Cfd 250 chapter 6

CFD 250
Parenting in Contemporary Society
Missouri State University
Springfield, Missouri
Kim Sutton, M.Ed.

Supporting Children’s Growth
and Development
Chapter 6
© 2013 by McGraw-Hill Education. This is proprietary material solely for authorized

Parents’ Roles in Supporting Growth
 Models for Children
 Socializers of Children’s Behavior
 Initiators of Children’s Developmental Pathways
3

Parents’ Roles in Supporting Growth
 Modeling
 Most important
 Children copy what they see others do
 Children also copy what they think others have done based
on signs of what others have done
4

Parents’ Role in Supporting Growth
 Parents are Socializing Agents
 Socialization - Process were children are taught the cognitive and
social-emotional skills needed to become valued members of the
social community
 Parents carry out these behaviors so children
 Learn to manage their feelings and behavior to comply with
society’s rules
 Have the capacity to enjoy good feelings and behaving in giving way
to others
5

 5 Parenting Behaviors That Socialize Children
 Relieving children’s distress so they feel protected and secure
 Establishing reciprocal interactions with children, agreeing to their
reasonable demands so they learn to reciprocate when others
make requests
 Using appropriate disciplinary techniques so children learn self-
control
 Matching teaching style to child’s developmental level so child
understands what is taught
 Including children in social and cultural activities so they learn
family and cultural values through participation in activities
6

 Parents Initiate Developmental Trajectory
 Parents’ actions initiate a trajectory, (path of behavior) extending
through time – it may be a pathway to a general skill like emotional
control or pathway to health or a more specific skill like soccer
 Parent may have the role of teacher, coach, cheerleader, advocate,
model, social director, consultant – activities vary depending on
pathway and age of child – e.g., one is more likely to be consultant
to teen; nurturer for infant
 Pathways once initiated, sometimes sustain themselves – e.g.,
helping child develop artistic skill, and child’s enjoyment sustains
activity
7

Influences on Parents’ Behaviors
 Parents’ expectations and beliefs about what children can do, should do,
and what parents believe they should do influence parents’ behavior
 If parents believe toddlers should be able to comply with rules and are
deliberately defying parents when they don’t, parents are likely to be more
harsh
 Parents change based on experience with children and what works
 1/3 of parents became more positive about spanking after having children;
felt their strong-minded child needed a strong response to stop disapproved
behavior
 Children’s qualities change parents’ behaviors
 Timid, inhibited children may require very little teaching to learn rules
because they are so eager to comply with rules and what parent wants
8

Collaborative Family Atmosphere
 Parents create a family atmosphere of cooperation and mutual
responsiveness creates harmonious parent-child relationships
and secure attachment
 Secure attachment encourages cooperation and willingness to
attend to parent’s requests since parent attends to children’s
9

Routines
 Routines – Regularly occurring patterned interactions that
accomplish a practical goal – i.e., meals, bedtime, etc.
 Meet everyone’s needs with least amount of conflict
 Are within family’s resources of time and money to carry out
 Meet cultural goals and values
 Are sustainable on an ongoing basis
10

Everyday Routines Help Children Learn
Approved Behaviors
 Approved behaviors easier to learn when carried out on regularly
 Making children partners in routines, parents talk about reasons for
rules and routines increases understanding of the rules
 When rules are broken or routines not followed explaining why
necessary, what is to be done helps children learn rules
 Organized family routines of dinner, reading together for pleasure,
having homework routines make up intimate family culture
 Intimate family culture predicted school success in third grade
11

Family Dinner Routine
 Many positive benefits
 When TV is off, members share feelings, feel accepted and cared
about
 Topics change as children grow and parents share their lives and
activities as well
 Ability to have family meals together depend on community , work,
school factors
12

Encouragement Promotes Growth
 Dreikurs defined encouragement as “a continuous process aimed at
giving the child a sense of self-respect and accomplishment.”
 Parents do not give rewards or punishments; value children as important
family members; respect children’s abilities to contribute to the family
 Parents’ tone of voice, willingness to play, their enjoyment of child all
convey love
 Parents encourage children by teaching them how to perform self-care
activities, teaching them how to help family – carry things to dinner
table, dust – appreciate what child does, thanking them for positive
contribution
13

Encouragement (continued)
 When children are frustrated with difficulty of tasks, parents draw
attention to the challenge of the task and what children have done
 “It is hard to learn the scales of the piano, but you are gradually mastering
them.”
 Parents encourage children’s independence by giving them opportunities
to play alone, to solve sibling fights
 They teach them how to ask for what they want
 When children make mistakes, parents do not overreact, but instead treat
mistakes as incompletions, child needs more practice or new strategy,
child learns what does not work
14

Sensitive Discipline
 Researchers who have designed programs to strengthen attachment
between parents and young children through sensitive, responsive
parenting, sensitive discipline, combining insights of attachment
theory with Patterson’s learning theory
 Use reasoning to help child understand rules and reasons for them –
i.e., everyone needs rest at night to grow and be active
 Help children focus on positive alternative when they are frustrated –
i.e., eat carrots if you are hungry before dinner, not cookies
15

Basic Guidelines of Sensitive Discipline
 Pay attention to the many times children follow the rules
 Empathize with children’s feelings, desires, stage of life and verbalize
what you think child might be feeling
 Help children withdraw from tantrum/angry battle by taking a time-out
 Talk to children during routines, explaining them, answering questions
 Give children advance warning when time to shift activities
 Be available for play
16

Parents Have Power
 Parents set the rules and reinforce them, e.g., they bring the food into the
home, they decide what time is bedtime, etc.
 Parents have a crucial role in modeling approved behaviors, e.g., children
adopt parents’ exercise habits, their eating habits
 Healthy habits promote growth and reinforce each other, e.g., good
amount of sleep promote learning and emotional control; calm emotional
atmosphere in the home increase the quantity and quality of sleep
 Exercise is related to alertness, health, and strength, to good quality of
sleep, and to academic achievement
17

Living in a Media Rich World
 Variety of media available to family members means people can
watch media and be in contact with others around the world by
phone or texting wherever they are at all times
 Positive force of media in increasing skills and knowledge, drawing
family and friends closer together
 Negative force of media to crowd out healthy activities like exercise,
reading that we know are beneficial to children and increasing the
risk of aggressive behaviors
 Impact of media depends on choices parents make for family use
18

Media Environment
 In 2006 survey of media:
 66% report TV is on most of the time
 Almost half say it is on even if no one is watching
 TV increases are most marked in families when TV on most of the time
 Average child under 2 had 1 hour a day
 Two-year-old had 2 hours a day of screen time
 Remained at 2 hours day for next three years
 Screen times are most frequent activities of children and twice as
much time spent in screen time as in reading activities
19

Parents’ Encouragement of Media Use
 In survey of parents of children under 6, parents report
encouraging use for several reasons:
 Gives parents time to do chores, relax, watch TV
 Way to interrupt sibling bickering or other disapproved behavior
 Calms children down and helps them sleep
 Video games are way for fathers and son to bond
20

Age and Gender Differences
 Media exposure increases dramatically in early adolescence,
rising to 12 hours a day packed into 9 hours and decreasing
slightly in the teen years to 11 hours 23 minutes
 Boys have 55 more minutes of media exposure per day than girls
spent primarily in playing video games on consoles or computers
 Girls listen to more music and do slightly more social networking
21

Ethnic Differences
 Both African American and Latino/a youth average 13 hours of
media exposure per day about 4 and a half hours more than
European American youth who average 8 and a half
 Ethnic differences present in 1999 and 2004 surveys but
differences are more pronounced in 2009
 Few ethnic differences in parents’ rules about time with media,
but European Americans impose more rules on content
22

Multitasking
 About 29% time spent in multitasking, using computer and
listening to music or TV
 About 1/3 of students multitask while doing homework
 May be less efficient in learning when multitasking – the brain
is less efficient in retaining information
23

Benefits of Social Media
 Social media includes networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, gaming
sites, and virtual worlds, chat rooms, blogs, video sites like YouTube
as well as cell phone texting
 Social media has many educational and social benefits
 People can study together
 Form groups to do projects together
 Keep bonded with friends from previous schools, communities
 Keep all family members in loop of activities
24

Risks of Social Media for Teens
 Peer to peer cyber bullying
 Inappropriate content like sexting
 Lack of understanding of privacy issues
 Outside influence of marketing groups
 When teens start to use social media, parents and teens need to
have discussions of ground rules for use, risks, what is legal/illegal,
and what can happen from a single impulsive act
25

Positive Behaviors
Associated with Media Use
 Viewing educational TV, ages 3-18, increases academic
achievement and literary skills
 Specialized computer video games, ages 5-18, can enhance
attention, visual spatial reasoning, problem-solving
 Media showing prosocial themes increases altruism and
tolerance
26

Negative Behaviors
Associated with Media Use
 Background TV related to decreases in children‘s reading and being read to
 Heavy media use increased attention difficulties but not clinical ADHD
 Increased viewing media showing aggression and violence increase
childhood aggression and increase adult physical aggression in men and
women
 Effects of increased viewing of media with sexual content requires
additional research to establish a clear link between viewing and sexual
activity
 Viewing media with smoking/alcohol advertisements or characters
smoking/drinking increase underage smoking and drinking
27

Negative Behaviors
Associated with Media Use (continued)
 New study (Willoughby et al, Developmental Psychology 48,
(2012):1044-1057) shows that in teen years those who have
sustained play with violent video games have marked increase in self-
reported aggressive behavior; playing nonviolent video games has no
relationship with aggression
 Followed a sample of 1,492 teens from 9th grade through 12th grade,
surveying game use and behavior annually – found that greater
violent video game use predicted higher levels of aggression over
time
28

Parents’ Rules and Their Enforcement
 Parents of children under 6 have more rules and enforce them;
parents more likely to have rules for 8-10 year olds than older
children
 52% children 8-18 report they have rules about computer use but
generally not other media; 30% between 15 and 18 say no rules
 General recommendation about media - not in bedroom, increases
use; computer can be there while doing homework
 Insisting teens not use when driving
 V-chips, computer filters enable parents to get control over sites, but
children often have friends who know how to evade them
29

Parents’ Rules (continued)
 Parents have disputed rule of having no media use for children under
2, saying it is unrealistic in a household
 Rules on media use have an impact and, on average, those children
who have rules report almost 3 hours less media use per day
 Social scientists worry that well-educated parents are controlling
media more consistently so their children have fewer negative effects
from it and more positive effects than parents who are less aware of
negative behaviors associated with media
30

Parents Are Powerful Models
 Data suggest that parents have slightly more media exposure per day
than children, about 12 hours a day with multitasking counting as
separate hours
 When parents model high use of media, children will want to copy
them, e.g., preschoolers want to use iPhones for games
 When children are very young, parents are in control and can
establish a media-restricted environment
 When children are older, some families have no media use during
the week, only on weekends
31

Reasonable Rules
 The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2
hours a day
 Another way to figure the amount of time is to build in necessary
activities and see what is left over: for children 10 hours of sleep, 7
hours of school (including getting there and home) adding 1 hour for
homework, 1 hour for meals, 1 hour for self-care (bathing, dressing)
and chores, 1 for social activity with family, 1 hour for exercise, and
that leaves about 2 hours for media use
32

Parental Actions
 Children do not always follow rules despite parents’ use of sensitive
discipline
 First alternative is mutual problem-solving with I-statement about
why parent does not like behavior, giving child a chance to express
his/her point of view, and finding a win-win solution
 For simple behaviors like whining, ignoring decreases rewards of
getting attention from the parent so the behavior disappears, but
ignoring is not that easy – parent has to give no attention at all and
parent’s irritation or frustration are sometimes a reward for children
33

Possible Actions if Problem-Solving Is
Ineffective
 Natural and Logical Consequences is a method in which the parent
lets the consequences of an act teach the child e.g., if the child does
not put clothes in laundry, clothes remain dirty
 Some behaviors, however, are too dangerous and can not depend on
parent and child finding a solution – like running in the
 Parent takes action to remove the child from the situation, e.g., not
being near the street without holding a hand
34

System of Contracting
 Contracting involves parents and children developing a contract of
what behavior is required of child and what privileges or positive
consequences are earned by following the contract
 Is similar to problem-solving but parent may act more like authority
figure stating what is permitted from beginning whereas in mutual
problem-solving, parent expresses concerns that can be addressed in
many way
 Safety issues are not negotiable
35

Time-Out
 Time-out usually reserved for aggressive, destructive behavior
 Serves to stop the behavior and gives the child a chance to
think and cool off
 Has many variations: facing a corner, sitting on one end of sofa,
going to one’s room (unwise if room is full of toys)
 Usually for short time, about number of minutes of age for
young children
 Used for small number of behaviors, 1-3 that are most serious
36

Verbal and Physical Coercion
 Most serious consequences are termed coercion which occurs when
parent forces behavior change either by verbal or physical means
 Verbal coercion includes: yelling, screaming, shouting, shaming,
making derogatory remarks to force change
 Physical punishment (PP) includes use of physical forces with the
intention of causing pain, but not injury, in order to control child’s
behavior
37

Use
 Verbal and physical punishments found in countries around the world
 Both verbal and physical coercion begin in first year of life; PP increases
and peaks in the preschool years, and then decreases as children enter
school – less use with teens
 Verbal coercion more likely to continue on after school entrance and into
teen years
 When parent uses one form of coercion, likely to use other
 in one sample 59% of mothers of four-year-olds used spanking with their
hand and an additional 8% used an object so 67% used PP and 93% yelled
more than twice a week
38

Cultural Differences
 Physical punishment (PP) methods found in countries around the
world like China, India, Kenya, Italy, the US
 In all countries, for children 8-12, PP predicted increases in
aggressiveness and anxiety though the effects of PP were reduced
when the culture approved the use of harsh punishment
 Cultural approval may reduce the sense of personal shame and
rejection that PP arouses
39

Reasons for Use
 Parents know and use more positive strategies of teaching,
reasoning, time-outs but they become frustrated and angry for
3 general reasons:
 Parental expectations of children are unrealistic
 Parents have unrealistic expectations of power of verbal
explanations and reasoning alone in the first two years of life
 Parent’s difficulties in self-control are third major reason for use of
coercion
40

Children Can Experience Much Aggression
in Families under Stress
 High rates of aggression were found in sample with many stresses
and fewer resources
 When mother’s and father’s physical punishment of child and their
physically pushing and shoving of each other was measured, physical
punishment occurs in an atmosphere of family aggression
 65 % of children spanked, 29% by both parents, 13% father only, and 23%
mother only
 71% of families reported at least one parent was physically aggressive
with the other
 85% of families had some form of aggression, either spanking or parental
aggression and only 15% reported no form of family aggression
41

Behaviors Associated with Verbal Coercion
 Verbal coercion with children under 3 have documented few
negative effects but not large number of studies
 Verbal coercion of yelling, shaming, expressing disappointment
in children 8 to 12, is related to child and parent reports of
increased aggressiveness and anxiety in children
42

Behaviors Associated with PP
 Vary with age of child and with family and cultural context of its use
as noted
 Children spanked in first two years showed more aggression at 2, and
less cognitive skill at 3; European American children spanked in first 2
yrs. showed more school problems at 6, but African American
children and Latino/a children who were spanked did not
 In most age groups except the 2-5 years, PP related to increases in
aggression and anxiety and in girls, depression
43

Positive Steps to Decrease PP
 When parents have positive moods, resources, and children are
developing well, there is little use of PP
 Triple P-Positive Parenting Program help to increase parents’ skills
and decrease physical punishment and abuse
 Evidence-Based parenting program based on social learning principles and
years of research
 Presented to parents in several formats of community-wide program,
hospital- or clinic-based program, at day care and school settings,
individual-based program, and self-directed program with phone contact
for those in areas where no program is available
44

Purpose of Program
 Helps parents develop capacity for self-regulation:
 How to change their own behaviors
 How to develop their problem-solving skills
 Parents are active agents who choose their own goals of behavior
change, monitor their progress in change, and hold themselves
accountable for change
 Parents gain confidence from seeing the success of active problem-
solving and reaching their goals; they learn to attribute success to
their efforts and not to luck or genes
 Parents teach their children the skills in self-regulation that parents
have learned
45

Five Core Principles for Parents
 Provide a safe, protected, stimulating environment for children
 Provide a positive learning environment in which parents respond to
requests for help, information, and support so children learn to solve
problems themselves
 Use authoritative discipline with clear rules, reasoning, willingness to
discuss disagreements in a calm way, using logical consequences and
time-out
 Parents develop realistic expectations of children and select
appropriate goals for behavior change
 Parents practice self-care as they make changes and learn new skills
in cooperation with the other parent
46

Results of Triple P-Positive Programs
 Used in many different countries; behavior changes documented in
parents and children that are sustained for 3 to 12 months
 Effective for different cultural/ethnic groups; parents select goals
 Currently offered in 9 counties in South Carolina with 9 more counties as
controls; determine its effectiveness in decreasing child abuse/injuries
 Effectiveness of program in South Carolina measured in 3 ways: number of
child maltreatment cases, number of hospital injuries reported due to
maltreatment, and number of out-of-home placements
 At the end of first two years of program, significant drops in these three
measures of maltreatment and both African Americans and European
Americans report high satisfaction with program
47

Strong African American Family Program
(SAAFP) in Georgia
 Researchers surveyed concerns of parents of rural African
American families and found they wanted their children to
avoid early sexual activity and adolescent substance use
 Researchers devised 72-hour-sessions with parents and
children, seen separately for one hour and together for one
hour
48

In SAAFP Parents Learned
 Nurturing parenting skills, paying positive attention and building
strengths
 Ways of monitoring and regulating children’s behavior
 Strategies for communicating information about sex and substances
as well as parents’ expectations in these areas
 Adaptive strategies of racial socialization
49

In SAAFP Children Learned
 Value of following household rules
 Value of doing chores
 Adaptive ways to counter racism
 Importance of having a future orientation of setting/achieving goals
 Ways to counter and resist temptations of early sexual activity and
substance abuse
 Ways those who engage in these early activities differ from those
who do not
50

Results 7 Months After Program compared
to Control Families
 Parents were more positive and supportive with their children
 Parents gave children more general information about early sexual
activity and substance use; parents talked more about their
expectations of children in these areas
 Children had greater acceptance of parents’ rules
 Children had a greater orientation to the future
 Children had a more negative view of those who engaged in
disapproved activities
 Program is tracking future behavior
51

Seven-Step Problem-Solving Approach to Use
with Family Problems When They Arise
 Spend pleasurable time with children each day
 When problem arises, identify it specifically; when and how often it
happens
 Question yourself on the reality of the problem; is it the child or is it
your expectation of the child?
 Get the child’s point of view on the problem
 Agree on an intervention
 Evaluate the results
 Start over again if the intervention does not work, but always spend
some positive time each day with your child
52

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