Of late this subject has bothered me so much after seeing the many marriages that are breaking up. Some of these marriages never went beyond one year. Some have broken up after many years.

1. What causes Marriage breakups?
Of late this subject has bothered me so much
after seeing the many marriages that are
breaking up. Some of these marriages never
went beyond one year. Some have broken up
after many years.
Kigume Karuri13/02/2017 1

2. • There are many reasons that families break
up. It is something that is hard for the adults
concerned and also for any children in the
family.
• Break ups can be hard for even grown
children going through the break up of their
parents.
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3. REASONS COUPLES BREAKUP
• 1. INFEDILITY
• The main thing which may cause a break up is
infidelity. This is something that often hurts
both spouses in the relationship. The cheating
partner may go through a lot of feelings of
guilt, while the partner that was cheated on
may feel deeply hurt and may even blame
themselves... "What did I do wrong?", "Why
doesn't he/she love me?", etc.
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4. • 2. EXCESSIVE ARGUMENTS
• Another thing that causes families to break up
is excessive arguments. In today's world,
where often times, both partners have to
work outside the home, even if they have
young children, stress levels get high.
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5. • 3. MONEY
• If there are problems with finances...not
enough money coming into the household to
cover expenses, this can be another issue of
tension.
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6. • 4. ABUSE
• Abuse causes families to break up in some
form. In most cases of this kind, the break up
is for the best for all concerned unless some
adequate form of therapy or other help is
provided.
• There are different kinds of abuse, including
verbal, physical and sexual. Some types of
abuse are worse than others.
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7. • 5. Other interests come between you.
• These are things or issues that may take up
lots of time for one spouse denying the other
spouse any time. In the past nothing could
come between you. You were inseparable.
But, other things began to grab one or both
of your attention slowly, over time. Outside
distractions will destroy a good marriage.
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8. • 6. Unresolved conflict.
• Every couple is different. When conflict
develops at some point it must be addressed.
Hidden pain never disappears on its own. And,
many couples simply don’t know how to
address conflict.
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9. • Conflict left unattended sometimes sits like it
never existed. But, oh it did. And, it does.
Someone is holding on to it. Trust me. And,
the longer it sits the deeper the wedge it
causes.
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10. • 7. The couple stops dreaming together.
• When a couple is dating they have lots of
dreams together. They discuss their future.
They dream about where they will live and
travel. They dream about family and
adventure. It’s an energy which fuels the
relationship. When the dreaming stops then
the relationship starts having problems.
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11. • 8. Boredom.
• This is one of the leading causes of marriages
breakups. Couples quit dating, quit laughing,
quit having fun together. They get caught in the
routines and busyness of life. Boredom sets in
and the closeness they once shared begins to
drift. The enemy loves this and suddenly one or
both spouses seek excitement elsewhere.
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12. • 9. Living separate agendas.
• It’s not OK to have separate agendas. The
agenda of a marriage should be two very
different people blending those
differences into one. When this is not
happening, the strength of the marriage
will slowly or quickly fade away.
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13. • Reconnect and get realigned with where we
are as a couple and where we are going. It
will take intentionality on your part and
granted, on both of your parts to address
these issues. But, a good marriage is worth
the effort.
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14. • 10. UNMET EXPECTATIONS
• All spouses enter into the marriage
institution with very good and sometimes
very high expectations. Over a time they get
frustrated in that all they were yearning for in
not in their marriage. This brings hurting and
frustrations in their marriage.
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15. • 11. DISTANT RELATIONSHIPS.
• When people marry, there desire is to be
together. As challenges in life, job
opportunities, transfers, work or business in
or outside the country come , this causes the
emotional attachment the couple had to wear
out. Over a time this kind of marriage may end
up breaking up.
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16. Solutions to the Breakup Issues
• 1. Involve God
• Let God be the centre of your marriage. Seek
to know what God intentions for marriage
was.
• Read the Bible to get insights of the marriage
institution.
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17. • 2. Communication is the key to any good
relationship.
• It is important to communicate with your
spouse. Know what their needs are, and try to
provide them.
• Communication is important not only to know
your spouse’s needs, but to make family based
decisions that can become added stress if it is
put off.
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18. • 3. Encourage family activities.
• That doesn't mean that you have to go out
and spend a lot of money going out but being
together as a family is crucial.
• It can mean spending an hour or so an
evening a few times a week just doing things
together.
• Eating together is so encouraging.
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19. • 4. Be there for each other.
• The reason people marry is to be there for
each other. Avoid as much as possible distant
marriages.
• Build your physical, spiritual, social and
emotional capacities for each other.
• Simply be there for each other.
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20. • 5. Speak Words of Affirmation
• Spouses love to be assured every time.
Words build up the relationship.
• Every spouse wants to hear good words as it
affirms the relationship is good.
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21. • 6. Commitment to each other is vital
• Commit to strengthen your marriage.
• Get to the bottom of why you married each
other. As people seek wealth and as children
come, the level of commitment seems to be
reducing.
• Go back to the basics.
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22. • 7. Set your marriage and family goals
together
• When there is agreement on where the
family is going, when spouses sit to set their
goals together, I believe harmony, mutual
understanding and respect set in.
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23. Finally
• When we enter into the marriage institution,
we must understand that our spouses
become the closest persons in our lives.
• When we hurt each other, it will be hurts for
a long time unless we learn quickly to forgive
each other.
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24. • Emotional hurts can sometimes take a very
long time to heal.
• Remember that if children have already
come, they will be hurt too.
• Lets avoid any issues that could bring hurts to
the marriage and family.
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