5 Stages of Grief and 4 Steps to Forgiveness and an explanation of their connection at the end. [ http://www.lifeway.com/Article/Steps-to-forgiveness ]

1. 5 STAGES OF GRIEF/
KÜBLER-ROSS MODEL
Prepared by:
Garcia, Ida Regine
Medallo, JB Rose

2. DEFINITION

3. KÜBLER-ROSS MODEL
 first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969
 inspired by her work with terminally ill patients
 postulates a series of emotional stages experienced by survivors of
an intimate's death
 the stages are not a linear and predictable progression
deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.
GRIEF

4. STAGES

5. DENIAL AND ISOLATION
One may not want to believe what is happening and that it is
happening to him/her. It can bring about a dip in productivity and the
ability to think and act. After the initial shock subsides, one may
experience denial and may remain focused on the past. Some people
tend to remain in the state of denial for a long time and may lose
touch with reality.

6. ANGER
When the realization finally hits, and one understands the gravity of
the situation, he/she may become angry and may look for someone
to blame. Anger can be manifested or expressed in many ways. While
some take out the anger on themselves, others may direct it towards
others around them. One always tends to remain irritable, frustrated
and short tempered during this stage.

7. BARGAINING
When the stage of anger passes away, one may start thinking about
ways to postpone the inevitable and try to find out the best thing left
in the situation. Those who are not faced by death but by another
trauma may try to negotiate in the situation and come to a point of
compromise.

8. DEPRESSION
A stage in which the person tends to feel sadness, fear, regret, guilt
and other negative emotions. This may seem like a lowest point in life
with no way ahead. Some common signs of depression include
sadness, low energy, feeling demotivated, losing trust in god, etc.

9. ACCEPTANCE
When people realize that fighting the change that is coming into their
life is not going to make the grief go away, they resign to the
situation and accept it completely. The resigned attitude may not be a
happy space but is one in which the person may stop resisting
change and move ahead with it

10. SAMPLE SITUATIONS

11.  Dead Car Battery example
 Children grieving in divorce
 Grieving a lost amorous relationship
 Grieving in substance abuse

12. Dead Car Battery
It’s a chilly winter morning, and it is dark outdoors. There is a thin
layer of frost on the ground but you are late for work and hence have
to rush out to the car parked outside. As you place the key in the
ignition and turn the car on, you realize that the battery is dead.
Shock and denial – Your first reaction is of absolute shock and denial.
You cannot believe this happening to you when you are already
running late, and you thus try to start the car again and again.
Anger – Now that you realize the car cannot be started, you begin to
feel angry and very mad at the situation.
Bargaining – Even on knowing it won’t help, you start asking the car to
start, just for once. You promise it in your mind that you will keep it
maintained and get the battery charged as soon as possible.
Depression – All the negative thoughts start rushing to your mind. You
begin to feel depressed, sad and hopeless. You fear your job will be
taken away and see now way out of the situation.
Acceptance – Now you figure out what you should do next. You can a
cab and decide to deal with the situation later on.

13. 4 STEPS TO
FORGIVENESS

14. 1. HURT: IDENTIFY, EXPERIENCE,
AND EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS.
 Who did this to you?
 When did it occur?
 Where did it happen?

15. 2. HATE: IF YOU HAVE BEEN HURT,
YOU HATE.
 Hate sin, not the sinner. Make this distinction to be sure your hate
is directed toward a permissible target.
 Unconfessed, persistent hatred often leads to depression.

16. 3. HOOK: ACKNOWLEDGE THE
DECEPTIVE FEELING OF CONTROL.
Refusing to forgive provides a feeling of power, but this feeling is
deceptive as it is really a cover for your own sense of hurt and
vulnerability.
 Refuse to be a victim
 Cancel the debt
 Get on with your life
 Allow God to be the justice maker
Revenge feels good for a time; but ultimately, it does not work. The
pain you give can never cancel the pain you have received. Get out of
the way and let God take care of this.

17. 4. HEAL: FORGIVENESS IS BOTH AN
EVENT AND A PROCESS.
 Letting an offender off your hooks is an event.
 Finding relief from your own pain is a process.
It takes time. You must keep opening your hurt heart to God, and you
will experience healing over time.
One day you will wake up and find yourself thinking differently about
the one who hurt you. You may never like or trust this person, but the
intensity of your hurt will diminish. One day you will find yourself
praying for your offender. Soon you will realize you are free.
Forgiveness is the road to freedom. But it makes little sense unless
seen in the context of Christ's forgiveness toward you.

18. RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
GRIEF AND FORGIVENESS

19. Forgiveness can help grieving people to heal. Anger is a normal
response to the death of a loved one. Survivors may become angry at
the person who died, at a doctor or caregiver who “could have
prevented the death,” or even at themselves for not saving their loved
one. Or maybe someone said or did something hurtful after the
death. Anger is an emotion that is meant to be felt for a short time.
When anger is experienced over a prolonged period of time, it is
called “resentment.” Resentment is a chronic condition that harms our
health and prevents us from being happy. It can cause us to become
bitter and focused on the negative aspects of life. Forgiveness is
important, then, because of the toll that resentment can take on our
minds and bodies. It can cause far greater harm to ourselves than to
the person who hurt us in the first place.
It is important to experience the feelings of anger, hurt, and fear—to
process the hurtful event and to work toward some resolution of the
situation. This practice of forgiveness, this letting go of resentment,
then, can lead to compassion for others and healing for ourselves.