communication skill

1. COMMUNICATION SKILLS
& SELF ESTEEM
A PRESENTATION
BY
V.VIJAYAMOHAN
DGM (TF), NATFM
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 1

2. WWHHAATT IISS CCOOMMMMUUNNIICCAATTIIOONN ??
TRANSFER OF MEANINGS
(Thoughts, Ideas, Feelings …)
Through Words, Actions …
FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER
TTHHIISS IISS CCOOMMMMUUNNIICCAATTIIOONN !!
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 2

3. SOME FACTS ABOUT
COMMUNICATION
• We can never really stop communicating at
any moment of our life.
• Our silence also communicates – some
times as much as, and some times more
than our words and gestures.
• Our communication may be good or bad –
effective or ineffective – conscious or
unconscious – but it goes on happening all
the time
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 3

4. SOME FACTS ABOUT
COMMUNICATION
• WE COMMUNICATE WITH ANIMALS,
BIRDS & INSECTS TOO – AND SO DO
THEY , WITH US.
• What Forms Of Communication Do We Adopt?
– Oral sounds (& Other Sounds)
– Writing & Graphics
– Gestures, Postures,& Other Acts
– Smell
– Eye-to-Eye contact …
– Touch
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 4

5. SOME FACTS ABOUT
COMMUNICATION
• ONE TO ONE – (FIX YOUR OBJECTIVE :
THOUGHT, FEELING, ACTION)
• ONE TO MANY ( WHY, TO WHOM,
WHAT,WHAER,WHEN )
• MANY TO ONE
• MANY TO MANY
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 5

6. TYPICAL COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
.. I am not going to
Allow you to say
Any thing,..You….
Look at this !!
COOK ALL
THIS…..???
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 6
My
Husband
wanted.. .
Why should I
cook
Am Busy now!!
Look at this !

7. COMMON PROBLEMS OF PERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
FOR SPEAKER
Language Barriers
Physical Problems
(tired, stuttering, ill-health etc)
Fear, Shyness, Anger…
Lack of enthusiasm & commitment to speak
Lack of knowledge of subject
Inability to understand listener’s mind-frame
Lack of (sufficient) interest in the Listener
Lack of an objective in communication
Lack of time, place & opportunity (at times)…
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 7

8. COMMON PROBLEMS OF PERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
2.FOR LISTENER
Most Problems of speaker
Body present - Mind absent
Dislike / Distrust of speaker / Subject
Pre-conceptions & Contrary views
Selective Listening
Tired/sleepy/ Heavy food/ drink
Speech-Listening mis-match
JARGON, Monotonous tone
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 8

9. COMMON PROBLEMS OF PERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
3.OTHER PROBLEMS
Noise
Air
Too pleasant surroundings
Too unpleasant surroundings
Too many speaking simultaneously
Other un-expected happenings
Breakage of medium /signals
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 9

10. SOME COMMON PROBLEMS & FAILURES OF
ORGANIZATIONAL COMMUNICATION
• INVISIBLE BOSS
Feels, familiarity breeds contempt;doesn’t feel, he is primus inter pares
• UNHAPPY CUSTOMER
Customer service becomes Lip Service : Words come from the mouth
only; Not from the heart; No one really cares for customer;
• THE NERVOUS SPEAKER
Trying to be some one else; Lacks preparation, naturalness, confidence
and enthusiasm; Can try to be his (best) self;
• THE TALKATIVE CHAIRMAN
Fond of his own voice; Never ends/begins on time; Never allows others
to express; Finds difficulty to listen
• NETMA LTD
Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything; I see it only in news paper / Web site
• THE ABRASIVE WALKIE-TALKIE:- Talks abrasively, abusively , &
hurtingly; but doesn’t either notice his EFFECT, or doesn’t care
• THE PLEASE-ALL & REPENT ALONE :- Can’t tell what needs to be
done; Talks all else; But, feels why people don’t do what they should !
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 10

11. EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION
• EACH COMMUNICATION WE SEND OUT AFFECTS THE PEOPLE
(& ANIMALS ETC) WHO RECEIVE IT IN SOME WAY OR OTHER
WE SEND OUT HAS SOME EFFECT ON THE
PEOPLE (& ANIMALS) WHO RECEIVE IT
• LIKE WISE, EACH COMMUNICATION WE RECEIVE HAS SOME
COMMUNICATIONS WE RECEIVE AFFECT US TOO
• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US VERY HAPPY !!
• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US WELL-INFORMED AND
KNOWLEDGEABLE – AND CONSEQUENTLY MORE RESPECTED
AND PROSPEROUS IN THE SOCIETY
• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US (A) UNHAPPY (B)
ANGRY (C) JEALOUS (D) MOROSE OR (E) MAD… !
• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN CAUSE SO MUCH STRESS TO
PEOPLE THAT SOME OF THEM MAY EVEN DIE !!
• ALL LEADERS ARE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS. SO, ARE ALL
HAPPY PEOPLE IN THE SOCIETY
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN ANY ORGANIZATION IS A
GREAT TOOL FOR ITS SURVIVAL, GROWTH AND POPULARITY.
• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN HIT THE ORGANIZATION
ADVERSELY AND LEAD TO ITS DOWNFALL
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 11
EFFECT ON US TOO
• GOOD & EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN MAKE US VERY HAPPY
!!
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN ALSO MAKE US WELL-INFORMED
AND KNOWLEDGEABLE – AND CONSEQUENTLY MORE
RESPECTED AND PROSPEROUS
• COMMUNICATIONS CAN ALSO MAKE US (A) UNHAPPY, (B)
ANGRY , (C) JEALOUS, (D) MOROSE OR (E) MAD… !
• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN CAUSE SO MUCH STRESS TO
PEOPLE THAT SOME OF THEM MAY EVEN DIE !!
• SO WHAT DO WE GAIN BY EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION? IS IT NOT
OBVIOUS ?
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN ANY ORGANIZATION IS A GREAT
TOOL FOR ITS SURVIVAL, GROWTH AND POPULARITY.
• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN HIT THE ORGANIZATION
ADVERSELY AND LEAD TO ITS DOWNFALL

12. Effective Communication Process
• Understand your OBJECTIVE in communicating
• Determine the PROPER PERSON to communicate with
• Determine the PROPER TIME to communicate
• Assess the PROPER ENVIRONMENT to communicate
• Frame the MESSAGE correctly & clearly
• Add VERBAL , NON-VERBAL & EMOTIONAL
COMPONENTS correctly
• Then, COMMUNICATE !
• Watch the FEED BACK i.e., Listen Carefully Now
• Assess clearly the IMMEDIATE RESULTS of your
communication
• ADJUST your communication – if feed back does not match your
expectation – and START THE COMMUNICATION again
• Become aware, when you have achieved YOUR OBJECTIVE
• YOUR EFFECTIVENESS AS COMMUNICATOR IS ALSO A
FUNCTION OF YOUR COMMUNICATION ATTITUDE SKILLS-TO YOUR VVM 12
LISTENER

13. Effective Communication –A Few ANCIENT Rules
• TALK TRUTH
• TALK SWEET
• TALK NOT UNSWEET TRUTHS << for insufficient
causes >>
• TALK NOT SWEET UNTRUTHS
• TALK – KNOWING THE AUDIENCE
• TALK – KNOWING THE TIME (CONTEXT)
• TALK – KNOWING THE PLACE
• TALK- WITH EMPATHY
• TALK- WITH ENTHUSIASM
• TALK NOT – WHEN YOU SHOULD NOT
• DO TALK – WHEN YOU SHOULD - FOR A GREAT
GOOD
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 13

14. CCOONNNNEECCTTIINNGG
• Establish Same Wavelength with the Listeners
• Your audience don’t care how much you know or tell -
until they know how much you care
• Connecting + Liking must be made to go together.
• Be ware, People can connect with strong dislikes also, if
focus is on same thing
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 14

15. ACTIVE LISTENING
• STAY IN THE PRESENT
• ACTIVE LISTENING HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT ONLY
• STAY TUNED TO THE PERSON. STAY TUNED TO THE
CONTENT.TAKE NOTES.
• STAY TUNED TO THE CONTENT.TAKE NOTES.
• APPRECIATE POINTS. SEEK CLARIFICATIONS.
• CONNECT TO ALL RELATED INFO IN YOUR MENTAL SPACE
• YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND A WORD OR SENTENCE ?
FINE, REMEMBER IT, BUT MOVE ON – ELSE, REST OF THE
COMMUNICATION SINKS INTO OBLIVION
• ENJOY LISTENING – BE INTERESTED & ENTHUSIASTIC
• TAKE CARE OF SENSORY PROBLEMS, DISTRACTING SOUNDS,
SIGHTS ETC. SHUT OUT ALL DISTRACTIONS
• REMEMBER - UNDERSTANDING DEPEND ON ACTIVE
LISTENING ONLY
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 15

16. DDIIFFFFEERREENNCCEESS
• We all believe in two things –
• 1. I am right about how I see, think &
act - So, if you don’t agree with me, you
must be wrong
• 2. All Other people should see life the
same way I do !
• But, others believe likewise – and, that
is the root of all problems in the world
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 16

17. AANNSSWWEERRIINNGG QQUUEESSTTIIOONNSS
• RREESSPPOONNDDIINNGG TTOO QQUUEESSTTIIOONNSS CCLLEEAARRLLYY,,
CCOONNFFIIDDEENNTTLLYY AANNDD GGRRAACCEEFFUULLLLYY IISS AANN AARRTT..
• CCHHRROONNOOLLOOGGIICCAALL AANNSSWWEERRSS (( II..EE..,, RREELLIIVVEE
IINNCCIIDDEENNTTSS))
• PPRRIIOORRIITTIIZZEEDD AANNSSWWEERRSS –– GGOO FFRROOMM MMOOSSTT
IIMMPPOORRTTAANNTT TTOO LLEEAASSTT IIMMPPOORRTTAANNTT
• JJUUMMBBLLEEDD//CCOONNFFUUSSEEDD AANNSSWWEERRSS
• UUNNRREELLAATTEEDD AANNSSWWEERRSS
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 17

18. EEMMPPAATTHHYY
• What reason or logic can not do, empathy
can !
• Empathy (Not sympathy) can persuade some
one more easily than reason or logic many
times
• Can you look at any occurrence, from my
view point ? If so, you have won my heart.
• You don’t see my view point? How can you
not?? Go to hell. I don’t think I can ever like
you – That’s human nature !
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 18

19. MMAARRKKEETTIINNGG YYOOUURRSSEELLFF
• You are communicating always.
• It means, you are, in fact, marketing yourself and your
ideas always – either poorly or well – but the process is
always on.
• It is up to you to market yourself WELL.
• Conscious marketing is –when you take conscious steps
to promote your image, your ideas and your project –
before others and get them accepted and adopted by
others
• Unconscious Marketing is –when some one perceives you
even before you even open your mouth
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 19

20. NNEEGGAATTIIVVEE IINNTTOO PPOOSSIITTIIVVEE
• Half Full, or Half Empty !!
• If some one doesn’t like you also, you may need
to communicate with him/her. Then what?
• Find something positive, preferably several
things to say and feel about that person
• You must make efforts to diffuse the ice…
• It will melt – steadily and surely – and Negative
will turn into positive
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 20

21. OONNEE WWAAYY CCOOMMMMUUNNIICCAATTIIOONN
• In one way communication, you have no chance of
telling what you have understood, what you haven’t
and what you have misunderstood !
• Some bosses may ask, have you understood; but, they
expect only a yes; There too, it is one way
communication
• You were not given time to ask, or you were afraid;
whatever the reason, misunderstanding crops up and
spoils the work later.
• Avoid one way communication by –(1) Explaining (2)
Demonstrating (3) Asking Qs of your listeners (4)
watching them do the first time
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 21

22. RREESSPPOONNSSEESS
• No response is still a response
• Response is based on one or more of -
• (a) Perceptions : of what you deem significant at the moment;
In an accident, you may view it from the driver’s view or the
victim’s view or the traffic obstruction view and then have
different perceptions
• (b) Experiences : past incidents, reading etc affect responses
significantly
• (c) Interpretations : Combines perceptions and experiences
and come out with some other view
• (d) Generalizations : Not giving importance to the present
incident, you might say that generally such things happen
because….
• A person’s responses indicate his perceptions, experiences
and interpretation and serve to view his mind – so that you
can frame your own response
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 22

23. SSAAYYIINNGG ““NNOO””
• Saying “NO” when required but with tact – is a very
good time management tool. But, cushion the NO with
the following :
• Ask time to think about it
• Seek renegotiation on more favorable terms for you
• Say NO but offer an alternative you feel is good
• If some one is very persistent and you must avoid him,
say a definitive “NO” as a complete sentence
• Ask for some thing in return – which is equal to NO
• Say YES, but recount what you can not and do not
want to do and what you can and do want to do in the
process
• Say, NO, unfortunately because – give a cogent reason
• How you say NO matters more than what you say.
Your NVC must match COMMUNICATION it favourably
SKILLS-VVM 23

24. SSHHAARRPP SSHHOOOOTTEERRSS
• Cruelty, like any other vice, requires no motive
outside itself; it only requires opportunity -
George Elliot
• The desire to hurt with words appears to be a part
of human nature – for many people
• You can beat the sharpshooter at his game
• You can also Focus on the issues at hand - ‘Let us
confine to the issues at hand. Other things are not
important and waste time’
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 24

25. SSUUBBOORRDDIINNAATTEESS
• You are paid to get things done – not always to do it
yourself. To communicate effectively with subordinates
• Use Formal and informal channels
• Create urgency and expectancy – to deal with
procrastination
• Communicate effectively what you want – explain
fully; demonstrate if necessary; ask for Qs, and
observe them do if you are unsure
• Focus on desired outcomes & reasons for them
• Involve them in decision making process
• Clarify their levels of authority, restrictions, reporting
requirements, regulations, deadlines and resources
• Provide regular feed back and support to them
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 25

26. UUNNDDEERRSSTTAANNDDIINNGG
• Understanding is your reward for Listening
• Understanding – is the removal of distortions and sharing of
meanings, feelings, ideas etc.
• One doesn’t have to agree with the speaker; but, receive open
heartedly, evaluate and discuss without mutual antagonism
• When you speak, you learn what you know. When you listen,
you learn what the partner knows. When you ask Qs, you
probe for better understanding
• We often do not know the Full story until we patiently listen
and probe with Qs
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 26

27. VVAALLUUEESS
• The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his
intellectual superiority to the other creatures, But the fact
that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any
creatures that can not - Mark Twain
• Your greatest power comes from your character – which is
strengthened or weakened by your values
• Reflect on the following :
• Which 5 things are important to you –
• - about being a good friend
• - about being a good co-worker
• - about being a good family person
• Think of relationships in which things went well and those
in which they did not ! Answer why in both
• What do you tell your children and then what do you do?
Reflect on your values & those which you are passing to
your children
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 27

28. YYEESS PPEEOOPPLLEE
• When a diplomat says YES, he means perhaps; when he
says perhaps, he means NO; when he says NO, he is not
a diplomat - [Lord Denning]
• The YES PERSON agrees with almost every thing but
follows through on very few things. To deal with them :-
• Encourage & make it safe to Disagree
• Surface unrealistic commitments
• Ensure commitment through follow-up
• Teach them how & when to say NO
• Focus on outcomes, time commitments and priorities
• Make sure they know - for what they are saying YES
and how they are going to keep the YES
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 28

29. HHOOMMEE....SSWWEEEETT HHOOMMEE....
• YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE – TILL YOU DEVELOP
SOME ATTACHMENTS & BONDAGES
• THEN, IT BECOMES A HOME
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE
HOME INTO A HEAVEN
• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN
THE SAME HOME INTO A HELL-LIKE ONE TOO..
• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY
• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 29

30. OOFFFFIICCEE....GGRREEAATT PPLLAACCEE....
• YOU SPEND 8 HOURS IN THE OFFICE
• YOU MUST MAKE ALL OUT EFFORTS TO MAKE
IT A GREAT PLACE TO WORK, ACHIEVE &
ENJOY – 1/3RD OF TOTAL LIFE –(or) ½ OF WAKING
LIFE CAN BECOME ENJOYABLE THEREBY
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE
OFFICE INTO A GREAT PLACE
• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN
THE OFFICE INTO A LOATHSOME ONE – AND
MAKE YOU A SICK AND UNHAPPY PERSON
• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY
• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 30

31. SSOOCCIIEETTYY....
• YOU & THE SURROUNDING SOCIETY ARE
INTER-DEPENDENT IN MANY WAYS
• YOU MUST MAKE ALL OUT EFFORTS TO ENSURE
THAT YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF HAPPINESS &
PROGRESS IN THE SOCIETY & VICE-VERSA
• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS IS THE KEY FOR
THIS
• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN
THE SOCIETY TO DISLIKE YOU – AND MAKE
YOU A LONELY PERSON
• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY
• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 31

32. ENDLESS….
• Communication is an endless process
• Its success is thus moment to moment
• Learn to enjoy your communications
• Learn to enjoy your Life
• ALL THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE
JOURNEY !!
T H AN K Y O U
COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 32