Helga's mother abandoned her family, including Helga, when Helga was a child to join the Nazi SS. Decades later, Helga and her mother reunite, and Helga learns her mother was a guard at a concentration camp. Her mother's early absence likely caused Helga stress and a disorganized attachment that continued into adulthood in the form of a preoccupied attachment style. At their reunion, Helga took on caretaking roles despite anger towards her mother, exhibiting a role reversal. The meeting provided Helga closure, though her memories of her mother remained mostly negative due to the impact of early childhood stress on memory development.

1. Case Analysis: Let Me Go
Helga Schneider
Case Analysis by Megan Powell
1
Prepared by: Megan Powell

2. Book Summary
Helga’s mother abandoned her
family (including Helga, her younger
brother, and her father) in 1941
when Helga was just a child. After 30
years of separation, they reunite
and Helga learns that her mother
left to join the Nazi SS to become a
guard at the concentration camps.
The book tells of their second and
final reunion about 60 years after her
mother’s departure.
2

3. Parenting Styles Affecting
Child’s Identity
 The style of parenting that a parents assumes can
ultimately affect the way the child identifies themselves.
 Positive and present parenting styles can lead to a normal
identity style, while a negative and/or absent parenting style
can lead to complications when a child is trying to identify
themselves.
 Helga’s mother was absent from her childhood beginning
at an early age creating an uninvolved parenting style.
 The fact that she was absent can create the negative
feeling towards her mother.
 I believe the absence was more detrimental to how Helga
identifies herself and relates to her mother.
3

4. Attachment in Childhood
 It is suggested that a child’s development goes
hand in hand with the attachment they share
with their parent.
 The attachment of a child correlates with
their adjustment and how they will interact
with others as they age.
 Helga had a disorganized attachment with her
mother.
 Even as an adult she exhibits a confusion
when reunited with her mother. Her
behavior prior to the actual reunion was
avoidant at best.
 At reunion Helga had a feeling of
confusion, torn between their history and
biology.
4

5. Attachment in Adulthood
 Style of attachment as adults stems
from our personal practices.
 3 oppositions: self versus other,
autonomy versus relatedness, and
dependent versus depended-on
positions
 However, I believe the we attach as
adults is the way we attached as
children or the way we saw adults
attach to one another when we were
still young and impressionable.
 Helga experiences a preoccupied
attachment.
 Stems from disorganized
attachment as child.
5

6. Role Reversal
 Child dons the role/responsibilities of the parent, while the
parent assumes the role of child.
Gender specific role reversals are common.
Role reversal affects not only parent and child but the
family as a whole
 Helga assumed the role reversal upon the reunion with her
mother.
Despite the fact that she has much anger/resentment
towards her mother, she still helped her mother do small
things.
She also bribed her mother like one would a child. “If you
do what you’re supposed to, I will give you candy”, clearly
in different words but the context is the same.
6

7. The Sandwich Generation
 The stage in life when roles are
flipped and the child is now
taking care of the aging parent.
 Helga experiences this role when
she sees her aging mother sitting
in a wheelchair facing the
window.
 Triggered by her biology she helps
her mother up, she helps her to sit
down, etc.
 I do not find this to be the same as
the role reversal.
 Role reversal is all about the
emotional side of the relationship.
Helga is merely becoming her
mother’s crutch and physical
strength.
7

8. Stress and the Brain
 It is suggested that an area in the brain
connected to memory was smaller in
children experiencing chronic stress
compared to children who do not suffer
from as much stress.
 Putting such an amount of stress on a child
could be considered emotional or
psychological abuse.
 Helga’s mother’s leaving at such a young
age and for such a vile reason could have
caused a great deal of stress or
psychological abuse on her, allowing her
the parts of her brain that access memory
to decrease.
 From the perspective given in the book it
would seem that the only memories she
holds of her mother are of a negative nature.
One must wonder if the reason behind only
the negative memories is that her brain is
only holding on to the strongest memories
because it only has room for only so many
8

9. Memory Recall
 Positive or negative memories affect the way someone recalls a
memory, or reminisces.
 Results show that the authorization of reminiscing functions were affected
by the type of memory (good or bad).
 Helga recalls several memories involving her mother, most of which are
negative memories.
 It can be seen the physical affect these memories have on her when she
describes a struggle to breathe and difficulty standing.
 I believe her mother’s absence and their history also affect the she recalls
her memories and her reaction to those memories
9

10. Parent-Child Dynamic
 Our parent-child dynamic can
affect our capacity to love others.
 Early struggles in life with our
parents can affect the way we
relate to others as adults as we
grow older.
 From first interaction with her
mother there is somewhat of an
emotional disconnect.
 She is struggling to feel that love
that should be engrained in her
biology.
 She feels as much emotion for
her mother at first glance as she
would sitting next to a stranger
on a bus.
10

11. Death Anxiety
 Death and the anxiety it creates can affect a person’s behavior and
social interactions.
 Culture is also a large factor in how a person handle’s death.
 Most religions and/or cultures have a stance on death, so they
found that also plays a factor in how death affects people as
individuals and as a society.
 I believe it was the anxiety death creates in a person was Helga’s
driving force to give in and try once again to visit her mother.
 Helga feels the anxiety of her mother’s demise because once her
mother is gone, all hope at gaining a connection is lost.
11

12. Predicted Outcome for Helga
Schneider (emotionally)
 I feel as if the final meeting between Helga and her
mother is only going to be beneficial to her in the long
run. It had its ups and its downs but it also gave her
some closure with her mother’s leaving. She now
knows what all her mother did during their time apart,
how it affected her mother, and she now knows where
her mother is and how she is doing. She finally made a
connection with her mother, good or bad, it is a
connection she wanted. No matter what their past
was like it is still her mother and knowing she is well (as
well as she can be) and safe could be nothing but a
relief for her.
12

13. References
Ratner, K. (2013). The Role of Parenting and Attachment in
Identity Style Development. University of Central Florida
Undergraduate Research Journal, 7(1), 15-26.
Goldner, L., & Scharf, M. (n.d.). Attachment Security,
Personality, and Adjustment of Elementary School
Children. The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 473-493.
Sochos, A. (n.d.). The Defining Constituents of Adult
Attachment and Their Assessment. Journal of Adult
Development, 87-99.
Macfie, J., Mcelwain, N., Houts, R., & Cox, M. (n.d.).
Intergenerational Transmission OfRole Reversal Between
Parent And Child: Dyadic And Family Systems Internal
Working Models. Attachment & Human Development,
51-65.
Vollrath, M. (2001). Personality and stress. Scandinavian
Journal of Psychology, 42(4), 335-347.
Berk, L. (2014). PART VIII Middle Adulthood. In Exploring
lifespan development (Third ed.). Pearson Education.
13

14. References Continued…
Hayslip, B., Schuler, E., Page, K., & Carver, K.
(n.d.).Probabilistic Thinking and Death Anxiety: A
Terror Management Based Study. Omega: Journal of
Death & Dying, 69(3), 249-270.
Kindsvatter, A., & Geroski, A. (n.d.). The Impact of Early
Life Stress on theNeurodevelopment of the Stress
Response System. Journal of Counseling &
Development, 92(4), 472-480.
Ratner, K. (2013). The Role of Parenting and Attachment
in Identity Style Development. University of Central
Florida Undergraduate Research Journal, 7(1), 15-26.
Mclean, K., & Lilgendahl, J. (2008). Why Recall Our Highs
and Lows: Relations Between Memory Functions,
Age, and Well-being. Memory, 16(7), 751-762.
Karen, R. (1998). Becoming attached: First relationships
and how they shape ourcapacity to love. New York:
Oxford University Press.
14