoint
Crucial Conversations PowerPointGavin Zeff
 
Lynda certification n egotatiation2
Lynda certification n egotatiation2Lynda certification n egotatiation2
Lynda certification n egotatiation2JoshuaJacobMcKinley
 

What's hot (19)

Summary crucial conversations
Summary crucial conversationsSummary crucial conversations
Summary crucial conversations
 
Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. soriano
Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. sorianoCrucial Conversation by jennifer v. soriano
Crucial Conversation by jennifer v. soriano
 
Managing crucial conversations
Managing crucial conversationsManaging crucial conversations
Managing crucial conversations
 
Resolving conflict
Resolving conflictResolving conflict
Resolving conflict
 
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...
LeaderLounge #LeadersAreReaders Series: Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patter...
 
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough Conversations
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough ConversationsDavidson Alumni Webinar - Tough Conversations
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough Conversations
 
Crucial conversations in a nutshell
Crucial conversations in a nutshellCrucial conversations in a nutshell
Crucial conversations in a nutshell
 
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla -  How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...Dilbert Versus Godzilla -  How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How To Prepare Yourself To Deal With Monsters In T...
 
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask Yourself
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask YourselfManaging Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask Yourself
Managing Difficult Conversations:9 Questions to Ask Yourself
 
Conversations
ConversationsConversations
Conversations
 
Difficult conversation
Difficult conversationDifficult conversation
Difficult conversation
 
Making Difficult Conversations Easier
Making Difficult Conversations EasierMaking Difficult Conversations Easier
Making Difficult Conversations Easier
 
Our Class Discussions This Semester!
Our Class Discussions This Semester!Our Class Discussions This Semester!
Our Class Discussions This Semester!
 
Dealing with difficult conversations at work
Dealing with difficult conversations at work Dealing with difficult conversations at work
Dealing with difficult conversations at work
 
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?What to do with the problems you cannot solve?
What to do with the problems you cannot solve?
 
Ouch buttons
Ouch buttonsOuch buttons
Ouch buttons
 
Conflict management
 Conflict management Conflict management
Conflict management
 
Crucial Conversations PowerPoint
Crucial Conversations PowerPointCrucial Conversations PowerPoint
Crucial Conversations PowerPoint
 
Lynda certification n egotatiation2
Lynda certification n egotatiation2Lynda certification n egotatiation2
Lynda certification n egotatiation2
 

Viewers also liked

Academics and education abroad
Academics and education abroadAcademics and education abroad
Academics and education abroadnafsaregion12
 
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72allenbryan
 
Unehäired
UnehäiredUnehäired
Unehäiredc2rolyn
 
Power Point
Power PointPower Point
Power PointLê Hoà
 
Polite questions and requests
Polite questions and requestsPolite questions and requests
Polite questions and requestsCandice Marshall
 
Polite Request
Polite RequestPolite Request
Polite Requestlulumanik
 

Viewers also liked (6)

Academics and education abroad
Academics and education abroadAcademics and education abroad
Academics and education abroad
 
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72
Comforts of Home Jan,2013 72
 
Unehäired
UnehäiredUnehäired
Unehäired
 
Power Point
Power PointPower Point
Power Point
 
Polite questions and requests
Polite questions and requestsPolite questions and requests
Polite questions and requests
 
Polite Request
Polite RequestPolite Request
Polite Request
 

Similar to Diffusing tension in the esl workplace ann marie and jim

Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-Principals
Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-PrincipalsConflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-Principals
Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-PrincipalsTom D'Amico
 
How To Handle conflict in the workplace
How To Handle conflict in the workplaceHow To Handle conflict in the workplace
How To Handle conflict in the workplaceLashanna Parker
 
Conflict resolution
Conflict resolutionConflict resolution
Conflict resolutionkdcsdross
 
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with Staff
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with StaffAHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with Staff
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with StaffAHDScotland
 
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie HawkinsFeel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie HawkinsLaurie Hawkins
 
Dealing With Difficult People Webinar
Dealing With Difficult People WebinarDealing With Difficult People Webinar
Dealing With Difficult People Webinarpkearley
 
5/25 Alexandra
5/25 Alexandra5/25 Alexandra
5/25 Alexandrawiteka11
 
Conflict management
Conflict managementConflict management
Conflict managementlyudmila1205
 
Conflict resolution
Conflict resolutionConflict resolution
Conflict resolutionPACF
 
Conflict Mgmt (4) White
Conflict Mgmt (4) WhiteConflict Mgmt (4) White
Conflict Mgmt (4) WhiteMartyB
 
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...mrvanbrink
 
How To Manage Conflict Using Theory
How To Manage Conflict Using TheoryHow To Manage Conflict Using Theory
How To Manage Conflict Using TheoryDr. Paul Gerhardt
 
Resolving Conflict
Resolving ConflictResolving Conflict
Resolving Conflictjoytmc
 

Similar to Diffusing tension in the esl workplace ann marie and jim (20)

Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-Principals
Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-PrincipalsConflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-Principals
Conflict Management Skills for Principals and Vice-Principals
 
Defensive: Who ME?
Defensive: Who ME?Defensive: Who ME?
Defensive: Who ME?
 
How To Handle conflict in the workplace
How To Handle conflict in the workplaceHow To Handle conflict in the workplace
How To Handle conflict in the workplace
 
Handling Disagreements
Handling DisagreementsHandling Disagreements
Handling Disagreements
 
Conflict resolution
Conflict resolutionConflict resolution
Conflict resolution
 
conflict
conflictconflict
conflict
 
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with Staff
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with StaffAHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with Staff
AHDS2013 WS9 Supportive and Challenging Conversations with Staff
 
Resolving conflict
Resolving conflictResolving conflict
Resolving conflict
 
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie HawkinsFeel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Book Exploration by Laurie Hawkins
 
Handling Conflict with Confidence
Handling Conflict with ConfidenceHandling Conflict with Confidence
Handling Conflict with Confidence
 
Dealing With Difficult People Webinar
Dealing With Difficult People WebinarDealing With Difficult People Webinar
Dealing With Difficult People Webinar
 
Conflict
Conflict Conflict
Conflict
 
5/25 Alexandra
5/25 Alexandra5/25 Alexandra
5/25 Alexandra
 
Conflict management
Conflict managementConflict management
Conflict management
 
Conflict resolution
Conflict resolutionConflict resolution
Conflict resolution
 
Conflict Mgmt (4) White
Conflict Mgmt (4) WhiteConflict Mgmt (4) White
Conflict Mgmt (4) White
 
You transformed
You transformedYou transformed
You transformed
 
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...
Dilbert Versus Godzilla - How to prepare yourself to deal with monsters in th...
 
How To Manage Conflict Using Theory
How To Manage Conflict Using TheoryHow To Manage Conflict Using Theory
How To Manage Conflict Using Theory
 
Resolving Conflict
Resolving ConflictResolving Conflict
Resolving Conflict
 

More from nafsaregion12

Survival on the moon
Survival on the moonSurvival on the moon
Survival on the moonnafsaregion12
 
Supporting student health and safety for study abroad
Supporting student health and safety for study abroadSupporting student health and safety for study abroad
Supporting student health and safety for study abroadnafsaregion12
 
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budget
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budgetRecruiting host families on a shoestring budget
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budgetnafsaregion12
 
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholars
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholarsProgramming to meet the needs of international students and scholars
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholarsnafsaregion12
 
Non immigrant visa update a consular update
Non immigrant visa update a consular updateNon immigrant visa update a consular update
Non immigrant visa update a consular updatenafsaregion12
 
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gaps
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gapsIn an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gaps
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gapsnafsaregion12
 
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholars
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholarsImmigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholars
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholarsnafsaregion12
 
Ielts in the us and beyond a truly global experience
Ielts in the us and beyond   a truly global experienceIelts in the us and beyond   a truly global experience
Ielts in the us and beyond a truly global experiencenafsaregion12
 
Getting involved in nafsa
Getting involved in nafsaGetting involved in nafsa
Getting involved in nafsanafsaregion12
 
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroad
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroadEffective strategies for increasing student participation abroad
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroadnafsaregion12
 
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international education
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international educationDeveloping a holistic approach to creating a center for international education
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international educationnafsaregion12
 
Deferred action almost a dream act
Deferred action almost a dream actDeferred action almost a dream act
Deferred action almost a dream actnafsaregion12
 
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseas
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseasUs govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseas
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseasnafsaregion12
 
Starting a j1 program
Starting a j1 programStarting a j1 program
Starting a j1 programnafsaregion12
 
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012nafsaregion12
 
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012nafsaregion12
 
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usa
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usaNafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usa
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usanafsaregion12
 
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012nafsaregion12
 
Key components of intenships abroad
Key components of intenships abroadKey components of intenships abroad
Key components of intenships abroadnafsaregion12
 

More from nafsaregion12 (20)

Survival on the moon
Survival on the moonSurvival on the moon
Survival on the moon
 
Supporting student health and safety for study abroad
Supporting student health and safety for study abroadSupporting student health and safety for study abroad
Supporting student health and safety for study abroad
 
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budget
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budgetRecruiting host families on a shoestring budget
Recruiting host families on a shoestring budget
 
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholars
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholarsProgramming to meet the needs of international students and scholars
Programming to meet the needs of international students and scholars
 
Non immigrant visa update a consular update
Non immigrant visa update a consular updateNon immigrant visa update a consular update
Non immigrant visa update a consular update
 
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gaps
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gapsIn an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gaps
In an age of budget cuts using your alumni to fill in the gaps
 
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholars
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholarsImmigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholars
Immigration consequences of criminal activity by f1 and j1 scholars
 
Ielts in the us and beyond a truly global experience
Ielts in the us and beyond   a truly global experienceIelts in the us and beyond   a truly global experience
Ielts in the us and beyond a truly global experience
 
Group norming
Group normingGroup norming
Group norming
 
Getting involved in nafsa
Getting involved in nafsaGetting involved in nafsa
Getting involved in nafsa
 
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroad
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroadEffective strategies for increasing student participation abroad
Effective strategies for increasing student participation abroad
 
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international education
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international educationDeveloping a holistic approach to creating a center for international education
Developing a holistic approach to creating a center for international education
 
Deferred action almost a dream act
Deferred action almost a dream actDeferred action almost a dream act
Deferred action almost a dream act
 
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseas
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseasUs govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseas
Us govt initiatives to promote us higher ed overseas
 
Starting a j1 program
Starting a j1 programStarting a j1 program
Starting a j1 program
 
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012
Victims on campus updated 9 19-2012
 
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012
Nafsa xii san jose j basics for f advisors 2012
 
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usa
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usaNafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usa
Nafsa san jose regional funding an international education in the usa
 
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012
Nafsa regional anatomy of an arrest 9 19-2012
 
Key components of intenships abroad
Key components of intenships abroadKey components of intenships abroad
Key components of intenships abroad
 

Diffusing tension in the esl workplace ann marie and jim