Social referencing is when a child looks to a trusted caregiver for emotional cues on how to respond in an ambiguous situation. It helps children regulate their emotions and develop social competence. Parents and teachers play a key role as models to guide children's social behaviors and interactions. Fostering social skills through activities like reading books, role playing and conversation helps children develop important skills for school readiness and building relationships.

1. Look at Me: Social Referencing as an Important Component of Social Development An hour presentation for parents of children ages 0-5.

2. Social Referencing

3. Everyday Scenario(Social Referencing) Jayden walks into his preschool class holding his mother’s hand. The teacher greets them and welcomes Jayden to school. The mother and teacher have a short conversation concerning Jayden’s progress. Jayden is hesitant to leave mom’s side and is still holding her hand. The teacher motions to a table and invites Jayden to work on a puzzle with her. Jayden glances up at his mother. The mother smiles warmly and says “go play and have fun and I’ll be back later to pick you up”. Jayden lets go of his mother’s hand and sits at the table and begins the puzzle. As the mother walks towards the door, Jayden wishes his mother good-bye.

4. What is Social Referencing? Social Referencing is the ability to search for and to use social signals to guide one’s behavior in a new situation. Social Referencing is when a child in an ambiguous or new situation looks to an adult, usually a trusted caregiver, for a clue of the appropriate way to respond in the given circumstance.

5. Reasons for Social Referencing Children use the information gained from others to regulate their own behavior First, the child seeks information from others Second, the child uses that information to determine how to act in a given situation

6. Types of Social Referencing Affective Social Referencing This is when a child uses the facial expressions and body language of others to evaluate a new situation When others respond with positive emotions, the child will usually explore the situation, but when others respond with negative emotions, the child will avoid the situation Instrumental Social Referencing This is when a child uses the actions of others to govern his own actions

7. Visual Cliff Experiment The Visual Cliff is a classic experiment which demonstrates the effects of social referencing One can observe this experiment by going online to view:http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=eyxMq11xWzM

8. Why is Social Referencing Important? Once we understand what social referencing is, we need to know why it is important in regard to a child’s social development and why time invested in social development is worthwhile. The elements of social referencing are: 1. Emotional regulation Social Competence School readiness

9. Emotional regulation Reflexes help infants regulate physical development Emotions are innate but have no corresponding reflexes Emotions are developed and learned as children grow

10. Emotional Regulation Adults or more competent peers become the emotional regulators in a child’s life “When infants and toddlers experience strong feelings, they often depend on external regulation such as assistance from a responsive caregiver because they have not yet developed the ability to control their emotions” (Tanyel, 2009, pg. 10).

11. Emotional Regulation The foundation of emotional regulation is self awareness. As toddlers, children “develop an awareness of self as separate from the surrounding environment” (Tanyel, 2009, pg. 10). The development of self awareness and subsequently emotional regulation is a long, slow process characterized by many trials and errors.

12. Social Competence Being able to successfully interact with others is part of being socially competent A child’s ability to regulate their emotions will affect how they interact with others Young children need “partners” to achieve social competence

13. Social Competence Adults can and should act as models of social competence Social competence is not automatic in children, and they need active guidance for social competence to develop “Proper adult guidance increases children’s likelihood of having playmates, friends, and other positive relationships” (Lawhon & Lawhon, 2000, pg. 105).

14. School Readiness The reason that emotional regulation and social competence are important is because they affect a child’s school readiness. Social and emotional development are critical factors in all children’s readiness to learn (Mitchell & Glossop, 2005).

15. Cultural Differences It is important to remember that there are cultural differences as to what constitutes proper social interactions Different cultures have different values “Cultural similarities and differences must be considered when addressing human relationships” (Lawhon & Lawhon, 2000, pg. 105).

16. Parents’ Role Parents play the primary role in their child’s social development and most often are the source of social referencing Parents can do many things to assist their child’s social development

17. Parents’ Role Parents are models and should always: Model positive behaviors Reinforce acceptable social behaviors Modify or correct unacceptable social behaviors Support appropriate friendships Monitor the developmental level of social milestones

18. Parents’ Role Other things parents can do include: Establish a predictable environment/routine Ensure physical and emotional security Set clear expectations on social behavior Assist children to identify and label emotions Promote self control and self regulation Role play social interactions

19. Teachers’ Role Parents, you are not alone in this process Children use many adults as social references Besides family, a teacher is typically an important social role model Teachers have training in social development and can be an effective partner and resource

20. Teachers’ Role In a classroom, a teacher should Allow for social interaction and dramatic play Encourage children to solve their own problems before jumping in Encourage feelings as a form of communication Encourage perspective taking Create dialogue and conversation

21. Practical Applications Now that you understand what social referencing is and the importance of social development, the next question should be “How can I put it into practice?”

22. Practical Applications Spending time with your child is the best way to observe and know how to guide his social development Children’s emotions are like a roller coaster so learn to adapt to their moods and emotions When emotions flare up, use the opportunity to clarify and elaborate on them Reading books on social situations can help children successful navigate new situations

23. Book List The following is a list of books on different social topics: Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman A Chair for My Mother by Vera Williams Imogene’s Antlers by David Small Be Brown by Barbara Bottner No, David! By David Shannon When Sophie Gets Angry-Really, Really Angry… by Molly Bang Dear Mr. Blueberry by Simon James The Emperor’s New Clothes (many versions) Epossumondas by Coleen Selley The Gardener by Sarah Stewart

24. Conclusion Social skills and social competence take time for any young child to master but as a parent be a consistent role model for your child because when they are confronted with new situations you are the one they will look to for guidance.

25. References Lawhon, T., & Lawhon, D.C. (2000). Promoting social skills in young children. Early Childhood Education Journal,28, 105-110. Tanyel, N.E. (2009). Emotional regulation: Developing toddlers’ social competence Dimensions of Early Childhood, 37, 10-14.