Children ages 6-10 develop social competence through building friendships. Peer relationships contribute to social and cognitive development during these years. Children look for acceptance and want to fit in with groups. Teachers can help children build friendships by encouraging social skills, modeling positive interactions, and giving children opportunities to practice social skills with peers. Parents support friendship building by enrolling children in activities, role playing social scenarios, and focusing on each child's individual needs.

1. Building Friendships A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the Social Competence of Middle Childhood: Ages 6-10

3. What is social competency? ability to initiate relationships with peers being able to maintain relationships with peers engaging in satisfying activities and interactions with others Katz, L. G., & McClellan, D. E., 1997

4. Middle Childhood: Ages 6-10Social Observations Typically assemble in larger groups Concerns about being accepted by others Increase in gossip, cliques Social exclusiveness, friends being reluctant to let others join in Long lasting or “best friends” formed More same-gender friendships

5. Why Children Need to Develop Friendships

6. According to Research: Peer relationships contribute to both social and cognitive development. The best childhood predictor of adult success and adaptations is not grades, classroom behavior, but how a child gets along with other children. Hartup, 1992

7. The way children act or are treated by their peers have a significant impact on the relationships they develop. Children who are able to develop a close friendship (even if they have been rejected) increase their feelings towards school. Friendships are all about quality not quantity. (Ladd, 2000)

8. What Does Your Child Look For in a Friend?Click on video below

9. Friendshipvs. Popularity Friendship Popularity a relationship requiring mutual bonding and acceptance between specific children a child can have friendships and not be popular how children are perceived by their peers through acceptance or rejection a child can be popular, yet not have any actual friendships

10. Checklist of Positive Social Skills(McClellan, D. & Katz L., 2001) Individual Attributes Social Skills Attributes Is usually in a positive mood. Is not excessively dependent on adults. Shows empathy towards others. Has positive relationships with one or two peers. Does not seem to be lonely. Displays the capacity for humor. Usually copes with rebuffs adequately. Approaches others positively. Asserts own rights and needs appropriately. Is not easily intimidated by bullies. Gains access to ongoing groups at play and work. Takes turns fairly. Does not draw inappropriate attention to self. Accepts and enjoys peers different from themselves.

12. Children have distinct personalities that they are born with.

13. Cultural differences may affect social situations.

14. If a child is doing poorly in many areas of a social checklist, strategies can be implemented to help them.

16. A Teacher’s Self-Evaluation for Interacting With Children ChecklistLawhon, T. & Lawhon, C., 2000 Do I reflect a positive attitude toward others that can be modeled by children in their relationships? Am I providing opportunities for a child to play with other children from a wide age range? Do I talk with a child about peer relationships, and do I provide opportunities for the child to be heard? When a child is excluded by peers, do I explain that setbacks are temporary and encourage the youngster to try again? Do I encourage a child to be optimistic about being a play partner with others? So I avoid interfering with the play of children and allow them to work out problems themselves? Do I provide helpful information to a child about social relationships how they work? Do I assess a child’s abilities in various situations that are encountered?

17. A Teacher’s Self-Evaluation for Interacting With Children ChecklistLawhon, T. & Lawhon, C., 2000 Do I provide time for each child to practice and develop social skills with others? Am I sensitive to the youngster’s attachments and interactions? Do I encourage parents to listen to and converse with their child about socialization, peer relationships, personal feelings, and experiences? Do I provide support, give explanations, and use other positive communication techniques with the child? Do I enhance social learning through coaching, modeling, and reinforcing positive social skills, like cooperative play in a friendly, approving manner? Do I recognize that some children’s social status can be enhanced by improving their academic successes, and do I guide them towards those achievements? Do I provide parents with information about young children’s peer relationships, qualities associated with successful interactions, and types of problems encountered so they can help their child adjust?

18. A Teacher’s Self-Evaluation for Interacting With Children ChecklistLawhon, T. & Lawhon, C., 2000 Do I use a variety of teaching techniques to present acceptable social information to a child, like dramatic play and literature and stories? Am I gently, fair, consistent, and reasonable? Do I spend time with each child? Do I encourage mutual respect? Do I make a concerted effort to help a child change patterns of extreme aggression? Do I use calm words, express joys, and respond to the child’s cues? Do I provide an environment where a child feels comfortable and safe in developing friendships? Do I reflect positive emotional health? Do I redirect behaviors and attitudes that may hinder a child’s pro-social interactions? Do my attitude and my behavior towards each child reflect acceptance, support, and encouragement? **A “no” response indicates an area for growth.**

19. Guiding Your Child to Building Friendships Parent’s Role enroll children in activities role play teach them techniques from video of ways to meet peers build child’s self-esteem don’t be pushy focus on individual needs of child spend time talking to your child

20. Loneliness in Young ChildrenBullock, J., 1998 Loneliness often can lead to poor peer relationships. Factors than can lead to loneliness outside of school include: conflict at home, moving, divorce, death of someone special. Factors at school include: peer rejection, lacking social skills, low self-esteem, being teased. Intervention Steps identify problem help child through communication, social skills, and expressing feelings partner child up boost child’s self-confidence

21. Helping Kid’s Cope With Losing A Friendship

22. “Proper adult guidance increases children’s likelihood of having playmates, friends, and other positive relationships.” Lawhon, T. & Lawhon, D.

24. References Blume, L. B., & Zembar, M. J. (2007). Middle childhood to middle adolescence: Development from ages 8 to 18. Upper Saddle River, N.J: Pearson Merrill/Prentice Hall. Bullock, J. R., & ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. (1998). Loneliness in young children. Champaign, IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education, University of Illinois. Hartup, W. W., & ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education, Urbana, IL. (1992). Having Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends: Relationships as Educational Contexts. ERIC Digest. Having Good Friends. Sunburst Visual Media. 2000 Retrieved January 29, 2011, from Learn360: http://www.learn360.com/ShowVideo.aspx?ID=146264 Friendship Issues. Sunburst Visual Media. 2000 Retrieved January 30, 2011, from Learn360: http://www.learn360.com/ShowVideo.aspx?ID=147880 Katz, L. G., & McClellan, D. E. (1997). Fostering children's social competence: The teacher's role. Washington, D.C: National Association for the Education of Young Children. Lawhon, T., & Lawhon, D. C. (January 01, 2000). Promoting Social Skills in Young Children. Early Childhood Education Journal, 28, 2, 105-110. McClellan, D. E., Katz, L. G., & ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. (2001). Assessing young children's social competence. Champaign, IL: ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education, University of Illinois.