Authentic influencing is about creating results by going knowing and using your own values within the influencing framework. It is also about easy to use tools that can be used in any given influencing situation.

1. winning
about
not
It
Authentic influencing
Making it easy
Nels Karsvang January 2014.
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2. Introduction – to the workbook
First, the workbook is defining, influencing and providing a framework.
Secondly, you are encouraged to work on your own values and
connecting them to the framework.
Then you are given 8 additional tools, which are fairly easy to use.
The intention with this inspirational
workbook is to introduce a sense of a
structure that can be used for designing a
complete workshop, or just as inspiration
to put yourself in the driver’s seat towards
being better at authentic influencing.
I hope it will leave you inspired
Nels Karsvang, 2014.
Nelskarsvang@gmail.com // Linked In
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3. Traditional vs. making it easy
Traditional / often
Making it easy
Short time
Learn
Apply
Process
End
Usually a lot of the negotiation and influencing tools
are not used in accordance with the intentions of the
tools.
This often happens because the tools contain long
checklists or a lot of process steps if you want to use
them as they are intended.
What happens is that we can often not remember the
long checklist, the many process steps or something
happens in the situation that does not comply with
the checklist or long process that the tool demands.
One consequence is that we forget the tool – and
consequently stop using them.
Easy
Difficult
Start
Result
The reasoning behind this workbook is that it will
benefit you much more to have some easy-to-use tools.
Tools, which can be freely applied in any situation
where you need to influence or negotiate. Connecting
the tools to your values will secure that you use them in
an authentic way. It will save you energy and time in the
preparation phase, and it will allow you to be more
flexible and present in the given situation.
It will not make you come out as winner and that is also
not the goal – but it will help you secure an outcome
where all involved can leave with high integrity and
trust.
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4. What is influencing
Effect
In essence a result*
of a cause
Flow into
In essence a process moving along.
To have an effect and/or
flow into actions,
events and persons.
*This result does not only come from Cause and effect relations, it could be abductive, neural or other non
logical patterns of inference/reasoning.
Inspired by: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published
by Houghton Mifflin Company. And John Dewey 1859 - 1952 American philosopher, psychologist and pragmatist
.
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5. What is influencing
A frame to balance and be aware of - where do you spend your energy.
The effect when influencing is about doing something that has a result on actions, events and
persons. At the same time it is about moving actions, events and persons along. In others words
creating results when you are in movement.
Moving along
Process focused
Balanced
Lost, bigger picture
or investigating
Comments:
The framework is not about enhancing one domain
over another but it is about knowing when you are
finding yourself where in the framework, and how
your values makes you act and react in each of the
four domains.
Flexible, valueoriented and
aware
Being on hold
Effect focused
Bored, relaxed
or stressed
Furthermore, it is about knowing where you are
and then to identify what actions, events or
persons will need in order for you to influence
them.
Winner – loser
paradigm
And you are most likely able to make the right
influence when you are in the balanced domain –
keeping in mind that the actions, events and
persons could call for one of the others domains.
Effect focus
Nels Karsvang: Authentic influencing framework. 2013.
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6. Identifying your core values
Your values
…
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7. Identifying your core values
Using the MBTI framework
Your values
…
Understanding Yourself and Others: An Introduction to the 4 Temperaments-4.0: Linda V. Berens
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8. Identifying your core values
Your values
…
Schwartz, S.H. (1992). Universals in the content and structure of values: theoretical advances and empirical tests in 20 countries. In
M.P. Zanna, ed. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 25. Orlando: Academic Press, pp. 1-65.
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9. Core values used to authentic influencing
Putting your vales into play – increasing your ability to be in each domain in an authentic way.
Being on hold
Process focused
Effect focused
Balanced
Bored, relaxed
or stressed
Lost, bigger picture
or investigating
Winner –
looser
paradigm
Flexible, value
oriented and
aware
What is important for you in
order to be bored in an
authentic way
…
What is important for you in
order to see the bigger picture
in an authentic way?
What is important for you in
order to win in an authentic
way?
…
…
What is important for you in order
to be relaxed in an authentic way
…
What is important for you in
order to being balanced; being
and doing effect- and processfocused at the same time?
…
What is important for you in
order to be the investigator in
an authentic way?
What is important for you to
loose in an authentic way?
…
…
What is important for you in
order to keep a balanced and
flexible approach in an
authentic way?
…
What is important for you in
order to ‘stay in’ the stress of
being on hold?
…
What is important for you in
order to ‘stay in the feeling of’
being lost?
…
What is important for you in
order to position your self so
that you are aware of the
winner –loser paradigm?
…
Nels Karsvang: Authentic influencing frame work. 2013.
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Who are you when you are
balanced?
…

10. Tool
Securing your own Authenticity
Your behaviors
Your values
Does your values match
your behavior?
What do you do when there is a
mismatch/ dissonance?
Answers:
 Change your values to fit the
behavior?
 Change your behavior to fit your
values?
 Live with the
mismatch/dissonance?
What are the consequences to you?
What could you benefit from taking actions on and
value-reflections from
Festinger, L. (1957). A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. California: Stanford University Press.
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Gain inspiration
from the next page.

11. Tool
Securing your own Authenticity – help depending on your tilt tendency
Your behaviors
Your values
Optimum balance between values and
behavior:
Inner experience:
 Doing the right thing
 Congruent
 Being me, honest and authentic
Perceptions from others:
 Strong, firm
 Passionate
 Integrative authentic
Tipped balance when values are dominant
and behaviors are subdued:
Inner experience
 Knowing what is right
 Spend energy on what should have been
done.
 Torn, split and de-action
Perceptions from others:
 Approachable
 Withdrawn
 Strong value-orientation and weak on
actions
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Tipped balance when behaviors are
dominant and values are subdued:
Inner experience
 Low self esteem
 Defined by actions
 Inconsistent action pattern
Perceptions from others:
 Occurs an empty shell
 Strong action-orientation and weak on
values.
 Outgoing.

12. Tool
Securing that you get help where you tend to miss it
Put a ‘X’ in the box below according to
when you are asking others for help?
When are you asking for help?
Before During
After
When success
When Problems
When in the mood
It is the blank boxes that will provide the
input that can take you to a new level.
A common pitfall is that we don’t ask for
help when is seems to be going well – a
success.
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13. Tool
The greater power of any influencing situation
Greater powers
In general
Whenever you are engaged in influencing, remember to consider what greater
powers are involved, and take these powers into account. The greater powers
always dictate the meta-frame for the actions, events or persons you want to
influence.
Balanced
Flexible, valueoriented and
aware
Process focused
Effect focused
Lost, bigger picture
or investigating
How to use
Match what the greater powers are doing and act that out
towards the event, actions or persons you want to influence.
Detect which one of the four influencing styles the greater
powers display, and use that specific style towards the actions,
events or persons that you want to influence.
Winner – loser
paradigm
Being on hold
Bored, relaxed
or stressed
You
Actions, events, persons
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14. Tool
When to challenge and when to support
My Observations (When):
Confronting
Push
Challenging
Prescribing
Informing
How do you make
the strongest impact
in the current
situation, by:
My Actions/ What I will do (Skills):
Releasing
Pull
Supporting
Exploring
Supporting
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15. Tool
When to challenge and when to support - When to use & what skills to have
Confronting
Prescribing
Informing
When
 To show consequences of the client’s
action/thinking
 To challenge the client to re-think assumptions
 To raise the client’s awareness (e.g. of greater
powers or other’s perceptions)
 To boost clients confidence by affirming success
When
 If expertise is asked for
 When guidance is needed
 If the client is unable to direct them-self in
that moment
 If there are legal, safety or ethical guidelines
When
 Showing where to find extra help or
information
 Supplying facts and data
 Explaining what just happened
 Telling your own experience
Skills
 Knowing when appropriate
 Direct questions
 Giving constructive feedback
 Challenging defensive excuses
 Giving space to reflect
Skills
 How to prescribe
 Giving clear instructions
 Explaining why
 Motivating
Skills
 Presenting information - clear and concise
 Checking for understanding
 Inviting and handling questions
 Judging how much to give
Releasing
Exploring
Supporting
When
 If the client is afraid of risk or failure
 If the client feels incompetent
 If the client is frustrated, demotivated, angry
 If the client is excited, joyful, pleased
When
 To achieve a deeper level of understanding
 To achieve a broader more expansive
conversation
 To encourage the client to take responsibility
 To promote motivation and commitment
When
 To build moral and self-confidence
 To encourage risk taking
 To reward success, promote future
results
Skills
 Active listening
 Questioning
 Showing Empathy
 Feedback based on what you perceive
 Creating a supportive climate
Skills
 Wide range of questions
 Reflecting and paraphrasing
 Provoking curiosity
 Silence
Skills
 Expressing appreciation
 Showing YOUR confidence
 Sharing your mistakes
 Apologizing when necessary
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16. Tool
MBTI – using the functions
T
Use logical persuasion
F
Use appeal toward friendship,
values, collaboration and
alliance building
N
Use concepts, metaphors and
future benefits to persuade
S
Listen and identify the way the other is
formulating him/herself according to:
T, F, N or S
Then you apply their approach in the
way you communicate with them – it
will increase you ability to influence
him/her.
T
N
F
T
T
See facts, present tangible
arguments to persuade.
S
Myers, Isabel Briggs with Peter B. Myers (1980, 1995). Gifts Differing: Understanding Personality Type. Mountain View, CA: Davies-Black Publishing.
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T

17. Tool
Semantic awareness
Verbal or
text/email
Meta
model
Question
Desired
Revealed information
Deletions
Distortions
Generalizations
John Grindler and Richard Bandler in: Structure of Magic’ Vol.1 (1975)
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18. Tool
Semantic awareness – how to identify and use
Deletions
 Missing
 Unspecific
”I wont do it any more” What is that you won’t do?
”He is rather closed towards me” What do you
mean by closed?
”He actually do not like me, I can see it in his eyes”
How do you read in his eyes that he cannot like you?
Distortions
 Mind reading
 Cause and effect “He keeps on making the same claim he has simply
not understood what it is all about”. How do you
know that making the same claim means that he has
not understood what it is all about?
Generalizations
 Universal
 Modal verbs
“He never makes a conclusion” Have you experienced
him or heard about him making a conclusion?
“I should tell him to act on it” What happens if you
don’t tell him to act on it?
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19. Tool
Basic emotion and Empathy
Basic emotions that you can read in the facial expressions
Attack
Repeat or retain
Stop
The basic empathic actions
1 What are your emotions?
2 What are the emotions of the other –
what do you see?
3 Put your self in the shoes of the other.
4 As the other: What emotions would you
like to receive?
Vomit
Cry
Escape
5 As your self: Display those emotion
Glacomo Rizzalatti, University of Parma, 1990
Paul Ekman: Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life (Times Books, 2003)
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20. Tool
The arena of right & wrong – ethical reflections
High
Low
High
Low
Your own Interest?
Company interest
To secure optimal result
within the frame of Company
values and Vision
 How do you balance these 3 interests
when you are Influencing or
Negotiating?
 Are the interests right or wrong?
 Are the interests helping or interfering?
High
Low
Client interest
Do you know them?
Do you take them into account?
Client Company interest
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21. I welcome your Feedback & feed forward
As you see it
In writing to
Nelskarsvang@gmail.com
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We will listen