Remember: great patience, determination and commitment are essential to making your marriage work. Work on your marriage.

1. WORK ON YOUR
MARRIAGE
Marriage is the most fertile ground for conflict.
Spouses enter into marriage without any
experience at all. Initially spouses try to learn
from each other but as time passes on, they start
taking their own stands. Over time they may not
“stomach” each other. Hence the need to work
on our marriages.
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2. • The lifelong commitment of a man and his
wife to each other is something special. God
created marriage to bring joy and blessing to
men and women, and to be the basis of a
safe nurturing environment in which children
can grow up.
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3. • If you base your impression of marriage from
the world around, us you would get the idea
that it is both optional and dispensable,
rather than special.
• Although the attitude of the world around us
is that marriage is optional and dispensable,
God’s attitude to marriage is that it is
essential.
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4. • We all want to have a happy marriage. We
must be willing to repair the resulting
emotional damage that affects marriages.
Not only will this save the marriage, but it
will enable you to completely recover from
the mistakes you have made.
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5. • When marriage gets tough, a common
reaction among many husbands and wives is
to put distance between themselves to lessen
the pain.
• But remember, great patience, determination
and commitment are essential to making
your marriage work.
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6. • Marriage problems usually occur when one
or both of the spouses is having a bad day,
when they are extremely stressed, or have
used poor judgment.
• The challenge is for you to find a way not to
disengage or stay angry at your spouse.
• .
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7. • This applies to both the offender and the
offended. If you feel that you are the
“offended,” then appreciate your spouse’s
attempt to resolve your marriage problems.
• Make the most of every opportunity to work
on your marriage.
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8. Work on your Marriage
• For Your marriage to work:
• 1. Take responsibility
When marriage problems occur, both
spouses are usually to blame. How can you
expect to have a better marriage if you can’t
even accept responsibility for your role in
helping to create the marriage problems?
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9. • Getting defensive won’t help your marriage.
Be open and let your spouse know that you
take responsibility for your mistakes.
• 2. Listen to your spouse
Listening to your spouse is very important
when you are trying to work on your
marriage. Just because you don’t agree with
their point of view doesn’t mean that they
are wrong.
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10. • Acknowledging their point of view shows
them that you consider them an equal in the
relationship. It also reveals that you are
willing to see things from their point of view.
• 3. Apologize quickly
A simple heart felt apology can save marriage
especially if you have a hard time admitting
that you are wrong.
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11. • “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” These
simple words, if worked on, can take the
marriage far.
• 4. Confide in your spouse
If you want to have a better marriage, be
honest with your spouse; share your fears
and insecurities with them. This is a great
way to improve understanding, closeness and
intimacy in your marriage.
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12. • When you are confiding in your spouse, say
things like; “I was really worried about
financial spending and this makes me so
angry. I don’t mean to hurt you. Please
forgive me.”
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13. • 5. Find common grounds that both agree on.
Nothing destroys a happy marriage faster
than focusing on your differences. In working
for your marriage , you should choose to
focus on what the two of you have in
common.
• Look for areas of common interest and
strengthen those areas.
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14. • 6. Seek ways of improving your marriage
You can’t be doing the same things every
time and expect change. In working for your
marriage, quit repeating the same mistakes
over and over again. If you say you are going
to try harder, make an effort.
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15. • Show your spouse that you are trying to
change and he or she will appreciate it. Don’t
just make promises in order to quiet your
spouse.
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16. Change the way you do things
• 1. Respecting each other must be your top
priority. Attacking one another with mean
words with the intention of getting even,
only aggravates the conflicts. So choose your
words carefully.
• At the same time, avoid bringing up past
conflicts. And whatever you do, do not let
other people cloud your view of one another.
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17. • 2. Focus on each other. This is your marriage.
It is your relationship.
• 3. Make it a priority to take time to talk to
each other every day. This deepens intimacy.
• Take a trip or retreat together, or just go out
of the home. Doing these things creates great
opportunities for communication and
growing closerto each other.
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18. • 4. Divorce is not an option. Make a
commitment to do whatever it takes to save
the marriage.
• 5. Seek to understand each other. Remember
that understanding someone isn’t necessarily
admitting that you agree with them.
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19. • 6. Listen to each other, especially when one
wants to release some of their emotional or
mental baggage.
• 7. Pursue friendship with your spouse. Not
only does this show them kindness, it helps
to guard against them looking for another
person to confide in, which can lead to
infidelity.
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20. • 8. Pray together.
• Seek God and make Him the center of your
relationship. Even if your spouse chooses not
to pray, you can. But if both of you can
welcome God into your relationship, then
things should begin improving immediately
because of His healing grace.
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21. Finally you can transform your
Marriage
• Your marriage can be transformed.
• I believe each of us is incomplete and
unhealed as individuals. God places us with a
spouse who may be our opposite, someone
we may not always understand. But if we
trust in Him and follow His plan, He uses that
spouse to heal and complete us. Through
marriage, He takes us on a healing journey.
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22. • Seek all ways of ensuring you work on your
marriage. It takes the efforts of both of you
to accomplish this.
• In our 41 years of marriage, we have worked
on our marriage. Our children have left home
and we are EMPTY NESTERS.
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23. • Prayer creates the capacity within your heart
to understand your spouse.
Remember: great patience, determination and commitment are
essential to making your marriage work.
Work on your marriage.
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