Jeanne Safer grew up with a difficult brother named Steven who had developmental issues and struggled in school. This led Jeanne to experience premature maturity, survivor's guilt, a compulsion to achieve, and a fear of contagion from her brother's conditions. As an adult, Jeanne became a psychotherapist and wrote books about living with a damaged sibling and the "Caliban syndrome" she experienced as a result of having Steven as her brother.

1. THE NORMAL ONE
LIFE WITH A DIFFICULT OR DAMAGED
SIBLING
JEANNE SAFER, PH.D
PRESENTED BY
MAL LORY KRONICK
PSYC 2103
MONDAY/WEDNESDAY
4:20 PM
1

2. 2
 P SYCHOTHERAP I ST
 RICHARD BROOKHI S ER
 JUDITH KAUFMAN

3. ADDITIONAL BOOKS
WRITTEN BY JEANNE
SAFER, PH.D.
T O P I C S O F H E R
B O O K S
 DIFFICULT/DAMAGED
3
SIBLINGS
 FORGIVENESS
 PARENTING CHOICES
 DEALING WITH DEATH

4. I traveled around a great deal…I would have
stopped,
but I was pursued by something. It always
came upon me
unawares…Then all at once my sister
touched my
shoulder. I turn around and look into her
eyes. Oh Laura,
Laura, I tried to leave you behind me, but I
am more faithful than I intended to be! 4

5. 1. What percentage of
Americans have siblings?
85%
2. What is the Caliban
Syndrome named after?
Shakespeare's The
Tempest
3. Who named the
Caliban Syndrome”?
Jeanne Safer
4. What are the four
Caliban Syndrome
Symptoms?
 Premature maturity
 Survivor guilt
 Compulsion to achieve
 Fear of contagion
5

6. 6
JEANNE AND STEVEN AS
CHILDREN

7. What sensory and cognitive experiences
set Jeanne Safer apart from the rest of us?
 Brother was seven years older than her.
 Jeanne’s brother Steven’s bedroom was in the attic.
 I want to be just like you when I grow up, nevermind.
 Did not think that having nothing of Steven’s was odd.
 Jeanne’s mother only claimed that she had a daughter.
7

8. WHAT MADE JEANNE’S
BROTHER DIFFERENT
FROM HER?
8
S T E V E N W A S A :
 P R O B L E M C H I L D A T S C H O O L
 O V E R W E I G H T
 H A D T R O U B L E E X P R E S S I N G
E M O T I O N S
 D E V E L O P E D D I A B E T E S
 T A L E N T E D W I T H M U S I C , A N D
R E L A T I O N S H I P S O U T S I D E O F T H E
H O M E
 D I D N O T C O M P L E T E C O L L E G E

9. WHAT DEVELOPMENT DID JEANNE
EXPERIENCE BECAUSE OF HER
BROTHER? (COGNITIVE, PHYSICAL,
EMOTIONAL, SOCIAL, ETC.)
 Premature maturity
 Survivor guilt
 Compulsion to achieve
 Fear of contagion
9

10. PROVIDE A DESCRIPTION OF THE JEANNE’S
DEVELOPMENT
She grew up being positive
for other people, but hard on
herself. (COMPULSION TO
ACHIEVE)
DREAMED OF BEING A
PYSCHOTHERAPIST AS A
CHILD (PRE MATURE
MATURITY)
STEVEN FAILED BECAUSE OF HER
(GUILT)
DID NOT WANT HER OWN
CHILDREN BC OF HER BROTHER.
(FEAR OF CONTAGION)
10

11. Anxiety Ambiguity Relief
Depression Envy Uncertainty
Escaping Fear Overcompensat
ion
Vanity Self-Criticism Perfectionism
11
AS JEANNE
DEVELOPED,
WHAT
FEELINGS
DID SHE
EXPERIENCE?

12. What research supports your theory on the
developmental changes experienced by Jeanne Safer,
and her brother Steven in your book?
• Study was called Differential Associations Between Domains of Sibling Conflict and Adolescent
12
Emotional Adjustment
• Treatment about parental differential treatment versus issues regarding personal
space
• If a personal domain conflict happened, then depression and anxiety was an issue
stronger than parental differential treatment.
• Steven and Jeanne did not bond or communicate as they should have.
• Steven had too much alone time, and alone space.
• It was not just the parenting that caused Steven to have significant issues, but also
the space.

13. Personal Items Brought Tears to Adult Jeanne Safer
13
as an Adult
• Jeanne and Steven went to close up their parents home when they passed
away.
• Steven did not want anything, but some items from a family trip.
• Jeanne explained that Steven still has the furniture from the room in the attic
he had as a child.
• She wept, as an adult still about the way that Steven was treated.

14. Do you agree or disagree with the disturbed development of both
Jeanne and Steven?
14
• Steven’s leg had to be amputated, which offered
estrangement (Separation) and disengagement
(Freeing)
• The relationship was not improved, but instead it
offered her and Steven Compassion.

15. Prevalence and predictors of risky and
heavy alcohol consumption among adult
siblings of childhood cancer survivors
• The study provided proof that self
sabotage and guilt are presented when a
normal sibling acknowledges the
damaged siblings issues.
• The acknowledgement of the guilt led to
heavier drinking in the siblings of the
survivor, versus the cancer survivor
themselves.
15
• Although, Jeanne did not turn to
drinking like the case study she never
felt happy or joyful about her
accomplishments because of the guilt.
• As she got older, she was able to
acknowledge and release her Survivors
Guilt.
Even a few glasses of wine or cocktails
a week may increase risk of recurrence
for breast cancer survivors,
researchers found.
By CRYSTAL PHEND
MedPage Today Staff Writer

16. 16
Jeanne Safer explains that recognizing
Caliban allows the symptoms to
diminish…
• You allow children to be children, and nothing more.
• Self-blame becomes gratitude.
• Trying to earn your parents approval from your success is
less important than relaxing.
• Fear becomes acknowledgement, and it does not rule your
life.

17. What is the most probable outcome for this person?
17
“When you fully acknowledge Caliban,
you are no longer the normal one, the
person who either repudiates or
identifies with your damaged sibling
more than you know; you are
yourself.”

18. 18
References
Lown, E. K. (2013). Prevalence and Predictors of Risky and Heavy Alcohol Consumption Among Adult Siblings
of Childhood Cancer Survivors. Psycho-Oncology, 22(5), 1134-1143.
Campione-Barr, N. (2013). Differential Associations Between Domains of Sibling Conflict and Adolescent
Emotional Adjustment. Child Development, 84(3), 938-954.
Writer, C. (2009, December 12). Even Moderate Drinking Can Boost Chance of Breast Cancer Recurrence.
Retrieved November 30, 2014, from
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/OnCallPlusBreastCancerNews/moderate-drinking-linked-breast-cancer-
recurrence/story?id=9306082
Beck, A. (2012, December 2). Emotional Sibling Abuse PSA. Retrieved November 30, 2014, from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbVijxXE-To
Safer, J. (2014, January 1). Welcome, readers and others who want to explore provocative ideas that are
rarely discussed but that have profound effects on our lives. Retrieved November 30, 2014, from
http://www.jeannesaferphd.com/