- Healthy relationships evolve over time through observing role models, sharing experiences, disclosing personal information, participating in shared interests, and developing emotional intimacy and commitment. - Gender roles and sociological factors like culture influence relationship development, with research finding that androgynous individuals balancing masculine and feminine traits may fare better. - Theories of love include types focused on meeting needs, incorporating intimacy, passion and commitment, and different love styles. Traits like autonomy, communication, intimacy and resolving conflicts together support successful relationships.

1. Chapter Seven Building Healthy Relationships

2. Forming Relationships Healthy relationships evolve, they don’t happen spontaneously Adolescents learn by observing “role models” on how to interact with one another Most adults don’t receive any formal training for building, nurturing, and maintaining relationships As a result, adolescents have a difficult task of learning how to foster healthy relationships without the benefit of previous modeling Lesbians have difficulty finding role models for dating based upon past culture

3. Stages of Dating Attraction (first stage) Rituals (shared experiences that deepen a bond) Information Sharing (disclosing more personal information as well as engaging in physical contact e.g. kissing, etc.) Activities (personal interests that allow mutual acceptance) Emotional Intimacy (feeling of knowing and being known) Commitment (feelings of attachment and the desire to be in a more intimate relationship)

4. Gender Role Attributes There is a profound influence on the development of relationships based on psychological factors such as masculinity and femininity Recent studies showed a blend of masculine and feminine traits labeled androgynous Androgynous individuals were believed to possess the traits that allowed them to function more equally in a relationship and to fare better psychologically

5. Sociological Factors These factors impact the development of relationships Some scholars suggest women are more relational, whereas men are more autonomous Females and males tend to be socialized differently according to values and beliefs of their culture In the United States, men tend to embrace the cultural and psychological aspects of an individualistic society, while women tend to embrace the messages of a collective society

6. Theories of Love Maslow’s D love & B Love D Love is based on deficiency (meet one’s unmet needs) B Love is based on being secure and having freedom Sternberg’s Triangular Theory (Figure 7.1) Focuses on 3 components with 9 combinations of love Commitment Intimacy Passion John Alan Lee’s 6 Lovestyles Erotic love Ludic love Pragmatic love Manic love Altruistic love Storgic love

7. Traits of a Successful Relationship Separating emotionally from the families of origin and creating a new family Maintaining autonomy and balancing it with togetherness Establishing a vital sexual relationship that remains free from distractions Recognizing the changes that occur with parenthood and keeping communication open Confronting crises and facing adversity together Determining safe ways to express differences, conflicts, anger, and seeking resolution Creating humor that keeps the little things in perspective and maintains the dynamic stimulation Nurturing and comforting each other, allowing dependency and vulnerability to feel safe Remembering the early romantic, idealized images of love for the partner while facing the reality of shifts in the relationship

8. Types of Relationships Marriage and Committed Relationships Cohabitation Interracial and Mixed Race Couples Lesbian Couples Single Lifestyles and Parenthood

9. Love Addiction This is a relationship built on faulty thinking and feeling This pattern has been described as love/avoidance addiction It occurs when the “ love addict ” partner feels the need to be rescued and the other partner “ avoidance addict ” attempts to avoid involvement with the partner Their fears become abandonment and intimacy, which become reversed over time The relationships will deteriorate until one partner leaves

10. Divorce According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 52% of all first marriages end in divorce The National Center for Health Statistics reported for 2004 the national divorce rate was 3.7 per 1,000 The emotional and financial effects of divorce are greater for women, especially older women Many women over time will re-marry which have been found to be even more fragile, more than 62% of remarriages, lead to divorce Newly blended families fall into conflicts with regards to needs that are sometimes unrealistic or tensions created with different parents

11. Potential Sources of Conflict External Affair Money Sexuality Child Rearing and Household Labor Inattentiveness

12. Resolving Conflicts-Fighting Fair Successful negotiation requires that both partners must: Clearly state the problem or complaint Agree to discuss the problem or complaint Commit to: Change the pattern Find an acceptable compromise Disagree See Health Tips: Fighting Fair

13. Chapter Seven Building Healthy Relationships