Mindfulness is about being present in the moment and accepting feelings, thoughts, and sensations calmly. The document outlines 11 tools for mindful parenting: 1) Observation of time, space, body, and environment; 2) Acknowledging thoughts and feelings without judgment; 3) Accepting people and situations as they are instead of how they "should" be; 4) Letting go of expectations; 5) Being curious; 6) Letting go of control; 7) Watching resistance; 8) Becoming comfortable with discomfort; 9) Being compassionate; 10) Being grateful; 11) Meditating to focus on the present moment. The overall message is that mindfulness begins with presence - for children, families,

1. 11 Tools for Mindful Parenting
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is achieved by becoming aware of the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and
accepting feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. To be mindful is to be truly alive, present to what
you are doing and in harmony with those around you.
1. Observation
Observation is a powerful tool. By noticing the sensations of time, space and of our body and
environment we can acknowledge the impact it may has for our behaviour, interaction with
others and stimulation of our nervous system. This is true for the child and for ourselves.
2. Acknowledgment
Simply by acknowledging anything in the present moment e.g. that you have a thought, the
child is hungry, you are tired, the lights are very bright, the noise level is high, you are
frustrated etc. we can suspend judgement and allow empathy for the child, yourself or the
situation.

2. 3. Accept people and situations as they are
Instead of jumping to conclusion, labeling a child, or thinking how the child or situation
‘should’ be, allow the benefit of doubt and allow. When we stop trying to change a person and
start accepting for who he or she is, we are able to be with them, embrace the challenge and
start enjoying the experience.
4. Let go of expectations
This is similar to the previous statement, but it is useful to start watching, whether you have
an expectation to a situation. Then you may ask yourself where this expectation is coming from
and whether it serves the situation. E.g. you have planned a fun trip to the aquarium so the
children will have a great time. So your expectation is for the children to have a great time.
But for whatever reason they don’t enjoy the trip. As a result you may get angry, anxious,
nervous, frustrated, or you may feel not good enough. But if you go to the aquarium just for an
experience, without the expectation, how a great time or fun time should look like, then most
likely you will be ok, with whatever mood the children are.
5. Be curious
Being curious is a life-saver. Let go of what you think you know, ask more questions, notice
more clues. Be curious about behaviour, be curious about expressions, and be curious about
your feelings. Acknowledge your thoughts and become curious about them too.
6. Let go of control
We often think we control things…but it is only an illusion. Life is uncontrollable. Just when we
think we have things under control, something unexpected comes up to disrupt everything. And
then we are frustrated because things didn’t go the way we wanted. Instead, practice letting
go of control and learn to flow. An example would be you used your time efficiently and you
have just got your toddler dressed. You are perfectly on time to get to playgroup, before the
sign says: “sorry full”, when your toddler soils his diaper. You rush and try to change his diaper
and clothes again, now your toddler has a temper tantrum.
7. Watch your resistance
When something feels uncomfortable or we have to make a change, we will meet our
resistance. It’s part of wanting to keep things the same and/or under control. An example
would be you are with a child who is whining a lot or has a high pitched voice. You may have so
much resistance to that sound of the voice that you don’t even want to be with the child. You
will have resistance to care and be loving. But the voice or child isn’t really the problem… it is
your resistance to the voice.
8. Become OK with discomfort
This can be a big one. Because of the unease or unwillingness to be in discomfort many of us
build resistance up. And to be able to keep our resistance we start to justify and blame
something or somebody for our situation. Here we have to go back to step one and start
noticing our resistance, start observing how we build resistance and the way we justify. But
we can learn to expand our comfort zone and to become OK with discomfort.

3. 9. Be compassionate
Yes compassion can change the way you feel about the world and compassion for yourself can
be life-changing. We do forget though to be compassionate, especially for ourselves!
Living mindful is about remembering to be compassionate after you had forgotten. 
10. Be grateful
Life is a miracle and once we stop complaining and start being grateful for the little things and
big things in life, we will be happier. Life is amazing.
11. Meditate
Last but not least, I finally suggest to try meditation. It is not complicated. We turn our
attention to our body and our breath. And we will notice our thoughts wandering off and all we
do is remembering to turn our attention back to our body and breath. Meditation is not about
being thought-free, or stress-free. Meditation is about noticing how our mind likes to change
our focus. Meditation is about being alert and awake. During meditation we are not going into a
dream state and allow our mind to wander off or getting lost.
Meditation practice is a practice of noticing. And meditation is a practice of being as present as
possible in the moment.
Ultimately that’s what we want to be: present in the very
moment for our children, our families and for ourselves.
This is where mindfulness begins.