This document discusses relationships and being single. It defines different types of single relationships and discusses some of the difficulties of being single such as stigma. It emphasizes developing personal power when single through self-esteem and identity. Forming intimate relationships requires honesty, and what we want from partners may change. Marriage can celebrate love but also reinforces gender roles and half of marriages end in divorce. The document advocates doing what makes you happy in your own life.

1. Relationships
By: Angel McPherson

2. Being Single
Defined As:
Having one or many lovers
An occasional, casual sexual encounter
A committed relationship without marriage
No sexual or romantic relationships at all
Difficulties
Outcome due to trauma, illness, or loss
Single mothers by choice or circumstance
Stigma that women are “incomplete” without a man and
the effects that has on us (others opinions/criticisms)

3. “When we are happy and strong on our
own, we are better able to choose freely
and carefully the men (or women) we do
become close to. Creating a safe and equal
relationship with a man (or woman) can then
become a challenge we seek and enjoy out
of mutual attraction, admiration, and love.”

4. Personal Power
May mean any of the following or more to different
people:
Self-esteem
Sense of identity
Positive body image
Self-Confidence
Enjoyment in what one does
A sense of community contribution
Financial stability/earning power
Self-reliance
Ability to communicate

5. Factors Influencing Personal Power
Social
Cultural
Economic
Historical
Racism
Classism
Centering Practices

6. Intimacy
Requires honesty
What we want in a partner may change over the years
Fear of intimacy – physically or emotionally – is a
natural instinct

7. Commitment, Monogamy, &
Marriage
Why?
We want the love and connection with our partner to be
celebrated and supported
The belief marriage offers spiritual and material stability
Health benefits, property rights, and residency privileges
We want our children to grow up in a legally recognized
family

8. However, Marriage also …
Reinforces traditional gender roles
Has a long history of oppressing women (women in abusive
marriages have a hard time breaking that vow)
Half of all marriages in the US end in divorce
So…do what works for YOUR life and makes YOU HAPPY!

9. What do you think about marriage?
Personally, I would love to be married however, I refuse to
settle for anything less than I want or deserve. I will not get
married for the sake of being married. I want an equal
relationship without losing myself. I’m almost 32 and the
only one of my close friends who are single. I see so many
unhappy marriages and I don’t want that to be me. The
quote I always refer back to from Sex in the City is “Some
people are settling down. Others are settling. But I refuse to
settle for anything less than butterflies.” I am teaching my
daughter to be independent but open to love as
well, without compromising herself and at 15 she is smarter
than I ever have been.

10. Making It Work
In any relationship problems arise regardless of how
solid and stable the relationship is
Develop good communication
Try to see things through your partners eyes
Pay attention to each other
Enjoy being separate
Develop other friendships and community
Know when to leave
Get help if you need it