Mindful Monday 09th December 2019 Dr Kayleigh Sumner Educational Psychologist Regent International School

1. Emotion Coaching
Mindful Monday 09th December 2019
Dr Kayleigh Sumner
Educational Psychologist
Regent International School

2. Today’s session
Objective:
To understand Emotion Coaching and how it
can be used to help children to manage their
feelings.

3. What is Emotion Coaching?
• It’s a 3 step strategy that focuses on the importance of
emotional regulation through supportive relationships.
• Teaches children about emotions in the moment and
helps them regulate.
• Gives children strategies to help them deal with their
emotional ups and downs.
• Accepts all emotions as normal.
• Uses moments of undesirable behaviour as
opportunities for teaching.
• Builds relationships of trust and respect with children.

4. What does the research say?
• Based on Neuroscience.
• Supports children to regulate their emotions.
• Build positive relationships and empathy skills.
• Increases academic attainment and resilience.
• Helps adults to feel empowered to deal with
challenging behaviour.
• Reduces infections.
• Children have fewer behavioural problems in
school.

5. Benefits for adults…….
It provides scaffolding
to structure the way to
deal with behaviour,
from the adult’s point
of view as well as the
child’s
Because I now use
emotion coaching I
think the
relationships I have
with the children is
much more relaxed
It keeps you calm
because you have
something simple
but effective to use It has given me
strategies to I
can use to
diffuse
behaviourI can remain calm and
consistent,
particularly with
angry pupils who
verbally attack you
personally
It helps us cool
down why we
collect our
thoughts and I
now shout less!
Rose, McGuire-Snieckus and Gilbert, 2014

6. Benefits for children….
Enables children to
separate themselves
from their behaviour –
so they don’t label
themselves as
‘naughty’
It helps them realise it is
Ok to feel sad or angry
but that some responses
are inappropriate – so it
gives children tools to
help them cope with
their feelings
It gives them (the
children) choices and a
way out of a difficult
situation without
confrontation
The children talk to each
other about their
feelings and they are
more likely to calm down
themselves
Releases huge burdens
for some children who
struggle with
emotional control
Rose, McGuire-Snieckus and Gilbert, 2014

7. Neuroscience
Three parts to our brain, can be divided into upstairs and
downstairs:
Neocortex –
Thought
Reptilian Brain – instinct/survival
Limbic system
– Emotion

8. Parenting behaviours – the securely
attached child
• Sensitive to child’s emotional state
• Responsive to signals of distress
• Comforting
• Available and engaging
• Able to attune
• Protective
• Provides secure base

9. Spot the difference
Dismissive Disapproving
Low empathy Low empathy
Low guidance High guidance
Laissez Faire Emotion Coaching
High empathy High empathy
Low guidance High guidance
Adapted from Janet Rose

10. Inside Out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT6FdhK
riB8

11. Hidden Needs

12. The 3 Steps of Emotion Coaching
1. Acknowledge Feeling: “I understand how you
feel. You’re not alone.” Recognise feelings and
empathise with them. Label.
(You need Step 1 to help the child become calm, so
they can engage with you for Steps 2 and 3).
2. Limit Set: “We can’t always get what we want.”
3. Problem Solve: “We can sort this out.”
Adapted from Janet Rose

13. Reflecting Feelings Statements
• It looks like you’re very happy.
• You seem a bit sad.
• I can see you are very frustrated.
• Are you feeling annoyed?
• It sounds like you were really scared.
• How did you feel when your toy was
taken?
• I wonder if you’re a bit annoyed?
• I bet that made you pretty grumpy.

14. Connecting Emotionally
• Empathy is always the place to start in order to help the
child work from both sides of the upstairs brain
• Emotional ‘first aid’ is needed first
• Proposing solutions before empathising is like trying to
build a house before you lay a firm foundation
• Stop talking and listen – even when you don’t like the
behaviour, acknowledge the feelings
• CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION
• RAPPORT BEFORE REASON
• NAME IT, TO TAME IT

15. Keeping yourself in the upstairs
brain
• Children with oppositional behaviour seem to be
able to send us from the upstairs brain to the
downstairs brain in no time!!
• We are conditioned to react immediately in order to
rectify the situation and maintain order
• We need to remain in our upstairs brain in order to
support children to be there too

16. References
• Gottman Institute www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-
to-emotion-coaching/
• Emotion Coaching Research (Bath Spa University)
https://www.bathspa.ac.uk/education/research/emotion-
coaching/
• Emotion Coaching:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KJa32r07xk&sns=em
• Janet Rose (Emotion Coaching research paper)
Emotion Coaching a universal strategy for supporting and
promoting sustainable emotional and behavioural well-being
• Growing an emotional brain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzn9OuBqKYs