Add Value in Your Marriage

ADD VALUE IN YOUR marriage
Every time I come across couples, I pick one or
two things about their marriages. Most couples
are not comfortable in their marriages. There is a
lot of mistrust in these marriages. There are ways
that can be used to add values in these marriages.
There is hope in the Marriage Institution.
Kigume KaruriThursday, April 13, 2017 1

• This week I have talked to two women who
are on the verge of moving out of their
marriages. The reasons given hold some
water but I believe it is not the solution. We
can add values on the areas in our marriages
that bring lots of friction.
Thursday, April 13, 2017 Kigume Karuri 2

• God desires us to have fulfilling marriages.
• Everything begins in the home, in the family.
Remember this truth: The things we treasure
have value to us, and the things that have
value, we treat with respect. The real secret
to improving our marriages is learning to
value our spouses.

• How do you value your spouses? You value
your spouse in the way you treat him or her in
the small things.
• Small things matter. Most times we ignore the
small things. They accumulate in our emotional
bank accounts and become big issues in the
marriage.
• Don’t be ignorant. Work on those small things.

• In I Peter 3:7, the Bible tells us that a woman
needs to be highly valued to operate properly.
It says, “Husband, likewise, dwell with them
with understanding, giving honor to the wife,
as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life, that your prayers
may not be hindered.” She will never meet
your needs or expectations unless she is highly
valued.

• In Ephesians 5:25-28, God tells husbands
to love and cherish their wives. This
scripture says, “25. Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ also loved the church
and gave Himself for her, 26. that He
might sanctify and cleanse her with the
washing of water by the word,

• 27. that He might present her to Himself a
glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that she should be holy
and without blemish. 28. So husbands ought
to love their own wives as their own bodies;
he who loves his wife loves himself.”

• In Ephesians 5:22-24, God tells wives to
respect and honor their husbands. It says,
“22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as
to the Lord. 23. For the husband is head of
the wife, as also Christ is head of the church;
and He is the Savior of the body. 24.
Therefore, just as the church is subject to
Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything.”

• We should treat one another with love, care,
and value, even when we do not see it.
• We can treat our spouses with respect, honor,
decency, love, kindness, and tenderness, even
when we do not see it. You see, we build and
increase value. We do not increase value by
trying to decrease others, by putting them
down, or by being angry with them.

• What do you do when you see no value in
your spouse? You must create value. Where
you see no value or little value, you must
create it. In creating value in your spouse, you
must speak those things as though they are,
even when they are not. Instead, most people
just give up. They criticize what they do not
like and end up devaluing their spouses
instead of creating value.

Ways to increase value of our spouses
• We create value in the following ways:
• 1. We speak value;
• 2. We treat others with value;
• 3. We acknowledge God’s value.
• Let us look at it deeper.

• 1. In order to increase value, we speak value
• The most powerful way we can create value
is to speak value. It is so important that we
learn to speak the right thing.
• A. It is important in the home and family that
we speak things that are beneficial, not
harmful.

• B. We should speak things that build up
family members, not tear them down. The
Word tells us that the power of life and death
is in the tongue. The tongue creates.
• Prov. 14:1 says, “A wise woman builds her
house, but the foolish pulls it down with her
hands.”

• C. Husbands and wives should never speak
evil of one another. Even if they disagree,
husbands and wives should still back each
other up in front of the children.
• D. We should always speak words of
encouragement, building up and increasing
the value of the other person at all times and
in all situations.

• Speaking value to other people makes them
want to be a better person.

• E. A spouse may think he/she can criticize
and condemn his/her spouse into being who
he/she wants him/her to be. It will not work.
All it will do is to drive the two farther away.
It will decrease their value, and it will give
them every reason to be friendly with
someone who will speak positive words to
them and about them.

• 2. Work on increasingvalue by treating your spouse with
value.
• A. When you give value, or increase value, in
the other person, then that person wants to
be a better person.

• Philippians 2:3 says, “3. Let nothing be done
through selfish ambition or conceit, but in
lowliness of mind let each esteem others
better than himself.”

• B. We create value in our spouses by treating
them with value. God’s way is to treat them as
if they had more value than they actually do.
• In Ephesians 4:26b we are told not to “. . . let
the sun go down on your wrath.”
• When we do not do this, we simply stop trying
to do the things necessary to make a successful
marriage. We feel that a wall has been built
between us over time.

• C. We can treat our spouses with value by
reassuring them that we are totally
committed to them.
• D. We can increase the value of our
relationships by building common interests
that we can both be involved in. Both people
in a marriage must work at this. When both
parties in a marriage have things that they
love doing together, then the marriage
relationship increases in value.

• 3. We create greater value when we acknowledge the value that
God has given to us.
• Every person should treat others with value
because we are all created in God’s own
image. God has placed great value on each
of us, demonstrated by His willingness to
sacrifice His life for us.

• A. We acknowledge our value by
acknowledging the price that Jesus paid for
our salvation. What kind of price was paid?
It was the highest price possible. God sent
his own Son to die on a cross for us so that
we can be born again and have relationship
with Him.

• B. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in
God’s own image. In your mother’s womb, you
had value. You have value today. People
sometimes have no hope and want to give up,
but the Word of God says that you are
valuable. Every human being is valuable, has
worth. That teaches me that I should treat
everyone with value and decency and respect.

• C. We actually create value when we do it,
and the more we do it, the more value we
create for the other person.
• D. We grow in love with our spouse more and
more as the years go by because we have
invested so much value into the other
person, and they, in turn, have invested so
much value in us.

• Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done
through selfish ambition or conceit, but in
lowliness of mind let each esteem others better
than himself.”
• E. We must value others highly. This can easily
be applied in the marriage. Many times the
success of a marriage is dependent upon
whether or not each spouse chooses to value
the other highly.

• God’s plan is for us to live a life of increasing
the value of other people, our spouse, our
loved one, our friends.
• Begin creating greater value in your spouse
and this increases your own value.
• You will never treat people with respect until
you learn to live a life in which you are
continuously increasing the value of other
people.

• Begin creating greater value in your spouse
and this increases your own value.

Add Value in Your Marriage

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